Rainbow Dash woke up slowly, feeling groggy. She heard a blip from the darkness that she inhabited. With a surge of fear she opened her eyes wide and scanned the immediate area around her bed, searching for what she thought to be her heart monitor making the noise. Fortunately she didn’t have one, but she had bandages on both her wings. She had never had both of her wings in bandages at the same time. “That crash had obviously been intense”, she thought to herself, “I’m gonna be here a while”.
“Sheesh, Dash; you look rougher than Big Macintosh after a week’s campin’”, Applejack exclaimed as Rainbow looked up and finally noticed all of her friends standing around her bed. Everypony looked sorry for her except Pinkie Pie, who was tapping a heart monitor next to a bed on the other side of the room. That must have been the noise she had heard.
“Well I’ve been in better situations, I guess”, She replied, “How long will I have to stay here?” I want out. Now. So I can get back to flying.” A doctor who Rainbow Dash hadn’t yet noticed came forward and explained to her the condition her wings were in and how long it would take to at least get her out of hospital, going into huge detail about the fractures, and generally making everypony a little ill.
“2 Weeks?!” Rainbow cried. A feeling of seclusion and claustrophobia set in. She had never felt so trapped in her life. She tried to calm herself down, thinking of how good the wind feels on her mane and the sensation that came with kicking down a row of clouds. This didn’t last long as the doctor quickly brought her back to reality. “Correct”, the doctor replied “the breaks in your wings are only minor but they will need time to heal. Please try to stop yourself from doing anything reckless this time, Rainbow Dash” he said, rolling his eyes at the amount of times he could remember find her climbing out of a window or tying several sheets together to form a rope.
“We should probably let you settle in and rest for a while”, Twilight said, “Are there any books you would like me to bring for you next time we visit?”
“The next Daring Do?” Rainbow Dash pleaded. Twilight always kept track of which book Rainbow Dash was reading, the next book was possibly Twilight’s favourite, and she knew Rainbow Dash would love it.
The last time she had been in hospital, Rainbow Dash had started to read the first Daring Do book, making her time there feel almost like 22 minutes. Reading wasn’t really her thing before she began the series, and since then she had poured herself into action adventure books from the library when she wasn’t working as a weather pony or practicing stunts. Rainbow Dash had 6 books left to read in the collection of 12, and there was another said to come out later that year.
“Of course”, Twilight replied, smiling.
“Thanks, Twi, you’re the best”, Rainbow said, returning her smile. She said goodbye to her friends, who promptly left her to do as she pleased, with her only restraint being her damaged wings and the hospital walls.
Rainbow Dash let out a long sigh and lay down, hoping that once she had something good to read, she would be out of there in no time and back up in the clouds.
And then they had hospital sex.
Mentions shipping in description.
No romance tag.
It's just so... short.
Needs longer chapters.
2281015 Thanks for pointing that out!
2281288 I'm gonna try and make them longer; I'm trying to grasp writing better but I find it difficult to create a story with chapters longer than 400 words. I'll try my best though.
The one thing i've noticed the most is that you don't use enough commas in your sentences, it's only a minor thing but it can really improve the reading momentum :D
Edit: Only saw this in chapter 1, 2 is much better
2292633 Thanks! I'm always up for hearing people's ideas and ways to better my writing style, so I'll try to stay true to what you said and keep the fic rolling a little more. I may be working with my good friend Drop Dee on it soon, so I'm sure he can help me beef out the chapters and add input as to where I should piece certain parts of the story in. Also, thanks for favouriting my fic!
2294318 I can try to beef these chapters up but by how much, well, we'll have to wait and see.
2426402 Well any help would be appreciated!