Frozen Over

by nctransgirl

Chapter III - Alone

Chapter Three: Alone

"Hey, Kalki! Watch this move!" I crafted a makeshift ramp out of snow and jumped off it, performing a perfect backflip in the air before gracefully touching the ground again. In the week since I earned my cutie mark, I had become more and more enamored with skating, practicing new moves at least twice a day every day. Today, however, I performed my first move without ice, instead compressing snow into a more sturdy state using my magic. Even my mentor and friend was taken aback by my feat, one that I had been trying to master for at least four days.

"Snow, that was incredible!" I could see a genuine twinkle in Kalki's eyes. After he witnessed my clean landing, he walked over to the ramp and gave it a fierce kick with his hind legs, and to his surprise, it didn't budge.

"I had no idea you could do that. You've grown to be very proficient with your magic since I found you." The compliment made me want to sing.

"You really think so, Kalki? That really means a lot, I've been doing my best to improve." I beamed at him and walked to his side, where we gazed at the mountains together. The more I looked out at the world around me, the more I began to wonder if other places existed. I shrugged off the thoughts, and focused my attention on a small circle in which snow had not fallen, instead covered in little green blades.

"Kalki? What's that over there?" I pointed my hoof northwest to the patch of the unknown substance. A bit confused, he answered:

"That is called grass. Have you not seen it before? It covers the land, you know." He waved his claw to the the horizon.

"It smells...delicious." I trotted to the grass and began to eat.

"As it should, Snow! Ponies are usually vegetarian, meaning they only eat things like grass, hay, and flowers, but never animals." He walked over to me and tousled my mane. "I'm glad you enjoy it."

"Wait...if ponies are vegetarian...am I...different?" I stopped eating, suddenly realizing my diet was less than diverse and that I really was a strange filly.

He wrapped his claw around me. "Snow, you're not any less of a pony than I am a griffon. You're just that much more special, in my opinion. Now, there's grass underneath all of this snow. Would you like find some more?" He began to walk away, nodding his head in the opposite direction.

"You know I do! Let's find some!" I exclaimed, cantering my way to his side. The world around me was vast, with only the trees nearby and the mountains in the distance providing any scenery. I quickly took notice of the green needles on a fir tree as we passed it, and turned to my mentor.

"Hey, Kalki. Those little blades on that tree...is that grass? Can I eat that?" I began to smile.

He laughed. "No, Snow. Those are leaves. The trees need the leaves to live, just as the grass needs the soil in the ground."

"One more question. Why are we walking?" I sincerely wanted to know. He remained silent for a moment as we continued to walk, and after a while, when he suddenly stopped, he answered.

"I was looking for a patch of snow that was thin, where snow had not completely covered the grass. Snow, do you think you could levitate some of this out of the way?" He waved at the ground.

"Just some snow? That'll be easy. Hold on." I concentrated my magic into my horn for the task, and after a few seconds, surrounded by my blue aura, the snow lifted off the ground, revealing a small but lush field. After tossing the snow into a pile, I began to skip through the field.

The landscape was wondrous, with grass covering nearly every inch of my vision. Little yellow flowers swayed with the wind, inviting me into their territory. Everything looked and smelled so...fresh, unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Almost instantly, I trotted over to one of the flowers and took a sizable bite, allowing its ripe sweetness to drain into my mouth before swallowing it in one gulp.

"Kalki, this thing is delicious! You have to try it out!" I shouted at Kalki, who was about thirty feet away, simply standing, watching me have my snack.

"That's a snow crocus! Very rare, they actually thrive in snow. And I'm not particularly fond of flowers, sorry." He called the words back at me.

"Well, I don't care what it is, it's good." I walked back over to him and took a longer moment to look out at what I could only call our land.

"Isn't it pretty? All the grass and flowers are so beautiful..." I smiled with a bit of pride in what I'd done. After a moment of silence, I began to trot off to get more flowers to eat.

"Yes, it truly is." As I continued my little feast, he looked upon the world I had uncovered, smiling at first, then looking with wonder at the ground on the ground. "Snow! Come back here, now!" I hadn't heard him speak with such urgency since the night of the snow leopard attack. I rushed to him post-haste. Whatever this was, I knew I was in for something unusual.

"What is it, Kalki? Snow leopards? Another fox? A water buffalo? I can take 'em!" I was ready for a fight.

"None of that, Snow. Look."

