Hopeless Romance

by Doom Trot

Prologue.

"Such delicious candy sweets!" Zecora said, licking clean the hoof she'd been holding her candy in. "Tell me, where did you acquire these peppermint treats?"

"Mah friend Twist made 'em!" Apple Bloom said with a smile. "Nopony makes 'em like she does!"

Zecora smacked her lips, smiling down at Applebloom as she said, "To this, I can attest. Twist's peppermints are truly the best."

"Glad ya like 'em," Apple Bloom said with a nod, beginning for the door. "Twist has been strugglin' t' sell 'er treats lately, so it's good t' know that somepony has a hankerin' for 'em."

Zecora put a hoof to her chin, frowning and mumbling, "Although her peppermints I do commend, I am sad to say I have not the coin to spend."

Apple Bloom stopped where she was, looking to Zecora with pity and saying, "That's a shame. Ah 'spose ya could always trade 'er for one o' yer potions."

Zecora chuckled, shaking her head. Dubiously, she said, "An interesting an idea you have got. Perhaps, just maybe, I shall give it some thought."

"Ah'm sure Twist would be thrilled," Apple Bloom said, grinning and continuing toward the door.

As she opened it, however, Zecora called after her, "Stop, Apple Bloom, before you go!" Zecora trotted over to her, looking worried. "I must ask of something you might know."

"What's up?" Apple Bloom asked, looking puzzled.

"Has your rival, Diamond Tiara, returned to Ponyville? Pondering her fate has made me most ill," Zecora said, looking and sounding pained by the question.

Apple Bloom sighed, shaking her head and answering grievously, "Ain't nopony seen 'er since the night she up and disappeared."

Zecora put a hoof to her chest, looking heartbroken as she said, "This news is most disconcerting. I certainly hope the little lost filly is neither frightened nor hurting."

Apple Bloom forcefully cleared her throat, rubbing her neck as she gazed at the ceiling, her voice a noticeably higher pitch as she said, "Yeah, ah hope she's all fine 'n dandy..."

"Hopefully, her time of absence will conclude in a trice. To know that the Everfree Forest does not swallowed up foals will be quite nice," Zecora said, donning a smile once more. "Well, I suppose it can't be helped at present. I thank you once more for those peppermint treats so pleasant."

"Oh, ah was happy t' share with ya," Apple Bloom said, waving a dismissive hoof. "Ah'll bring some more the next time ah visit."

Zecora nodded, rubbing at her stomach and musing, "I look forward to when we next meet, Apple Bloom. I hope that we shall see each other again soon."

"See ya later, Zecora!" Apple Bloom said, trotting out of the hut.

"Please, to home in safety sprint!" Zecora called out after her, then said quietly to herself, "So you can acquire for me more succulent peppermint."

She chuckled, then closed the door to her hut.

---

"Hey there, Apple Bloom!" Applejack called as Apple Bloom approached. "How was yer visit with Zecora?" Immediately after asking her question, Applejack bucked at the apple tree behind her with a grunt, sending apples spilling into the buckets that surrounded it.

"It was purdy good," Apple Bloom said with a nod, already jumping in to help by picking up the filled apple buckets and emptying them in the nearby cart. "Zecora went nuts over Twist's peppermint treats."

"Did she now?" Applejack asked, bucking another tree. "Ah ain't never had a taste for them peppermints. Heck, ah ain't never liked anything minty at all."

"Well, Zecora loved 'em," Apple Bloom grunted, her face bearing a look of intense concentration as she hobbled over to the cart, carrying a particularly full basket of apples atop her head.

Dumping the apples into the cart, she could now relax as she walked.

Apple Bloom brought three more baskets of apples to the cart, then tentatively asked, "So, no Rainbow Dash today?"

Applejack chuckled, shaking her head and answering coolly, "She and ah are both mighty busy today."

"Both o' ya'll? What's she doin'?" Apple Bloom asked, dropping an empty bucket beside the tree Applejack was readying to buck.

"Ah think she was teachin' some pegasi 'bout stunt flyin'," said Applejack.

With a shout, Applejack bucked the tree, apples tumbling from the branches and into the buckets.

Moving to a new tree, she added, "At least that's what she told me."

"Huh. Ah see," Apple Bloom said with a nod, putting a hoof to her chin. "Did she say where she would be?"

