The Ashes

by Scylight

Becoming One

On a regular rainy day most shops would close since nopony would want to go there. Ponies would seek the comforts of their homes to avoid getting too wet. Pegasi would be mantaning the clouds in order to keep it under control. Families would play with each other to provide comfort and warmth. The lonely ponies would be drinking the night away hoping to forget about their life. Yet there was one pony who was not doing any of these things, in fact she wasn't even inside. Her name was Rainbow Dash.

It was peculiar to see such a lively pony such as herself all alone out in the rain. At a regular time like this she would be having fun with her five friends, possibly enjoying a sleepover. In some cases her recklessness would kick in and she would be flying in the rain. Yet all that she was doing was lying on a cloud, crying. Despite her brash attitude she had a fragile mind and could easily be discouraged. But today was not an ordinary day.

In fact today was supposed to be the best day of her life, because this was the day when she was supposed to get accepted into the Wonderbolts. She had aced her exam and passed the flight test with flying colours, it seemed like she was destined to make the team. From a filly in an group home in Cloudsdale, to a Flight School dropout, to a confused pony with amnesia, to earning the Element of Loyalty, she was living the dream. But there is a reason why we call them dreams.
The day for her started like any other day, wake up, take a shower, feed Tank, eat breakfast. Even then she was already getting worried about her future. Who would feed Tank while she was gone, what would happen if her friends were in trouble and she wasn't there, what if she failed her element. Her friends had numerously explained that they would be alright and that all of her concerns were going to be taken cared of, but she was still worried.

That day when Derpy dropped off her mail she could hardly contain her happiness. She quickly began searching for that familiar blue letter. After much searching she found it and quickly began reading. Her smile which she had be wearing proudly earlier quickly became a frown. Tears had already started to come down her face and muzzle. They had rejected her.

Since that time she had been avoiding anypony who came near her, or as much as waved. To the citizens of Ponyville it became apparent of Rainbows lamet. Rumors spread like wildfire to vast to be controled. Rainbow Dash couldn't take any more embarresment and secluded herself from the rest of town. Rainbow eventually cried herself to sleep on her cloud not being even aware of the rain.

Soon another pony walked into view, its hooves making tracks in the dirt roads. He had a cream fur that was mostly covered by a thick, black trench coat and a wide brimmed hat covering his mane. He walked by shop windows and mysteriously there was no reflection. He slowly looked up at the cloud that Rainbow was sleeping on revealing his blood red eyes. "How could they waste such talent", he smirked.

He had heard stories about her amazing feats. She was the only living pony to be able to pull off a Sonic Rainboom. "She would make a great addition to my team", he said darkly. Suddenly the rain stopped giving the mysterious pony the opening he needed. Just like that he was gone.

***

Rainbow soon stirred herself awake minutes after the rain stopped. Her eyes were now bloodshot from her crying and her cheeks slightly swollen, and now she was soaking wet. "Can this day get any better", she moaned sarcasticly. She got up slowly and began to stretch out her wings. Her trademark rainbow mane hung loosely to the side of her face.
"Hello Dashie", a voice startled her nearly knocking her off the cloud. She began to breath heavier while trying to locate where the voice was coming from.

"Show yourself, I'm not scared of you", Rainbow shouted back. She firmly placed her hooves deep into the cloud in order to hold her position.

"Then why are you telling me to show myself", the voice asked. "Only if you were truely scared would you be telling me that", he said as he began to cackle wildly. He could already tell that his victim was absoulutely terrified. She was hyperventilating, her heart rate was up, and she began to slightly shiver. "But don't worry, you'll be scared soon enough", he said wildly.

All of a sudden the stallion flew out of one of the stray clouds and lunged at Rainbow. Despite her quick reflexes she was unable to dodge and was tackled by him. She struggled to gain the upper hoof when suddenly he opened his mouth revealing a pair of fangs heading for her neck. Out of desperation she punched him with a right hook and immediatly took off.

She began to go as fast as her wings could possibly carry her. Multiple questions entered her mind but all that she was focused on right now was to get herself safe. She then began to hear a slight whistling sound behind her and was suddenly caught from behind. The two pegasi began tumbling back to earth with a loud smash into a tree. As the dust disapated it became clear who won.

The cream stallion stood on top of his latest victim with a proud grin on his face. He smiled darkly as said a prayer to Luna before biting down on Rainbow's neck. Blood instantly flowed into his mouth giving him a full stomach and pleasure. The same could not be said for Rainbow.

She was writhing around in pain as her life fluids came coming out of her neck. Once again tears began swelling up in her eyes as she realized what was going to happen. As she closed her eyes she said one final prayer to both Princesses.

