I Am Derpy Hooves

by defender of the herd

4 Dys Untill Evalution

4 days till evaluation

The sun was coming up over the hills and began to drip onto the homes and shops of Ponyville when a very excited Overnight left his home. He had a very hearty amount of pep in his canter. He mentally went over his plan again and a sick sneer crossed his lips. First he collected the telescope parts and sent them to Express, the pony who administers evaluations. He sent a letter explaining that the mail pony that had done this was a menace to Ponyville and should be relieved of duty. The next order of business was to ruin the home life Ditzy. If he could accomplish this he could guarantee she would not only fail her evaluation, she would be forced to seek help to fix her wild ways. That was the most important part of the plan. He needed Ditzy to fall so far that she would need to be picked up and re made into a better pony. Overnight of course knew he would have the perfect plan at this point. He would step forward and suggest that Ditzy leave Ponyville for Phillyadelphia and a specialist he knew there. He would be a hero.

Overnight opened the door to the post office while eating his apple and chuckled to himself. He skipped his morning sorting and went into his office. He grabbed a small piece of paper and wrote down the details of Ditzy’s evaluation on it. He walked back out to where the sorting wall was located and tacked up the note under a hook labeled “Derpy”. He read the label and scoffed. “When I finish with her she will never be called that again. No more nick names to express her stupid antics. No she will be recast into something better.” Overnight kept mumbling to himself as he began to sort mail.

“Good morning boss, looking as large and impressive as ever today I see.” The melodious voice belonged to Shipping. “Morning.” The response was simple and hard as iron. Overnight had no time to deal with the strange and over affectionate pegasus this morning. With a huff Overnight finished his sorting and pointed to Shipping’s satchel as he walked back into his office.

Shipping walked over to her satchel and put it on. As she turned to leave a small piece of paper fell to the floor from one of the other mail satchels. She turned to look at it. “Oh. Ditzy will need this, better make sure she gets it.”
As if on cue a grey pegasus mare floated in munching on a carrot muffin.

“Hey there Shipping! It’s a super nice day out; the weather team said they wanted a good one today because the rest of the week is going to be grey and rainy. I never really understood why some days had to be grey, but if we get really nice days like this then I guess its ok.” The words seemed to bubble out of Ditzy as she spoke. It was as if she was speaking out loud to herself rather than with another pony.

“Yes it is going to be a very fine day Ditzy. Before I forget I think this fell from your mail satchel.” Shipping sauntered over to Ditzy and gingerly gave her the note. Ditzy thanked Shipping for the note, and promptly opened it. Ditzy’s eyes fluctuated back and forth trying to read the note. She had to move the note around to keep her eyes focused on it. Ditzy’s face fell into a very sour expression as she began to read the note. She started to shack and tears swelled up in her eyes and she started to sniffle.
“Oh no, I have an evaluation and... it looks like a doozy.” Ditzy’s voice was grave and shacking.
“Oh sweetheart, it’ll be ok, don’t cry. Raindrop and myself will help you out anyway we can. Please don’t fret; your friends are here for you.” Shipping spoke with a sweet voice that felt like a beam of sun cutting through a dark forest. A deep voice came through the door in the next room, “Ms. Doo please come into my office, we must speak about your evaluation.”

Ditzy gulped and looked to Shipping with one eye for comfort.
“It’ll be ok, beautiful, go on in” spoke Shipping with a warm and even voice. Ditzy took a deep breath and trotted into the office.

“Ms.Doo, sit. I suppose you are wondering why I called you in here.” Overnight’s voice was stern and authoritative. He looked onto Ditzy’s eyes, or at least the one focused on him. He went speaking with a stone voice.
“Your evaluation is at the end of this week. I want you to prepare for it. If your fail, you will be fired. No second chances, not one more chance, just fired plain and simple. Tell me Ms.Doo, do you think you are ready for this?”
Ditzy swallowed hard, so hard that her teeth would have gone down her throat if they were loose. Ditzy’s mind began to do laps around her life. What if she was fired? What would she do? Where would she go? Oh by Celestia, what about Dinky? She couldn’t let her down. She looked deep in her own self and thought very hard about what she would answer. She was full of fear, self doubt, and worry. Her mind swam around in her head trying to sort out all these feelings and thoughts. A small light shined out from her heart and she saw them, the faces. Dinky, Golden Harvest, Raindrop, Shipping, and more and more came into view, all of them smiling.
“I….I…I think I can do this. I have the love of my friends and family. They will stand by me and help me through this.”

