2- Horrible day
I never slept very long or have fallen asleep when it was dark around me.Not that I'm afraid of darkness, it's just that changelings are creatures made for acting when it's dark and night and sleeping when it's day and bright, and unfortunately I am no exception of the nocturnal activity, regardless of how hard I tried in the past to assimilate the pony time standards.But that was not the only thing that woke me up.
I opened my eyes and tilted my head as my ears peaked up.I could hear some hoofsteps and voices coming from the end of the corridor.My biological clock told me that this wasn't one of the usual patrols.The steps came closer and I could her that there were two guards talking to each other, which was pretty unusual because they weren't allowed to talk to each other while they are on duty, except it's necessary of course.
"C'mon Shieldbreaker, that's a bad idea, you heard what the captain said." one of them said, apparently trying to convince the other one.
"I don't care! If the captain doesn't have the balls to do it, I will do it.You should be on my side and not defending that changeling scum !", an older voice responded angrily.I stood up as I heard my nicknames, confused and alarmed.I couldn't think of what I may have done, but most ponies don't need a real reason to be against me.
"I'm not defending it, I just think it's not a good idea to disregard the captain's orders.Besides, it wasn't actually this one who attacked you." the younger one pointed out. Like I said, no real reasons to be against me as an individual, just against my whole race which I had to represent down there. I nervously started to flap a bit with my 3 thin pairs of insect wings which caused a silent buzz noise.
The hoofsteps stopped right in front of my door and I could hear the metallic rustle of keys. I just stood up and starred at the door as it opened and an infirmary looking grey unicorn with a huge scar running across his face entered the small cell.
"Isn't it a bit early for y-" but before I could end the sentence he punched me in the face and I crashed on the wall behind me and fell down to the ground.
"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a fang!" he said angrily while kicking in my stomach with his iron horseshoe.
"You had your fun Shieldbraker! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" the voice from the corridor yelled, but of course he didn't stopped.One of my upper fangs broke off and the hard chitin shell on my back began to crack under the power of his kicks.
My vision began to turn dark and I could barely see how the other guard ran away down the corridor while yelling something in the direction he went, but I wasn't able to hear it anymore.
In a last act of defense I jammed my remaining fang into his foreleg, right before he tried to give me another kick. His warm blood splashed over my face and he started to scream in pain.This was the first time I really used my fangs in the way they are thought to be used...and it felt strangely good.Kind of natural.
He stepped back in confusion and fear and I saw my chance to strike back.I pulled my fang out of his leg, kicked him out of the cell and stood up.I had a few broken rips, but the sweet adrenalin which was rushing through my veins freed me from the pain.
I stepped out into the corridor where he was still laying on the floor.As he saw me he tried to get back on his hooves, but I simply kicked him right into the face and he crashed into the wall behind him. I hissed amused and darted my black forked tongue out and in.His face was full of fear.
"You know..." I started to talk to him but stopped to spit some blood and fang splinters on the ground. "...one does not simply attack somepony without knowing what he is possible to do.It could end bad...for you." I continued while I demonstratively licked his blood from my fang.
Of course I didn't wanted to hurt him, but he was the one who attacked me without a good reason, so it just seemed fair to me to scare him a bit. It worked pretty good.
He started to crawl backwards while he stared at my tongue which slowly gathered up every little drop of his blood from the fang.Psycho, I know. I slowly followed him, continually hissing like a snake which was about to attack every moment.
"You'll never make it stick. You are trapped down here. There is no escape for you!" he shouted at me, probably a try to distract me.
"Neither for you." I answered calm and with a sly grin.He was right, I was trapped down there and an escape seemed impossible, but I didn't care because I never really planned to try an escape.
We reached the gateway at the end of the corridor in the opposite direction where the other guard has ran.He pressed his back against the wall like he was trying to blend with it. I stopped a few hoofs away from him and leaned against the wall with a silent sigh.The adrenaline slowly started to fade away and was replaced with the horrible pain coming from the rips.
I looked back up to him and grew stiff when I saw that he was grinning at me, levitating a dagger in front of him, the fear in his face replaced by a vicious grin.I had no idea where he got that dagger from.
The roles changed and I started to walk backwards and skidded to the side as he tried to stab me in the face.I was to slow and he cut me into the cheek.I winced and pressed a hoof against the cut.He used my distraction and batted me down to the floor.
I tried to punch him away, but he blocked it and jammed me down on the floor by standing on my legs.He levitated the dagger right above my head and between my eyes while grinned at me again while I starred at my reflection in the properly polished blade.
"Any last words chan..." but before he finished the sentence let out a gasp and the dagger dropped out of his magical aura and stuck into the floor beside me, only a few inches away from my pretty face.