Before my eyes, caressed by a bed of grass, I saw a small binded book, brown and faded by age. On the cover, I saw a picture of three ponies, all unicorns, in front of a luxurious building. One, a stallion, was a white like a star in the sky, with a short, brown mane that hardly reached his neck. He was smiling, looking at another unicorn, a mare, close to him. She was gorgeous, with a beautifully coiffed blue mane that curled its way nearly to her hooves. Her coat was equally well groomed, white, just as the stallion was. Her eyes were like amethyst, shining with violet light into the eyes of her lover.

But the two lovebirds weren't what I was primarily focused on. In their hooves, they held a small filly with a snowy white coat and cerulean hair that dangled ever so slightly over her face. She had eyes that matched her hair, ones that were filled with wonder. She had her small hooves raised into the air, as if wishing to grab something right out of the air. As I looked at the photograph, a small feeling of nostalgia stirred in the back of my mind, but I brushed it away.

"They all look so happy, Kalki." I lost myself in the eyes of the playful little filly. There was something irking me about the couple, as well.

"Yes, they do. This looks like a journal...would you care to read it with me?" Kalki carefully opened the book, so as not to damage it with his talons.

"But wouldn't that be rude? It looks kind of personal." The feeling the photo gave me told me I probably wouldn't want to read this book.

"Under all of this snow, way out here, there's no way that the pony who wrote these entries would ever be able to find this journal again. There's not much point in not reading it, knowing how unlikely it was that it'd ever be read again." He looked at me rather sternly.

"Well...alright." I sat down and, with some reluctance, began to read with him starting from the beginning on a page marked "Entry #1".

"Well, it's official...we're expecting! I can't believe it, I really can't. Diamond Dust and I went to a colleague of mine and he confirmed that she's pregnant with our first little pony. After all these years, we've been trying for much too long, and frankly, I was about to give up, but it's finally here! I tell you, I couldn't be more excited. I'm really hoping it's a colt, fillies seem like they'd be a lot of work. Anyway, Diamond needs me for dinner. Gotta go!" - Peridot

"So, this is the journal of a father-to-be..." Kalki smiled warmly as we read through the entries, detailing Peridot's daily life with his wife and his eagerness at the fact that he was going to be a father.

"It's a girl! We were able to get a look at an ultrasound, and it's true. Truth be told, I really was hoping for a colt, but Diamond sure was thrilled. I actually caught her looking for bedroom decorations earlier today, like the baby is just going to be born tomorrow! She can be so silly when she gets worked up like this, but I guess that's just how mares are. Who knows, maybe next time, it'll be a colt? Or maybe our little filly will be a tomboy, I wouldn't mind. I just want a foal to play catch with, so I guess it doesn't matter. I wonder what we're going to pick for a name...since it's a girl, I should at least get to pick it out. Diamond Dust can't have it all, you know!" - Peridot

The rest of the page was filled with crossed-out names, ideas for the name their little filly would take. The hours passed, and we continued to read, becoming more and more enamored with this stallion's life. Apparently, he and his wife were doctors at a small hospital in a bustling city called Canterlot, full of unicorn ponies like me.

Eventually, we came upon "Entry #42."

"It happened today...our little baby was born at the Canterlot Hospital today at 3:52 P.M., and we couldn't be happier. She's a bit of a runt, and she might have to stay here for a few days, but we both have faith that she'll be fine. She has the coat and mane of Diamond, and she has my mother's eyes...she's gorgeous. Next week, when we're all out, I think we'll actually head out to that little town south of Canterlot, Ponyville, or something like that. I heard there's a pink pony there that throws the best birthday parties around. It's been about an hour since delivery, and I still just can't believe our baby is finally here. We settled on a name, too, by the way. Her name is Lapis Lazuli. By settled, I mean Diamond begged, and I couldn't say no. Anyway, the baby is about to take a nap, and I want to spend the day with my wife...I'll write again as soon as I can." - Peridot

Taped to the page, there was a picture of the newborn filly, who was sleeping without a care in Equestria. Being a newborn, her mane was short, but it was gorgeous nonetheless. Again, as I peered at the foal, I felt a strange memory...this time, I was a little bit more sure of my assumption, and a little bit less willing to continue reading. The next entry we caught ourselves in was just a page ahead, "Entry #43."

