Chapter 1: President Sparkle
/-----------------------------
// Story: Out of the Book Club
// Chapter: Chapter 1: President Sparkle
// Author: ThatOneYellowPony
//-----------------------------
You didn’t have to tell Twilight Sparkle twice that Magic Kindergarten sucked. She had made that discovery a long time ago, approximately 10 seconds flat after her very first day, where a smelly colt poured glue in her hair. Making friends was something the awkward pony found very difficult. By that age she could solve Rubik’s cubes, derive most all functions of ‘X’, and read Old Equish texts. She was unfortunate enough to have what she called the “T” factor; T for Twilight. Somehow this innate something made her a target for teasing. Her social abilities were suffering, and no matter what she tried the “T” factor just wouldn’t go away. On and on she went, hoping she could solve this problem and at last gain just one friend who wasn’t also her brother. No such solution came. Eventually she accepted that nopony cared and moved on with her sad, sad life. At least until an act of fate blessed her with five incredible mares. She liked to call them her ‘besties foreversies’, though never aloud.
But before our purple protagonist gave up on Magic Kindergarten, there was one thing that kept her fire alive: clubs. Clubs seemed perfect. They were virtually designed to stick compatible ponies together with the express interest of making meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, though she joined many clubs, things would never work out for the unicorn. She joined a gardening club with two ponies, one of whom thought his front lawn counted, but the group disbanded from lack of interest. She was kicked out of the Alicorn Club seconds after joining, and other times she had trouble determining just what would be ‘overdoing it’. She came to her Daring Do club’s first meeting in full cosplay and having just brushed up on the full saga, before realizing that most of the other members had perhaps read a single book. She was laughed at horribly. This pattern continued through Magic Grade School, where she left most of her clubs with a chorus of laughter and tears, all because she was trying too hard. An Applied Physics Club started and she was the only pony to show. What was the point of that? And how could nopony show? Didn’t somepony have to start the club in the first place? It was as though the club was created from the universes sheer will to remind everypony that Twilight was tragically different. Tragically nerdy. Tragically alone.
But now it was the future! Or rather the present, which is the past’s future as Twilight would have happily pointed out, and she had decided to give the club thing one last shot. Sure, she was out of formal magical education, and sure, she now had five ponies permanently residing in her heart, but those were all the more reason to be bold. This time she had turned the tables. This time she had founded the club and organized it rigidly. She had called it the Ponyville Reader’s Club, while most simply called it the ‘Book Club’.
“Ahem” she coughed delicately as she stepped up to the podium. Their meetings took place on Thursdays, in Pinkie Pie’s room. She wasn’t a reader, but she loved to just ‘pop-in’ with sweets and treats. Twilight had brought her podium, and arranged Pinkie’s bed and some of the Cakes’ diner chairs in a semi-circle around her.
“It has been precisely one week since our last meeting. I trust you all have read the books you’ve selected?” said Twilight. The ponies before generally nodded, while a few avoided her gaze. “Great! Now it looks like we have a pony or two new with us here tonight, so I thought we’d circle about and introduce ourselves. We could even make it fun! Say your name and tell us about what you like to read!” she smiled sweetly. She was finally about to be a part of a real club! And she’d get to talk about books, her very most favoritest thing!
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell anypony here my name,” blushed the Mayor. Nopony pointed out that Ponyville was small enough that almost everypony in attendance already knew the names of everypony else in attendance. “My favorite stories are about detectives” she said quite proudly. The book she had in her saddlebag was called Fifty Manes of Grey, and Twilight was all but certain the mayor hadn’t cracked open the cover.
“M’ Dash,” said Rainbow Dash, laying across Pinkie’s bed with one of the Daring Do books as her pillow “And I brought Daring Do cause she and I are both pretty tough chicks” she said without sitting up.
You mean you brought Daring Do because they’re the only things you read, thought Twilight. She liked the adventurous pony too, don’t get her wrong, but there’s only so much discussion to be had about Do’s awesomeness. If only she could get Dash to try something new, like the Unicorn Games or Good Filly Bad Filly.
