Shadows of the past

by WritersShadow

Chapter 1: Being a princess

Shadows of the past

Chapter 1: Being a princess

---

“Is she going to be ok?”, Twilight asked. They were in front of a big door, fully made of white gold. Sapphires and yellow diamonds embellished the door from the top to the bottom. “I've never seen her like that. I'm really worried!”
“I am as well.” Luna told Twilight. “I haven't seen her like this for about one thousand years. It was when her apprentice died.”

After Celestias breakdown, Twilight called for Luna to tell her that her sister was... well actually, Twilight didn't know what Celestia was right now. She didn't say a word. And she only walked when Luna arrived to bring her to her premises. It was a shock, especially for Luna, to see Celestia this way.

“Hold on a second. One of Celestias apprentices died once? How?” Twilight asked. Celestia didn't ever tell her about a dead apprentice. She didn't even tell her about any other apprentices besides herself. “I mean, Celestia is always so cautious. How did she loose somepony so dear to her?”

Luna lowered her head. It was really hard to speak about this theme. But Twilight needed to know anyways , now that she was a princess of Equestria. “It was back when I turned into Nightmare Moon.” Luna answered. Twilight froze. “You... you killed her, Luna?” Twilight questioned on, now with a disbelieving tone. She went a few steps back, as if she feared Luna would turn into some kind of monster and bite her head off right away.

“No I didn't.” Luna finally answered. “I was not the one who killed her. Have you ever asked yourself why Celestia had to abandon the old castle and move to this one?” Luna asked Twilight. Now, when she thought about it, she felt silly. Somepony does not simply abandon a castle of this size. Twilight was concern it took decades to build it. Twilight shook her head.

“Well, of course you don't. Nopony knows why she had to abandon it. Well, Nightmare Moon was everything but squeamish. When she attacked the castle, she did it without any kind of warning.” Luna stated. “And, of course, the castle was more than just secured. It was a fortress, build to withstand the strongest magic we knew then: Discords magic. Because of that, there were several magical seals, able to instantly stop any kind of magic cast near them.”

“However, Nightmare Moon was somehow different. She wielded an almost unlimited amount of magic. I still don't know where this magic came from. But she just overpowered these seals.”
“Overpowered?” Twilight asked. “How can magic seals be overpowered? It is the most persistent magic I know. Some of them are able to stay intact for centuries or even millennia.”

“They can only take a limited amount of magic at a time. And Nightmare Moon just blew them like balloons. It was incredible. Those seals, able to keep Discord out no century ago, blown by an normal alicorn. The guards panicked and ran everywhere. The only one who stayed when everypony else was already gone was Celestias apprentice. The building however was destabilized because of the enormous amount of magic that rested in those seals. It still rests in them.”

“What happened next?” Twilight asked. She was not only scared, but also curious. Maybe what happened back then would help her understand what happened to Celestia no hour ago.

“I... I don't remember. It was shortly before Celestia used the Elements of Harmony to stop Nightmare Moon... to stop... me.” Lunas voice became a whispering as she spoke the last words.
“So how do you know her apprentice died back then, if you don't know what happened back then?” Twilight was confused.
“It's not that I don't remember anything. It's just that I don't remember everything. I still remember this expression on her face. And I remember her apprentice, lying on the ground, not moving, not breathing... not alive.” The last words felt heavy like stones for Luna.

“Princess... It wasn't your fault what happened back there. Nopony blames you for what happened in the past.” Twilight said. “But still,” her curiosity got the best of her, “how do you know it wasn't you who killed her?”
“Because she already lay there before I arrived at the throne hall.” Twilight froze.

Thoughts bounced around in her head. “What happened back there?” one asked. “Celestia would never hurt her apprentice!” another one stated. “Why was she already lying there when Luna arrived?”,”Why didn't she tell me anything about this?”,”Who was she?”. Suddenly, one thought showed up, Twilight didn't want to think. A thought that hit her as hard as those feeling one hour ago in the gala hall.

“What if Celestia herself had something to do with what happened to her apprentice?”

The white-gold-door opened.

“Princess Sparkle, Princess Celestia wants to see you.” one of Celestias royal guardians said as he opened the door.
“Me? Is she sure she doesn't want to talk to Luna first?” Twilight asked.
“No. She asked for you and you alone.”
“Go ahead Twilight. It surely has something to do with what happened in the gala hall.” Luna told Twilight. She nodded.

