Chapter 1: They Arrive
“Agh...” The gray-blue pony groaned. “Why is this taking so long?”
“Don’t complain so much,” his royal blue companion sighed, slapping a hoof to his face, “It was your idea to move to here.”
“My idea?” The first pony snapped, turning to his companion. “You’re the one who agreed to it!”
The second pony was speechless for a moment. “... That makes so little sense I don’t even have a reply for it.” His hoof met his face once more.
The two were an odd looking duo. One was a gray-blue earth pony with mechanical wings added on, a dark green mane and tail with hints of a lighter hue of green, and a cutie mark of a quill dipped into an ink jar full of blood. What made this pony stand out were the two dark red horns just above his ears, resembling small tornadoes, and his strange light blue eyes.
The other pony was more normal-looking; a royal blue unicorn pony with yellow hair, streaked with brown, and a pair of black glasses resting in front of his hazel eyes. His cutie mark was that of a cobalt blue shield emblazoned with a golden R, overlapping a microphone.
“Oh no...” the first pony groaned yet again. “My comebacks are turning into yours, Filter. Very horrible.”
“Oh don’t start it!” Filter, or rather Pop Filter, snapped. “I have plenty to complain about you as well, Quill!”
“Like what?” Quill, or his full name Blood Quill, shouted back, face twisting into a familiar scowl.
Filter rolled his eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. The fact that you never shut up, never listen to me, and start pointless arguments? Pick any one of ‘em.”
“I rather like my ability to start pointless arguments, thank you very much!” Quill retorted. “It gives us something to talk about!”
“We talk about everything. Pointless arguments aren’t even a good conversation starter.” Filter continued walking on, thinking said pointless argument was over. Not willing to let him go so easily, Quill flew up in front of him. “Careful, Quill. I can stab you with my horn if you get that close.”
“I could easily get out of your reach, dumbass,” Quill snorted.
“How have we gone from arguing over moving ideas to the reach of my horn?” Filter suddenly questioned, anger leaving his face to be replaced by confusion.
Quill shrugged. “You brought it up.” To add insult to injury, Quill flapped his wings once and flew back an easy four feet, away from the blue unicorn.
Filter ignored this action and kept moving, walking past his flying friend. Quill sighed, unable to get much of a reaction out of him, landing to continue their trek.
“Just trying to make casual conversation.” Quill rolled his eyes. “Obviously something you don’t want to do.”
Filter shrugged. “Honestly, I just want to get to Ponytown or whatever it’s called. We’ve been walking for a couple hours now.”
“Wuss,” Quill muttered, then added, “And it’s Ponyville.”
“Whatever.”
“There is a difference!”
Filter groaned. “Of course the author is the one who’s super picky about grammar.”
“Because you’re innocent yourself in that department.”
“...Touché.”
The two continued in silence for a while. Gradually, the skyline of a small village rose in the distance. Filter hopped in joy and picked up speed, seeing his goal in sight.
“Hey! This isn’t a school field trip, this is to get our new house, idiot!” Quill shouted after him, though he himself was quite happy as well.
“So because we’re going to our new home, we have to go there at a turtle’s pace? I don’t think so!” Filter yelled back, not slowing down. Quill flared his wings and began gliding to catch up.
“Listen! If we enter Ponyville skipping around like ten-year-old fillies, we’re gonna get a reputation as the village idiots faster than we should. At least take time to earn that title, okay?“ Quill caught up and glared down at Filter, but smiling as well. Filter returned the look and slowed down slightly.
“Good point. I don’t want to take your job.”
The smile vanished from Quill’s face. “I’m not the idiot. I’m the killer.”
Filter shuddered. “Yeah, bring that up again...I still have nightmares from when you told me about that.”
Quill’s eyes slowly softened, and he glided down until he was next to his friend. “Hey, I don’t like it any more than you do... but the past is the past. Look at the future.” He indicated the slightly larger town with a hoof. “This is a new start for us.”
Filter squinted. “All I see is yellow roofs.” He took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth before sliding them back on. “...nope, still just roofs.”
Quill sighed. “Try contacts, maybe.” He shoved Filter with his shoulder, knocking the unicorn onto the ground. “Whoops, didn’t mean to do it that hard.”
“That’s what she said,” Filter replied as he stood up. Quill shoved him down again. “I had to!”
“Had to?” Quill shook his head. “You chose to. There’s a difference! Choosing to do something is entirely different from-”
Filter shoved a hoof in Quill’s mouth. “Shut up.” He removed his hoof and shook it dry, chuckling lightly.
Quill turned away and resumed walking. “Come on. No more wasting time.”
“You started it.”
“...are we five years old, now?”
“You know, sometimes I actually wonder if our brains are aging slower than our bodies,” Filter replied sincerely. “Especially with you.”
“Me? I’m the one who does all the talking for us. You just nod and stand five feet away.” Quill rolled his eyes. “Not only that, but who’s the author in this group?”
“And who’s the one who is actually known for something other than murder?” Filter sniped back.
“You’re known?”
“...I repeat: Touché.”
“But getting back on topic,” Quill continued. “We need to see this...” He pulled a sheet of paper out of nowhere and squinted at it for a moment. “Mayor Mare and get our house key.”