"Nope," Applejack answered bluntly, bucking the tree and knocking free its apples.

"Okay, uh..." Apple Bloom muttered, crouching down and picking up an apple bucket, then beginning for the cart. "Did she plan t' meet up with ya at all today?"

"Nope," Applejack answered again, already at the next tree.

Apple Bloom emptied the apples from the bucket, then went to collect the other buckets from around the last tree Applejack had bucked, all the while looking like she wanted to say something.

After a long silence between she and Apple Bloom, Applejack asked, "So, what'd ya do up t' Zecora's place?"

"Oh, just a bit o' gatherin' and whatnot," Apple Bloom answered, already plopping down buckets around the newest apple tree. "Said she was puttin' together some sorta 'truth potion,' or some nonsense like that."

"Truth potion?" Applejack asked, bucking the tree and bringing down a rain of apples. "Why is she needin' a truth potion?"

"Ah don't really know," Apple Bloom said, scratching her head. "All she really said 'bout it was that anypony who drank it would reveal whatever secret they're told to tell."

"Dad gum!" Applejack shouted, collecting two of the buckets as she and Applebloom commenced loading up and heading back to the barn. "That's down right rude! Makin' anypony fess up their secrets and not givin' 'em any say sounds terrible!"

"Maybe it is," Apple Bloom said, sounding ashamed. "Ah can't imagine what she's gonna use it fer... or who she's gonna use it on."

"Well, ah trust Zecora," Applejack said, hooking herself up to the cart, "and ah know she ain't gonna misuse this truth potion. Makes me wonder why she's brewin' it up in the first place."

"Dunno," Apple Bloom said with a shrug. "Although, the potion could be used fer good."

"Oh, can it now?" Applejack asked, smirking. "Do tell."

"Well, say there was some evil pony all shut up like a clam. If they used the potion, then he'd have t' fess up 'bout everything he done wrong," Apple Bloom reasoned, Applejack laughing with amusement.

"Ah 'spose that could work," Applejack said, rolling her eyes.

The two walked along, continuing their conversation about the proper applications of a potion that would force anypony to tell the truth.

---

"Scootaloo, why are we doing this?" Sweetie Belle asked, eyeing the clouds of bees that hovered about their artificial hives with hesitation. "It's kinda dangerous..."

"We'll never know if we're supposed to get our cutie marks in beekeeping if we don't do this," Scootaloo answered, setting an empty jar beside one of the hives. "Besides, we've got these suits. The bees can't hurt us while we've got them on."

Scootaloo tapped her helmet to demonstrate.

"Well, I guess you're right," Sweetie said, glancing to the jar Scootaloo set on the ground. "But there's so many of them. Even if they can't hurt me, these bees are still scary."

"Oh, quit your belly aching!" Scootaloo said, jumping atop the hive. "You still have that scraper?"

"Yeah..." Sweetie held aloft the scraper with her magic.

"Good. I'll hold the tray and you scrape the honey into the jar."

With a quiet grunt, Scootaloo hefted the tray nearest the jar out of the hive, the cloud of bees buzzing more energetically as she did so. She held it over the jar, awaiting Sweetie Belle's scraping, but the tray remained caked with honey. Scootaloo looked up at Sweetie, finding her to be frozen in place.

"What's the hold up?"

"Uh..."

Sweetie gulped, closing her eyes as she shuffled closer to Scootaloo and the agitated cloud of bees. She haphazardly swung around the scraper in an attempt to locate where the tray was, striking Scootaloo's head and hooves multiple times.

"Cut it out!" Scootaloo shouted, the scraper freezing in midair. "Would you just open your eyes already?"

"I...can't," Sweetie answered, allowing the scraper to drop to the ground. "Too scared."

"Hi guys!" Apple Bloom shouted as she ran to meet the two. "Sorry ah'm late."

"Alright, you made it!" Scootaloo said, nodding to the jar yet to be filled with honey. "Now we can finally get something done."

Sweetie Belle shuffled away from the hive, only now venturing to open her eyes.

Spotting Apple Bloom, she said, "Hi Apple Bloom. What took you so long?"

