Pinkie Pie the Hero

by Remi-Chan

Pinkie Pie the Hero Chapter 1

Pinkie skipped off towards the castle. It was Princess Cadance that requested that she came. When she trotted through the doors, she found the pink alicorn waiting for her.
“Hey Cadance! What did you want me for?” Pinkie smiled wide.

“I need help preparing for the big ball, and I know you’re good at parties...” the young princess hinted.

“That sounds like fun! I’d love to help!” Pinkie answered, excitement eminent in her voice. Cadance smiled at the pink mare. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The changelings watched the the ponies, waiting to strike.

“I’ll take Twilight Sparkle!” yelled one.

“I’ll take Twilight Sparkle,” screeched Queen Chrysalis. The others announced the ponies they would take, and then they got to Pinkie Pie. “Where’s Pinkie Pie?” gasped the angry queen.

“She was here earlier,” explained one of the changelings.

“She went to see Princess Cadance!” blurted out another. The queen looked at the changeling with an enraged expression on her face.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” The changeling began to cower. “Now go attack!” The small army buzzed off, and in a few minutes had all of the ponies in captivity.
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Spike bursted through the large doors of the castle.

“Hi Spike!” Pinkie ran towards the small dragon and squeezed him. His green eyes became very
large and his cheeks became a bright red, “Oh! Sorry Spike! Why’d you come all the way here?”

“Queen...Chrysalis... took...everypony...” Pinkie’s eyes widened.

“Everypony?!”

“Just Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy.” Pinkie’s jaw dropped.

“I need the Cutie Mark Crusaders right now!” screeched Pinkie. She turned to the Princess. “Sorry Cadance! I’ll help you as soon as I get everypony back. Then they can help, too!” Pinkie ran out the doors with Spike, leaving Cadance by herself. The young princess sighed and walked off. She might as well get started.
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“Tell me more!” demanded the pink mare, “I need to know more!” She glared at Spike like she did on her last birthday, making him extremely uncomfortable

“Um... well. Queen Chrysalis and a few other changelings grabbed them in their sleep and stuffed them in a bag. Then they flew that way.” Pinkie’s eyes followed the direction of Spike’s extended claw. It led to a giant mountain, far off in the distance. Pinkie gulped. She didn’t want to venture deep into the Everfree Forest and climb the most dangerous mountain in all of Equestria, but she had to save her friends.

“Let’s go Spike!” she started running, but abruptly stopped “We should probably get the Cutie Mark Crusaders first. We’re going to need their help.” She got two tickets for the train and waited a few moments to come into the station. Then, with haste, she boarded, the purple dragon close behind her.

Comments

[deletingthisaccount]

The plot and timing doesn't really make much sense, and the characterisation is quite weak with far more telling than showing. I recommend you read back over and write more to fill in the inconsistencies.