The New Dawn

by gjhorst

Chapter 1 - Princess Platinum

Chapter One - Princess Platinum

Princess Platinum sat upon a gilded throne with the eastern window at her back. Ahead she could see the full moon coming to rest over the heads of her nobility. Even with the throne room lit with torches in every sconce, it was dismally dark. Normally, she wouldn’t be caught dead being awake at this ungodly hour, but this was to be the event that would cement her place in the annals of history forever. It was important for such things to be done right. Powerful nobles from the other houses stood waiting below the raised table, murmuring and whispering to each other as young fillies would in the schoolyard. If only those foals from the other tribes would get here; she could only have the dawn delayed for so long, and everything had to be absolutely positively perfect for this moment. Leaning over to her hoofservent, she whispered, “What is taking those cretins so long?”

“I know not, Milady,” the servant muttered humbly.

Between forced teeth in a forced smile Princess Platinum angrily whispered, “Then perhaps a certain hoofservent should go and find out why his lady has been kept waiting before he finds himself pulling back to back shifts in the solar tower? Hmmm?”

Her servant’s face went pale as he stammered out a, “Yes, Milady.” Just as he was rushing out to find their honored guests, the trumpets sounded and the grand gilded doors to the great throne room swung open, revealing the whole of the earth pony envoy that had braved the climb up the mountain to Canterlot Castle.

“Oh gods,” Platinum thought as she maintained a regal smile, “The dirt ponies came naked.” Indeed the whole lot of the hornless freaks had come clad in nothing save a few hats and scarves. At their head, their leader wore a strange puffy hat made of the tackiest brown cloth. She knew that this stupid hat represented the office of High Chancellor to these dirt ponies. “Chancellor Puddinghead,” she choked out as he ascended the raised dais, “It is good to see you once more.”

Puddinghead; If ever there was a name that less aptly described the pony affixed to it, it was his. It was easy for Platinum to see how this one time confectioner had become the ‘duly elected’ leader of all the dirt ponies. He exuded a presence about him that could in one moment command and in another console. From what her spies had said he had a strong voice apt to giving speeches and was difficult to rouse in a debate. At the same time, at the bargaining table he was shrewder than even the most blackhearted bussinessmare, as she had seen more than once when debating the damnable agreements for this alliance. She had given up more than she had liked to this stallion, but she knew the choicest gems were still hers.

“I still don’t see why we have to go through all this ceremony, Platinum.” He left off her title again, just as he did every time they spoke. She knew he did it just to irk her. “I feel like some actor on a stage.” Not this again. When she had suggested the ceremonial signing of this constitution, they had suggested they do it in some field, down in the mud no less! Where “Everypony could gather ‘round” and “see it in the glory of the Earth which nurtured all of creation,” the heathen dust mites. The thought of even letting her carefully manicured hooves near such grimy filthy muck made her shudder.

“We have been over that Chancellor,” at least a dozen times now she added in her head. “It is for the good of our citizens so they know how important this agreement is for all ponies. You couldn't expect the birth of our glorious nation to have less fanfare than the birth of a newborn foal now could you?”

“I suppose,” Puddinghead acquiesced as he sat down at the great table before the crowd, “Still doesn't all this seem a bit much? A proclamation at first dawn of a new year still sounds mighty... symbolic.” She knew what he had meant instead of symbolic however. He had meant mystic, arcane, magical. He was still wary of the art, she knew all those dirt foals were. They still saw it as wild and unpredictable and dangerous. They still saw it from their crazy shamen with their unpredictable tonics, as liable to kill as it was to cure. They saw magic as something one did not mess with, even something so simple as ceremony.

Superstitious foals, the lot of them. The unification of a race long splintered before living memory was a magnificent event and one that deserved all the splendor that could be afforded. To be free of this war and cure the blight cast over them by the Windigos had required a unified friendship, or so her chief adviser had said. Clover wasn’t it? She must have felt herself so clever when she and those other two found their friendship capable of fending off the ethereal beasts who had caused all this snow and ice.

It may have been her idea to unite the three races of ponies, but it was Princess Platinum who had made it happen. She prided herself on that. After all, why did one need to enslave the dirt farmers when one could simply trade their already needed services for food. After all, no pony could live without the Sun and it was the unicorns and their Celestial Mechanics who made sure that it rose and set as necessary. Thats how it had been for centuries, ever since Sunlight the Dark had forged the Crystalline Spheres that allowed them to guide the Sun and the Moon.

There was a tapping on the great glass window behind her. She turned in her ornate throne to see the one pidgeon who Clover had become so enamored with hesitatingly tapping. “Do they intend to enter through the window?” thought the Princess. When no pony moved, Platinum cried out, “Well... let him in!” A servant scrambled to rush over and open the window. A rush of cold windy air rushed through the hall as Private Pansy fluttered in, adorned in dress armor.

