It's like going through shit hoping to find a nugget. A gold nugget.
Fallout: Equestria Related Fics1,305 stories ·2,023 members
Game Crossovers4,408 stories ·5,467 members
Fallout Equestria2,614 stories ·5,356 members
I Just Want a Comment15,687 stories ·3,667 members
Authors Helping Authors8,588 stories ·2,461 members
Stories on Goodreads28,595 stories ·492 members
Falcon Wing is a pegasus pony living in the last bastions of pegasus civilization after the sky was sealed away behind the clouds. Constantly the victim of bullying and physical abuse, he flees from the skies and thus he leaves his home behind, only to find that in a twist of fate he is unable to return.
Stranded on the ground, Falcon must learn the rules of the Equestrian Wasteland or end up perishing like so many others.
Page generated in 0.104 seconds
Total duration
850 users online
1,216,272 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
1470806
Thank you very much :>
What the fudge is this? Another of the ultra rare completed Fo:E stories? Have to put this on my read later list then! Expect some reviews of it later on when I have the time to it
1485294
I am looking forward to it =D
Okay first of all, it is so short! While that is not a bad thing when you think on how many big Fo:E works that are out there, does it mean that it dosn´t get the time it needs. I know that this is the first chapter, and they are always hard. The dilemma about how much you should tell or not tell, how many details there should be and what not else, so it is no biggie.
The second thing I want to say is show don´t tell. Out of the 6 paragraphs was only 2 of them showing what Falcon Wing was doing instead of lining up a line of facts like the 4 others. It would be so nice to read the moment when he get caught, or the scene when he loose his wings, because as of now does it not have the heavy impact that you would get by showing it, and that is rather sad when your whole story lies on a foundation of a wingless pegasus.
And now some more light hearted words. The idea about a wingless pegasus is a good one, and I think that it is the first time I sees it like this. There is a lot of stories where the pegasus only have one wing, either by birth defect or in some other way, the Wasteland is not the most friendly place after all. And I can´t wait to see what you do with the idea.
And your raiders is nicely written. It is the first time I read the idea that they use their resources to heal up their fun so it last longer. That little part was the thing that shined most in your story. So I hope that we are going to see more small details like those in the future
1485406
Thank you very much for the input. I would appreciate you give Phoenix Rising the same treatment so I know exactly what to strive for in the third story :>
Holy shit I remember that from the first FOE
Poor littlepip.
Oh and by the way. The "stable dweller" a.k.a: littlepip does rush off into te unknown... Alot.
Especially when she went in red eyes camp.
Huh... I see alot of semblance of littlepips situation in the beginning of the first FOE
1712185
There are a few homages to Little Pip over the course of the stories and a few jokes about her mannerisms, not counting her...colorful repertoire of swears. Glad you caught on to them :>
Hahaha I totally noticed alot of littlepip in falcon. And his difficulty coping the "wasteland way" I Hella remember that battle though, truly an epic one. This is definatly one of my favorites.
1723633
Thank you very much, please have this mustache
Damn son, that's a lot of chapters uploaded in one day.
2143280
Chapters written months ago. Just transferred them over to the story that started it all.
I like the story so far. Interesting start. Feels murky#7 ish. Because of the wings. I bet that steiners ability to use magic without a horn will be useful
2298019
Haven't read other Fallout Equestria stories aside from Guise of Chaos, Shadowfall and The Hooves of Fate. Murky and Pink Eyes are definitely high on my list for when I do have the time to spare, though.
OOOOOOHH. I like where this is going
I am one of thee best Project horizons fans, I shall conquer this fic! and then tell you all how awesome it was!
Beautiful flight description
I'm loving the short sentences and truncated chapters. Definitely more my speed, although my chapters have been getting a little fat as of late. Also keeps the reader reading.
The second sentence needs a verb changed:
Death tends to travel faster than a pony but it lack(s) the ability to steer.
2770811
Scumbag S key. Surprised MS word didn't catch that when I was writing it. I could only imagine the chapters I wrote in-browser being rife with typos like that.
Thanks for taking the time to read, I really appreciate it.
The paragraphs are getting a little fat here. Though that's not necessarily a problem, it does start making the dialogue a little confusing to follow when more than one character speaks in one paragraph. At least, I'm far more familiar with books written that way.
3160065
In the words of a good friend of mine who also writes:
"Disgusting."
It is a sin of mine and I'm not sure if I ever kicked the habit while writing this story, or if I changed the format near the end. I should go fix that some time.
Patchenfix is the best pony name, ever.
Steiner lost his horn and my wings were clipped, what did you lose?
^This doesn't have quotation marks or anything to suggest that it was either said or thought.
"Ash" - Well ain't that some sshhhhh!
3168401
While that line wasn't said by any of the characters, I added italics to it to separate it from the rest of the narrative. I hope no one gets further confused by it, seeing as not everyone adds quotes to thoughts as well as dialogue...
"It’s not enough to scrounge and scavenge in order to survive until tomorrow if tomorrow is only worse than today"
^This. This is wonderful and easy to relate to. Many people have this pessimistic outlook, and something like this can grab their attention long enough for them to take the idea of working to make a better tomorrow seriously.
3179325
Glad you liked it. I remember when this chapter was actually the original ending to this story. Things escalated quickly, as they say...
“Fogchaser, victim of a fragile heart” - Ouch.
Stairs... Nice.
So Falcon Wing has the wasteland equivalent of Google Glass? What an early-adopting, hipster!
And I might be slightly jealous.
3544973
Falcon hipster. In this new light, I'm starting to think he deserved his many asskickings.
"Shaken...a bit stirred..." Nice.
Watch out. You used the musical "chord" where "cord" would have done the job.
3661896
Blast! <_> Well it's been rectified now, so thanks a lot!
This was a nice respite of a chapter.
One note that seemed off: "as if her were in a rush." You may want to see to that sentence.
3790488
Oh the irony, given what directly preceded it.
It's funny when something you wrote in the past in a completely different context ends up becoming autobiographical, no?
EDIT
1/16 - 1/18/14
Went back into this story and fixed it up a bit. Corrections include proper dialogue format and punctuation! You know, those basic things this story sorely lacked! Dear lord how could I have left it like this for so long -- ahem. Fun fact, if I made a drinking game out of how many times a semicolon was used out of place I would probably be dead by alcohol poisoning by chapter ten. The first chapter ten, that is.
I know the chapter titles are confusing leave me alone.
Twisty chapter.
Note: "Would you rather waiting out your concussion" - Might want to see to that sentence.
3854760
Muchos gracias, amigo.
*Sings Aerosmith*
I'm BACK!
*Funky riff*
I'm BACK in the saddle again!
4358345
I see your Aerosmith and raise you an ACDC.
He seems slightly...annoyed? In this chapter.
5578937
Good to see you back 'round these parts.
Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)
6556370
Danke schoen.
I stopped reading murky because of that broadcast. It broke me.
love the reference to stealth games.
Loved this story the hole way through! will definitely be reading Tangential Writings: Short stories after the end, next.