... “you mutter to your self.” – This should be ‘yourself’… Come to think of it, the same was also present in the previous chapter… huh… I never pointed that one out, but it was right near the end of it. … “to get half way up” – ‘half way’ should be ‘halfway’. … “if its for some” – ‘its’ should be ‘it’s’. … “last saw it.You sit on” – ‘it.’ And ‘You’ need a space between them. … “You legs cannot take any” – ‘Your’ instead of ‘You’.
Your portrayal of the struggle to get up the tower is unusually entertaining, yet believable. From physical struggle to inner monologue, it’s a logical process all the way through, and I must say, is certainly a solid chapter in terms of what it’s meant for: The struggle.
... “you mutter to your self.” – This should be ‘yourself’… Come to think of it, the same was also present in the previous chapter… huh… I never pointed that one out, but it was right near the end of it.
… “to get half way up” – ‘half way’ should be ‘halfway’.
… “if its for some” – ‘its’ should be ‘it’s’.
… “last saw it.You sit on” – ‘it.’ And ‘You’ need a space between them.
… “You legs cannot take any” – ‘Your’ instead of ‘You’.
Your portrayal of the struggle to get up the tower is unusually entertaining, yet believable. From physical struggle to inner monologue, it’s a logical process all the way through, and I must say, is certainly a solid chapter in terms of what it’s meant for: The struggle.
Anon's lines in this chapter are funnier when you read in Pat's (from "Two Best Friends/Sisters Play") voice
.....jeez he got jelly legs I can only picture what this means for him
Why are his legs so weak he cant up fucking stairs come on now humans are a little sturdier than that my friends