“My name’s Mr. Cake” said Mrs. Cake.
“And my name’s Mrs. Cake” said Mr. Cake.
They both giggled at their clearly setup joke. Everypony, save for Dash, laughed politely even though it was that special kind of humor only funny to couples and preschoolers.
“I don’t get a lot of time to read, what with the twins and all, but I usually stick to culinary books. Sometimes I read other things but only if Oprahoof Winfurry suggests them to me” said Mrs. Cake.
“I like those books you’re supposed to read in the outhouse, the ones with sports trivia and funny articles. They even change the length of articles so you can pick one to match how long you’re in for” explained Mr. Cake. Everypony except for his wife just kind of stared at him. “Hey that’s literature!” he huffed in defense, though his face was blushing beyond Applejack hue.
“I’MPINKIEPIEANDEVENTHOUGHI’MNOTPARTOFTHISILOOOOVETHESEGETTINGTOKNOWYOUTHINGS” Pinkie Pie’s head burst forth through the wood floor. “I don’t really read books at all but I ate a classical fantasy once. It wasn’t very good.” she had managed every word before her head disappeared from whence it came, leaving no evidence of her visit.
“I’m Sweetie Belle,” said newcomer Sweetie Belle “And I’ve been reading ever since I fell off Scootaloo’s Scooter and broke my leg.” She indicated her fat blue cast.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Twilight with genuine empathy. “What books?”
“Daring Do!” she said with chipper enthusiasm.
“Oh” said Twilight, barely hiding her disappointment.
The other newcomer was Scootaloo, who sat beside Sweetie trying to look cool for Dash.
“I’m Scootaloo Von Awesome but my friends call me Scootaloo. I like to read-” she froze for a moment. She was really only here because Dash was, but she had no idea what genre would make her sound as radical as possible. In a panic she spat out the first thing she could think of “Romance!”
She blushed instantly. Wow. Romance. Way. To. Go.
“Well that’s everypony here! The Mayor, the Cakes, Dash, Scootaloo, and Sweetie. My name’s Twilight Sparkle and I read any and all manners of books. This week I decided to give a quick read through of one of my favorites: ‘Saddle Up!’ a quirky romance between a royal Canterlot guard and a flower girl. The twist? She’s got two identical twin sisters with the exact same cutie mark! It’s a great example of dramatic irony and ambiguity as plot elements. Should be right up your alley Scootaloo.” Said Twilight before handing off said book to an orange pegasus who clearly did not want to be alive right now.
“I suppose I can’t talk about the ending if Scootaloo’s going to read it.” She thought aloud before an idea hatched with a Ping! “I’ll just have to pass on the honors. How about you Mr. Cake”
“I don’t want to hear about his toilet book” said Dash.
“It’s not a toilet book! It’s an intelligent text for use on the toilet!” said an increasingly distressed Mr. Cake.
“No offense but it’s still nowhere near as cool as what Daring does” said Rainbow Dash.
“And besides, I read my recipe books while answering nature’s call. Everypony does it.” Said Mrs. Cake, patting her husband’s back.
“DON’T YOU COOK WHILE HOLDING THOSE?!” blurted Mr. Cake.
“I hope she washes her hooves” said Sweetie Belle, scrunching up her face.
“Girls! Please, let’s do our best to keep this about books okay?” pleaded Twilight from the stand.
“Pardon me.” grumbled Mr. Cake, getting up to leave “I have to use my toilet book”
“Well I just started a wonderful book where a little colt goes on a journey to heaven. I haven’t got very far, but a beautiful angel has promised to bring him back to his family. It’s keeping me on the edge of my hooves!” said Mrs. Cake.
“Well that’s boring. If the kid’s dead then where’s the excitement?” blurted out Dash.
“I’m afraid I don’t understand” said the Mayor.
“What if heaven has a deadly spike trap? Kid can’t die twice, so where’s the danger? Kinda kills the story doesn’t it?”
“I think this might be more a metaphorical tale than what you usually read.” started to explain Twilight before pausing a little too long and letting somepony else chime in.
“Why would heaven have spike traps?” wondered Sweetie.