---

The guardian guided her trough a long corridor. There were several portrayals of famous unicorn, pegasi and earth ponies. Most of them were unknown to Twilight, but there was one she remembered: It was Starswirl the bearded. Right beside him, there was another painting.

It showed a deep blue unicorn mare with a black mane, red eyes and a strange cutie mark: It showed a mirror and on one side of the mirror, the “outer” side, there was a violet blast of magic. However, on the other side, the “inner” side of the mirror there was the same magic blast, but instead of violet it was blood red. On the golden sign below it was the unicorns name written in silver letters: Shadow Mirror.

Twilight was sure that she had never seen this mare before, but it felt like she knew who it was she was looking at. It felt like she knew this mare.

They reached a door, once again all made of white gold. The guard bent down and said: “Go in as you please, your majesty.” It felt strange to be titled 'majesty'. Twilight went in at an instant.

Celestia, who had taken off her dress, was inside of the room she just entered. It was a very big room. The ceiling was white and there was a sun made of yellow diamonds in the middle of it. The walls were also white, but they had yellow stripes that looked like sunrays. In the middle of the room, there was a big round table, also white, with a painting that portrayed Celestias cutie mark. Twilight had never been here before.

“You wanted to see me, Princess?” Twilight asked. “Are you okay?”
“I'm not okay, Twilight. Everything is wrong. Everything is twisted and turned.” Celestia answered. She sounded not only serious, but also scared.

Celestia had to be confused. She just had to. Twilight knew Celestia, and this wasn't a thing she would say. Especially not this way. It sounded more like … well it sounded like Twilight herself.
But what if she wasn't confused? What if Celestia just knew something Twilight didn't? The thought scared Twilight.

“Princess?” Twilight said, unsure whether Celestia even listened. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes there is a thing. Tell the guard I need the following books: 'The Elements of Harmony: A reference guide', 'Magical seals', 'Future spells' and 'Dream manipulation spells'.”
“What do you want with those? They have nothing in common.” Twilight asked out of her curiosity.
“There's no time for questions, Twilight! There's no time!” Celestia said hastily. Her expression became worse every single second.

“Princess Celestia! Calm down! We are all worried already!” Twilight said with all the definiteness she had. It was strange that she was telling Celestia to calm down. Usually, it was Twilight who freaked out and Celestia was the one to comfort her. But now, it was reversed.

Celestia stopped walking around. She looked at Twilight as if she just insulted her. Then, after some seconds of tension, her expression became less hastily. She took a deep breath and then said:“You are right Twilight. I am so sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize, princess.” Twilight told her. “Now, could you please tell me what happened back there in the gala hall? You suddenly looked like you saw a ghost or something similar.”

“Oh, nothing important. Seemingly I simply lost my nerves. You know, it's not a common thing for unicorns to ascend to alicorns and become a new princess of Equestria.” Celestia stated.

She was lying. Twilight felt it. Something worried her. Something... scared her. The most powerful being in all of Equestria, scared by something. But right now, she knew she didn't want to know what happened. The thought that there was something able to scare Celestia... this thought alone was more than Twilight could take in one day. She really didn't want to know what it was. Besides, Celestia seemingly didn't want to tell her about what just happened and so Twilight saw little sense in trying to find out. But her curiosity was just too strong to just let this just rest so easy.

“Great. But still, there's something I'd like to ask you.” Twilight said. “When you lost your nerves, I felt something strange was about to happen. I felt something was wrong. Can alicorns transfer their emotions?”
Celestias expression once again became worried and hasty, but this time she tried to hide it. It did not work out as Celestia had thought but at least she tried her best.
“Usually not. But maybe you are more sensitive than we are because you just became an alicorn. Alicorns are so rare that nopony really knows in which ways it affects the pony that is ascending.” Celestia said.

To Twilight, it felt like Celestia was trying to hide something. She tried to think what it could be. But her thoughts were interrupted as Celestia started to speak again.
“If I'm right, I haven't told you why I called for you yet. I have something really important to tell you. It's about what you just became. It's about why this all happened. And I hope it will answer some of the questions you sure have.”

Twilight was surprised. She expected a crisis. Some kind disaster. Some explanation why Celestias behavior at the banquet was so strange. But still, she was excited. She still had so many questions about her destiny, about what would happen next.
“Well then start please.” Twilight said. She tried to hide it but she was almost bursting. But then one thought crossed her mind and it couldn't wait to be spoken.
“Wait, we should tell Luna and the others that you are fine first. They must be terribly worried.”
“You are right Twilight. This nearly slipped my mind. I'll send a guard right away to tell them I'm fine. But right now, you are my top priority.” Celestia said.

