Clipped Wings

by Desrium

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

What you don’t say… somepony else will.

Falcon couldn’t believe this. Steiner had just done one of the most heartless things the red colt had ever seen, and he had been the victim of apparent heartlessness. He had heard all of the taunts and knew the terrible teasing that came with the death of his parents. Those gut wrenching experiences seemed much more preferable than having his companion share intimate details that were meant to be locked in the mind and soul of the bronze stallion who wept in the influence of his magic.

He cringed, why hadn’t he been more vocal? Klaxon was able to silence Steiner with one statement but was unable to do the same when the focus was on him. Falcon should have spoken up, should have refused the information the unicorn was so callously sharing against Klaxon’s wishes.

Yet part of him wanted to know, and the shockingly simple, aloof summary of the earth pony’s past explained a great deal about his mannerisms. Falcon Wing hated himself a little for that. This was the pony who found him in a dumpster and even though the wingless pegasus’ first impression of him was less than flattering, Falcon knew he wasn’t a malevolent soul. He didn’t object when Steiner insisted on taking the red colt with them on their way home!

Steiner set Klaxon down, sensing the stallion’s rage had been replaced solely with his sadness. “But covering wounds,” Steiner continued to say, his voice suddenly not as cold and impassive as before; “is not the way to heal them. You have reminded me of that, Falcon Wing. Ever since that awful day Klaxon has grown a shell and has hidden himself away in it, escaping his own hurt by hurting others with words or his hooves.” The unicorn looked to his friend with a pained look. He did not enjoy doing this. “You shed tears and are aware of your weakness,” he said to Falcon Wing, who couldn’t stand to see Klaxon in such a state, much less hear more of Steiner’s psychological theories. “Klaxon says harsh words and tries to ignore his own.”

“So what if I cry!?” Falcon finally shouted, unable to take any more of this. “That’s not me accepting my weaknesses! That’s me being sad! That’s me reacting to some of the most awful shit I’ve ever known in my life!” His mind was reeling. “You know what would be healing!? Letting Klaxon tell me all of that himself instead of betraying his trust like that! You think this will help him in any way? If anything you just showed that he can’t tell you anything --“

“I didn’t TELL him anything,” Klaxon spoke up from his corner of the cellar. “He was there. He lived in the same compound I did. And his share of tragedy happened before mine, actually.”

“Oh, please no…” Falcon responded lowly. “Two wrongs don’t make a right! I would think the whole end of the world would have taught us that!”

But Steiner only closed his eyes. “Tell him, Klaxon; I’ve got my own healing to do.”

“You think Steiner using magic without a horn is strange, right? You haven’t seen anything. He was just a foal when his magic manifested. It was some dark afternoon behind the compound walls, Steiner and I along with a few other of the other young ones were sitting around trying to make ourselves useful,” Klaxon ran foreleg over his nose, sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Back then all Steiner had was his father; and he always wanted to help him out. His father being an earth pony and all, he would watch him do heavy lifting and such but couldn’t help out on the count of him being so little. His father saw this and gave the kid a Sparkle Cola, just for the thought. Must’ve been one hell of a cola because after downing it, Steiner’s eyes and horn started glowing.”

The dark blue unicorn let out a pained sigh as he too recalled the memory.

“I swear that was the happiest day of his life,” Klaxon said. Falcon’s heart lurched, realizing the tragic turn in this story must’ve been right around the corner. “He was a fast learner you know, picking up all sorts of spells on his own. All intuition or something; no one taught him. He would just go off alone and practiced and all of a sudden he’s got a new spell. Helped his dad out with the chores while I was trying my hoof at guard duty…”

“Misery loves company” Falcon Wing thought bitterly, already making an inference that something terrible happened to Steiner’s father. Did the two ponies bond over the loss of their parents?

“… then one day… I don’t know what magic he was trying to do or if he meant to do it at all… he was just glowing and having a fit… all I remember was that flash of light and just like that, his father was gone. Ash.”

Falcon nearly fell over, stunned.

“Then he got his cutie mark”

There was no stopping the red pegasus and he hit the concrete, while Steiner mourned in silence.

“I am so sorry. For the both of you…I can’t even imagine…” Falcon trailed off glumly, still yet to right himself. How does one even cope with killing their parent? How does one cope with being rewarded for it!?

“Can’t even imagine? You’re an orphan too aren’t you?” Klaxon asked, seeming to reflect the way the red colt had asked his own question that day. Steiner lost his horn and my wings were clipped, what did you lose?

“I wasn’t the one who killed my parents. I didn’t have a hoof in it at all,” Falcon Wing replied mentally with his orange eyes pinned to the floor. It was the honest truth but Falcon couldn’t say that. How could he even think of such a thing? The incredible trauma these two stallions had buried in their years of life demanded attention and care, things he should have been providing instead of stumbling about as if he were in a daze. It’s the least he could do to repay them for all they had done for him, a complete stranger at the time.

“Unlike me… Steiner didn’t have a mother. She died giving birth to him,” Klaxon continued. Because there was so much more to this story that Falcon was just DYING to hear. “We took him in and, for a few years things were fine between the four of us. Sure, he got odd looks from the others in the compound from time to time but things were good… I don’t even remember when he lopped off his own damn horn but he did it because everyone else was worried. Worried he’d do it again, but he had them convinced that he was safe again… if not a little crazy.” Klaxon started to choke up again. “Things would still be like that if I hadn’t fucked up like I did!”

Falcon willed himself to speak. “It might have been a happy time for you, but Steiner… he willingly gave up his horn out of shame and guilt! He wasn’t happy at all, even if your family took him in! And what happened to your parents...!” he trailed off, a thousand thoughts racing through his head. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t a therapist; he was barely old enough to take care of himself! What could he possibly say to help these two ponies?

“I… know you still have guilt about what happened. If I were in either one of your places, I would hate myself,” Falcon said cautiously. Steiner nodded solemnly while Klaxon scowled. They wanted to share their harsh realities with the former pegasus; they got his honest opinion. No more secrets and ulterior motives. “But, damn it, how many years ago did this happen? How long have you two been on your own in this raider infested town, stealing from and killing monsters just so you can live another day!?” he pressed on, getting back onto his hooves and standing as tall as he could. He was just a tad bit shorter than his elders. “Sometimes… sometimes you just need to let go of the bad in life, stop lingering on it and let it be what it is because otherwise it starts messing with your present. You can’t lose a limb holding onto the past when you need all of them to deal with the trials ahead!”

He was practically panting and on the verge of sweating bullets when he finished his spiel, wondering if his words got through to the stallions or if he was just making himself look stupid again. He would settle for either or, appealing to the rational part of their minds or bringing back their amused faces even if it meant they would only laugh at him. At least they’d be laughing.

“So quit it with the ruse, you have your regrets but who doesn’t? Ponies aren’t perfect. I know both of you can be better…could be… amazing, even. Before that you’ve got to forgive yourselves and if need be, each other. Only then can you truly… heal.”

Comments

[Warbalist]

Steiner lost his horn and my wings were clipped, what did you lose?

^This doesn't have quotation marks or anything to suggest that it was either said or thought.

"Ash" - Well ain't that some sshhhhh!

[Desrium]

3168401
While that line wasn't said by any of the characters, I added italics to it to separate it from the rest of the narrative. I hope no one gets further confused by it, seeing as not everyone adds quotes to thoughts as well as dialogue...