Equestria on the Brink

by G-Money

Chapter 1

Equestria on the Brink
by G-Money

Chapter 1

“So Pinkie Pie, what’s this party for?”

“Silly Twilight, don’t you know? It’s been 52 days since Gummy’s birthday! You know how Gummy loves parties!”

Twilight glanced at the expressionless alligator, who seemed completely oblivious to what was going on around him.

“And what’s so special about 52?” inquired Twilight.

“Well,” started Pinkie, “52 is 10 more than 42, and 42 is just such an awesome number – I’m sure you all remember Gummy’s 42-days-after-birthday-party – and you know, since 10 is an even number, and it ends in a 0, and it’s just so super-duper, it’s such a special occasion, and I just had to do this for Gummy! Do you know how many times each year someone is 52 days older than however old they were on their birthday? ONLY ONCE!!”

Everypony laughed at Pinkie’s ramblings. The group of friends couldn’t have been having a better time, enjoying themselves in the company of their closest companions. The cake was delicious, the festivities were manifold, and the seemingly endless supply of balloons and confetti emitted an atmosphere filled with summer fun.

But not everyone was laughing.

Spike stood silently in the corner of the room, rereading a scroll over and over. The baby dragon’s eyes filled with terror and his body began shaking.

“Twi-Twilight!?”

“What’s the matter, Spike?”

“Um…I, uh, I really think you should read this.”

“Why don’t you read it for us? I’m sure everypony would love to see how proud the Princess is of all that I’ve learned. I’m sure she’s just congratulating me on learning so many valuable lessons, all because of my best friends. Without my friends, I wouldn’t have had any friendship reports! You should read it so everypony can hear!”

“I-I-I can’t, Twilight. You read it.”

“Fine,” muttered Twilight as she levitated the scroll out of Spike’s hand and began to read:

“My dearest and most faithful student, Twilight:

Thank you so very much for all that you have done. I couldn’t be more proud of you; your friendship reports have made me confident that there is hope for the future of Equestria. However, it is with deep regret that I inform you that Canter-“

Twilight suddenly dropped the scroll and ran out of the room. Her friends gathered around the dropped scroll and silently read terrifying news:

However, it is with deep regret that I inform you that Canterlot has been overtaken by a gruesome horde, who march upon the Royal Palace as I write this. The entire Canterlot Guard has been wiped out, and Princess Luna and I cannot hold them off on our own. Our fate is inevitable; yours is not. You have strength in numbers. Defend Ponyville. Only with your friends can you save Equestria.

It has been been a pleasure knowing you and learning from you, Twilight Sparkle.

Your mentor,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[BestiaAuris]

buh... what?

can... can we at least have some time before a Quest! is given? can we have some time at the party; some conversation, interaction, some pinkie pie?

i read half of the next one, it jumps from here to "pony the barricades!". we need some pacing, dont just jump strait into the plot, give the reader time to get into the general feel of the story: you start with a party, make it feel like a party, fun! have do something silly, have do some obsessing over the Wonderbolts, maybe fail at pin the tail on the pony or spike ogle over her, SOMETHING! Then have spike do the whole "zomg! twi, read this!".

when i first read the letter, my first thought was .

you have better pacing later (in chapter 4), so dont just see me as a big meany.

trolls... interesting! a well written fic, just not fantastic with pacing...

[Dead Turtle]

Wow, straight to the point, aren't you?

I like that.

[Ra1nbowCrasH]

I'm sorry, but just burst out laughing while reading the letter. It's like: you're a great student... Oh, and equestria is doomed unless you do something. Good luck!

[BlankSpaceUsername]

Party.... party.... party... "My dearest and most faithful student... While you were having your party a gruesome horde of (insert monster here) have completely overthrown the royal guard and the government. Party hard, right? Go get 'em."

[CommanderX5]

However, it is with deep regret that I inform you that Canterlot has been overtaken by a gruesome horde, who march upon the Royal Palace as I write this. The entire Canterlot Guard has been wiped out, and Princess Luna and I cannot hold them off on our own. Our fate is inevitable; yours is not. You have strength in numbers. Defend Ponyville. Only with your friends can you save Equestria.

It has been been a pleasure knowing you and learning from you, Twilight Sparkle.

Your mentor,

Princess Celestia

Sigh... Do I even need to say how much is wrong with this letter?

1) Canterlot is Capital positioned on a mountain, a good defensive position unless enemy can fly.
2) It had Celesta and Luna, two powerful alicors ( in S4 finale we saw that power of 4 alicorns can cut through mountains and give protection hard enough to endure extremely powerful attacks while not restraining agiliy ), Celestia and Luna have 1/2 of their power at their dispousal.
3) Most of the Royal Guards lead by Shining Armor were defending the capital, and who know if Cadence was around as well.
4) In Season 2 finale we saw that main 6 while skillful, can't defeat entire army. They took out many foes but wre overun eventally.

This letter literaly say that hostile army beat Shining, entire guard and 2-3 powerful alicorns together on a well positioned Capital were defeated, and that 6 mares in Ponyvile have strength in number and that they need to defend Ponyville against such force rather than evacuate the town and hide or seek alies from other countries.

This is so stupid. Even if main 6 can use Elements aganst enemy leader, they first need to break through entire army together without any of them dying or being captured.

I am really tired of Royal Sisters always being Princess Peach and Royal Guards being compltly incomptent, just so that 6 mares, by some miracle, fight of entire armies and defeat far more powerful villain without any help. It Is so repetitive that it hurts. Can't there be a story where eveyone besides main 6 can be competent for once? Even princess peach without having as much power as Celestia and Luna still assisted in Paper Mario series, while royal sisters rarely even bother to use their powers,

[Shining Dawn]

Oh my god. Do you know what pacing is? Because this story has none.
I feel like I'm being forced to sprint through an art museum. There is a lot of great ideas here, and I'm not actually able to examine any of them.

[Alpha123]

please don't let them be dead