Twilight was not sure what to think about this. Sure, she was glad to have some time with her mentor. But she was behaving so strange right now. It was not like her to just send a guard. It was not like her to freak out. And it was not like her to call for her student while she was freaking out.

“Are you sure you are okay?” Twilight asked. The concern in her voice had become obvious.

---

“Twilight knows it. Twilight knows something is wrong... how couldn't she? She even sensed when Cadence was replaced by Crysalis.” Celestia thought. “But I can't tell her right now. It is just the wrong time to tell her. Why'd I even think about telling her right away? I need something to distract her or it will end in me telling her what I think. She is already worried and uncertain about what will happen.”

“If I'm right, I haven't told you why I called for you yet.” Celestia finally stated. “I have something really important to tell you. It's about what you just became. It's about why this all happened. And I hope it will answer some of the questions you sure have.”

Celestia was sure this would work. She was fully aware Twilight was suspicious of her behavior. But she also knew that the only way to slip her curiosity, was to make her curious about another thing. Twilights eyes widened.
“Well then start please.” Twilight said. Her voice was trembling with excitement. It was like someone took something heavy off her chest. She distracted Twilight. Now she needed something to distract her some more so she could buy some time to find out what just happened. But then, Twilight opened her mouth again.

“Wait, we should tell Luna and the others that you are fine first. They must be terribly worried.”
The first word almost startled Celestia to death. She almost thought Twilight saw that she just tried to distract her. Thank goodness she didn't.
“You are right Twilight. This nearly slipped my mind. I'll send a guard right away to tell them I'm fine. But right now, you are my top priority.” Celestia said. This time she managed to hide her emotions. But then she saw how Twilight frowned.
“Are you sure you are okay?” Twilight asked with so much concern in her voice that Celestia was unable to just ignore it.

“Well... I think so. But you may be right. I should go and rest a little bit. Please go back to Luna and tell her she may introduce you to your new life as a princess. I will join you as soon as I'm done resting.” Celestia said.

Maybe this way she could buy some time to find out what was happening. Luna would take her through half Equestria in order to explain what I means to be a princess.

“Are you sure you don't want at least see Luna and tell her you are okay yourself? She is your sister after all and I bet she's really worried.” Twilight asked.
“Just go and tell her I'm fine. Please Twilight. I'm really exhausted.” Celestia said.

---

Luna was terrified. “Celestia... what could scare you this way?” the silently asked herself. “Princess Luna!” she heard someone calling her. She turned her head and saw Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Fluttershy gallop down the corridor,
“Hello.” Luna replied a little dryly. She didn't know why they were here and what they wanted.
“Well, then let's just ask them” she thought.

“What are you all doing here? Don't you enjoy the banquet?” Luna asked.
“Yes!” Rarity squeaked. At the same time Applejack stated “No...” It was a strange situation. Rarity and Applejack looked at each other, then giggled a little bit and then again looked at Luna. “We just wanted to come and ask how the princess feels. We heard something happened and that she froze in the middle of the banquet.” Fluttershy said. There was some serious concern in her voice... Well, somehow she always sounded like she was concerned so Luna was unable to differentiate whether it was her 'natural' concern or normal concern.

“And where's Twilight? She was there when Celestia froze. Maybe she knows more.” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Uhh, uhh! I was there, too! And you didn't ask me anything! Ask me, ask me! Come on Dashie, please ask me, ask me!”
It seemed like Pinkie Pie was still under the influence of all the sugar she just ate. Rainbow Dashes face became a frown. Luna couldn't help but to smile a little bit. It was really funny to watch this right now. It was good to see that Pinkie stayed Pinkie, no matter how serious the situation seemed to be. But Luna doubted Pinkie really got how serious the situation had to be.

“So, what did you see, Pinkie Pie?” Luna asked. Pinkie opened her mouth wide in enthusiasm, just to close it once again and to change her excited face to a questioning face. “Well... I don't know. She just froze. Nothing else.” Pinkie stated. She began to smile again.
Luna already knew Pinkie Pie was random, but this was beyond everything she was told. This pony bounced from happy to confused to happy in the matter of seconds. But it was very funny to watch.
“We already knew that, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash said. She sounded annoyed. Luna giggled. This was hilarious.

