• Published 21st Dec 2012
  • 2,866 Views, 22 Comments

My Little Commie: Socialism is Magic - My Little Commie



A pony named Joseph Stallion overthrows the tsarist regime of Equestria, and installs in its place the Poniet Union. Follows the adventures of both him and the mane six in this new society.

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The Fall of Equestria

Equestria was once a land dominated by a system of hierarchy. The Royal Family ruled over all others, enforcing their laws upon the lesser ponies. Members of this regal clan, known as alicorns, possessed the abilities of every one of the lower groups. This superior class consisted of ponies such as the Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence. Directly under them existed two distinct classes: the pegasi and the unicorns. Each of these subsidiaries maintained one, and only one, aspect of the ruling force; the pegasi possessed wings with which they could fly, and the unicorns received the gift of horns, giving them the ability to utilize magic. Both of these classes saw the other as relative equals, but they both exercised dominance over the third and weakest class.

Earth ponies, originally considered the least powerful force in Equestria, lived a life of servitude. Having neither wings nor horns, earth ponies were easily subjugated by the other classes, forced to harvest the goods required to sustain life while their superiors lounged about and accomplished very little. The pegasi argued that their regulation of rain clouds assisted the growth of crops, though the act took very little time out of their lives and required minimal amounts of effort. Unicorns did provide assistance in removing the harsh and desolate effects of winter, but only in areas where concentrated populations of the upper class existed. In rural and agricultural areas, where the helpful aspects of spring were needed most, they used various methods such as their puppets in government to create the ideology that winter must be removed with hard labor, and that the use of magic would break tradition. This only increased the burden laid upon the backs of the laboring force.

This lowest class vastly outnumbered every other group, and could easily have led a successful resistance against the ruling forces. In fact, some earth ponies formed rebellions and went forward against their oppressors, but they were ultimately decimated. The prime factor in their defeat was the lack of unity or leadership needed to bring all earth ponies together in one glorious and victorious rebellion. For many years, forces rose to power for a short time, finding many willing volunteers amongst the ponytariat, but these groups experienced defeat at the hands of the upper class. The alicorns of the Royal Family proved to be extremely influential in pressing ponies onwards against their enemies.


One of the greatest opportunities for the laboring class came when a group of twenty agitated farmers began protesting in the city of Baltimare over unjust prices for their crops. Their chants brought more and more rioters, who filled the streets of the once peaceful city within a week. Violence soon followed. Stores were stripped clean, ponies robbed, buildings vandalized. The city’s government sent a letter to Celestia, demanding that the Royal Military be sent in to silence the rebels. Upon receiving the plea, the princess proceeded to place it in a nearby garbage container. And so, violence grew in Baltimare as the number of rioters broke 9,000 after only a few weeks. That trend, however, ended when a unicorn in the city was stabbed and killed by a band of earth ponies. The Royal Family, outraged at the act, ordered the military into the city; the rioters had gone too far.

One bright day in spring, as protesters marched up and down the streets, a large mass obstructed the sun. The world became black. Startled, the farmers looked to the sky. Those who weren’t afraid at first surely became so as they realized the large mass was in fact a military force consisting of over 15,000 pegasi, who quickly surrounded the city. Below, mass hysteria ensued. With darkness enveloping them, ponies struggled to find their way around the city.

A pegasus flew over the center of the city and boomed “By order of Her Majesty, we order you to disperse. Lack of compliance will not be tolerated.” Receiving no response from those below, he signaled the forces outside of the city, which immediately began flying in a circle around the city. Around and around they went, faster and faster until the speed of the pegasi grew so great that a tornado manifested. This destructive force swept many of the rioters off their hooves, propelling them hundreds of feet into the air before spewing them out in every direction, sending them spiraling to their deaths. Within a few moments, what had once been a sizeable force of revolutionaries became a city of corpses. The silence of death enveloped the city as the pegasi, satisfied with their work, flew back to their homeland to report their success to the princess. The silence quickly became replaced with the wails of survivors leaving their shelter to find thousands of corpses strewn throughout the streets. Ponies were impaled on lampposts. The fountains in the city ran red with blood. Bodily parts and internal organs coated the ground. The sight became too much to bear, and many fell to the floor, utterly shocked that somepony could give the orders to such an atrocity.

The brutality at the Riot of Baltimare successfully quenched the hopes of the earth ponies. The lower class knew any further resistance would either receive no support or would be crushed by the military might of the Royal Family. Many firmly believed that there would be no chance for reform, and all hope vanished. However, the massacre at Baltimare simultaneously kindled a small fire in the hearts of every earth pony, that of a deep hatred for their oppressive rulers, and it only required some hero to feed the fire and bloom it into a raging firestorm that would fuel the revolution that would overthrow the oppressive ruling class.