“Duh! Every book I’ve ever read has had spike traps in it. It’s as common as ‘Chapter 1’” said Rainbow Dash.
Having also only read Daring Do, Sweetie accepted her club-mate’s reasoning.
The two of them erupted into a discussion of their favorite Daring Do dungeons and the night was lost. The group broke apart at nine because with the Cakes’ little ones it was important for the home to run on strict sleep schedules. Twilight couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Tonight was the night she finally had ponies to share her love of books with, and it was far from intellectual or at the very least engaging.
After kissing Spike goodnight (something he whines about to no end), she crawled under her own midnight blue covers. Normally she would read a bit but she somehow felt betrayed by books. To her surprise, a little tear formed in her right eye. Was it not enough to have five great friends? For the better part of her youth she had dreamed of a sort of Superfriend who was cool, attractive, loved everything she loved and cared for her. Sure she had RD to be ‘cool’ and Rarity to be ‘attractive’ and everypony certainly cared for her. Perhaps she was just being moody.
#####
It was Friday afternoon, and Twilight was feeling no better, at least not until she visited Sugar Cube Corner to pick up some flour of all things.
“I’ll just pick that up for you” smiled Twilight sheepishly, levitating the bag before Mrs. Cake could lay a hoof on it.
“I WASH MY HOOVES CELESTIA DARN IT!”
“Are you Ms. Sparkle?” a voice came from behind her.
Twilight turned around, now nose to nose with a rosy mare in a white sunhat. Her mane was pink and fluffy without being overdone, and her flank had smiling flowers on it.
“I am. Pardon my asking, but I don’t think we’ve met.” said Twilight.
“That doesn’t surprise me” laughed the pony with a roll of the eyes “I’m a bit of a shut in. My name’s Cherilee and I am a schoolteacher here in Ponyville. I heard two of my students discussing a Book Club I’d just love to be a part of and I was told a young unicorn named Twilight Sparkle was its President.
She was never actually called President, but she liked the ring to it. President Sparkle.
“Well certainly! I’d love more members! What kind of books are you into?” asked Twilight with obvious enthusiasm.
Cherilee burst through a quick laugh “I meant it when I said ‘shut in’ Twilight. When I’m not teaching I’m reading anything with words, and when I’m not reading I’m buying quick meals!”
Twilight’s heart skipped a beat. She dropped the flour, which burst and covered them both in white powder.
Twilight bit her lower lip, hoping the accident wouldn’t be too off-putting. Cherilee didn’t seem to mind, and helped her and the cakes clean up.
“I only came here to get some flour, after that I was going to go home and study-but I don’t have to do that! Er, I mean. Um. It’s just, I mean, this was so unexpected” she stumbled about. Wow Twilight. Way to make this epically awkward. Lucky for Twilight, Cherilee was every bit as awkward, being so used to interacting with ponies much younger than either of them. “Would you-would you like to go to the park together?”
“Absolutely! Have you ever read The Tin Flute?”
######
If you’re a socially awkward pony who’s recently met a pony who’s as awkward as you are, one of two things can happen. Thing One: you avoid eye contact and pray for an opportunity to leave. Thing Two: a friendship develops so rapidly it goes to ludicrous speed and beyond.
Twilight and Cherilee landed on Thing Two, and were now so close they were practically interchangeable in their skin. Never before had either of them had the opportunity to analyze poetry with somepony else. To share their thoughts on character actions. Metaphor. Deeper Meaning. Interconnectivity. It was a sweet release of suppressed intellectualness. It left Twilight dizzy. They walked the dirt roads, lay by the lake, and bonded while cloud watching. She learned how Cherilee was the youngest in a family of six. How she too had hated schooling. She had become a teacher to help fillies, especially the ones who didn’t fit in, feel as much at home as she could. Her passion for learning was unmatched.
The two of them got some ice cream, and started off towards Cherilee’s house on the far side of town. On the way she learned where Cherilee and she differ in taste. She was much less into geek culture than Twi. She didn’t even know what cosplaying was and quickly expressed disinterest in multi-universes, which were a comic book staple. Twilight wasn’t as into existential themes or biographies as her rose colored friend. But they were both grateful for their differences; it assured them that they each would come to the table with different viewpoints, and difference was the spice of life.