“Celestia would like this dialogue. She's always up for something so...” but her thought ended as fast as it started. “Celestia!” Luna was hit by the worry she just thought about no minute ago. Her face once again became serious. The other five also changed their expressions. They were surprised of Lunas reaction and had questioning expressions in their faces.
“So, how's Celestia? And where's Twilight?” Applejack asked.

“Twilight just went to meet Celestia. I don't know how she is however.” Luna stated.
“But, if Twilight is talking to her right now, why are you still here?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, why am I here? Why am I not with Celestia? What happened she doesn't want me to know about?” Luna thought.

The door made of white gold opened. The one who opened it and the one just joining them was Twilight.
“Twilight!” the five ponies in front of Luna shouted out. Twilight looked like she was surprised. to see them.
“How's Princess Celestia. Will she be okay? We are so worried.” Fluttershy said. Twilight opened her mouth to answer, closed her eyes and stayed this way a few seconds. It looked strange.

When she opened her eyes she said: “Celestia is fine. She just is very excited about my coronation and all. Seems like I'm not the only one who is really shocked by my ascension.”
She turned her head to Luna. “Princess, can we talk a few seconds? Alone?”
The faces of the other five became a frown. “Oh come on! We want to know what happened, too!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
“Nothing happened! It has nothing to do with Celestia!” Twilight stated. Her volume and her tone sounded unfitting... aggressive. Suddenly Twilight realized that she just shouted at her five very best friends. Her eyes widened.

“I'm very sorry. I.. I'm just very stressed right now and then this story with Celestia loosing her nerves...”
“It's okay sugarcube. We all know how ya feel. We'll just leave ya and the princess alone.” Applejack said. Twilight nodded. “Thank you.” she said as the five others departed.

“You weren't lying, were you? The thing you want to talk about has nothing to do with Celestia, has it?” Luna asked. She was curious what just happened in there. It was not like Twilight to shout at her friends for no reason.
“Well, loosely.” Twilight said. “She wants you to introduce me to my rights and duties as a princess.”
“Of course! I'm surprised we forgot about this until now. We'll begin right away!” Luna turned to walk.

“Wait Luna...”

Luna froze. So there was something else. “What is it, Twilight?” she said with a very serious voice.
“Celestia seems not to be herself right now. You should first go talk to her. She was... confused when I talked to her. I never saw her like that before.” There was very much concern in her voice.
“Seems like it was not only 'Celestia loosing her nerves and now being unable to introduce you to your life as a princess' in there. I'll talk to her right away. Thank you Twilight. Can you wait here a few minutes?” Luna asked.
Twilight nodded.

---

“Dammit, how did he do it?” Celestia asked herself. She was still in the room she met Twilight in, using the big round table as shelf for all the books her guards just brought her. 'The Elements of Harmony: A reference guide', 'Magical seals', 'Future spells' ,'Dream manipulation spells', none of them had a clue in it how her former student was able to still be alive. None of them was able to explain why he still was able to cast magic.

“Sister, what's going on in here?”
This sentence startled Celestia. She wasn't expecting anypony right now to interrupt her. She even told her guard to keep everypony, no matter who it was, out of this room. Seemingly, her guard failed. She turned her head.
She saw Luna, still wearing the same dress she was wearing since the coronation started, standing in the door. There was unspeakable worry in her eyes.

“Oh, hello sister. I didn't expect to see you. Didn't Twilight tell you to introduce her to her new life as princess?” Celestia asked, trying to distract Luna like she did with Twilight.
“She indeed did. But this was not the only thing she told me.” Celestia froze. “And she was right. You aren't yourself right now. The guard out there tried to stop me from going in here. He said, it was your advise. What happened there in the hall, Celestia? What scares you?” Luna asked. Her voice told Celestia, she was dead serious.

So the distraction didn't work the way she imagined. Twilight still was concerned about her. And she told Luna. Of course she told Luna. Who would be a better choice to help Celestia calm down?

“Scare me? Sister please, don't be silly! Can you imagine something right now that would scare me? Discord has become a good guy, you have left your past behind and all of Equestria is happy. What could scare me right now?” Celestia asked.
“That's what I'm asking you. I may not know what happened back in the gala hall and I may not know what it is you try to hide. But I know you Celestia. I know you're scared. And I know, it has something to do with what happened at the banquet. So tell me sister. You know, you can only hide it until you fall asleep.”