"Oh, just chores n' stuff," Apple Bloom answered, snatching up the scraper and jumping atop the hive, already beginning to scrape honey off the tray. Apple Bloom glanced to Scootaloo, then looked back to the tray, saying, "Ah heard Rainbow Dash was teachin' some pegasi 'bout stunt flyin'. Figured ya'd be there, Scootaloo."

"Huh?" Scootaloo asked, not sounding as excited as Apple Bloom had thought she would have. "Where did you hear that?"

"Applejack told me," Apple Bloom said, reaching over Scootaloo's foreleg to scrape at the honey. "She said that's what Rainbow Dash told 'er."

"Scootaloo and I saw Rainbow Dash at the library not too long ago," Sweetie said, sounding confused. "Unless she left behind that book she seemed so excited to read, I don't think she's left."

"She's at the library?" Apple Bloom asked, putting a hoof to her helmet, as she couldn't reach her chin. "Why would she tell Applejack she was teachin' pegasi 'bout stunt flyin' if she's at the library?"

"Why would she lie to Applejack at all?" Scootaloo asked, sounding worried. "You don't think it's about Rainbow Dash's love of reading, do you?"

"O' course not!" Apple Bloom answered with a shake of the head. "Applejack knows all about Rainbow Dash's interest in readin'. She ain't gonna tease 'er none for it."

"Well, if not that, then what?" Sweetie asked, almost having to shout with how far away she was from the two. "Why would she lie to anypony? Especially Applejack."

Apple Bloom's brow furrowed, then she donned a sly grin.

"Why don't we go ask 'er?"

"I guess we could," Scootaloo said, moving to replace the cleaned tray, "but we should probably finish up here first. Just as well see if we'll get our cutie marks in—"

"Help!" cried a distraught colt.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders turned to look at him, honey drizzling down his chin as he ran like mad, a swarm of bees trailing him as they buzzed with rage.

"Somepony, help!"

"Snails?" Scootaloo asked, dropping the tray back into place.

Apple Bloom sighed, tossing up the scraper and catching it with her tail, mumbling, "Yep. Snails."

---

"Excuse us, Rainbow Dash," said Apple Bloom, smiling innocently. "We're here to ask ya a few questions."

Rainbow Dash lowered her book, a suspicious look on her face as she said, "Okay..."

Apple Bloom nodded, asking, "What ya been up to, hangin' around the library and all?"

Rainbow Dash placed a bookmark within her novel, then set it aside, shrugging and answering, "Just catching up on the latest Daring Do."

"Oh, ah see," Apple Bloom said, glancing to Scootaloo with a smirk. "So ya decided to blow off yer stunt flyin' class to do some readin'?"

Rainbow Dash flinched, but quickly recovered, saying, "Well, I had nothing else to do, because that got canceled."

"Canceled?" asked Scootaloo, cocking her head. "Why would it have gotten canceled?"

"Because..." Rainbow Dash began, rolling her eyes, her expression indicating she was attempting to drum up a reason. "... none of the pegasi that I was supposed to be instructing were able to make it."

"That's a shame," Apple Bloom said, still smiling. "Shouldn't ya be practicin' the stunts yer gonna teach 'em, though?"

Rainbow Dash sighed, picking up the book she'd set aside and flipping open to where she'd stopped. Annoyed, she said, "Look, I'm just trying to enjoy the latest installment of Daring Do. Can you please just leave me to it?"

Scootaloo stepped forward, a pleading look in her eyes, but Apple Bloom put a hoof to her shoulder before she said anything.

Instead, Apple Bloom cheerfully said, "Sorry to bother ya! We'll just be on our way."

She looked to Scootaloo with a beam, emphatically flicking her head toward the door. Scootaloo looked perplexed by this, but began for the exit nonetheless. Apple Bloom followed behind. Sweetie Belle scowled at Apple Bloom, shot a sheepish grin at Rainbow Dash, then took off after the other Crusaders.

"Thought they'd never leave," Rainbow Dash mumbled, laying against the stairs as she continued with her book.

In the moment after, however, the door to the nearby backroom burst open, a puffy-cheeked stallion (that could only be described as nerdy) stumbling out, gasping for breath. Rainbow Dash set aside her book, unsure what to do or how to help this stallion, but two other stallions of a similar description ran toward him, guiding him toward the door.

"Eh, sorry Twilight!" called back the thinner of the two. "Looks like this session has to be cut short!"

