Avoiding Clichés

by Late_To_The_Party

The Great and Powerful Shopkeep

Twilight Sparkle walked the dusty streets of Appleoosa. She had come to the settler town with her friends to attend a celebration of the recently established treaty with the Buffalo. As the ponies who had helped end the hostilities, they were to be the guests of honor that night. Until then, they had some extra time on their hooves, so Applejack was visiting her family, and Fluttershy was learning about the local wildlife. Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was preparing another musical number, and Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Little Strongheart were trying to talk her out of it. She sincerely hoped they would succeed.

A tumbleweed blew across the road right in front of her, shaking her out of her thoughts. She watched it come to rest against a building that looked much newer than the others nearby. Not to say that the others weren’t new; the entire town was only a couple years old. Perhaps newer wasn’t quite the word for this building. Flashier might be a more appropriate description. Standing two stories tall, the bright blues and purples of the store were a sharp contrast to the tans and browns of the surrounding structures. The sign seemed to indicate it was a magic shop of some kind, although what use that would be to the earth ponies who lived in Appleoosa, Twilight wasn’t sure.

Twilight stepped inside, and a bell jingled to announce her arrival. The first thing she noticed upon entering the shop was the counter opposite the entrance, behind which there was a doorway to another room in the back of the building. Looking around, Twilight saw the walls were covered with shelves holding a large variety of small, brightly colored boxes and trinkets, many of which appeared to have some kind of magical purpose. Everything was clean and neatly organized; whoever owned the shop clearly cared a great deal about appearances. She realized it looked a lot like many small stores she’d seen in Canterlot, but the bright colors, not to mention the magic, seemed out of place in Appleoosa.

Twilight heard hoofsteps and a voice from the back room, its owner having heard the bell on the door.

“Welcome to my shop! What do you desire from the Great and Powerful-” Twilight recognized the voice.

“Trixie?” The unicorn in question had stopped in the doorway, and was looking at Twilight with no small amount of surprise.

“Twilight Sparkle?”

“What are you doing here?” They asked in unison. Trixie stepped out of the doorway and walked behind the counter. When Twilight made no move to answer the question they had both asked, Trixie did.

“After that “Alicorn Amulet” incident,” Trixie said, looking down, “which I still feel bad about, by the way.” She looked back up at Twilight, replacing her air of smugness. “Trixie came to Appleoosa to get a fresh start. Trixie’s magic may not be impressive to ponies in Canterlot or even Ponyville, but the Appleoosans were so amazed by Trixie’s greatness that they wanted her to stay!” She reared in excitement. “Now the Great and Powerful Trixie performs at least once a week. In fact, Trixie is performing for a special celebration tonight!”

“What a coincidence!” Twilight said. “I’m going to the celebration too.” She gave a nervous chuckle. “That’s really why I’m here; I’m actually one of the guests of honor. My friends and I are partially responsible for the treaty with the Buffalo.”

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Why is Trixie not surprised?” She asked with a smirk.

“Oh, you know, just in the right place at the right time, I guess. So,” Twilight said, trying to change the subject away from herself, “what do you sell here?”

Trixie’s eyes lit up at the question and she gestured Twilight to come over to the counter. Trixie’s horn glowed and she levitated some of the items from the shelves onto the counter for Twilight to see.

“These are all items which you may have no need of, being a unicorn, but the Appleoosans have no magic of their own, so they like to use these and pretend that they do.” Trixie gestured to the first box, which had a picture of a dark cloud on it. “These are smoke pellets. They can be thrown against the ground or crushed between hooves to create a cloud of smoke, giving the magician time to disappear.”

“Neat!” Twilight said. “Do you use potassium ni-”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie wasn’t finished,” Trixie said sternly.

“Sorry, go on.”

“Thank you.” Trixie cleared her throat and pointed out the next box, which was longer and thinner than the first. “These are magic sparklers. They are wand sized and when you wave them around, they... well, they sparkle.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“They sparkle very brightly,” Trixie said defensively.

“Okay, okay,” Twilight said, raising one of her front hooves in a placating gesture. “What else do you sell?”

“This is one of my finest products,” Trixie said, gesturing to the next box. It looked just like the first box except this cloud had a lightning bolt sticking out of it. “They’re smaller than the smoke pellets, and don’t need to be crushed. One simply tosses the tiny pellet, and wherever it hits, a storm cloud appears, striking that spot with a bolt of lightning!” Trixie reared again, laughing maniacally.

“That sounds awfully dangerous for a magic show,” Twilight said.

Trixie stopped laughing and lowered herself onto all fours again. She looked at Twilight and sighed. “Twilight, you’ve seen my lightning. It’s good for standing ponies’ manes on end, but not much else. It’s not going to really hurt anypony.”

“I guess you’re right,” Twilight said. “Actually, that would be great to have on hoof the next time Rainbow Dash decides to prank me. I might just buy some of those from you. I think I’ll get some of the sparklers too; Spike will love them.”

