The Adventures of Bassicus

by Dubious

Chapter One: The Changeling Effect

Chapter One: The Changeling Effect.

Proofread by The11thWonder

"... And that's how I helped defeat the Masters Army with just a mostly broken Alien Blaster Rifle and a lead pipe." Concluded Bassicus.

"That was an interesting tale Bassicus. Tell me, what happened to the Vault Dweller?"

"Oh, he returned to his vault with the Water Chip and was cast out for being irrevocably contaminated by the wastes. So, he left and started up a small village. I met his granddaughter eighty years later; charming young lady, if a bit on the dull side."

"What do you mean?" Asked Celestia.

"Well she wasn't to good with making complex decisions, she more liked to power through her problems with brute force and speed. A very worthy strategy, served me well in escaping the Alien Mothership. Theta, I believe was its designation. "Anyway, needless to say my presence was the sole reason she didn't become a feared warmonger."

"So, you're basically the moral guider of the heroes of your world?" Luna smartly said.

"Who said anything about morals? I just helped them rationalize and plan their attacks, the morals were all their own doing." Replied Bassicus.

"So you have no morals?"

"What do I look like? A member of the Vault-Tec Biological Research Department? Don't make me laugh."

"So you do have morals?"

"If I didn't I would've signed onto the F.E.V project, not the Pip-boy project... And all other non-biology related projects."

"Why?" Luna asked with an innocent look.

"I suck at biology. ALL aspects of biology."

"So you can only create machines, but not living beings?" Celestia wondered.

"Well I did help build those AI Super Computers. So I can technically create living beings, just not flesh and blood things."

"Auuuuntie! One of the maids is trying... to blackmail... me..." Prince Blueblood slowly trailed off as he saw his aunt's peculiar dinner guest. "Who's this, Auntie?"

"This is bassicus. He's an immortal like us, only he's actively participated in the events of his world far more than us."

"Really? Can I talk with him in private?" Blueblood begged.

"It's up to him, really. Bassicus, what do you say?" asked Celestia.

"Sure, why not? It's not like I can't defend myself. If that horde of raging Deathclaws pumped full of some idiots new combat chem is anything to go by." He responded cheerfully as he followed Blueblood to his chambers.

Several minutes later they were in Blueblood's quarters, a set of lavishly decorated rooms adorned with gold-trimmed tapestries and ancient tomes. Priceless pieces of art hung on the walls behind his mammoth (compared to Blueblood, at least) sized four-poster bed, a few feet above the posh red carpeting.

"I have to admit, this place is pretty nice, still not as nice as that suite Vault-Tec hooked me up with on that corporate retreat, but it's close. So what did you want to talk about?" He said whilst casually admiring Blueblood's chambers.

"I was wondering why you came here, actually."

"Oh, I decided I'd had enough of a dead planet, so I built a device that allows the user to traverse dimensional streams safely."

"May I see this device?" Blueblood asked, a small gleam in his eye.

"You're looking at it." Bassicus replied waving his hands to show he was talking about himself.

"You had the device implanted inside you?" Blueblood asked, paling at the prospect of having an artificial device inside of him.

"I was talking about the armor. Who would want to have something that's so high maintenance inside their body? That's just stupid."

"Oh." Blueblood released an internal sigh of relief. "I was wondering if you could teach me about its inner workings." Blueblood asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"Know anything about Nano Quantum-Entanglement Chronofields?"

I do not even recognize half of the words you have just said." Stated Blueblood, blushing slightly at not being able to keep up with this clearly devolved ape.

"Well then I'd rather not be court marshaled for melting a person- Er- I mean ponies, brain. Do you even have a legal system here?"

"The princesses generally turn the worst offenders into stone." Blueblood told the alien.

"Well, I guess it's sorta better than wasteland justice." He pondered aloud.

"What do you mean?"

"They tend to punish even the smallest slight with immediate death. If you have a very good reputation, you might get a bounty on your head. If you're not so high and mighty, you'll likely get hunted down by some crazy cult." He explained, "It's the main reason I prefer to be neutral. Totally has nothing to do with me blowing up a small portion of the Czech Republic and kickstarting the apocalypse." Bassicus said, accidentally letting the real cause of his neutrality slip.

"I see. Well since I can't be told how this device works, I'll have to take the knowledge directly from your dying brain." Blueblood said whilst a green fire engulfed his entire body, revealing him to be a small bug like alicorn.