"Is he going to be okay?" Twilight asked, stepping out of the room, looking and sounding guilty. "I had no idea he was allergic..."

"Oh, no, don't worry, he'll be just fine!" called back the "not-as-thin" stallion. "We'll take care of him."

"Oh, okay..." she said with an uneasy giggle, waving to the three of them. "See you next week!"

"See you!" the two called back in unison, kicking shut the door behind them.

Rainbow Dash eyed the door with perplexity, then looked to Twilight, asking, "Who were they?"

"Oh, just friends of mine," Twilight said, shrugging with an embarrassed chuckle. Suddenly, however, her attention snapped to Rainbow Dash, as if the pegasus had just arrived. "Rainbow Dash! I didn't hear you come in!"

"Oh, sorry," Rainbow Dash said, sliding the novel she'd set down back and forth across the stair. "I just wanted to catch up on my reading, and—"

"No, it's fine," Twilight said, waving dismissively with a laugh. "It's just... I didn't expect you to be here, is all."

"Well, new Daring Do just came out last week!" Rainbow Dash chimed, holding high the book she was referring to. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"Well, I thought you said something about being busy all week," Twilight said, her eyes upturned as she recalled Rainbow Dash's words. "I had that copy reserved for you, because you said you had some important weather scheduling to manage."

"Oh! That!" Rainbow Dash shouted, then cleared her throat, laughing casually. "I remember now. You see, I had some accumulated vacation time that I didn't know about, so I decided to take a few days off."

"Vacationing, huh?" Twilight asked, a snide smile on her face. "So you decided to spend your vacation time in Ponyville?"

"Well, big cities are overrated," reasoned Rainbow Dash, "and why go fly around in the wilderness when I can read about Daring's adventures in them?"

She presented her book proudly, then flipped it open, blissfully resuming the story from where she'd left off.

Twilight rolled her eyes, then called out, "Spike!" She waited for a response, and, upon receiving none, she shouted again, "Spike!" Twilight glanced about, looking worried.

"Is Spike not here?"

"I haven't seen him since I showed up," Rainbow Dash said indifferently.

"Well, where'd he go?" Twilight asked, more to herself than to Rainbow Dash.

"Dunno. I did see Owlowiscious fly out, though. Maybe he went looking for him."

"I'd better go see if they're alright," Twilight said, glancing to the door. "You'll be okay here by yourself, right?"

"Yeah, sure," Rainbow Dash answered absently, turning the page in her book.

Twilight glanced to her with a doubtful look, then shook it away, teleporting out of the library. Rainbow Dash lowered her book, grumbling quietly as she rubbed at her eyes.

---

"Remind me why we've got this giant sack of peppermints and we're carrying it through the Everfree Forest," murmured Sweetie Belle, scowling ahead at Apple Bloom.

"What do you mean we?" Scootaloo scolded through clenched teeth, scrambling to her left to keep the tilting bag from falling.

"Ya see this pack ah brung along?" Apple Bloom asked, holding out her right hip as she continued walking.

"Yeah, what about it?" Sweetie asked. "What has it got to do with all this peppermint?"

"In this here pack is a decoy potion," Apple Bloom explained, looking forward again with a determined smile. "All we need t' do is distract Zecora, then ah replace the real potion, which looks exactly like mah decoy, and hide it away. Simple as that."

"Isn't that stealing?" muttered Scootaloo, grinding her teeth together as she focused on keeping her load balanced.

"Eh, ah wouldn't call it stealin'," Apple Bloom reasoned. "More like borrowin', really."

"And how is all this peppermint, which Twist charged a fortune for, supposed to help?" Sweetie asked, somewhat cross.

"You'll see," she mused, halting in her tracks as Zecora's hut came into view. "Alright, we should be close enough. Set that there bag behind that tree."

Scootaloo trudged to the tree Apple Bloom pointed at, then fell to her side, panting with exhaustion.

"Alrighty! Ya'll go hide. Ah'll go get that potion."