Celestia sighed. It was true. Luna was the princess of the night and therefor she was able to not only join dreams but also form them. And Celestia knew, she wouldn't be able to keep this out of her dreams.

“Okay Luna, I will tell you what happened. But not now. I just have to find out whether I'm just becoming mad. What I saw back in the hall... is impossible. There's no way it was real. But if it was...”
“Sister, tell me!” Luna interrupted her. However, Celestia seemed not to care.
“... real it may be one of the biggest threads ever made against Equestria. Bigger than Discord. Bigger than Nightmare Moon. Even bigger than...”

“CELESTIA!” Luna shouted. Celestia stopped talking. She knew, she wouldn't be able to distract Luna. Her sister would never leave before she got her answer.
“Okay Luna, I'll tell you what I know. Or at least, what I think I know.”
Luna sat down. “I'm listening.”

Celestia took a deep breath and opened her mouth

---

“I really hope she is fine. I'm so worried.” Fluttershy said. They just went back to the gala hall and yet, they still were walking. Canterlot Castle was just so incredibly big.
“Yes we all hope so my dear.” Rarity stated.
“Yes we do, but would you please stop repeating over and over again? This is the sixth time you tell us how worried you are about Celestia, Fluttershy! We got it!” Rainbow Dash said.
“Oh come on Dashie, repetitions make things more fun! Like jokes! The more often you repeat telling them to somepony, the more ponies laugh in the end! Or like cake! The more often you repeat to eat one, the more delicious the next cake becomes! Uhh, uhh! Or like...”
“Well I think we all understand what you want to tell us, my dear.” Rarity interrupted Pinkie Pie.

They finally arrived the door that led back into the gala hall. But none of them wanted to go back in right now. It was like there still was something they needed to do. But none of them was able to imagine what it was. Then, suddenly, Applejack opened her mouth.
“Ya all know I'm very worried about the princess. But has any of ya all noticed Twilight didn't look good, too?”

None of them said anything. It was obvious, but yet nopony noted it. Twilight looked even more worried and even more confused than back then when she thought Celestia may send her back to magic kindergarten because she was unable to find a friendship problem to solve. Somehow they felt locked out by the princesses, including Twilight. They knew something and seemingly didn't want to tell them. It was not something new that Celestia or Luna were secretive. But Twilight was their friend and usually told them always how she felt and what happened.

“We should go back and talk to her right now! Maybe she needs our help with something!” Rainbow Dash stated. The other four nodded. Well, there were three other ponies nodding. Pinkie Pie was missing. “Where did Pinkie go? And when did she go?” Rainbow asked. “Wait, Pinkie is gone? Where is she?” Fluttershy asked. As if she was waiting for it, a door next to them opened. Pinkie Pie went through, everypony stared at her.

“What? I needed to go to the little fillies room! Now, why are you all still standing here? Shouldn't we move to talk to Twilight?” She said. “Right!” Applejack said. The all turned and began to gallop down the corridor they just left.

---

Twilight just stood there. She didn't know how to judge this situation. On the one hoof, she would finally be introduced to her new life. She would finally find out how it would go on, what changed and what didn't change, what she would have to leave behind and what would stay at her side. On the other hoof, there was something wrong about all this. She sensed it. She was already caught in her thoughts when something pulled her out of them. It was galloping.

“Why is there so much traffic in here?” she thought. She turned her head to see her friends, once again in hurry to get here and once again worried. She sighed.

“Girls, I already told you, Celestia is fine. There's nothing to worry about.” she said as they arrived.
“Duh, were not here because of Celestia!” Pinkie Pie stated. Twilights expression reflected her confusion.
“That's right sugarcube. We are here because of you.” Applejack said.

“Because of me? But, why'd you come back for me? I mean, it's not like I'm in danger or something.” Twilight told them. Then Rainbow Dash opened her mouth: “Yes you are! You aren't yourself right now! Usually you tell us when you are worried. And usually you tell us whenever you need our help!”

“I don't need your help!” Twilight exclaimed. She really thought so.
“Darling, we can clearly see that you do. Look, we care for you. And we know you. And right now we can also see clearly that you are worried and confused. Even if you don't want to admit it, you are!” Rarity stated.

She was right. Twilight never felt so confused. She never was so worried. She just wasn't ready to admit it right now. Neither to her friends nor to herself. But now she was forced to admit it.