"Well, this isn't really anything new to be honest." Bassicus sighed, slightly disappointed at the familiar experience.

"Be silent, morsel!" Shrieked the Bugicorn.

"I guess you didn't hear about my adventures, did you?" Bassicus asked the Bugicorn as he reached onto his back and grabbed ahold of his Electron Plasma Halberd.

"Enough talk! Now you die!" The Bugicorn screeched as it charged him, only to let out a startled yelp as it felt something hot pass through it.

"I'm surprised! Usually bad guys don't do that. EVER. They always blab on and on about how their master plan is infallible, completely blind to the fact I've started escaping their crappy holding cells." Taunted the axe-wielding Bassicus. Seeing movement from the corner of his eye, Bassicus whirled around, axe at the ready, only to find a startled pink horse. "Oh, there pink alicorn! Would you mind telling Celestia that Prince Blueblood here attacked me?" Bassicus politely asked of a gaping mouthed Cadance. She had entered the room to meet with her husband, Prince Blueblood, just in time to see a Changeling being cleaved in twain by a magical halberd wielded by a bipedal giant.

"O-okay." Cadance stuttered as she backed out and ran to find Celestia.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

Celestia had just finished enjoying a slice of her Chocolate Cloud Cake, when Cadance came bursting in on her babbling on about an alien and a changeling in Prince Bluebloods chambers.

"Slow down Cadance. Now tell me again, slowly, from the beginning, what did you see?"

After a few deep breaths Cadance started again, albeit at a much slower pace. "I was going to meet up with Blueblood and when I entered his chambers to get him... I-I-I saw a strange Biped clad in the most advanced armor I've ever seen, holding a halberd with a magical blade cut through a changeling like it was nothing." She had returned to tears by the end of the recount as to what she had seen.

"It's okay Cadance, I'm sure Blueblood's alright." Celestia soothed Cadance. Meanwhile, at the Canterlot train station, the real Blueblood, who had been away on vacation in the Griffon homelands and catching up with old friends, waited impatiently for a royal chariot to fetch him so he could return to the palace and reunite with his beautiful Cadance for a homecoming 'celebration'.

Back at the palace the guards were mobilizing to subdue the bipedal oddity wandering the halls like it owned the place. Bassicus was harmlessly humming the tune to an old Pre-War song he had listened to countless times over the years, when he found himself outside and surrounded by around three hundred unicorns, all armed with sharp (But not sharp enough to even scratch the Saturnite in his Power Armor.) spears.

"How can I help you?" Bassicus warily asked the Guardsponies.

"By the will of the Princesss you are to accompany us to the dungeons where you will await trial for breaking into the royal palace. Come peacefully or we will use force." One of the guards said. Bassicus could vaguely remember a name Celestia told him, followed with a brief description of what the commander of the Royal Guard looked like.

"No." Was all he said in reply as he started to walk forwards, only to find himself being blocked by a literal wall of spears.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice." The Commander said- SHINING ARMOR- that was the name.

"Well you should be afraid, I've defeated whole armies with just one person as my back up. What could you possibly do to stop me?" Bassicus taunted the assembled guards. Their response? To levitate him off the ground and restrict his movements. "Well played, well played. Too bad I've dealt with things like this before." He calmly said, before being engulfed in an electric blue aura and falling to the ground with a soft thud.

"H-how are you doing that?! You don't even have a horn!" One of the guards screamed as they all began to panic at the creature before them.

"One does not simply escape from aliens without being brutally experimented on." Was all he said to ease their panic. That is, until he was impacted by a chromatic blue pegasus.

"Did you really think you could beat the fastest flier in Equestria!" Shouted the pegasus ontop of him.

"I hadn't really planned on it. But you've forced my hand." He said before grabbing her and launching her halfway across the garden into a tree. "Now let me find my way back to the dining hall so I can ask Celestia where my rooms are." He said whilst smoothing down some wrinkles that had appeared on his unwrinkleable armor.

"W-what?!" Yelled Shining Armor.

"What I just said. I'm a guest of the Princesses. They're absolutely fascinated by my tales, either that or they're absolutely scared shitless. Either one's fine."

"Uh... I guess we can escort you to the dining hall." Shining nervously replied. Why did the royal guard have to be so useless all the time?

"Sweet. You do know where the princesses are, right?"

"I'm the captain of their royal guard, ofcourse I know where they are!" Shining said with slight indignity.