"It's been a while since I've picked this up, huh? Lapis is growing up great. She's actually starting to learn how to walk, but she isn't showing any progress with speaking...I guess some ponies are just late bloomers. I'm sure she'll be able to someday. Speaking of Lapis, I'm taking her up north with me. We've got a terribly sick patient at the hospital, and he needs a Blizzard Lily, so I have to go up to the border of the Frozen North. Diamond says I should leave her here, but honestly, she worries about everything lately, on the count of Lapis' speech problem. I say Lapis should see the world, so that's what she's going to do. I've already packed my saddle bag, and we're leaving tomorrow. I'll be taking this along with me in case anything interesting happens, as if it would. Until then!" - Peridot

My heart sank. Any doubts I had about that little filly had now been cast aside, and my suspicions had been confirmed. I knew who she was. Reluctantly, we turned to the last entry in the journal, which was left without a number. The entire page was blotted with slightly noticeable dark spots, apparently left by tears.

"She's gone. Lapis is gone. It's all just gone...Diamond was right, I shouldn't have brought her here. We came all the way up to the border, and I searched at least half of it, but the Blizzard Lily wasn't there. I talked to the locals, and they all told me that I'd have to go further in, so that's what we did. Lapis was so happy...she saw all the birds on the border and couldn't help but smile...as for the Lily, I couldn't even find it. We'd been in this frozen place for just a few hours, and a blizzard came along...she saw something and cantered off just before it came...and then she never came back. I've been searching for her for at least four days and nights, and she hasn't appeared yet...I don't even care about this damn flower, I don't even care about the patient anymore. I just want my little filly back. How am I supposed to come back home alone? How in Equestria am I going to tell Diamond? It's all so wrong. I don't even want to think about this. I just want it to end...but I have to go back home. Diamond has to know...but this book...I can't even stand it anymore. The memories are too much...I'm going to throw this damned book away, and go home, and somehow, I'll fix this...I know I can..."

The rest of the entry was slurred, unsigned, and unreadable, not only because of Peridot's tears, but of mine, which flowed mellifluously before falling to rest on the forlorn page. That filly...it was...me. I just knew it. As the tears continued to fall, I felt a wing embrace me with unusual warmth, and I turned to my only friend.

"Snow," he spoke in his deep, solemn voice, "you can let it out." And I did, smothering his body with my face as I let the tears escape.

"He left me here, Kalki...he abandoned me." I wiped away a tear as I shakily spoke.

"He did not abandon you! He searched for you for four days! He was committed to having you back." He tousled my already-scraggly mane and looked into my eyes, his own silver ones peering straight into my soul. Taken aback by his sudden action, I thrust myself away from him.

"He could have found me faster, he could have tried harder!" I could feel my voice rise out of a steady loss of control.

"No, he couldn't have, Snow! I found you by accident, and I can fly. He couldn't fly, so he had a harder time, you've got to understand that!" For a change, Kalki seemed displeased with the manner in which I was acting, but I was too caught up at the time to notice it.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter now! I don't even know this...Peridot. You're a better dad than he was, Kalki." I pushed myself away from him, and took a moment to let the final teardrops descend.

"But he was, or is, still your father, and that's something I only wish I could say." He extended a jet-black wing in my direction. "But I can keep trying to be one." I allowed his wing to engulf my body once again, its warmth permeating throughout my being.

A wave of realization swept through me. Kalki wasn't my dad. He'd never be my dad. His being with me in itself was only a matter of circumstance and coincidence. And this dad that supposedly loved me could be somewhere far away...he might not even remember me. Even with Kalki here, keeping me safe and warm...I'd never felt so cold and alone...

"Snow, you should eat up. We need to get back home." He lifted his wing off of me and raised himself up. "Have all the grass you'd like."

"I'm not really that hungry right now, Kalki. I'm sorry for the trouble." I kicked my hoof into the ground and pouted. "Let's just go home." I lifted the book up with my magic, and got up slowly, the sorrow within me weighing me down. After taking a moment to look out at the lush field one more time, we turned our backs and began walking home.

Most of our little journey back to the cave was silent, much like the world around us. Every now and then, we'd see a gyrfalcon, but what caught my eye was a smaller bird, one with an orange beak that perfectly complemented its white feathers and black head. Kalki almost looked surprised himself as the bird flew overhead. Upon seeing the bird, he broke the silence that filled the air.