This hero came in the form of an earth pony who arose from the masses during a particularly brutal winter, uniting the ponytariat under one banner. This patriotic leader bore the name Joseph Stallion. The blood red pony’s cutie mark was a sickle crossed over a hammer, symbolizing the tools of the working class. His jet-black hair and iconic moustache gave him the look of a leader, and many soon followed his teachings. He proposed an insurrection against the upper class, as they had restricted the rights of many by being granted abilities others were not able to have as well. The revolutionary gave incredibly convincing speeches on varying subjects, though each and every speech he gave related in some way to establishing and maintaining equality for all ponies. Stallion was quoted as declaring “You cannot have friendship until all ponies can have friendship.”

During one of his speeches, a pony by the name of Vladimare Lenin caught Stallion’s eye. The radical had identical beliefs to Stallion, making him the perfect candidate for second-in-command. He was also very outspoken, and he showed no fear of the Royal Family or their constituents. Upon receiving an invitation to join the leader, Lenin graciously accepted and accompanied his newfound companion to inspire others. Traveling from city to city, this visionary collected recruits for his cause across all of Equestria. In less than a year, he had amassed a formidable force that was unparalleled in all the land.

This action did not go unnoticed in the upper class; Princess Celestia issued an order instructing all able-bodied ponies to gather at Canterlot in its defense. The Royal Family did not anticipate an attack, but they felt as though their lives were worth protecting. Most of the pegasi and unicorns answered the call, and though they had fewer numbers than their opposition, they certainly had the advantage in terms of capability. According to Celestia’s battle plan, the rebels would not be able to withstand combined magic and aerial attacks.

Stallion’s teachings of equality, in the meantime, gathered more and more soldiers in his army until he firmly believed that their forces would crush the enemy. His men will untrained and ill-equipped, but they would have to do. It was his belief that casualties would be immense, but progress could not be made without sacrifice.

Stallion marched his forces to the gates of Canterlot, and it became clear that the upper class was going to fight to defend their traditional pattern of superiority. On the morning of a mid-October day, Stallion sent a messenger into Canterlot to ask for the Royal Family’s surrender. If they had surrendered the city over to the insurrectionists, no blood would have been spilled that day, and the transition of power to the ponytariat would have been smooth and painless. Instead, as an answer to Joseph Stallion’s request, he received the severed head of his messenger. Concluding that there would be no reasoning with the brutes, Stallion signaled the assault and moved into position at the front of the ranks. In no more than a year and a half since the beginning of Joseph’s rise to power, the revolution would come to a climax.


The defenses established by the upper class were immense. Pegasi maneuvered the clouds above the earth pony’s position, creating intense thunderstorms, which, in theory, would be very effective at demoralizing those under them. The unicorns created several magical barriers, which would require immense strength to power through. According to Royal logic, these two factors alone would be enough to halt the progress of Stallion’s army. Unfortunately for the Family, they severely underestimated the determination of the earth ponies. Relatively unaffected by the storm, the invasion force advanced at a rapid pace at Stallion’s urging. Upon reaching the defensive barriers, Stallion and his soldiers simultaneously slammed themselves against the wall with all their might. One by one, the walls cracked and crumbled under the sheer power of the ponies. The castle gates were then crushed with similar ease, and the formation progressed into the lower streets of Canterlot.

Determined to defend their city, the upper class soldiers began to form ranks in preparation for the advancing enemy. The Royal Guard, armed with deadly spears, formed their dreaded phalanx formation at the front line while the pegasi flew over the earth ponies, bombarding them with boulders as they pressed onwards. Seeing this, Vladimare Lenin suggested that they press against the allies of the pegasi, as the aerial combatants would likely refrain from continued aerial assault with the two forces in close proximity.

Stallion sounded the charge, and his peasant army galloped towards the phalanx as fast as they physically could. A wild fury burned in the eyes of those charging, and even the Royal Guard grew unsteady as they viewed the sheer determination of the attackers. The earth ponies slammed into the phalanx at full speed, with devastating results. The insurrectionists were poorly armed, typically only carrying whatever farm tools they had acquired on their property. The first few rows were initially crushed mercilessly by the defenders, but as more and more waves pressed fearlessly into the battle, the formation slowly began to falter. Shields began to break; spears got caught in the bodies of their targets and were lost. Vladimare’s gamble succeeded; the aerial combatants, worried about hitting their own targets, halted their attack and simply flew about the sky, waiting for some change in events. Gradually, the defense was beaten further and further back, until a gap appeared in the center of the formation. Earth ponies immediately poured through the opening and surrounded the Royal Guard. From there, it was only a matter of minutes before their numbers were nonexistent.

With the phalanx destroyed, pegasi once again commenced bombardment of the rebels. However, many of the earth ponies armed themselves with the shields and spears of fallen soldiers, and they were easily able to deflect projectiles by holding shields over their heads as they advanced. Seeing that their efforts were futile, the pegasus forces retreated into the heart of Canterlot for the final stage of their defense.