Thank you Princess for all that you have given me and my friends. Thank you for letting me preform for your entertainment and my friends. Thank you for letting me become a hero as I always wanted to be. Thank you for everything you helped me accomplish in my tragic short life. Finally, thank you for letting me have the best friends in the world and if you can hear me tell them that I will miss them.

She breathed on last time for what she thought to be the end of her life.

***

"Spike", Twilight yelled at her number one assistant. She had been reading a book since the rain had started and she had asked Spike to tell her when it stopped, but instead he fell asleep.

"What Twi, can't you see that I'm sleeping", Spike said rudely.Twilight sighed. She had no time for this, she just needed so-

She never got to finish her thought when her house all of a sudden shook violently. Books that were neatly sorted began to fall down as Twilight was knocked off her hooves. She got herself up and began to run to the door. "Spike clean up the books while I check what happened", she comanded. She heard the baby dragon groan at his task which caused her to chuckle a little bit.

She slowly walked her way to the other side of her home. "Whoever did this would pay for the damages" she muttered to herself. She then turned the corner to find a familiar pegasus pony laid out at the side of her home. "Rainbow I told you not-", she stopped herself dead in her tracks.

Her friend was in a pool of her own blood and her mane matted against her head. Her feathers were stuck together by her own blood. Tears came from her lifeless face mixing with her blood. Now there was only one thing to do.

"HELP"

Comments

[Subtle History]

Well, this looks good! keep it up!

[crimsonbrony2507]

The title of this fic reminds me of the song "ashes" by Five Finger Death Punch.

Who of course is one of my favorite bands.

[Dj Ic-3]

A few misspelled words but that's nothing. Pretty good. Please write more.

[NotsoAwesme]

Nice start. I can't wait to see what happens next

[markoatonc]

I hope you will not abandon this.

[Broxiconimus]

Good idea, well written and now on my favourites. Can`t wait for an update. Just minor spelling mistakes, but despite that, this is going to be a good read when it`s finished.

[Delete account]

I have a good feeling about this one.

[markoatonc]

1727410 What? what gave you this idea? In all my history (6 months) on this site, only once I disliked something. And then it was really needed. Otherwise, if I dont like something, I simply leave. My comment is because, I already read over 200 stories on this site, And lot more MLP fanfiction from other sources. It is sad to say, but 7/10 really promising stories is abandon because of lack of time, or writer loosing interest in writing. And this one chapter is simply great. from experience I know it is simply little to early to scream how awesome it was, it can do more bad than good. But I upvoted this story anyway, in the moment I finished reading. AN added to favourites.

[Scylight]

I am now writing chapter two of The Ashes and I have to say that I'm having writing it. I also like to thank the people who have favorited and liked my story. The next chapter should be up by Tuesday so stay tuned.

[Birribi]

1727557 *Facehoof* I'm half asleep and thought you said "i hope you will abandon this story".

[markoatonc]

and one think, what was this?

to a confused pony with amnesia,

I do not remember her having amnesia, so can you explain? I just started reading again. So I maybe catch something more. Last time I read it on phone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

edit:

not that she thought she failed her mind was on other concerns

I feel something wrong there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is too much "Rainbow", "Rainbow's" and such. Please do something with this. Replace some with something different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And while I am not from English speaking country and still learning this language. I can feel there is sometime wrong with punctuation, and lack of the commas.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had a cream coat that seemed to be fading out. Most of his body was covered by a thick trench coat

I do not know if those two coats are right.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{LAST EDIT:}
Yes. Now confirmed. There is really big lack of commas. It need some rewriting in my opinion. But only minor things (like, too much "Rainbows" and too less commas.) and something what I do not understand with that amnesia. But it is still really great and promising story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ps. You should get some prereader. I am still not very good at grammar, so I can't help with this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{well, it seems that I lied about last edit. I am not AJ so I can lie. This is the last one edit. Really}

I see Luna's Tag. So, if Luna will be important here, this story will get even more liking from me. My two most favourite characters, Luna and Rainbow. And Vamponies. :D :)

[dracoantares]

MOAR!

[Scylight]

The amnesia part would be explained later in the story, if not then I'll edit it out. Luna is very important in the story as she would be one of the main characters. Also your complaint about the lack of commas would be fixed as the story progresses.

[markoatonc]

And this?

not that she thought she failed her mind was on other concerns.

Have I take it as my lack of full understanding of English, Or is really some error there? Like the part "She failed" is not supposed to be there?

And is good to hear about Luna. You have my Watch, so I will track .

EDIT: Now it's OK.

[Myrandall]

breakfest = breakfast