Apple Pie

by GauntletsofRai

This couldn't get any worse

"WHERE IS IT?!"

Applejack, who was in Pinkie Pie's body, was frantically tearing her house apart while looking for the birthday present that Pinkie Pie, who was in Applejack's body, had given to her even though it wasn't really her birthday.

Pinkie tried as best she could to find the present, but she had never been inside Applejack's home, and thus did not know in the slightest where to look. Normally her Pinkie senses would at least point her in the right direction, but they weren't seeming to work in Applejack's body. Which is probably why she didn't know the barn was on fire until after it had started.

Clothes and furniture flew recklessly across the room as Applejack searched for the object. Pinkie had tried to help, but she kept tripping up whenever she tried to do anything besides a slow walk. Applejack's body was much differently balanced than hers.

Applejack was now stretched out on the floor, hitting her head with her hooves in frustration. "Where is it! It was just on that dresser not but last night!"

Pinkie jumped as the door to the barn flew open, the rest of the Apple family barging in with obvious worry on their faces. "What in tarnation was that smokin' all about? Ya'll would think the barn had been on fire!"

Applebloom was jumping up and down in distress. "It was a fire! I saw it ma self! Applejack weren't out doin' her chores, and so I went to see were she was, and I saw the barn was burnin'!"

"Well, it's not a-burnin' now, now is it? Applejack, ya'll better have a mighty good explanation fer all this! First ya' up an' try to make breakfast, then ya' let the barn go burnin' down! What has gotten inta you, girl?"

"Honest, granny, I didn't! But it's all put out now, so there's nothin' to worry about!"

Granny Smith looked flustered for a moment and then rolled her eyes. "Now, Pinkie Pie, while that were an excellent Applejack impression, I was talkin' to ma granddaughter, if ye' don't mind!"

Applejack huffed and muttered under her high-pitched breath. "Alright, did any of ya'll see a wood carvin' about this big?" She said, gesturing with her hooves.

Applebloom quickly averted her gaze, a look of evasive shame covering her face. Applejack caught her look and prodded her further. "Applebloom, did you take that carvin'?"

"Well... yeah, but, I just wanted to look at it, honest, miss Pinkie!"

Applejack sighed and ignored that comment. "Well, where is it now?"

Applebloom's face once again erupted into shame as her eyes began to dart around defensively. "I didn't mean to loose it! I took into my room an' then when I woke up, it was gone! I'm sorry! honest I am! I'll find it, I swear!"

Applejack looked down at the poor little filly. She could never stay mad at that cute little pouting face. "Don' worry 'bout it, Applebloom. It's not here, I already checked. C'mon Pinkie, we gotta go find this thing."

Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, and Applebloom stared at the both of them in complete and utter confusion as they cantered past them and out the door. Pinkie, who was feeling the most awkward she had ever felt, looked back at them with an apologetic glance.

After they had exited the fence that enclosed the barn, Applejack had started muttering to herself. Pinkie Pie endured the awkward silence for a moment, and after a few stumbles along the road in her new and alien body, she spoke up. "So... What's next? I mean, what's your present got to do with anything?"

Applejack stopped mumbling and looked Pinkie in her eyes, which had not but yesterday belonged to Applejack. "It's got everything to do with everything!" SHe picked up her pace in her excitement, forcing Pinkie to stumble along to keep apace. "That thing ya' got me, whatever it was, has somthin' to do with our current situation, and I'm aimin' to find out who and what and where and why. And ALL that nonsense, ya hear?!"

Pinkie jerked away from Applejack, who was now unconsciously shouting. "Alright, but just dial it back a tick, will ya?"

Applejack stopped and ran pink foreleg over her face, breathing deeply. "Yer right. Let's just get goin', is all I'm sayin'. Ya know? Don't wanna be stuck like this forever. It just ain't right." She continued forward, quickly but at a steady pace.

Pinkie stumbled once more, still failing to get the balance of her taller and heavier friend's body. "Yeah, but did you ever think that maybe this is just a normal thing? What if we've always had these bodies, and we're just both super insane and forgetting ourselves?"

Applejack scoffed, a little troubled by Pinkie's words. "Are ya'll serious? I'm NOT insane. I remember bein' Applejack, and I know you remember bein' Pinkie Pie, so go on and git that idea outta yer head. *Psh* insane my flank."

Ponies around town had said a lot about Pinkie in the past. Nothing too hurtful, but there were some concerns pointed her way not too long ago. Sure, everyone was a-okay when she was throwing them a party, but she had seen their glances at the market place, and she knew what it was like to question her own sanity regardless. It was fleeting, but she caught the look on Applejack's face. She had seen that look all too often, but only from her own face. How ironic then, to see it once more, a literal mirror image of her past strife played on the face of her friend.

But hey, sanity ain't all it's cracked up to be!

"So, we should go get Twilight, right? I mean, she's like, the go-to girl when it comes to weird magic stuff!"

"That's hittin' the nail on the head there, Pinkie. She weren't too convinced when it was just me tryin' to get help, but I reckon she'll believe you, bein' that yer' me. Or look like me. Or, whatever!"

Pinkie laughed internally at Applejack, her face scrunched in thought. She would have skipped along right beside her, but the LAST thing that Applejack's body was made for was skipping. Pinkie hung her head with a sigh, realizing just how much she missed skipping. That was like, her main thing! She was all about skipping! This couldn't get any worse.