"That, Snow, is an arctic tern. Every year, they fly from here to the Antarctic, southernmost area of our world, far south of Equestria. The fact that they're here must mean it's time for them to mate." I could hear a certain air of tenderness in his voice.

"Kalki...why do they go such a long way? Is there even a point in all that?" I started to slow down, and he followed.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure. I've never been to the southern, Antarctic area of this world; it's too far for these old wings to fly. But I can assume it has to do with food. No creature would ever travel such a long ways if they didn't have a reason to, especially if that meant venturing into dragon territory, like the tern does. I'm sorry I can't answer your question well." He began to walk at a quicker pace again, and I did the same. As we watched the tern fly out of our vision - or at least my vision, as I could see Kalki peering its way for at least fifteen seconds after I stopped trying to find it.

"It's alright, I learned something, and that's what counts, I suppose." I smiled, and let his words echo in my head.

"No creature would ever travel such a long ways if they didn't have a reason to."

I thought about that for a while...Why didn't Peridot search for me for more than just four days? Was I not worth it to him? Did I simply not matter? The questions piled up, and with each new one I asked myself, I found my smile deteriorating until it was simply nonexistent. Before I knew it, the sun had rested over the mountaintops, illuminating the sky with a scarlet light, and we had found our way back to our home.

That night, I opted not to eat fish, instead helping myself to a small bit of grass outside. While I was busy eating, Kalki decided to read through Peridot's...my father's journal again. We found ourselves unusually silent on that particular night; after I finished my meal, and the fire had been created, I went straight to sleep, while my guardian continued to read by the light and keep watch over me. After about half an hour after I drifted off into my slumber, dreams began to cloud my mind.

I found myself back out of my cave...but how? The snowflakes were falling gently, dancing around my figure before reaching the ground, unlike the days I remember, where snow seemed to force its way at the soil. In my somewhat hazy vision, I saw a figure, a white one, galloping toward me, and I panicked, trying my absolute hardest to move...but no matter how hard I tried to gallop away from the intimidating figure, I just sat in place. All at once, as the figure rushed toward me, its features became clear. It was a pony, a white one, with a short, spiky brown mane and eyes like sapphires.

"Lapis? Lapis!!! Don't worry, Lapis, I'll get you! Just don't worry, don't move! Daddy'll have you back soon!!! Lapis...Lapis..." The voice began to fade away. I wanted to scream, to shout out that I was okay, and let the pony know where I was, but a word never escaped me. When he finally reached me, I was finally able to get up, and I began to gallop toward him, and I jumped to embrace the pony. However, when my hooves surrounded the stallions neck for an embrace, they simply passed through it, and I hit the snow face-first. Even as I tried to hold him, even when he was right in front of me, I still allowed him to leave me alone...and he kept calling my name, the name I was given. All I could do was listen as his cries for a lost daughter grew weaker and weaker. When the sound of Peridot's voice had faded entirely, all I could do was scream at the top of my lungs.

And suddenly, I felt a warmness, which upon checking, had come from a black wing which came seemingly out of nowhere. It was at that moment that I ceased my screaming and began to shed tears. Almost immediately, my world began to crack, shards of the sky crashing down to the earth around me. But I wasn't afraid anymore, simply shocked. When the last semblance of my world was no longer existent, I awoke, and found the wing resting on me again. It, of course, belonged to my friend. He had put down Peridot's journal, and was sitting next to me. As I felt a tear roll down my face, I felt him wipe it away with a wing.

"You were screaming." He put it simply.

"Kalki, I'm sorry...I had a horrible dream..." My voice was weak, partially from my bout of crying, and partially from my screaming.

"Snow," he said, "would you like it If I helped you sleep tonight? Like I used to?" More tears attempted to trail down my cheeks, and again, he wiped them away.

"I'd love that." I whispered softly, letting the final tears get brushed away by the tip of his wing.

I willed myself over to him, and nuzzled my body against his own, ever-so-gently. As I began to smile, I felt one wing cover me, and then another, and finally, I found myself grinning, now surrounded by warmth. After a few moments, I felt myself drifting off, and soon, I found myself in better dreams.

Comments

[Midnight Words]

I like how this is going but what are the actual chances of finding her father's journal in the snow?

[nctransgirl]

2362790 Not very high, I'd assume. Good thing Kalki's got the eyes of an eagle!

[nctransgirl]

2400491 Keep reading, you might find out