“Mayor Mare? Please tell me you made that up.”
“Nope.”
Filter, not for the first time, fell face first into the ground.
“You’re one to talk, you four-eyed wimp!” Quill shouted, flaring his wings.
“Oh yeah? Well, I’d rather be the one who uses a horn for magic rather than murder!” Filter shot back.
“We don’t discuss that in public!” Quill rose into the air, eyes gleaming. Filter cowered, but regained his composure quickly.
“Hey!” The two turned to see a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie mark approach. “Calm down, you two, before I call the Royal Guards over here!”
Filter blinked in confusion. “...Royal Guards? Over an argument?”
The stallion looked back and forth between the duo. “An...argument?”
“What, you think we’ll fight?” Quill raised an eyebrow. “No, this happens all the time.” He and Filter laughed at the misunderstanding.
The stallion looked perplexed, but at least he calmed down. “Well...that’s good, I guess.”
“Say, do you know where the town hall is?” Quill asked before the stallion could run off. “We just got to town.”
The stallion blinked, then started slightly, as if surprised by the sudden turn of events. “Oh. Town hall? It’s that way.” He pointed down the street to a three-story building with a sloped conical roof.
“Thanks.” Quill nodded, and he continued towards the building, Filter following behind him. The stallion stared after them before shaking his head and walking off.
Quill opened the doors and strode in confidently, head held high. Filter followed behind with a much different demeanor, looking around as if expecting something to jump out at him; a stark contrast to his personality from mere moments ago. When he was convinced it was safe, he picked up the pace, but never looked up from the floor.
“So, Mayor Mare! We’re here for our house key!” Quill shouted at the important looking pony in the room.
The mare at the receptionist’s desk looked up, startled. “Um...who are you?” she asked.
“I’m Blood Quill, a new resident of Ponyville,” the semi-pegasus declared. The receptionist looked at Filter, who interested himself with the wallpaper. “...and that’s Pop Filter.”
The receptionist stared a moment. “Alright then, let me check for your records.” She flipped through a few pages on a clipboard then handed it over with her magic. “Here you go! Just sign here.”
“Thanks.” Quill took the clipboard and pulled a quill out of nowhere. He wrote his name on a line and turned to Filter. “Hey. We need to sign this.”
Filter shot him a look that read I know that, dumbass before taking the quill in his magical hold. He signed his own name and passed the clipboard back to the receptionist. Quill took his writing utensil back and stored it away in wherever he kept his things.
“Alright then. Your house should be- oh...” The receptionist paused. Quill raised an eyebrow suspiciously.
“What?” He asked, leaning forwards. The mare stammered a reply.
“Th-th-the house is-”
“I don’t have time for this! Come on, Filter, we’ll check it for ourselves.” Quill turned and walked out quickly, not looking back.
Filter looked out after his friend leaving, then back at the receptionist. “Sorry about him,” he offered. “He gets like that...I better go make sure he doesn’t do anything worse.” He cantered out at a high speed; partially to find Quill and partially to avoid any more conversation. The receptionist simply sighed.
“They never listen...” she muttered to herself as she resumed her work.
Quill stood in shock and stared up at the house. It was two stories high, looking just recently built and freshly painted. It would have been a good house, except for the fact that...
“The roof is caved in...” Quill whispered, then turned to his friend. “The roof is caved in, Filter.”
“I can see that,” Filter said, having a little less of a reaction.
“The roof is caved in!” Quill shouted, grabbing Filter by the shoulders and shaking him. Filter pried him off and stared him in the eyes.
“I. Can. See. That,” he declared.
“Why did nopony warn us?” Quill asked.
“...Well, remember that receptionist who was trying to tell us something?” Filter said, remembering. Quill nodded slowly, then the realization struck.
What followed was only described by witnesses as the longest stream of cuss words ever spoken by a pony in town.
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This RLYoshi guy you collabed with sounds like a total idiot.
1837698 I have no clue who he is. He must be a horrible little man.
1837698>>1837758
He's worse. Sort of like a toad.
1837769 This one?
biglargehuge.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Our-Princess-is-in-Another-Castle.jpg
1837784
Nah. This one:
pumushi.com/kaeru2.jpg
I rightfully demand moar!
1837858
You will get moar when we decide to publish the next chapter.
1837791 Fat? Either way is better than my idea.
How is it that you and RLYoshi managed to perfectly recreate my relationship with my best friend without having met either one of us before?
There is some weird stuff going on. Lol.
1843883
It's my relationship with him, and vice versa.
1843883 It's the same relationship we have, pretty much. Pop Filter is me; shy and quiet around others, unless they're friends, in which case I become more cheerful, albeit sarcastic. Blood Quill is Mobius; outspoken and funny, though not without a caring side. We troll each other, we have fun with each other, and we look out for each other.
1838098
Thanks. At least one chapter got a good response. Time to see what the others will bring.
1846411>>1843883
Why'd you have to say it better than me?
1847013 Because.
1847022
You said you were leaving about an hour ago
Speaking of, why are you awake?
1847030 OH CRAP I'VE BEEN FOUND.
Partamos!