"Well in that case. Lead on." Bassicus then proceeded to fall in line behind Shining Armor and follow him to princess Celestias private quarters. Shining just hoped this creature had no malevolent plans for the Princesses, as he was literally powerless to stop it. Though maybe the elements could possibly stop it, should his suspicions prove true.

~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@

After finding Celestia and smoothing things over with Cadance, Bassicus found himself in his quarters. It was a nice enough place, at least until he could get his own facilities up and running. Then he could really go design happy on his new bedroom. As it was right now, he was stuck in a sparsely decorated room with a bed that could barely fit his unarmored form, three massive glass windows with a beautiful view over the royal gardens, a private bathroom and a small personal kitchen for midnight snacks. He had to admit, that last one had never occured to him wen building his underground home way back in 2093. He was definitely going to rectify that when he built one here. Assuming, ofcourse, that he could purchase a large enough plot of land to build in.

A few minutes later he had finished placing his personal effects on the bare shelves above his fireplace and was reminiscing over lost friends and allies, when there was a light knock at his door.

"It's open!" He yelled through the door to answer whomever was knocking. Only for it to be revealed as none other than Prince Blueblood himself.

"I have come to personally thank you for ousting that impudent changeling. He clearly wasn't smart enough to fully impersonate me. But that is to be expected of lesser species. So tell me, is it true you have a magical halberd capable of cutting through the exoskeleton of a changeling?" Blueblood asked, hoping to Celestia that he had found another being that shared his passion for armaments.

"No." Bassicus' answer disappointed Blueblood and it showed. That is, until he continued. "It's an invention of mine. I took the parts from some other mostly broken down weapons I had lying around, and using a bit of the ingenuity that got me hired on as a lead researcher at Vault-Tec, I created this: the Electron Plasma Halberd. One of the few things I know of that can effortlessly cut Saturnite."

Blueblood was speechless to say the least. Not only had this strange being crafted the weapon he was holding in front of him, but it also used technologies far more advanced than anything Equestria would only be able to produce in the next several hundred, maybe even a thousand, years time. To say he was in awe was an understatement.

"What is you name, good sir?" Blueblood politely asked, not wishing to earn the scorn of a being so clearly advanced.

"I'm Bassicus, sub-hero of the wastes and well-renowned genius. At least before the Great War."

"Might it be too much to ask of you to teach me the mechanics of your weapon..." Blueblood kindly asked before something clicked in his head. "And what do you mean by the Great War?" He asked a little suspicious of Bassicus at the moment.

"Oh it was just the governments of my planet reacting incredibilly stupidly to the world running out of resources. It MAY have also been sparked partially by me when I was escaping Mothership Theta. But to sum it up: It lasted only two hours and killed ninety five percent of all life on Earth, and the life that did survive was horribly mutated into post-apocalyptic monstrosities. And also Vault-Tec kinda, sorta, released a virus, accidentally I might add, into the environment causing the few humans who survived outside of the Vaults to mutate into Super Mutants. So all-in-all, the world went to shit, almost everything died and I had to step in to help put down the opressive elements that had taken hold in the years after the war, with the aide of some incredibilly determined individuals I might add."

"That must have been a horrible thing to experience. At least you still had a place to keep safe, right?"

"I was abducted three years before the war by aliens, I sorta lost all my possesions after I had been declared missing for over three months."

"You must have been through hell." Blueblood grimly stated.

"Well it wasn't so bad, I met some nice friends along the way. May have sleep with all the female ones and before coming here I sorta impregnated the Hero of the Mojave wasteland. Not going back there anytime ever."

"Why not?" Blueblood asked, eager to know the juicy details of his interactions with his mate.

"She has an army of nigh unstoppable robots, numbering in the thousands at her disposal."

"That is bad, I assume?" Blueblood asked curiously.

"Very, but anyway it's late. So I guess I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow?"

"Definitely, I can't wait to see what innovations you can think up!" Blueblood then skipped away happily at the thought of the new friend he made. "Auntie was right," He thought to himself, "Being nice to ponies really does feel good, and it also helps wonders when making friends." He looked both ways, making sure nopony was around, before knocking on Cadances door.

"Oh, hello Blueblood." Cadance said in a seductive tone.

"Might I come in?" Blueblood replied with a sly grin on his face.

"Anything for you." Cadance said as he moved aside to let Blueblood into her room before shutting and locking the door, then casting a soundproofing spell on her room for good measure.

Comments

[kadenthepony]

blueblood...BLUEBLOOD!!!!! HES A PRICK IN THE SHOW!