I looked up to him in confusion to see the reason for his change of mind.It was an 11 inches long arrow with a white feather at the end. The other end stuck right between his two skewed and lifeless eyes, a small river of blood was already making it way down his face and over his muzzle.I gave him a little shove and he dropped dead on the floor besides me.
This was the first time I saw a dead pony, but I didn't really felt anything about it, it just seemed not so tragic for me.
I sat up and wanted to turn my head to see the guardian angel who just saved my life, but I stopped when I heard a voice shouting at me.
"Stop! Don't move! Back on the floor and your hooves behind the head or we are forced to shoot!". After seeing how good their precision was I did how I was told and laid back on the floor with my fore-hooves under the back of my head. I gazed at the ceiling while I could hear a huge amount of hoofsteps coming down the corridor toward me.
After a few seconds they reached me and I could see two royal guards.They quickly kicked the dagger out of my reach and rolled me on my stomach.My rips hurt friggin' unbelievable when they pressed me down on the floor while they bounded my hooves in chains.I tried to I stopped when I saw two unicorns in front of me levitating their stretched bows and aiming at me.
They stood up from me and lifted me up on my hooves, helping me standing when I was about to fall down again.We walked through the two archers and they began to follow us, leaving their dead comrade behind us on the floor. I don't think they liked him very much, otherwise they wouldn't have shoot him.
"We should bring him quickly into the infirmary.The Doc should look at him." one of them said to the others and they simply nodded.
I tried to say something but the pain was too strong so I just moaned a bit and let them carry me while my hind legs dragged over the floor.I never felt so feeble before.
I expected that they would bring me back into my cell, but we just passed the still open door, so I had to fear that they would bring me into the interrogation room to consult or punish me, but we passed that door too.
We passed every other room and headed right toward the huge gate at the end of the corridor which slowly started to hoist while we came closer.The last time I passed this gate was on my way in here must have been two weeks ago and I honestly never expected I would pass this gate alive again.
None of my two carriers said anything to me as they dragged me into the small metal lined room behind it and carefully placed me with my back against the wall, but I wasn't in the mood for talking anyway, the breathing was exhausting enough for me.
I felt something warm coming up my throat so I tipped forward and salivated some blood on the floor.I felt so tired that I didn't even was worried about it.I leaned back again and swallowed the rests in my mouth, closing my eyes.I just felt so tired.
"HEY! Don't sleep, you have to stay with me.How many hooves do you see? Stay with me!" one of the earth ponies suddenly said to me when he noticed that I was about to drift away.He shook me and holded one of his hooves in front of my face, but I could barely hear and see him.
"...I dunno...three...I guess..." I guess I wasn't very close and the worried glance the guard gave his companions confirmed my assumption.
I tried to keep my eyes open like he told me, but everytime I blinked it seemed that I missed a couple of seconds of what was happening around me.Right now I was looking in the white face of an earth pony and in the next moment he was standing besides me and the huge gate in front of me was closed again at a single blow.
The room started to shake slightly and I could fell that we somehow were moving upward with some irregular rattles which were making me wince everytime I felt them.
A few minutes passed and I closed my eyes again, but the guard besides me kept me awake with a small slap on the back of my head.I coughed some blood into my still cuffed hoof.I wondered how bad my injuries actually were.I was about to ask one of them but I couldn't bring out more than a mix of burbling and moaning so I just kept quiet.
The room suddenly stopped moving with a huge rumble.The guards turned to the closed gate and I starred at the small gap between the metal floor and the gate above it.I could see something behind the gate I haven't seen for two weeks.The gate suddenly opened and daylight flooded the room.
I was blended by it's immense power and squinnied my eyes,and before I could do something against it, darkness surrounded me and my mind was drifting away...
What a horrible day.
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Psycho guards.
I...what? Ask him out? Like, on a date?
The hot headed really shouldn't have any involvement with justice, somebody always ends up dead.
Such a waste.
This story is pretty good.
Very good even, i'm watching this.
Although its noticable that you haven't written a lot, that's mostly seen in the begin of the first chapter, its just not very smooth.
But its a pretty nice story.
Good idea for a story.
I really like the racial issues put in and that he is( im guessing) trying to be like a normal pony. Also liked the... Brutality
The only thing holding it back is a couple of gramma issues and sometimes the flow.
Simply can help you on the gramma. And the flow should be better the more write, keep it up you're doing great
2013438 do the grammar ! DO IT ! I will write with you later about it
2013441
But... Im dean... And on a phone, soo i may have some problems with correcting errors
2013452 i know you are dean XD
2013452 and I meant that you could do them when you have time ^^ would be awesome
2013460
I'll see what i can do. We could have a call tomorrow, then i could read it and naming the problems while you can edit it
2013477 sure