Twilight stood there a few seconds, thinking about what Rarity just said.. She just realized how she felt. She felt lonely, like when Discord turned all her friends personalities into their opposite. She felt confused like when she was sent to the crystal empire to save it. And she felt even more worried than she felt when she thought she would be sent back to magic kindergarten. All the overwhelming emotions she pushed away since she became an alicorn caught up with her this moment. Every concern she had caught up with her.

“...you're right Rarity. I need your help. I don't know who I am supposed to be. I don't know who I will be.” Tears poured out of her eyes. “Sugarcube, there's no need to weep. We are all here.” Applejack said.

“Don't you realize? I just became a princess! Everything will change! EVERYTHING! What if I'm forced to move away from Ponyville? What if I'm forced to travel all over Equestria all the time in order to fulfill my duties as a princess? What if I'm...” Twilight was caught in thoughts blacker than the deepest night.
“...forced to leave us?” Rainbow Dash finished her sentence. Twilight started sobbing.

“Twilight, there will never be a thing, never, that could tear you apart from us. Even if Discord restores his rule and even if there's chocolate rain, exploding glassworks and flying houses all over Equestria, we will still be at your side. And that's were we will stay. Princess or not. We will always be there for you.”
“Beautifully said, Rarity.” Fluttershy whispered.

“You still don't understand, do you? I know I will always be able to have confidence in you, you all. But what if you can't have the same in me? What if I can't be there for you? What if something terrible happens and what if I'm not there then? I could never forgive myself...” Twilight sobbed.

“Twilight, such a thing will never happen!”
It wasn't the voice of one of her friends saying this. It was Lunas. Twilight turned her head and looked right into Lunas eyes. They looked at her as well, strong and reassuring. Twilight stopped weeping.

“Being a princess means having many duties. And you are right, sometimes they will take you to the very end of Equestria. But being a princess does not mean that you have to abandon your friends! It does not mean that you have to give up everything you love. And it surely doesn't mean that you have to be finished with your past.”

Twilight was still sobbing, but Lunas reassuring eyes strengthened her. “Seems like you should finally introduce me.” Twilight finally said. Luna nodded. “Can my friends come with us?”
“I sure hope they do. It affects them just as much as it affects you.” Luna answered.

A weak smile showed up on Twilights face. “Come on. This is the wrong place to talk about a topic of this grade of matter.” Luna said.

---

They just had moved to the castle grounds. Twilight walked at Lunas side, her friends right behind her. Nopony had said anything since they had departed the castle. Finally, Luna opened her mouth to speak.
“So Twilight, let me first introduce you to your rights as a princess.”

“Let me start with the one that may be the most important for you: You can choose where you want to live yourself. Nopony will force you to live where you don't want to live. You can stay in Ponyville if you wish so.”

Twilight couldn't help it. She rushed towards Luna and hugged her. “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!” Luna seemed to be very surprised by this reaction. However, after a few seconds, she hugged Twilight back.
“No need to thank me.” she stated.

It was like someone took all her worries, all her doubts and burned them. Twilight felt way better now. But...

“What about my duties? You said they could take me to the very end of Equestria. Does this mean I will have to leave my friends whenever there is a crisis somewhere?” Twilight asked, unsure whether she wanted to hear the answer.
“Yes, this is what it means.” Luna said. Twilight began to sob again. But before she was able to really start, Luna went on.
“BUT there's one thing that could help you concerning this point. Every princess has command over the whole equestrian armed forces. But there are also the royal guards, special ponies, selected by the princess they serve. They are the last defense of a princess, the closest adviser and in your case they could be your very best friends.”

“You mean I will not leave them? They will be able to come with me wherever I go?” Twilight asked. She was excited. She didn't know this was possible.
“This is exactly what I mean. The job allows them to do whatever they want while you are home and to follow you whenever you have to fulfill your royal duties. And the payment is decent, so they can easily cover costs that result in their absence. But maybe you should ask them yourself.”

Twilight turned to her friends. She was almost bursting. All her worries vanished. “Would you want to become my royal guards? Would you want to follow me everywhere I go? And would you...” Twilight faltered. "...would you help me to stay who I am?"
“Sure do, Twilight!”
“Of course my dear!”
“I'd be honored...”
“Yes! This is gonna be sooo awesome!”
“I would be loko in my coco to say no! It's gonna be fuuuuuun!”

