The Storm is Here!
Prologue: Calm before the Storm
"Ok! I got my gear, I got my armor, the flyer to get in, and my dad's sword... Am I forgetting anything?" asked a true blue pegasus with a sunglow yellow mane and tail to himself. He finished getting his wings through the holes in the back of his blue-gray hoodie. The pegasus then put the flyer into his tan baggy pants. He finished by throwing on a red and black bag on his back along with a sheathed sword.
"Just one thing, honey," said a bright orange pegasus. The mare took the pendant necklace she was wearing and placed it around the stallion's neck. The pendant was a black tornado attached to a thin fabric strap. "My father gave this to me when I was your age. It only seems right to pass it to you."
"Thanks mom! I'll see you soon and I promise I'll make dad proud!"
"I know you will... But not if you're late!" The pegasus looked at the clock to see he WAS late.
"AH! Gotta go!" The pegasus gave his mom a hug and kiss on the cheek before he took flight for Canterlot Castle.
So who is that blue pegasus? Well... that's me.
My name is Rampant Storm.
Great name, I know. Not the name I would've picked for me but what can you do? You may not care but while you're here I might as well tell you a little about myself.
I'm the son of a pegasus mother and unicorn father. Out of the two of them, I was closest to my mom, Blur Seeker. She was a former pro racer who retired once I was born to take care of me. Meanwhile my dad, Star Storm, worked as Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard till he retired when I was nine and gave the title to his successor before it was given to the current Captain, Shining Armor.
My dad always wanted me to follow in his footsteps... and it seemed the only thing that could make that stubborn stallion proud of me... So I was off to Canterlot Castle with the goal of joining the royal guard like my dad. But I'm also doing this for me. I honestly have nothing else I could really do. It's strange... I've lived in Canterlot my whole life but had no memories of ever being in a castle that was quite literally a five minute flight from my house.
"There it is..." I said to myself. I landed at the front stairs and looked at the towering structure. "Well… I'm finally here. It's now or never, Storm… Time to make an asshole proud."
So for better or worse… I was going to do the only thing I was any good at… and I had the belief that my journey had started right then and there... and sometimes it sucks to be right.
You asked for feedback, so here I am.
First, the bad. Err, I mean the "could use improvement".
To start, I don't like this intro. I don't see that it serves any point but to say "Hey! I'm gonna go follow my dad's footsteps!".
You don't need a scene for that. That's appears to be already built into the plot and can be touched upon throughout your story. Plus, that's a totally unrealistic thing for the main character to be outright saying. Rarely do people consciously do things to please their parents like this. Typically they think they want to do it for themselves and only come to realize they are really doing it for someone else.
If there's no beef between the Storm and his father then it'd make more sense for him to be doing it for BOTH reasons. But mainly because he wants to do it, not to make his father proud. But it seems like this isn't the case, and that he's literally doing it just to make his dad proud of him. At MINIMUM I'd add in at least a little comment or two from Storm about it. Something like, "Well, Dad, time to make you proud, you old bastard."
I have no idea what color this is. Keep the colors simple. Just say orange, or maybe bright orange, fiery orange, or something else that is easily recognized. Just remember that most readers aren't keeping track of every little physical detail, so you don't need to go crazy on it.
This is kind of an info dump. For one, I don't even know why he's wearing sneakers. He's a pony. Hell, I don't even know why he's wearing any clothes at all. But that's probably just my personal taste and familiarity with nude ponies, so it's not a big deal. (Edit: Totally didn't know this was anthro until I got to chapter 3) The big deal is that no one is going to remember what he's wearing when it's this descriptive and just dumped on them as it is. Try to take it one piece at a time and tie it in with an action or something. Perhaps something like:
Storm adjusted his blue-gray hoodie to keep the wing holes from pinching. (Or some other appropriate action, since hoodies don't really "pinch")
Just say "The pendant was a black tornado attached to a thin fabric strap." There's no need to say "looked like". It makes it sound kind of vague, as if it looks like a black tornado, but not quite.
Also, the first part is a little weird when you start off in "third" person and then you reveal it's Storm talking about himself. It's not really bad, it just comes off as awkward the way it is now. I'd nix it and just start with 1st person right off the bat.
Now, the good!
To start, your grammar is wonderful. I found little errors at all. The only one was:
Just remember that with a "said" tag, you never ever use a period at the end of a characters dialogue. But other than that, I didn't see anything else, so good job.
Since this is so short there really isn't much else to say. Moving on.