Parks and Wilderness

by stphven

Chapter 27 - Go fish

“Got any Princesses?”

“Go fish.”

I draw a card from the deck. Eight of hearts. My wings ruffle in irritation.

Across from me, Anon squints at the cards in his hand. He doesn’t know the numerals for numbers yet, so he has to count the pips to figure out their value.

”Got… freeze?”

“Threes,” I correct, hoofing over my three of moons. Anon takes it from me, smirking as he lays it down with a three of his own. Cementing his already formidable lead.

I am Private Fruit Punch, and I am getting cleaned out! The human’s already won two ration bars, my good mane brush, and a random ten bit coin I found in my saddlebag. The responsible part of me wants to quit before I lose anything really important. But on the other hoof, surely I'm due for a win! Just gotta pick the right card…

A clip-clopping of hooves interrupts my intense focus. The two of us look up to see a familiar crystal unicorn duck into our tent.

“Hey, Sarge!” I say, simultaneous with Anon's ”Hey, Gray.”

Glacier pauses, eyebrow raised as she surveys the scene. Anon and I are sprawled lazily across the sandy floor. Water bottles and empty snack wrappers scattered nearby. My armour is lying in a heap in one corner - as a medic, I’ve officially declared it Too Damn Hot to keep wearing. In the centre of the tent is a wide, flat rock Anon found, acting as a card table. Circling it are a bunch of empty saddle bags we’ve repurposed as cushions.

I pat a bag invitingly. With a grateful nod, Glacier gingerly lowers herself down. Like me, she’s out of armour and sporting quite a few bandages. She’s still a little unsteady on her hooves, but is looking much better now that she’s had plenty of water and rest.

”Ahhh... Thanks. Well, it looks like you two are having fun. What are you playing?”

“Go Fish,” I say with a smile.

”Huh. Does Anon even know how to play?”

“I taught him! Though it’s a pretty easy game, to be honest. He just needed a little help with the numbers.”

“I see. So who’s winning?”

“Urrgh! Don’t even ask,” I pout. “That reminds me: Anon, you got any fours?”

”Go fish.”

“Damn it.”

Glacier chuckles as I draw another card. Shifting her shoulders, she sets down a few items she had balanced on her back. Her horn must still be sore if she’s not just using magic to float everything around.

“Whatcha got there?”

”Lunch,” she says, nudging the pile towards the table. “I just finished debriefing with Oak. He sent me off to get some food and some more rest. I thought I’d grab some for both of you as well.”

“Ooh, thanks!” I chirp, eyeing the pile. She’s got a pretty good spread. There’s the basic ration bars and trail mix I’ve come to expect from the PWG. Then there’s a couple of daisy sandwiches (slightly crushed, but still good); three apples (mostly fresh); a tin of peaches; a packet of hay crisps; a bag of jellybeans; some weird Neighponese candy; and a big block of salted caramel. Nice!

“Quite the haul you’ve got here.”

Glace smiles, looking a little embarrassed.

”The whole squad chipped in. You’d think I’d been gone a month, the way they’re trying to fatten me up.”

“Ha! They’re just happy to have you back. Hey Anon, anything here look edible to you?”

Glacier and I gesture to the pile, then mime eating. Anon gets the idea pretty quick. Soon the three of us are happily sampling all the different treats, our card game conveniently forgotten.

“So Glace,” I say between mouthfuls of crisps. “Any idea how long we’ll be stuck out here?”

I gesture vaguely at the rocky walls around us. We’re currently encamped in one of the many low ravines near Hoofrest. After Glacier convinced the PWG to stay with Anon, the next step had been to find someplace safe to wait. Nopony wanted to stay out in the open, under the blazing desert sun, and in Sand Wyrm territory to boot. Going back to Hoofrest was, apparently, out of the question. So the PWG ponies found a nice bit of overhanging cliff, and set up tents in the shade. They’ve rigged them up sort of like marquees - basically just roofs with no sides - so we get shelter without it being too stifling.

“I mean, it’s not so bad here, compared to out in the desert. But isn’t this where we ran into that sandipede the other day? Not super keen on sharing the shade with more creepy crawlies.”

I frown at the craggy walls, suspicious. Glacier finishes a mouthful of sandwich before answering.

”Shouldn't be too much longer, I suspect. We’re just waiting for the LT to get here. Oak says they left Cookie - uh, that’s our lieutenant, Sugar Cookie - back at Appleoosa. She was trying to round up the local Guard detachment. You remember them? The Guards who were supposed to meet us at the train station and never showed up?”

“Ah, yeah. Them. Whatever happened to them?”

Glacier shrugs.

”No idea. Hopefully we’ll find out soon - Cricket said she saw a few figures flying over Hoofrest.”

I rack my brains for a moment, before matching Cricket’s name to a face. Pegasus, green with pink curls, currently on lookout duty. She’s been circling overhead for the last hour or so, clearly marking our location for any reinforcements.

”There are hardly any pegasi in Hoofrest or Tranquility Springs, so the ones Cricket saw might be from our missing Guard unit. If they’re on their way, then Cookie is probably leading them.”