Without anyone to hold them at bay, the invasion force proceeded undeterred further into the city. Meanwhile, defensive measures were being taken in one last effort to prevent total annihilation. Though the ponies skilled in fighting were few, as most of them were part of the phalanx, unicorns could still wreak havoc with magic if it was used properly. The garrison of unicorns stationed themselves in the throne room, ready to use magic as the final line of defense. Pegasus forces prepared themselves for a desperate move to buy time for the unicorns, coming to the conclusion that it was either victory or death in pursuit of it.

The sight Stallion’s forces were greeted with when they approached the central plaza of Canterlot was frightening; the entirety of the pegasus armies were arrayed before them, and before the rebels could react, a horn sounded and the pegasi commenced a winged charge. With superior speed and maneuverability, they would easily dominate the earth ponies in open, unorganized space. However, Stallion ordered his troops into a tight defensive circle, forcing the enemy into close range, where they were easily picked apart by spears. Wings could not be armored, as metal plating on the fragile extremities prevented flight, making them the weak spot of a pegasus unit. Countless aerial soldiers spiraled out of control and crashed as the cold steel of insurrectionist spears pierced their wings. It appeared that the city would fall into the hands of Joseph Stallion.

Determined to hold off the attackers, the Royal Family sent forth the Wonderbolts - the most elite unit of cavalry available - to help turn the tide of the battle. Upon seeing the legendary ponies, the pegasi rejoiced and fought with renewed vigor, simultaneously diminishing the morale of the rebels. The Wonderbolts dashed into the ranks of peasants, bowling a line of them over, simultaneously creating a pathway through which other pegasi could flood. The fighting quickly became more widespread as the rebels were pushed outwards from the middle of their formation. The rebels, untrained in the art of war, fell in vast quantities to the winged ponies, who could attack from any direction without warning. With the Wonderbolt leader, Spitfire, spearheading the pegasi, defeat for Stallion seemed imminent.

Seeing this, the revolutionary leader devised a plan that he believed would allow them to conquer their foes. After finding Vladimare Lenin on the battlefield and briefly explaining it to him, Stallion placed his companion in charge and ordered his ponies to retreat to the exterior of the city and set up a perimeter. Joseph Stallion, however, stayed behind and surrendered himself to the city’s defenders, who proceeded to take him prisoner. Sensing some kind of trap, Princess Celestia refused to see him immediately and instead placed him in the castle’s dungeons for three excruciatingly long days. It is common belief that Celestia and Luna in fact slowed the process of raising and lowering the sun and moon, creating the span much longer than normal. Stallion received little in terms of sustenance during that time, but he survived the period through sheer willpower, at times having to resort to devouring whatever life form crawled into his cell.

During this time, however, Stallion’s plan was developing perfectly. Lenin dispatched several mining teams into the caves below Canterlot with orders to dig a tunnel below the throne room. Once in position, the teams were to place several sets of explosives along the ceiling. The rebel forces were also reinforced by a large garrison of war-trained ponies from Baltimare, who had heard of Stallion’s military exploit and wished to partake in glorious battle. From there, everypony surrounding the castle poured into the cave system under the cover of night, undetected by the supposed ‘victors’ in Canterlot. In the eyes of the Royal Family, it appeared that the rabble had dispersed and returned to their homes in defeat. However, a magical barrier was once again established around the city in the event that it was simply a ruse. What the upper classes were unaware of was the fact that Lenin and his ponies were already in the caves under the city, waiting for proper moment to strike.


Finally the day arrived where Joseph Stallion was brought before Princesses Celestia, Luna and Cadence to face their judgement. He was dragged into the throne room, which was guarded heavily by the Wonderbolts and what was left of the Royal Guard, led by a pony by the name of Shining Armor.

Celestia was the first to address the prisoner. “Joseph Stallion,” she boomed in a powerful and authoritative voice, “You come before me today accused of treason against your kingdom. You are responsible for leading an insurrection against the Royal Family, corrupting the minds of countless innocent ponies, and causing the death of many individuals. What do you say in your defense?”

His response was recorded in historical books for many years. “You assert that I have betrayed this land, but I can assure you that I have done no such thing. I’ve done quite the opposite, in fact. I love this land. I would do anything for it. I would fight and die to stop any disease that plagues this land. The strongest plagues against the land and its people are the pegasi, the unicorns, and the Royal Family. And for that reason, I fight. I fight against you, Celestia, not this land. You and your unjust system of inequality that has for so long ravaged our people. I do not seek the glory and fame of conquest. I follow a much more important cause. Throughout the history of this land, certain ponies with special abilities have exercised dominance over others, forcing them into hard and strenuous labor in order to sustain the dominating class’s regal lifestyle. My goal, nay, my destiny, is to end this tradition of class distinction and finally bring true peace to Equestria. Besides,” he concluded, “you are in no position to convict me. You are outnumbered.”

