Hmmm... I really like the story. There are a lot of good elements to it, but a couple of issues I noticed as well. Mainly, some of your grammar and mechanics are a little off, which could be solved very easily by just reading through it a few times before posting. I would definitely try to get an editor, and you could probably find one here. Just ask someone in the chat to add you, then there's a section to request editors. Another issue I noticed was consistency. For example you mentioned that Short Change started out in New Appleoosa, but later mentioned just Appleoosa. Try to keep those things straight, as they make the story choppy. My only last recommendation would be to watch for stylistic realism (yes, I know that sounds dumb, so I'll explain what I mean). The thing that makes a story for me is that the characters react realistically, whether they be main characters or side characters, so to me it seems like a bit of a stretch the someone will just offer up a quest out of nowhere to someone they just met.
Besides that stuff, all of which can be fixes, I really like the story, and the characters seem rather interesting as well. I'm looking forward to see what happens next!
Hmmm... I really like the story. There are a lot of good elements to it, but a couple of issues I noticed as well. Mainly, some of your grammar and mechanics are a little off, which could be solved very easily by just reading through it a few times before posting. I would definitely try to get an editor, and you could probably find one here. Just ask someone in the chat to add you, then there's a section to request editors.
Another issue I noticed was consistency. For example you mentioned that Short Change started out in New Appleoosa, but later mentioned just Appleoosa. Try to keep those things straight, as they make the story choppy.
My only last recommendation would be to watch for stylistic realism (yes, I know that sounds dumb, so I'll explain what I mean). The thing that makes a story for me is that the characters react realistically, whether they be main characters or side characters, so to me it seems like a bit of a stretch the someone will just offer up a quest out of nowhere to someone they just met.
Besides that stuff, all of which can be fixes, I really like the story, and the characters seem rather interesting as well. I'm looking forward to see what happens next!