"Makes sense," I nod. “So what happens when Cookie gets here?”

”Well, she’s a bit of a softy, so I’m hoping she’ll let us take Anon somewhere more comfortable. The outskirts of Tranquility Springs, maybe, or the Guard station in Appleoosa? Then I guess we just wait for… I don’t know. A company of PWG to take him into custody? Some elite mages from PCSGU? Honestly, I have no idea what the procedure is. And I doubt Cookie knows either.”

Turning to Anon, she adds teasingly:

”You sure are causing quite a bit of trouble, mister!”

Anon pauses, half eaten apple raised to his mouth.

”Uhh?”

"Aww, don’t bully him,” I laugh, wrapping a hoof around his shoulder. “It’s not his fault that the entire PWG is scared of one itty bitty human.”

Anon glances between the two of us, then shrugs and goes back to eating his apple. Glacier just chuckles.

“You really aren’t scared of humans at all, are you?”

“I don’t see why I should be,” I shrug. “He’s cool. We’ve just been shooting the shit the whole time you were debriefing. Oh! That reminds me, check this out: Anon, hoofbump!”

Anon obligingly raises a fist and bumps it to my own raised hoof.

“Nice!” we say in unison.

Glacier doubles over laughing.

”Wha-,” she wheezes. “What have you been teaching my poor boy? And! And how do you shoot the shit when you don’t even speak the same language?”

“Eh,” I say, rolling your hoof. “Happens all the time in the Harmony Corps. You should have seen my first partner: a minotaur who only spoke Prench!”

Glacier just laughs even harder.

Anon reaches a long arm over, gently patting her head.

”Gray okay?” he asks, amused.

Glacier manages to stop giggling long enough to reply "Gray okay." He gives her mane a playful tousle. She grins up at him. She’s clearly not afraid of the human, either.

“D’aww. It’s good to see you both smiling like this.”

They’ve been through a lot, as their various scars and bandages can attest. It’s also nice to see Glacier smiling in general. Just a few days ago it took me loads of effort to earn a single, quick grin. Now she seems far more… cheery? Content? Whatever it is, Anon has apparently been a good influence on her.

As if reading my mind, Glacier smirks. “Don’t get used to it. I’m sure it’s just the blood loss and lack of sleep that’s making me act silly. I’ll probably be back to being Sergeant Grumpy first thing in the morning.”

“Sure, sure,” I grin. “You keep telling yourself that.”

That earns me another warm smile. All the blood, sweat, and tears were worth it to see Glacier starting to open up like this.

The three of us continue happily chatting the day away. Mostly me and Glacier, to be honest, but Anon seems to enjoy just having other people around. We ask him questions now and again, or make jokes, and he responds in kind. He and Glace have gotten really good at their little games of charades. He won’t be speaking Equestrian any time soon, but he’s picking up plenty of useful words. And I'm quickly overtaking Glacier as the foremost expert on human language. No surprises there - I'm expected to pick up new languages in the Harmony Corps.

The afternoon slowly wears on in a pleasant haze. The kind of hot, lazy day where it’s too warm for anything but lying around. At some point we resume our card game. With Glacier joining as a third player, I think it’s time to try some of my more advanced Go Fish strategies. They’re bound to win!

...They don’t win. Glace is kind enough to loan me some candy so I can pay off my crippling debt to Anon. I swear I'm never playing cards with him again! Just as soon as I can win back my stuff…

Occasionally, Sergeant Oak or one of the other guards comes in to check in on us. Not that they’re ever very far; the rest of the PWG are in a cluster of tents just a few hooves away. They keep an eye on Anon - there’s at least one guard watching his tent at all times - but otherwise keep to themselves. Allegedly the human’s tent is set a ways from the others “so he doesn’t feel overwhelmed.” I suspect it’s really so the PWG don’t feel overwhelmed. Oh well. Better than trying to lock him up or something.

Eventually, as the sun is beginning to sink towards the horizon, I hear a bit of a commotion outside our tent. Hooves stomping, excited chattering, Oak barking orders. Glace and Anon start to rise from their seats, but I quickly put my hoof down.

“None of that. You two stay right where you are. I’ll go see what’s up, while you invalids take it easy.”

Glacier grumbles something about not being an invalid, but I ignore her. Stepping out of our tent, the sun hits me like a - a, uh… A really hot, bright thing. Whatever; it’s too hot for metaphors. As my eyes adjust to the brightness, I see the whole camp is in action. Ponies strapping on armour, packing up saddlebags, and generally scurrying about in the way all enlisted ponies do when they know an officer is approaching.

Several of them are looking up to the sky, pointing at something. I squint against the glare, trying to figure out what they’re looking at. But a booming voice interrupts me.

”Punch,” Sergeant Oak calls out, striding towards me. “Get your gear on, ASAP. We’re about to have company.”

“Oh, good. So Lieutenant Cookie’s finally arrived?”

”Not just her,” Oak glances behind him, at a new pony I hadn’t noticed yet. No, not a pony - a griffon! Wearing immaculate Royal Guard armour. A familiar starburst emblem emblazoned on his chestplate.

”Princess Twilight is here.”