Sweetie Belle nudged Scootaloo's leg, frowned at her for a moment, then seized her tail and began to drag her to cover, the pegasus groaning in protest. Applebloom walked over to the bag, ripping free the string it was tied with. She reached inside, pulling out a hoofful of the peppermint treats. With a mischievous chuckle, Apple Bloom set them down one by one as she made her way to Zecora's front door. Having made a neat trail leading straight to the sack of peppermint, Apple Bloom took a deep breath, then rapidly knocked at the door. She leaped away, Zecora opening the door only a moment after she'd disappeared from sight. Confused, the zebra glanced to and fro, then looked to the ground, gasping when she found one of the delicious peppermints to be laying there. She cautiously scanned the surrounding area, then shrugged, snatching up the treat and gobbling it down. Zecora smacked her lips, then spotted the trail of peppermints that she had begun. With eyes like a foal's on Hearth's Warming morning, Zecora attacked the trail.

Apple Bloom, seeing her opportunity to make the swap, darted into the hut as silently as possible. She searched frantically, then beamed when she found the potion she'd helped Zecora to brew. She pulled out her decoy, then set it beside the real thing. With a triumphant giggle, she swiped the truth potion, stowed it away in her bag, then ran outside and returned to her cover, all before Zecora finished off the trail of peppermints and dragged the enormous sack into her hut. With a silent hoof pump, Apple Bloom dashed away into the forest, her friends close behind.

After a short stretch of galloping, the Cutie Mark Crusaders slowed to a trot.

Sweetie Belle glanced to Apple Bloom's saddlebag, asking, "So what now? Why did we need to steal that potion?"

"Let's just say we need to pay Rainbow Dash another visit," Apple Bloom said, grinning wildly.

"Why do I get the feeling this isn't going to end well?" Scootaloo said, almost never the worry wart of the group.

---

Rainbow Dash read on, too engrossed in Daring Do's latest epic adventure to notice the three fillies watching her through the window. Rubbing her hooves together in anticipation, Apple Bloom lithely set the flask containing the truth potion in front of the library door. She knocked furiously, then dove into the bushes.

"That'll never work!" Sweetie Belle whispered, glaring at the flask. "You think she's just gonna see the potion and chug it down?"

"Haven't ya noticed how that there container is shaped?" Apple Bloom reasoned, pointing to the flask. "Looks just like a soda bottle, don'tcha think?"

Rainbow Dash opened the door, looking annoyed, then spotted the bubbling blue elixir that had been left for her. She picked it up with her hoof, plucking the cork out with her teeth, then sniffed at it. She eyed the potion for a moment, then shrugged, downing the bottle's contents in a matter of seconds. With a loud belch, she tossed the bottle away, then drew back inside and shut the door.

"Oh, no way," Sweetie Belle muttered, half disbelievingly and half angrily.

"C'mon! Let's go talk to 'er!" Apple Bloom shouted, jumping out of cover and throwing open the door.

After exchanging wary glances, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo followed her inside, shutting the door behind them.

Rainbow Dash glanced over her shoulder, then turned to the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a glare.

"So, you're back," she said, eyeing the three of them with disdain. "What do you want this time?"

"Ah don't think ya was answerin' us truthfully the last time we done spoke with ya," Apple Bloom scolded, pointing at Rainbow Dash. "What reason did ya have t' lie t' Applejack?"

Rainbow Dash stared at her blankly, her eyes glistening in the pale moonlight that spilled in through the windows. Suddenly, the whites of the pegasus's eyes glowed a soft blue.

The trio of fillies gasped at this, but Rainbow Dash grinned lightly as she seated herself on the stairs, answering in earnest, "I didn't want her to find out why I'd blown her off."

"I'm guessing your reasons had nothing to do with teaching flying stunts..." Scootaloo said, her lips pursed.

"Nope," Rainbow Dash answered, looking to the ceiling, a smile still on her face as her eyes repeated the mysterious glow from a moment before. "Truth be told, I lost my job, and I didn't want to worry her with it."

"You lost your job?!" the three shouted in unison.

Rainbow Dash nodded solemnly, but retained her grin, adding, "I'm not too broken up over it; I've always gotten by before."

"You're taking this so lightly!" Scootaloo said, reacting more profoundly to Rainbow Dash's confession than she had. "You were the weather manager for all of Ponyville!"

"I was," Rainbow Dash said with a shrug, looking wholly unperturbed. "Now I'm not."

"That potion certainly does a number on the brain..." mumbled Sweetie Belle.