Pansy stood by the door and cried out, “Announcing her Lord High Commander of the Great Cloud City Pegasopolis and leader of the Seven Rainbow Swords, Commander Hawker Hurricane!” Then Pansy pulled out this ridiculously large horn and blew out a deep brassy note, that sounded not unlike a certain bodily function.

“Serves the blowhard right,” smirked Platinum as the Grand High General herself flew in wearing the brightest, shiniest set of armor she imagined the old gal could lift. Hurricane was old by anypony’s standards, but in her youth she had united the pegasus warbands under a single rainbow banner through force. It had been so much simpler to get weather back in those days, if the local brigands became too uppity, simply find some other tribe and trick them to kill and take over their territory. But once they had united under that prismatic mare, they could collude for more tribute, and turn their extensive military groundward. More than once during her childhood, Platinum had been forced into the crystal mines while her father’s castle was bombarded during the war, all thanks to this mare.

The years were starting to show on the old gal, the hues which had once been song of had faded to a hint of their former glory. Her frame was wiry and thin, yet dense muscle still coursed underneath. She had several scars which coursed across her body, displayed like medals. When the grey bird finally landed, Platinum could see the stiffness in her walk. Undoubtedly she was slowing in her old age. The dull clop of unshorn hooves resounded through the hall as the rest of the band landed and took up positions near their window entrance, wing blades clinking against their plate.

“Commander Hurricane,” as Platinum rose from her throne to greet the rusty pidgeon, “it is good of you to finally come. I was worried you had died and I’d have to bargain with some other.” Perhaps “hope” was a better term. “What did take you so long?”

“I wait for no mare,” Hurricane replied with a predicative smile, “I figured you two would be good enough to wait for me, as I see you have.” Hurricane stiffly sat down next to Puddinghead and at last the signing could begin.

If it weren't for Puddinghead. “I thought we had agreed to come unarmed. What do you mean by this Hurricane?”

Hurricane shrugged, “I’ve never seen a Unicorn remove their horn for one of these meetings, why should a Pegasus Knight remove their blades?”

Platinum’s first instinct was to have her stallions silence the parrot for once and for all, but instead she took a deep breath, “I sure the Commander meant no offense by this, Chancellor. I’m certain that such an insult was merely a slip up of forgetfulness. After all, why would she give up such a generous opportunity for her ponies?” Even a rabid diamond dog could be bribed with a big enough jewel.

Hurricane paused a moment, then slowly uttered, “Yes, my apologies, Chancellor. I meant no insult to you or the Princess. It was merely meant for protection for my entourage. There are still foul beasts on this mountain.” The way Hurricane looked at Platinum left no mystery as to which foul beasts she spoke of. “The air currents are just so... treacherous around the peaks.”

It was at this point three ponies walked forward to the table. Clover, Smart Cookie, and Pansy stood with a large roll of paper held in Clover’s indigo aura. This ceremonial speech had been worked out between them to ensure that each of the pony tribes would receive a fair representation in the proceedings. The three spoke in unison, “We three present to you, the leaders of the whole of Ponydom, an Alliance forged,”

“By Hoof,” announced Cookie.

“By Wing,” echoed Pansy.

“And by Horn,” finished Clover.

They spoke in unison, with a cohesiveness that blended their voices into one. The scroll was unrolled and spread across the table. Its clear hornwriting spelled out the agreed rules of their alliance in plain Equestrian. “As your first Equestrian Council we have written these words in oath to unity and friendship between our ponies. To this oath of unity do you swear?”

Puddinghead stood first, beating out the aged Hurricane, “I, Chancellor Puddinghead, Son of Trifle, do swear by the good green earth.”

Hurricane, clearly miffed that she had not gone first, stood and practically yelled, “I, Grand High Commander of the Great Cloud City Pegasopolis and dutiful head of the Seven Rainbow Swords, Commander Hawker Hurricane, do swear by the open blue sky!” My, did she love to hear herself talk. Could she have added any other titles,or did she just run out of breath?

Finally Platinum stood, “And I, Princess Platinum Tiara, Lord over all of Unicornia, do swear on all the stars in the sky.”

The council smiled as all three left their mark at the bottom of the document, now a constitution. As one, the three friends said. “We three welcome the dawning of this new age of Equestria.”

That was the cue, Platinum knew, for a servant to signal the Solar tower. There the Crystalline Spheres would be activated by the hundreds of Unicorns and the Sun would crest over the eastern horizon where it had been held. So it was odd when the first rays of light did not immediately appear behind her, filling the entire hall with her dazzling glory.

