"I Will make better this chapter."

Yeah, I wish I could believe that.....

to short
bad grammer
good story line
keep righting

I think its was a bit too spaced out, but I guess maybe just work with fleshing the story out more?

Its not bad, but I wince at the bad grammer :/ its a good story though! I plan on reading more!

double spaced so teacher thought I typed a 3 page essay when I only typed one page
love the story could use less spacing and more meat, but still like the path!

i only read the first two sentences. wow, big improvment on grammer my friend. i comend you in the highest degree. :3

I dot cAre about grammar but I do care a lot about storylines and plots. I like it

don't feel bad about bad grammer, I mean I have crummy spelling