The words surprised Overnight. They shocked Ditzy even more. Where did that come from she wondered. What’s more, she believed it. Her friends and Dinky had never abandoned here before and they always helped her when she needed them. This was going to be a bit harder than Overnight had originally planned.
“Are you sure?” the cold voice of Overnight said.
“What? Yeah of course I’m sure.”
“Really, do your friends think you can fly well? Do they think you can pass the time trials, or the accuracy tests, or the sorting challenges? No one has asked to fly better or safer?”
Ditzy looked shaken, her mind galloped towards her conversations the day before; her crash in the office to start the day, the tumble of Spike, the concern of Carrot Top. Did she have a problem? What could she do about it? Her face dropped and Overnight knew he was pushing the right buttons.
“I can tell by your face that I am right. Listen to me I am going to try to help you.”
A cruel smile passed the stallion’s lips. Ditzy looked up too late to see it. She had a look of timid hope on her face at the last statement.

“This not going to be easy for you to hear but you must if you are to succeed. You need to grow up. Yesterday your stupid celebration for a muffin of all things broke my window and almost broke you and me. After that, you went to another pony’s home and destroyed her property because you weren’t paying attention. What would have happened if you have hurt Spike? How would have Ms. Twilight Sparkle felt? She would probably never forgive you for it. Her poor baby dragon was bowled over by your crash. What would you have done if he was hurt? What if broke something, what if he had fallen down the steps broken his neck and you murdered him? These are the consequences of your actions. You must be prepared to face them. One day somepony will get hurt by you, Derpy. Yes Derpy, is what they call you when you screw up. Miss Derpy Hooves the biggest mistake in Ponyville. You know they call you that. They think you are dumb enough to think it is a playful nick name. Other ponies think they can mock you to your muzzle and your too much of a scatter brain to figure it out. Your daughter even calls you Derpy at times doesn’t she? Even she thinks her own mother is a joke. I can help you Ditzy, I think you can fix yourself with my help and be better.”

The words all stung deep into Ditzy’s heart. Why did she have to be so careless? Why couldn’t she get it right? Inside of herself she could hear the voices of all her friends saying one name over and over again, Derpy. Was it true? Was she a mistake? Her mind raced to Dinky and all the times she called her Derpy. Her own daughter thought she was a mess up. nothing ever went right. She had almost brought down all of town hall by her careless actions and almost took out Rainbow Dash in the process. The name Rainbow made her mind jump to winter wrap up and the indecent with the southern birds. Every year she was sent out to get the birds, and every year she failed. Why would Rainbow do this if not to humiliate her? Overnight was right, she was a mess and she needed help. She could hear the voice of Dinky in her head calling her Derpy, and felling ashamed of her mother. Ditzy’s wall eyes were starting to fill with tears. In a broken soul splitting voice she sniffled and asked,

“What do I do?”

“For starters stop crying it will change nothing and just wastes time. Next stop playing with children’s toys. I went to your home after work to tell you about your evaluation. You were not in but I saw your yard and talked to your neighbor. Wooden toasters, Saber Spark action figures, and Mic microphone toys are for children. Your daughter is the child not you. You must lead, be the adult, be the mother. You getting down on her level is not going to help you or her. If you’re an irresponsible crash waiting to happen, you will never be able to raise your child properly. She needs a mother not a friend, you cannot be both. When you become your foal's friend you lose being her mother, and then she loses respect for you. If you continue on this path she will stop loving you even. can you love a failure? can you love a mistake? I tell you again Ms. Doo, grow up.”

The words crashed over Ditzy like hot fiery anguish. She felt like a pile of embers rolled over top of her. She was failing her Dinky, her little muffin. If she lost her job Dinky’s life would be ruined. If she hurt somepony on the job, Dinky’s life could be ruined. She was a bad mother and Dinky deserved, no needed better. Ditzy clamped her eyes shut and tried to hold onto all of her tears. If she let Dinky down, then Dinky would not love her anymore. Not love her anymore. the words repeated over and over again her heart. She wanted to be strong, she need to fix this.
“What do I have to do to fix this? I want some help yeah, but I'm not totally sure this is all true Overnight. I think I can handle this."

Overnight sighed and looked into Ditzy's eyes. He know he was breaking through and it was only a matter of time until he had made it all the way down to the inside of Ditzy.
"You maybe right and you may not be, but no matter I will do my best to help you all that i can. Also Express, the pony in charge of your evaluation sent you a letter." Overnight open a drawer in his desk and took out an envelope and slid across the desk top. Ditzy gulped hard again and reached for it.