Twilight couldn't help. She grinned from ear to ear.
“Seems like this is settled. Now let's talk about your duties.” Luna noted.
“You'll have to inform us about everything you do as a princess. This does not include things you do as Twilight Sparkle. You only need to report to us if you do it officially as princess of Equestria.”

“Further on, you, as a princess of Equestria, are a guardian of this land. Your highest duty is to protect it from everything that's trying to afflict harm to it. But you are used to this duty if my memory isn't deceiving me.” Luna smiled.
“And your last duty is to be a mediator whenever it's needed. This is the duty that will take most of your time as princess.” Her face became a grimace. “Those politicians just don't get along. You would be surprised how annoying this last duty can be at some times!”

Everypony laughed.
"Talking about politicians, maybe we should attend the banquet again." Rarity said.

---

Celestia was at her end. None of the books she knew had the answer to her questions. None of them told her how this was possible. None of them...

“So, you haven't found anything, have you?” Celestia closed her eyes.
“It would be strange if you would ever find anything.” the voice said. However, it was not the same voice she heard in the gala hall.
“You are right, I haven't found anything. And I already knew I wouldn't find anything before I started to search. If I had found anything about this, it would've told me that I'm just getting mad.” Celestia stated.
“What a strange way to say that this is reality. But why does the fact that you haven't found anything ensure you that this is real?” the voice asked.

“This is beyond my imagination. And this is far beyond everything somepony ever wrote down. So it has to be reality if my mind is unable to think this up.” Celestia said.
“Sounds logical to me. But I'm just the soul of somepony that used to live thousand years ago.”
“You know you are way more to me. And you know you never were just somepony. You are the reason I can stand here today. You are the reason I was able to beat Nightmare Moon. Your sacrifice however was way too high.”

“It was my decision Celestia. And it was you who gave me the possibility to choose my own destiny. This is what I've chosen. And I would choose this again if I had to.”
“But it was my fault you had to make this decision! It was my fault you had to choose whether you saved your own or my life. And you've chosen my life. I wasn't worth it.” Celestia said, her eyes still closed. One lonely tear ran down her cheek.

“It was a old debt I still had to pay. And you have done way more good to this land than I ever could. I don't regret what I did, Celestia. Neither should you.”
“But I do regret what I did! I made so many mistakes! So many died because of my decisions... So many that could still live if I had not been born. So many...”
“Snap out of it, Celestia! It wasn't your fault. Nopony blamed you back then and nopony blames you right now!”
“You know this is wrong.” Celestia started to weep. “You know who haunts me. And you know that he has every reason to do so. And you know that every single word he said is true. I'm not worth the love of those ponies. I'm not worth this throne... I'm not worth to live...” Celestia sobbed.

“You know this is not true, Celestia! Maybe you made mistakes, but everypony does! Maybe you once were what some may call guilty, but you changed! Celestia, there were mistakes worse than yours. But those ponies don't need to live with their mistakes forever. They just die some day. But you will have to live forever and you will have to protect this beautiful land until it declines. And then you'll have to protect the land that comes after. Your destiny is far from being fulfilled! You are the guardian of the sun after all.”

“I know who I am. And I know what I've done. And you know as well. How can I claim to fulfill my destiny if I already failed hundreds of times in the past? How can I claim to be worth this throne if I only use it as a disguise?”
“You don't claim to fulfill your destiny, you choose to do so. And you don't claim to be worth this throne. You made yourself worth it.”

“If you say so... But if I'm worth it, why is there this pain? Why am I unable to get over my past sins? Why does my past haunt me? I know only one thing: I'm not worth anything but this pain. I'm not worth anything but this eternal agony.”

“It's not your past hurting you, Celestia. It's yourself. And it's not your past haunting you. It's your conscience. And that tells you that you are worth this throne. It tells you that you are worth this life. It tells you that you are worth this love.”
“How?” Celestia asked. “How can pain tell me that my life is worth living? How can guilt tell me that my sins may be forgiven?”

“They can tell you because you are able to listen to them. They can tell you because you are willing to listen to them. The monster you think you are wouldn't. The monster you think you are would just go on. The monster you think you are wouldn't dare to listen.”

Celestia opened her eyes. It was quiet. After a few seconds, the voice once again spoke.

“I have to go now Celestia. My time is up. I am finally allowed to go. I am finally free...”
“Thank you... Shadow Mirror...” Celestia whispered.

Author's Note:

Feel free to suggest if somepony is out of character, something seems unfitting or if you just don't like something! It will help me to do better in the next chapter.