"What was that?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, nothing, nothing!" Sweetie Belle stammered, stepping away from the inquisitive pegasus.

"Let me get this straight. You don't want to turn to Applejack on this," Scootaloo said, sounding puzzled, "so you're just hanging out at the library, with no job?"

"Yep," Rainbow Dash answered with a nod.

"Dang..." Scootaloo breathed as she gave Rainbow Dash a pitying look, despite the smile she retained.

"Well, that ain't good," Apple Bloom said, frowning at Rainbow Dash for a moment. "But, ah actually had another question fer ya."

"Shoot," Rainbow Dash said, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo looking to Apple Bloom in confusion.

"Ya know just a couple nights ago," Apple Bloom began, slow and cautious, "just after Diamond Tiara split?"

"Uh-huh."

"You sorta... er... 'nuzzled' mah big sister, if that's the word," Applebloom said, sounding embarrassed, while Sweetie and Scootaloo looked outright baffled.

"That's right. What about it?"

"Well, ah want t' know... why. Why'd ya nuzzle 'er?"

Rainbow Dash chuckled lightly, her eyes lighting up once more as she ruffled Applebloom's mane.

"Simple. I've had a crush on her since, like, forever."

"You what?!" the three shouted.

"Well, maybe not forever, but you get what I mean," Rainbow Dash said, still smiling at the three fillies.

"What do ya mean ya've got a crush on 'er?!" Apple Bloom asked, horrified.

Rainbow Dash shrugged, answering plainly, "Exactly what it sounds like. I've got a crush on Applejack. I've had a lot of crushes over the years."

"So... what ya've been doin' with 'er in Sweet Apple Acres..."

"It was sort of a scheme to make her interested in me," Rainbow Dash answered, chuckling guiltily as she shook her head. "It couldn't have worked out any worse, huh?"

Apple Bloom fell to her haunches, her jaw hanging and her brow raised. She looked ready to say something, but for the longest time she remained silent.

Apple Bloom seemed about ready to speak when Sweetie Belle asked curiously, "You said you had other crushes?"

Rainbow Dash nodded, looking puzzled by the question.

"Like who?" Sweetie asked, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looking dumbfounded by this question.

Rainbow Dash hummed a note in thought, answering, "Well, that's kind of a long story..."

"Why not just start from the beginning?" asked Sweetie Belle.

Rainbow Dash paused, seeming to consider this.

Apple Bloom frowned, asking, "Ya aren't actually gonna—"

"It all started back when I was just tiny foal, living in good old Cloudsdale," began Rainbow Dash, a prideful fire kindled in her eyes.

"Oh goody..." Apple Bloom whimpered, her ears drooping.

Comments

[Drifting Heart]

as much as i despise appledash this is pretty well written

[Jackie]

PSH, gonna read this for the AppleDash!

[Sinful Pickle]

is rd really about to tell the cmc about every crush she's ever had?

[Shafdogg009]

I'm more concerned for Diamond Tiara's well being. Yes she's a jerk for spreading hostility towards Rainbow, Applejack, and eventually Scootaloo over some nasty rumors, but I honestly don't think that's enough to warrant death on her. And besides, what would Filthy Rich do once he found out all of Ponyville didn't give a flying feather about his own daughter?

Now that that's outta the way, Rainbow has one hell of a story to tell (not just to the CMC, but to Applejack as well).

Lastly, I love the 'ooh, piece of candy' idea. Poor Zecora.

[Doom Trot]

Zecora dialogue is really flipping difficult to write. So I went ahead and made her a main character.
/genius

1862246
Thank you!

1862386
Buck yeah!

1867321

1886157
Diamond Tiara will be a major part of the story, but only when the context is present. Obviously, Rainbow Dash's love life doesn't have much to do with her (before Caught in the Act, anyway). Plus, I wanted to include Twist somewhere in here, even if her inclusion is really indirect. That's why Zecora loves those mint... treats. (I don't entirely know what kind of candy they are.)

[Prince Laviere]

friggin' yes. hope Tiaria suffers for nearly causing the death of Rainbow and Applejack, hurting them, and scootaloo, and for being an all-round bitch.

[Cola_Bubble_Gum]

C'mon, don't leave me hanging...WANT MOAR...!

[Slate the Pegasus]

I love it a lot BUT I NEED MORE