Princess Luna issued a mocking laugh. “Surely you jest. You are the only rebel in this room. Your cohorts have broken rank and fled. What hope do you have of vanquishing us?”

“Just this one,” Stallion stated sinisterly before stomping his right hoof on the ground three times. In answer, the entire castle felt a tremendous shock, as though there were a great quake whose epicenter was at the very heart of Canterlot.

The floor in the center of the throne room crumbled away, creating a hole through which hundreds upon hundreds of earth ponies emerged. Caught off guard by the sudden change of events, those in the throne room loyal to the Royal Family were quickly engulfed in combat, and before long, only isolated patches of loyalists remained. Seeing the imminent danger, the Wonderbolts took flight and flew towards the growing horde. Dozens were killed by the team, but they were soon overpowered through sheer numbers. Spitfire was the last of the group to remain standing. She dodged spear after spear, simultaneously killing surrounding rebels, until one spear found its way into her chest, breaking through her breastplate and piercing her heart.

With one of the Family’s icons fallen, hope swiftly dwindled. Cadence and Luna leaped into the fight, but were quickly swept away in a sea of conflict. Ponies outside the halls were too busy trying to save those in danger as a result of the ‘earthquake’ to notice that their rulers were in danger. If they had noticed, it would have been of no use; the rebels inside the throne room had barricaded the entrances.

Princess Celestia’s voice echoed throughout the halls. “Enough!” she cried, magic focusing on her horn. A beam of energy streamed from it, vaporizing all in its path. In her attempt to destroy the mass of the rebels, however, she had left herself open to the attacks of the few. Seeing this weakness, Stallion broke away from the fighting and charged at Celestia’s side. She let loose a deafening cry when he collided with her side, which caught the attention of those outside, and many began to fear for their princess. The fighting in the throne room halted, and every combatant momentarily forgot their conflict as they turned to watch Celestia.

Stallion pressed against the princess with all his might. A life of farm work had given him superior muscles in his legs, to the point where he was able to press against the pony while she remained unable to free himself. She struggled, and in her stunned state she had forgotten to release the magic flowing to her horn. The beam flew wildly around the room with the movements of her head. She was in such distress the she also failed to notice that she was rapidly approaching one of the walls of the throne room. With a roar, Stallion bucked his head, launching Celestia into the air, where her body broke through a nearby stain-glass window. As Celestia fell, so fell the hopes of the ruling class.

Both sides were awestruck. For a moment, no one made a sound. Stallion then turned his attention to his soldiers and threw a forehoof into the air, letting out a cheer of victory. His cry immediately spread to the rebels in the room, creating a chorus of guffaws never before heard in Equestria. Outside, those who heard the sound were perplexed, and they began to gather at the entrance of the throne room, only to find the door barred.

The fighting ended. Without a leader, no one could push them onwards. What remained of the loyalist soldiers in the room threw down their arms, knowing that all hope had faded. The now successful insurrectionists threw open the doors and poured out of the throne room and into the streets, informing all they came across of the triumph of the ponytariat. None in the city gave resistance. Their hearts were too grief-stricken by the cries of “The God-Queen is dead! Long live the ponytariat! Long live Stallion!”

The soldiers of the Family were rounded up and taken prisoner until further notice. In the aftermath of the battle, Stallion stood atop Celestia’s throne, relishing in the thrill of victory. The room was empty, save for the corpses littering the floor. They had fallen in pursuit of a noble cause, and would be commemorated for their valor. Vladimare Lenin entered the room, moved carefully around the cavern in the center of the room, and trotted over to Stallion.

“Congratulations, sir. You’ve won,” Lenin said, moving to his leader’s side.

“No, comrade. We’ve won. It was the work of a nation that won us victory this day. Soon all of Equestria shall become unified under the banner of the ponytariat, and no one pony is responsible. None shall oppose us now that their leader has been vanquished.”

“But comrade Stallion, what of Princesses Luna and Cadence? Their bodies are not counted amongst the dead.”

“If they have survived, they will go into hiding. Our power has proven too great for them to match,” Stallion reasoned. “Besides,” he continued, “this is not the time for such thoughts. We have a nation to organize.” Stallion and Lenin shared a smile, pleased that their dream had finally been realized.

Author's Note:

Well, gentlemen (gentlewomen), I would like to issue my thanks for taking the time read this. Chapter two should be coming along shortly. If I might note, the beginning of the story takes place in a rather 'abstract' form, and by abstract I mean it does not closely follow a particular character. But have no fear, after the origin story of the Poniet Union has been covered, the story shall transition into a much closer third person (meaning I shall follow the adventures of a given pony in particular instead of merely stating events). Anyway, good day, leave reviews, such and such...