chapter 5
~Anthony's POV
I stood shocked at what I just did. Let a machine wipe me off the face of Earth. It was like not existing anymore. It's what I was thinking while me, Michael, Vinyl and Octavia walked out of the disguised shack, got in the car and drove onto the nearby path. "You sure that was a good idea," I said, "wiping out any info leading to us?"
After a while Michael replied. "If there isn't any information leading to our lives, anyone looking for us with Octavia an Vinyl aren't gonna know how to find us, or even figure out what we would do." I thought about what he said and told him, "Oh, well I guess I didn't think of that."
We arrived at the woods we were looking for. It was getting visibly darker each second that passed. I didn't need a watch to tell it was around 7:30 pm.
Vinyl spoke up. "This reminds me of the Everfree forest near Ponyville."
"I agree," Octavia pursued ,"it's also very creepy."
“I thought you guys don’t have any memory of Ponyville and Equestria,” I asked curiously?
“I guess we are getting bits and pieces back slowly,” Vinyl said.
I just decided to ignore it for now and I didn't want to hang around the woods where I couldn't see, so I asked Michael if we could camp out on the edge of the woods.
"Sure, we can. Everything in the car?"
I nodded and hopped into the camper, but before I closed the door I said,"We're gonna have to ditch it eventually, you know."
"Someone's gonna notice their car is missing. I guess we could leave it here after tonight." He replied.
"What's a car?" Vinyl and Octavia simultaneously asked.
Michael did the best he could to describe a car.
"It's an... Automatic... Wagon?"
"Oh!" They seemed to understand.
When we found a place to camp we set up camp. The tent was the first to go up. We placed four sleeping bags in the tent. There was a pink one, a red one, a blue one and a green one. Michael picked green, vinyl blue, and Octavia got red. I was sad to be stuck with pink, but at least it's comfortable.
I went into the forest with Vinyl to get some wood. I took the Barrett 50 cal I got from the shack with me, just in case. My dad always warned me of the dangers from camping. We walked for about 7 minutes when I heard a faint whisper and a rustle of bushes and other vegetation. Slowly I pointed my sniper at where the noise came from and called out, "Hello? Who's there?" I regretted saying that after what came out. Or most importantly, WHO came out.
~Michael’s POV~
Octavia and I were sitting on our sleeping bags, using our flashlights to get food out of our bags. We decided on having a weenie roast to lighten the mood, when Michael and Vinyl get back with the firewood.
After about 15 minutes, I started to get a little worried. They should have been back by now, I mean it’s a forest, there is plenty of sticks laying around. I stood up and said, “Octavia hide out in the tent till I get back. Im going to go check on Michael and Vinyl.” Octavia stood up and walked over to the tent, “Alrite but please hurry back, this really does remind me of the Everfree Forest.”
I walked deeper into the woods and started hearing some voices, “Hello Anthony," The voice said cunningly. That voice sounded familiar and then I realized, that's my Dad's voice. How did he get out of prison and more importantly, how did he find us? I ran over to where the voices were coming from and hid behind the bushes, so they wouldn't see me. "Tell me where my son is, I know you are helping him protect Octavia!" Anthony started walking backwards very slowly, "I don't what your talking about, I'm just out having a good time camping." Anthony accidently tripped over a loose root and dropped the fire wood and fell down. "Oh don't give me that load of shit, tell me where he is now or I'll shoot," I saw Dad raise his pistol and aimed it right at Anthony's head. I was about to jump out of the bushes and tackle my Dad, but somebody from behind him spoke. "Robert, don't forget they told us to take them back alive, or they would have our heads," the Stranger stepped out of the bushes and stood beside my Dad. Anthony was still on the ground and asked, "Who is it that gave you that order?" The Stranger spoke first, "That's none of your buisness kid, all that matters is that we get our money and you are delivered." That's when I saw Vinyl come out from behind Anthony and yelled, "If you lay a hoof on Anthony, you will have to anwser to me!!" My Dad and the Stranger started laughing, "You honestly think you would stand a chance against us," They asked? Vinyl ran towards them and turned around, to buck my Dad right in the shin. My Dad fell to the ground, from the impact, "You little pest, John get that horse and I'll grab Anthony. As they were about to grab them, I stepped out of the bushes with my M16 in my hands. "Yo Dad, you touch my friends, you will pay the price. I already had you sent to prison, the next consequence will be death. Now tell me, who sent you and how did you find us?"
They backed up a bit and my Dad spoke, "Now son please put down the gun, this is all a big misunderstanding." I walked closer and raised my gun, pointing it at his head, "Tell me now or i will shoot." He finally broke and said, "Alright I'll tell you, just put the gun down. It all started when John and I escaped prison. That's when they showed up."