She tore open the letter and with shacking hooves pulled it out and began to read. her eyes began to water again and she felt a bit of that light from earlier fall out of her. the letter explained how the postal service would have to pay for Twilight Sparkle's telescope and the injuries to Spike the dragon. Injuries!? Spike looked ok when she left. what happened, what did she do? Was Spike hurt....bad? A small dark pit fell into the bottom of her stomach and began to eat away at her insides. The letter explained how upset they were with Ditzy's disregard for safety and for hurting others. The final lines of the letter explained that the evaluation was now going to be very different and very strict.

"Ms.Doo do you require anything?" came a stoney voice into Ditzy's mind as she thought about the letter.
"Oh, what? maybe i could use some help. More than i thought."
"Well then Ms. Doo lets step out side and walk for a bit. I can talk to you on your way home."

The two ponies walked out of the post office and slowly trotted down the street. As the door was closed and locked a few papers slipped out of Overnight's desk and into the trash. Sheets of paper that looked like a very long letter from a one Express pony. The sheets were odd in that they had long sections of words cut out of them and they seemed to be missing. If somepony could have seen these sheets they might have come to the idea that some had forged a letter with them. Sadly the sheets tucked themselves neatly into the trash where nothing would ever find them.

The afternoon was turning into the evening when Ditzy trotted to her door. She was downcast and sour looking. She carried the fate of two worlds on her back and she felt every dream she and Dinky held weighed her down with each step. Her eye’s seemed to be less bright, her mane slightly duller, and her coat had less sheen to it. Ditzy looked at her yard. She saw all the toy still scattered in it. She sighed and started to collect them up onto the stoop. Dinky opened the door and burst out side.
“Hey mom, whatja doing? Oh cleaning up? But we normally do it together, and have fun while doing it, what’s going on?”

The little purple unicorn shot a puzzled look at the pile of toys. She then saw her mother’s eyes. The red puffiness to them, the dried tears under them, and the sadness trapped inside them. Something was bad, really bad.
“What’s wrong mom? What happened? Why are you so sad? How can I help?”

The questions came fast out of Dinky’s mouth. Her mom was in a bad place and she was going to her out of there. She had never seen her mother this sad. This was wrong; her mother was the happiest pegasus in Ponyville! She made mistakes and caused accidents, and even broke things, but her mother made ponies happy! Everypony makes mistakes, but Ditzy Doo made more of them and more often than others, but she was more than her mistakes. She was the living example of determination! How could her mom forget this?

Ditzy slowly looked at her daughter, her little muffin. She motioned for her to go into the house. Dinky looked sadly at her mother before finally trotting inside. Ditzy finished picking up all the toys and placing them in the pile. She scooped them all up and tossed them into the trash can at the front of her house. A door opened behind her.
“Hey Bubbles how was…oh wow what happened to you?” Golden Harvest stopped in her tracks and looked at Ditzy. She had never seen her friend so down. Well as a good friend she was gonna help her out!
“Hello Golden Harvest.”
"Ditzy something got you do...what did you call me? I'm Carrot Top remember? Carrot Top and Bubbles off on another adventure? That's us." Golden Harvest's attempts were going nowhere fast. She could see that Ditzy was not amused or interested in talking. Golden Harvest’s voice was cracking from worry as she spoke. She needed to do something to get through to Ditzy and fast.

“I don't need anything from you Golden Harvest. I am gonna head inside and talk with Dinky for a bit.” Ditzy trundled half way to the door and stopped. She instead turned back around and trotted next to Golden Harvest.
"Now that you mention it there is one thing you can do for me."Golden Harvest's eyes shot open and her mouth hung open.
"Anything Ditzy, please let me help."
"If your not doing anything for the rest of the week please watch Dinky for me. She deserves to be with a good pony for once. A pony who isn't a klutz and could hurt her by mistake."

Ditzy didn't wait for a response, she just went inside and closed the door behind her. A very shocked and stunned Golden Harvest was left outside.
“I have to go find Raindrop, NOW!”
The sound of thunderous hooves was all that could be heard, as Golden Harvest stormed off to find Ditzy’s coworker.

Comments

[Mystery Skulls]

Wow I want to kill that guy I mean I would I would kill him as my OC!

[DreadedCandiru2]

Great. If she reacts like a real pony and tries to kill herself, it'll be her fault for being weak and not his for being a jackass. (And I apologize to the jackasses of Ponyville.)

[canius]

Dont Pick on Derpy hes my hero

[User_Name555]

Rain by Hollywood Undead fits pretty well here

[Commander9067]

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!. on and canius ditzy is a mare :/

[Nightshade Dawn]

Derpy is the best mare ever she is nice, funny, and cute. I wish I could be Dinky so she could be my mom. And I am a GUY!