The pair had arrived at Cherilee’s lakeside cottage at dusk.
“So the club meets every Thursday then?” asked Cheerilee.
“You bet it!” said Twilight with a twirl of her tail.
Twilight smiled as she crawled into bed that night. It seemed her new friend needed that as much as she did.
######
“And it was sooooo cool when the Cunning Colt trapped her in that crusher and said ‘Farewell Daring Don’t!’!!!” said Rainbow with a small flip in the air.
She was floating alongside Twilight, who was watering her tree houses various potted plants. She was on the outer run at the moment.
“Mm-hmm” said Twilight, not really listening and humming a happy tune.
“And then she escaped and said ‘Daring Does what Daring Do!’ before popping him one in the face and taking back the Emernigurnu Emerald or whatever it’s called.” Continued Dash unabated.
“Ermanyangairu Emerald. It’s in the book’s title” Corrected Twilight. “And I haven’t read that one yet.”
“Whaaaaat?! Twi, that’s not cool. Seriously. It’s been out since Saturday. 24 full hours!! I thought you were the egghead here!” said Dash, waving her hooves about in exasperation.
“I’m sorry. Cherilee invited me in and we read together.”
“I-wait huh?”
“She poured some cocoa; she read Round Hooves and Black Hearts while I read the Tin Flute again. We just sat in comfy chairs and enjoyed each other’s company in silence” explained Twilight.
“Well if you were just reading why not read Daring Do and the ErmergerdDerenDer Emerald?”
“I didn’t read Daring Do and the Ermanyangairu Emerald because Cherilee rekindled my love for the Tin Flute” said Twilight, slowing a little for the Ermanyangairu part.
“Wait, wait, wait!” said Dash, eyeing her friend over and elevating herself. “You mean to tell me you read a book you’ve already read over a brand new Daring Do! Daring Do?!”
“Well it is the 27th Daring Do you know” said Twilight more hotly than she intended. She was also overwatering her dahlias.
“And isn’t Cherilee the grade school teacher?” Rainbow Dash’s voice also a little hot in tone. “When’d she get so important?”
Dash elevated herself higher, glaring at Twilight. The dahlias were now drowning.
“I’m sorry” said Twilight bowing a little. She sensed they were on the edge of a fight she really didn’t want to happen “I just met Cherilee the other day and she and I really hit it off. She’s the only book buddy I have and-“
“’Book buddy’? Did you say book buddy? I thought we were book buddies! Daring Do was our thing. Our thing! What’s it not good enough for you anymore?”
“I love Daring and you know it” said Twilight, somehow making her sound apologetic. She swallowed a few times, caught in her friends judging gaze. She looked hurt behind her curt demeanor. Unexpectedly she dashed away in a spectrum of color.
Dash flew to the nearest cloud and buried herself inside. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What was the point of what she just did? It didn’t do any good for nopony! And why was she so upset over Twilight Sparkle, the pony she had the least in common with, having a new friend? Celestia! She already had four others! And who cares if Cherilee’s a better book buddy than her. Rainbow didn’t know how or why but she might have just ruined the only thing she and Twilight shared.
“Our thing…”
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Haha cool Idea.
This looks very interesting.
However
I think you want "That" there instead, I hope you don't mind.
And this.
I just found hilarious.
Stormgnome must be hallucinating. The spelling is amazingly perfect.
2151573
I never mind a helping hoof! Especially when I derp like that!
Also, I'm glad someone got the ErmergerdDerenDer Emerald thing.
2153607
Just cause I deprive myself of sleep, doesn't mean I'm hallucinating.
And furthermore I didn't say anything about grammar.
Great story, I shall fav.
Jealous Rainbow Dash should be fun.
There has got to be a TwiDash here.
I CAN SMELL IT.
Interesting. I love the flashback to Filly Twi longing to be friends. Really felt for her. The almost fight with Dash was engaging. Somepony's jealous.