My Little Spartan: Or, a Tale of Thundering Hooves

by ChaosKnight13

Brave New World

John stood up, got out of his Chief-shaped crater, and just stared at Pinkie. He punched himself to make sure that he was indeed seeing what he was seeing. Then, he began to lose his shit.

"No! This cannot be! After all this time, over twenty years of fighting and this is how it all ends!? I'm a SOLDIER! I will not interact with such a…a…girly little alien! ARRRRRRH!" The sudden outburst was uncharacteristic for the Spartan. However, he had been through a lot. Plus, he was pretty sure he had never seen such a vivid color like pink before. All these thoughts, however, were suddenly interrupted by the sight of Pinkie bursting into tears.

"H-how could you be so mean," she choked out between sobs. "No one's been this mean since that big bully Discord!" John just stood, watching.

"You know, that was pretty mean." Cortana was pouting. "You totally scared her." Hijacking the MJOLNIR's speakers, she tried consoling the upset pony. "There, there. Chief didn't mean to scare you. I'm his friend, Cortana. If this big scary guy has friends, then surely he isn't all bad, hmm?" Pinkie stopped crying and looked up. However, there were still signs she could spontaneously burst back into tears. Taking note of this, Cortana spoke to John. "You better apologize."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"You might wear this armor, but I can still reroute the MJOLNIR's energy in the form of electric shocks. Anywhere. Anywhere."

"You're evil." John cleared his throat, and looked at Pinkie Pie. "Listen, um, Ms…?"

"Pinkie Pie," came the guarded reply.

"Right. Ahem. Pinkie Pie…I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I was…scary. And monstrous. Will you please…forgive me?" Pinkie didn't reply. John was worried; he was starting to feel sorry for this, dare he think it, cute little creature. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie gave a squeal of delight, and bean prancing about.

"Yes! Yes! I accept your apology! Your friend helped you realize you were being mean, and you listened to her. And you apologized, which is what friends do. See? You're learning! Ooh! Ooh! You have to visit my friends! They'd be soooo happy to meet you! Whattaya say, hmm?" Noting the slight slump of John's shoulders, Pinkie said, "C'mon it'll be fun. If you don't, you'll regret it. I am the star of Cupcakes, after all." Chief barely had any time to react to this when Cortana spoke to him.

"She said cupcakes chief. As in, Cupcakes. Let's go."

"But-"

"No buts!" And with that, she hijacked his speakers once more. "We're ready, Pinkie Pie! Off we go!" And with that, a super soldier entered Ponyville, accompanied by a laughing AI and pony.