I think this story is great... I don't understand the down votes....my only suggestion would be to start new paragraphs when a character speaks and also watch your past and present tenses. Example: Rainbow Dash falls to the ground laughing and then she cheers...it should be...RAinbow Dash fell to the ground laughing and then she cheered....to keep with the rest of the tense of the story! Cheers!
very cute story, i really like to see more
2107204
thank you! and you definitely will!
I think this story is great... I don't understand the down votes....my only suggestion would be to start new paragraphs when a character speaks and also watch your past and present tenses. Example: Rainbow Dash falls to the ground laughing and then she cheers...it should be...RAinbow Dash fell to the ground laughing and then she cheered....to keep with the rest of the tense of the story! Cheers!