* * *

Twilight answered the knock at her door, a wet towel wrapped around her head. She looked at Applejack and Pinkie Pie standing in front of her with an expression of exhaustion. "Hey girls. Come on in, but try to keep it down, okay?" They both stepped through the doorway, consciously softening the clopping of their hooves at Twilight's behest. "Moving that much water gave me a really huge magic-hangover. That was a real bonehead move back there. I should have just called Rainbow over. I'm SUCH an idiot!"

Applejack placed a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Don't say that, Twilight! Yer' the smartest pony I know! Besides I can't thank ya' enough fer puttin' out that fire! If it weren't fer you, the whole barn woulda' burnt straight down to the ground!" Twilight gave Applejack another of numerous puzzled looks she had received today. She was getting really tired of this business. "Right, that's what we're here for. I'm bein' serious when I tell you that me an' Pinkie have somehow switched bodies! I'm askin' ya as a friend to believe me, so we can get back to normal!"

Twilight looked skeptical, a look that was not uncommon to her. She glanced over Applejack's shoulder at Pinkie Pie, standing in Applejack's body. "Is it true? Are you really not Applejack?"

Pinkie nodded confirmation towards Twilight. "It's true, Twilight! Normally this would be a pretty funny joke, but it's not funny 'cuz it's for real! And besides, I don't do a very good AJ impression at all, which is strange, since obviously my body is capable of sounding like Applejack, even if it's not her usual pitch, since I guess that accents have to do with learned experience and not muscle memory, since that would mean-"

"ALRIGHT! I believe you!" Twilight rubbed her head with a hoof, levitating the wet towel from her head and setting on her shoulders. "Well, since Applejack could never talk for that long, and if this WAS a joke, she wouldn't lie about it, I guess I have no choice but to believe you two."

Applejack threw her legs around Twilight's neck, squeezing her with Pinkie's unnaturally strong hugging muscles. "Thank ya so much, Twi! What say we get this thing dealt with already?"

Twilight looked like she was fighting back the urge to break up the extremely uncomfortable hug, while Pinkie snickered at the spectacle. Applejack loosened her lethal hug-vice as Twilight put pressure on the bridge of her muzzle just between her eyes with a hoof. "Okay, um... think Twilight, think... was there some kind of magical item you two came in contact with?"

"Yeah! I got AJ this carving for her birthday, not knowing it wasn't her birthday, and then we both touched it, and we woke up, and THIS happened!"

"Sure nuff! That antiques mare said it was some ancient carvin' with old futher-somthin' runes from up north. Somthin' to do with a joint-ritual, if that helps at all."

Twilight wordlessly picked a book from one of the shelves, seemingly at random, and began flipping through the pages while still nursing her massive magic hangover. Her eyes still half-closed from the light in the room, she pointed to a page of the book. "Did it look anything like this?" On the page was an artist's rendition of a cylindrical artifact shaped like a spool, carved all over with runes and two familiar apples.

"That's it! That's the exact same thing!"

Twilight shut the book, releasing a cloud of dust, and set the book back on the shelf. "Yep, that's your run-of-the-mill joint-ritual totem. Pretty old magic, and NOT to be trifled with, but it's a little too late for that. Just bring it back here and you two'll be back to normal in no time."

Pinkie and Applejack both looked at each other anxiously. "Well, that's the thing Twi. I went lookin' for it, but my lil' sister went and lost it somehow, and we couldn't find it anywhere! Is there any way you could reverse this without the totem?"

Twilight groaned and swayed a little more heavily on her legs. "I could give it a try, but it will take a lot longer than if we had the totem." Twilight steadied herself as best she could as her horn flared to life with magic, touching both mares with a faint glow of pink magic. Her horn gave off a cloud of sparks and then sputtered out as she stumbled and fell to the floor.

Both mares gasped and ran to her, helping her back on to her feet. She shook herself awake and groaned in agony. "Sorry girls. I'm in no condition to try that spell without having the totem here. I'm just going to get some rest, and you two can come back tomorrow when I'm not completely debilitated."

Applejack and Pinkie looked at each other mournfully as they helped Twilight back up to her upstairs bed. It seemed like they would be stuck like this for at lest a little while longer.

Once Twilight was put up to bed, both mares walked back down the stairs (pinkie tumbling down the last few on accident) and walked across the library towards the door. Pinkie sighed and shook her head. "I guess we can wait a little longer, unless we can find that totem thing." She sighed an even deeper sigh. "At least this couldn't get any worse, right?"

By the ironically heavy hand of fate, a succession of rapid knocks barraged Twilight's door just before a frantic Rainbow Dash kicked it in. "Twilight! We got some serious trouble out here! Grab the Elements of Harmony, It's an emergency!!!"

Pinkie plopped down on Applejack's haunches and lifted her front hooves into the air.

"AW, COME ON!"

* * *

Comments

[PinkPearl]

lol XP

[Curious]

Incidentally, what Pinkie does isn't skipping, per se. It's a particular style of movement called pronking. Only four-legged creatures pronk, like Pinkie!

[Adam95F]

Out of the frying pan and into the volcano.

[chinlamp]

I'm out. The characters are slowly getting more and more OoC, you're constantly making the same 'joke' over and over when it wasn't funny the first time, a huge complication that could ruin AJ and Pinkies lives happens and they don't even get irritated at Apple Bloom (one of my biggest pet peeves from the show) and Twilight apparently knows exactly what's going on when an old mare who's entire life and special talent is these sort of things doesn't know at all.

[GoodwinGamerJack]

1996728
Outof the frying pan and into the cor of the star Eta Carinae (Hottest star in the know universe, according to a google search)