The Sex Parts are not so good ok to be honest they're bad. They feel rushed. There no feelings, they're in love but the sex is just like meh. Writing a good Sexscene can be pretty hard as you have to bring over the love and passion between to people (or in this case Ponies) without letting it sound to cheesy or to much concentrated on the sex thing. And the editing is just *blargh* .
For your next Fic let out the sex and just concentrate on Character Development and their Relationship. Getting together to fast can also destroy the mood of the Story. Also if they have to get over some troubles before they can be together the Reader would want to know if they can make it. And if they can its a much better experience for the Reader as he is most likely concerned about them if there was a good Story/ Character Development before.
I hope you get everything i want to say. Sorry if there any mistakes english isnt my foreign language and my brain isnt capable of to complex operations like correct grammar/spelling/etc at 1:36 AM
The Sex Parts are not so good ok to be honest they're bad. They feel rushed. There no feelings, they're in love but the sex is just like meh. Writing a good Sexscene can be pretty hard as you have to bring over the love and passion between to people (or in this case Ponies) without letting it sound to cheesy or to much concentrated on the sex thing. And the editing is just *blargh* .
For your next Fic let out the sex and just concentrate on Character Development and their Relationship. Getting together to fast can also destroy the mood of the Story. Also if they have to get over some troubles before they can be together the Reader would want to know if they can make it. And if they can its a much better experience for the Reader as he is most likely concerned about them if there was a good Story/ Character Development before.
I hope you get everything i want to say. Sorry if there any mistakes english isnt my foreign language and my brain isnt capable of to complex operations like correct grammar/spelling/etc at 1:36 AM
2021379 Your spelling and grammar are spot on, and I agree.