Zombie Plan

by Red Letters

Blue and Orange are Nice Colors

Rainbow Dash groaned as she opened her eyes and sat up. "Where am I?" she rasped.

The rainbow Pegasus looked around. Everything around her was bare and white, and the entire room she was in was covered in an odd smelling white tile.

Rainbow Dash stood up and stretched her wings, then turned to get a view of the place.

It was white.

That was about it.

"Well this sure isn't Ponyville," Rainbow Dash said.

The pony nearly jumped out of her skin when a voice came on the announcer in the room. A very robotic yet feminine...something...spoke on the radio, "Welcome to the Aperture Science Portal Training Test Chambers. The portals will open and you will begin testing.

"Testing will begin in three...two...one."

There was a 'blorp' sound as the wall seemed to shift and open up. The hole that now lined the white tiles of one side of the wall was circled in a bluish pulse of light.

Rainbow Dash eyed the portal. "What in Celestia's Mane is that?"

Yet Rainbow was no coward. She was brave. And in her thoughtless bravery, Rainbow Dash leapt through the portal.

Safely on the other sound, R.D. turned around. "Woah," she said.

She was now in an entirely different room. Behind her, there was another hole warping the fabric of the white tiles, showing the room that she had just been in. It was lined with an orangish glow.

"Cool!" Rainbow Dash said, turning away from the portal. She walked over to the chamber.

Not watching what was happening, an enormous block came from the ceiling and landed straight on R.D.'s head.

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash shouted in her raspy voice. She looked up and saw an enormous tube coming out of the ceiling.

The robotic voice came on again, this time starting with a sigh. "Button testing and cubes are a vital part of every portal experiment, and it is vital to be able to...ah, what the heck-" the transmission stopped.

Rainbow Dash turned and saw a button lying on the floor, and, coming from the button, a trail of lights in the tile leading to a door in the wall.

"Simple enough," the rainbow pony said, grabbing the cube with her teeth and her hooves and carrying it onto the button. She placed it on the button, and the door opened.

Rainbow Dash walked through the door.

The room was dark, unlike the hospital-like blinding light of the other rooms.

"H-hello?" Rainbow Dash called.

Two enormous glowing eyes peered out of the darkness.

Rainbow Dash stepped back a bit. "Uhhh..."

A pale claw stepped forward, entering the light. There was a guttural noise coming from the monster that resembled growling.

"Not one of these things," the feminine voice on the announcer said. There was a burst of light, and Rainbow Dash watched for the briefest second as a pale, ape-like, completely hairless, tiny creature ran from the light into a hole in one of the panels.

Rainbow Dash exhaled. "Uhhhh..."

The female robotic voice came up again. "You know, I didn't even care about the fact that there are Morlocks running about my entire laboratory, but the fact that a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane is trying to go through my test chambers is just too much. Ha. Ha."

"Hello?" Rainbow Dash called. "Who are you?"

"I run this Testing Facility," the robot said. "And how did you get in here? I've been testing with robots only since...that incident...stupid potatoes. And now I have a laboratory running rampant with creatures that shouldn't even exist. How nice is that?"

"I don-"

"I'm too lazy for you to go through all these chambers, so I'm just going to give you the dual portal device and let you go through the main chambers. How does that sound?"

Rainbow Dash stuttered. "Uh-"

"Main testing in three...two...one..."

One of the tiles in the wall moved, and out from behind it came an arm with a device in it. Rainbow Dash trotted over and grabbed it, placing it on her hooves.

It was sort of like a gun, except it was sleek and white. There was some sort of advanced technological rig-a-ma-role going on at the tip of it, and one of the three prongs that sprouted from this technological rig-a-ma-role slightly smelled of potatoes.

Rainbow Dash accidentally pressed one of the buttons, and the wall across from her suddenly had a large oval of swirling orange light on it.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow, then aimed at another wall and fired the other trigger.

There was now a fully functioning portal. Rainbow Dash could look through it at herself, and walk through it.

Rainbow Dash's mind imploded.

Not literally. That'd be kind of tragic.

Rainbow Dash walked through the open door and entered an elevator.

The doors shut behind her, barely fitting her length. She almost fell over as the elevator descended.

"If it helps," the female voice said, calm and monotone, "I have been getting...passive. So I won't be planning on killing you or anything like that anytime soon. Ha. Ha. As long as you aren't boring. Let's hope you're not boring. Haha."

Rainbow Dash groaned upon figuring out that the cubes didn't go through the Emancipation Grill.

"Then how am I going to get the cube over there?" she asked, firing her portal device at the grill. Nothing happened.