In its place, a wind began to pick up within the great hall. Platinum looked to the Pagasopolin soldiers but saw them still holding their rigid military stillness. Then there was a sudden pulse of power which knocked back the six from the raised table. Falling backwards over her throne, Platinum righted herself behind the toppled chair. What had been a wind had risen to a horrendous gale. Ponies cried out and guards moved to protect their charges. Above the table where the Constitution still rested serenely, a sudden piercing bright light emerged from nowhere. The little yellow star cast a heat more powerful than any fire Platinum had ever seen. The edges of the great wooden table began to smolder and blacken and great bolts of white lightning cast out and stuck the floors and walls, creating great booms of thunder which broke the great glass windows of the opulent halls.

Everypony had huddled down, shards of glass flying through the air. Guards struggled to approach the maelstrom of energies to protect the three leaders. Platinum shouted for somepony, but her words were lost in the terrible noise of it. The wind became stronger and stronger and Platinum hid under her throne. She closed her eyes and shouted for help. But no pony could hear her, no pony could reach her. “I’m too important to die!” cried out the princess.

Suddenly, the wind and lightning stopped. Debris dropped to the ground suddenly as the air gained an eerie stillness. All that was left was she sound of whimpering and cries as ponies carefully looked out from their hiding spots. Platinum looked over her throne, her Crown askew and bent.

Standing atop the table was an equine mare as bright as the noonday sun and seemingly made of white hot iron. Her mane and tail were of orange flames which licked across her body to an unseen wind. She was easily three times as tall as the greatest stallions, and yet as graceful as the most silken of dancers. Wide wings longer than chariots spread from her back, and a long tapering horn sprouted from the mare’s forehead. Just above, she wore a golden crown set with flawless red rubies that matched with the chestplate set around her graceful neck. Each of her long legs was shorn in solid gold shoes which ran up to her ankles. She stood there looking about, blinking with bright yellow eyes. When her gaze finally met Platinum’s, a smile crept across her muzzle. With a tremendous voice which bellowed louder than a dragon’s roar she said, “GREETINGS MY LITTLE PONIES! I AM CELESTIA SOLARIUS, RADIANT LIGHT OF THE SUN! I AM YOUR NEW DIARCH!”

The puny little pony princess huddling behind her broken throne had only one thought at that exact moment. “Oh buck me.”

Author's Note:

I would like to thank my friends for the inspiration to start this story and the assistance in writing it. As a first time writer, comments would be appreciated.

-gjhorst

Comments

[raindrops sparkle]

um this princess= ? idk what your talking about

[Chief Big Tree]

"everything to be absolutely absolutely perfect"
-Double word.

"Just as he was rushing out to find their honored guests, the trumpets sounded and the grand gilded doors to the great throne room swung opened, revealing the whole of the earth pony envoy that had braved the climb up the mountain to Canterlot Castle."
-Wow. That took some brain power to truck through. You have quite the run-on sentence here.

"Not this again. When she had suggested to..."
-If the 'not this again' was a thought by Princess Platinum, put it in italics. I see that you know that thoughts are in italics already, but you may have missed it here.

That's most of the grammar and spelling mistakes I could find. Let's dig in!
-------------------------

The portrayal of the three leaders are quite good! The snootiness of Princess Platinum, the some-what goofiness of Chancellor Pudding Head, and the pridefulness (that even a word?) of Commander Hurricane were spot on.

The writing style that you have is very nice, as well. Thoughts into the character's minds, some background information, and more!

The pacing that the story is at is brisk and clean. Maybe a smidgen quick, but that's probably just me. Nice cliffhanger, by the way. I had the feeling something like that would happen towards the end of the chapter. (Was that Celestia?)

The chapter, in terms of spelling and grammar and all that, could use some tweaks and corrections. There weren't too many that were hugely visible (aside from the double 'absolutely' in the beginning). If you need one, I could fill in as an editor for this story.

Overall, this story is off to a pretty good start! There's not much more I can say, really. I'll be keeping an eye on this one. Pretty nice for your first story.

[gjhorst]

1888330

Thank you for the notes, I'll fix those right now. I already have a editor but I wanted to get this first chapter up for the new year so I skipped him and went right to publish.

1888214

IDK what you're talking about

[Chief Big Tree]

1888461 Ah, that's quite alright.

I believe Raindrops Sparkle is referring to the Princess Platinum that Rarity played in the Hearth's Warming Eve episode. I think he's/she's asking if the Princess Platinum in the story is the Princess Platinum in the episode.

[raindrops sparkle]

1888461 in hearths warming eve i guess that was raritys name?.

[gjhorst]

1893335

Rairity was playing the role of Princess Platinum.

[raindrops sparkle]

1894717 yup yup.

[Dusty Sage]

Oh, I do love this opening.