“Wonderful!” Trixie said. “One box of each?”

“That sounds perfect,” Twilight said with a smile. “How much?”

“Fifteen bits.”

Twilight paid for the items, thanked Trixie, and turned to leave.

“Remember,” Trixie said as Twilight reached the door, “for any magic show, whether you’re an earth pony, a pegasus, or a unicorn, you can buy what you need from the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Twilight looked back at Trixie, who was standing on her hind legs again, her forelegs held high in the air. “I’ll remember, and I may just be back for more sometime. See you at the celebration tonight.”

Twilight left the shop. Trixie lowered her forelegs back to the floor. She levitated the items she hadn’t sold back to the shelves, carefully lining them up where they belonged. She looked around the shop and allowed herself a satisfied nod.

“Another sale and a performance tonight,” she said to herself. “The Great and Powerful Trixie really has found a place to belong.” She smiled and returned to the back room.

Author's Note:

Did you notice how Trixie and Twilight saw each other and neither of them pounced on the other with violent or amorous intentions? It takes some measure of skill to avoid that particular cliché. Not a very large measure of skill, but some.

Comments

[Honeycomb]

Aww, I liked this. Great concept you've got going here—more writers should take efforts to avoid cliches.

Personally, I'd like to see a story with Celestia and Luna that successfully avoids the ridiculous number of cliches that surround those two. Trollestia, Molestia, Cakelestia, gamer Luna, Luna-who-breaks-down-and-cries-whenever-anyone-mentions-her-banishment-and-the-same-goes-for-Celestia...

[Late_To_The_Party]

2121663 I'm glad you liked it. I also have to make sure that if the Princesses try to do something simple, they don't have a really difficult time with it.

To those who don't like it, yes I'm talking to you downvoters who provided no explanation of why you downvoted, I suggest trying my other stories, which are not at all like this one. In fact, Baking Cupcakes opens with a cliché, so how about that?

[RTStephens]

A quick, light read that doesn't happen as often as I'd like to see. Twixie might be my OTP but it's great to see a quick exchange between these two characters that doesn't devolve into sudden, life-shattering revelations or smoochieness.

And really, Trixie kinda strikes me as the Weasley brothers from Harry Potter. Perhaps not the best at magic, but they sure do know how to sell a product!

Nice work!

[Late_To_The_Party]

2121727 Thanks! I'm not opposed to Twixie myself, but it's so overused that it needed someone to write something like this.

[Xenonic]

Okay, we could have the Alicorn-wakes-up-in-Ponyville-doesn't-know-who-he/she-is cliche, or the Twilestia Twilight-sends-a-letter cliche, or the Rainbow Dash-spends-all-her-time-in-Twilight's-house-because-she-loves-her cliche.
Also, this looks like a rather good story so far. Well done!

[SuperChaosKG]

Derpy not being clumsy while delivering mail.

It might be a challenge but I think it's good.

[Magic Man]

A series of cliches I'd like to see avoided are the ones pretty much surrounding every single Changeling story. you know what I mean?

*Changeling wants to start new life in Ponyville/is injured, must be looked after.
*Changelings are the victims of pony oppression.
*Changelings all come from Hives. (There's not evidence supporting this at all. For all we know, their society and culture is almost identical to Equestria's.)
*This is a reiteration of no.2, that ponies are pretty much the Third freaking Reich when it comes to Changelings. Basically, they are the most bigoted, brutish and over-the-top evil creatures in the world and want to giggle with glee while they dance in Changeling blood and want to commit a Changeling genocide. Yeah... THOSE fanfictions, which I despise with a passion.

I loath those cliches.

[Blossomforth]

Fantastic. It's rare to see a Twixie where they aren't biting at each others throats or being tsundere.

[Knight of the Raven]

I've read few stories involving Trixie, so I'm not familiar with the clichés surrounding her, but this was well written. The narration is accurate and you've mastered said tags.

It was nice and touching to see Trixie finding 'a place to belong,' discussing freely (though for a very short amount of time) with Twilight. It was also cute to see her rear in excitement. Nice use of the first person when she mentions the amulet, too.

I liked these lines;

'Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was preparing another musical number, and Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Little Strongheart were trying to talk her out of it. She sincerely hoped they would succeed,'

'A tumbleweed blew across the road right in front of her, shaking her out of her thoughts,'

'whoever owned the shop clearly cared a great deal about appearances,'

'When Twilight made no move to answer the question they had both asked, Trixie did,'

'“They sparkle very brightly,” Trixie said defensively'

and

' Trixie reared again, laughing maniacally.'

[SgtFrog]

Could you please write a story where Twilight doesn't go batshit insane when she forgets something or finds something she can't figure out?

Or a story where Twilight treats Celestia with a healthy and sane amount of respect (not the slavishly devoted yes-pony some fanfics turn her into)