Rainbow Dash watched as a new cube dropped over on the other side of the test chamber, across a series of lasers and turret line-of-sights.

Before the rainbow pony could swear against Celestia's mane, she heard a shifting noise behind her.

Scared of the Mor-whatever they had been called.

One of the tiles got kicked down, and a human walked through.

The human was tall and slim, and dressed in elegant nineteenth century clothing. Well, it was elegant when it was made. But after wear, tear, and apparently an unnatural amount of fires, this clothing had seen its fair share of days, and should have been put down. He had unkempt hair at shoulder length, and was holding a shard of glass that had somehow been molded to form a kind of lens as a monocle in front of his left eye.

The human turned and saw Rainbow Dash, and had apparently seen enough weird things in his life to not really care about the fact that a rainbow Pegasus was using portals to navigate a robot AI's test chambers of death.

"You, hello there!" he said with a slight clip in his accent, apparently completely aware that Rainbow Dash could talk.

Rainbow Dash stared at the hairless ape thing. "Uh....hi?"

"Oh, so it does talk! How splendid!" The human ran towards the pony, still holding the shard of glass monocle close to his face, into the Emancipation Grill. As he ran through it, the monocle disintegrated.

The human landed and looked around. "Oh, bloody...!" he said. "I liked that monocle. Ah well. I guess I don't actually need to see out of this eye, huh?"

Rainbow Dash stared at the human.

"Ah! How rude of me." The human outstretched his hand. "I might have had a name before, but I forgot it now, so don't bother trying to remember it cause you don't know it yet. Just call me the Time Traveler."

"O.....kay..."

"And you. You're a talking pony! At least kind of some sort of small equine creature. Did they transplant marshmallow DNA splices in you! You look part marshmallow." He glanced over at R.D.'s wings. "And part bird. And part Rainbow. You see something new every day, don't you?"

"Can I...help you?"

"What was that?" the Time Traveler asked. "Ah, yes. We need to get out of here and I think that we also need to get out of here. Didn't I just say that?" The Time Traveler laughed. "Jumping from the future to the past and then to alternate dimensions really does kind of mess with your head. Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why I'm seeing candy colored ponies. Oh well. You know what they say!"

This statement was followed by an awkward pause. Rainbow Dash glanced over and looked up at the Time Traveler's face, which was now staring rather blankly at the row of lasers and turrets.

"What do they say?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"What?" the Time Traveler said. "Oh. I don't know, I thought you knew. Why would I know what they say? I'm imagining colored ponies." He sniffed and looked back up, and then turned to look at Rainbow Dash again. "Are you my conscious?"

"You're weird, mister."

"I'm not the one who's a Technicolor dream Pegasus."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You were saying about escaping?"

"Oh, yes, precisely!" the Time Traveler said. "I have the perfect plan! Not really."

"And this plan is...?"

Before Rainbow Dash could respond, the Time Traveler grabbed her by the hoof that wasn't wearing a portal device. He leapt through the air, holding a rainbow colored pony in one hand, and kicked open the panel he had come through in the Aperture Science Testing are.

Did I just write that?

The Time Traveler pulled Rainbow Dash into the walkway behind the test chamber right before Rainbow Dash pulled away from him. "Get off of me!"

"I'm sorry," the Time Traveler said. "I thought you wanted to be rescued.

"I-" Right as Rainbow Dash began to talk, the panels they had come through were moved by the robotic arms that held them, closing the only source of light they had.

A guttural growling noise came through the thick, damp air.

"T-T-Time Traveler?" Rainbow Dash asked.

A few bulbous pale eyes peered through the shadows.

"Yes, miss...I didn't get your name."

"Rainbow Dash."

"Yes, miss Reyna Flash?"

A soft and quiet 'tink' on the metal pierced the air like a staccato note of a High E while the orchestra played a low C.

"What are those things?"

"You don't know?" the Time Traveler said, nonchalantly. "Well, I'll show you."

Rainbow Dash was too scared to try to shout out for the human to stop as he pulled a lighter out of his waistcoat and lit it, revealing, not a foot away from them, a pale creature with enormous eyes, screaming at them, its mouth open, baring its sharp and numerous teeth.

Comments

[RedvsBlue327]

Random, these others before me claim.
Well, I look forward to it, once additional hours permit it. I shall see for myself tommorow.
I have seen many kinds of fics, I doubt this will hardly be quite as random in comparison to those previous onces I've encountered.

[IcePony2007]

I'm beginning to think this is a bit random......

BUT IT'S SO AWESOME