"We were running towards the Highway to hitch a ride with someone, but before we got there some people got in our way. We thought they were just some gang members, because of the tattoo markings on their body. I walked towards them and told them to back off, so we could keep on moving. They just stood there until one of the members confronted me. He said that if we helped them, they would pay us some major cash and help us escape. We got greedy and accepted the offer, only the catch was that It was you they wanted. I had revenge in my heart, so I didn't care. They told us where to find you and Anthony were at and that we had to take all of you back to them, along with the horses." I interupted him, "They ain't horses, so stop saying that. They are equals to us, so back off, now you may continue." My Dad had a confused look, but shook it off and continued. "The leader, the one that confronted us, raised his hand and it started glowing. Next thing I know a SUV appeared right in front of us, I was scared shitless. This guy had made a car materialize out of nothing. He told us to get in and gave us the location on where to find them, when we capture you guys. We left and I figured you would come here to get supplies to protect you from these people. That's about it, now will you please put the gun down Michael?" I still didn't trust him, so i said," Not until you throw your pistol aside, along with you John, toss whatever weapons you have aside." They did this and I lowered my M16 and walked over to Anthony to help him up. I also walked over to Vinyl and gave her a brohoof and said, "Nice job Vinyl." She started smiling and then put her serious look back on. She then walked toward's my Dad and his friend and said, "I don't know what Michael wants done with you, but I would have him shoot you in the leg and leave you two out here in the cold. Though I don't think he is that mean, so what do you want to do Michael, Anthony?" I just looked at her with my mouth hanging, did she just seriously say that? It isn't that bad of a thought, they were going to hurt Anthony and Vinyl, but I decided against it.
"I'm not going to shoot you, but I will take all of your ammunition and supplies. Then you can just leave and don't come back looking for us, if you report back to those crooks and I find out, I'll personally hunt you down and take your life. Do you understand?" I don't know if this happens very often, but I could tell my Dad and his friend were more scared of us, than the people that burnt down our house. Dad and his friend gave us everything they had and left. I decided to shoot towards the direction they left, to give them a warning shot, to make sure they understood me. Next thing I hear is them running away like little kids.
We decided to gather more fire wood and head back to our camp site. Vinyl wanted to help, so she picked up some sticks with her mouth and carried it the rest of the way. When we got back I told Octavia that it was safe to come out, so she came outside the tent and sat down beside me. I put the fire wood in the pit, that we made and started trying to get it to light. While I was trying to light the fire wood, Anthony had Vinyl go inside the tent to get the Marshmallows and hotdogs. Knowing that they don't eat meat, I reminded Anthony about the dandelion's I picked along the way. He got up and grabbed the loaf of bread, so Octavia and Vinyl could eat Dandelion sandwiches. When they got back, we all sat down to have a good time.
Anthony got this great idea, "Hey Vinyl want to show Michael and Octavia our new tunes." Vinyl quickly scarfed down her sandwhich and ran over to the camper. Anthony rushed to her side and opened the door the camper. They brought out the equipment and got a extension chord to hook everything up. When they were finished Anthony got a couple of stools from inside and they sat down. Octavia and I sat there and listened to the two jam out and headbang. Afterwhile Anthony got a little tired and we all settled in for the night. We have a long journey on our hands.
~Back in Equestria~
Once Luna got back from raising the moon and entered her sister's study, "Sister we have decided to go to Earth and help out the human's. Celestia quickly turned around and said, "Why must you go to Earth, you have been doing just fine comunicating to them from here." Luna shook here head, "I'm afraid that they will soon not listen to me, not knowing who it is speaking to them." Celestia understood, " I may not trust these humans, but be careful, we do not quite understand this Earth. I will try my best protecting this land, until you get back. I beleive this new threat is planning an assault on Canterlot. Whoever is after Octavia and Vinyl, is also here in Equestria still."
After Luna got done with her meeting with her sister, she did a teleportation spell and disappeared.
~Back on Earth~
Luna made it safely to Earth, but was in shock at her new appearance. She looked down at her body and noticed she had hands and feet. Not only that she wasn't quite use to standing on two legs. After getting use to her new body, she went on her way to look for Michael and the rest of the group.
Stats
Page generated in 0.049 seconds
Total duration
909 users online
1,239,009 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
So much butthurt from everyone on this page.
Edit: oh wow i've commented on this before wow
Okay, so after eading chapter 5, what have I got to say?
Let's just say, it wasn't that bad. But there are some problems.
One of the things that bothered me was the fact that in Michael's POV you seem to switch Anthony's and Michael's name around. It's easy to fix, don't worry about that.
I also saw some grammar mistakes here and there. Read your story a little and you should be able to spot them pretty easily.
But once again, the problem that I had with the other chapters is that it seems to go a little too well for the main characters (Wish fulfillment logic). I don't know if this will change in the future, but if you are not gonna do it, I recommend not letting them win all the time. Letting them always win gets boring really fast.
And last, but not least, there is hardly any character development. This should be the most important thing with these characters, learning about them and their relationship with one another. But we haven't seen any of that yet. Maybe move a little slower or have an entire chapter dedicated to character development.
But as I stated before, you atleast improved on your writing, which is better than I can say about most new authors on fimfiction. And teaming up with someone is actually a pretty good idea, but could have been handled a little better, like giving Meat Biscuit a little more writing space in your story. But beside that, I think you kind of have my attention, so I shall wait for chapter 6.
2505468 Thanks for continuing with the story
. I will also take those ideas of yours into thought and use them in the coming chapters. This really does help me out alot and it also makes me a better writer.
2503497 Sorry you didn't like it but don't get to hateful. Also don't joke about suicide man, I know to many people that have done that so back off
2503399 Lol what you mean by butthurt
lol hope it means something good
Hhmmm... the story is throwing me off a bit. But I think I'll keep on reading... for now.