Late to Class
Lemon Hearts’ heart was full of pride and excitement, even though her stomach was full of butterflies.
Well, butterflies, and a lemon poppyseed muffin.
She stood at the head of the large, amphitheater-shaped lecture hall, unable to keep the smile off her face and her hoof from tapping impatiently as students filtered in. Ponies who were only a year or two younger than her looked at her in confusion as they found seats in the room.
It was understandable. She didn’t look much like a ‘Professor Heartbind’. Which, of course, she wasn’t. She was only Heartbind’s TA.
The clock’s minute hand passed over the six. It was nine-thirty on the dot. Time to do this. She could just ignore the fact that students were still filtering in.
Who was late on the first day of class?
“Hey, everypony!” she said, letting her excitement color her bright, cheery voice, more than her nervous fear. “Welcome to Psych 301, Intro to Marriage and Family Therapy. My name’s Lemon Hearts. Now I know I’m not exactly what you all expected, but Professor Heartbind had a bit of an accident.”
Some of the students murmured with concern. It made sense; most of the undergrads here were in the psychology department anyways, and had likely taken some of Heartbind’s other classes. She was popular.
“Don’t you worry for a second, she’ll be just fine. It was a skiing accident while on vacation in the Empire with her parents. She’ll be back to class in a week, probably with a cast and a few screws in her legs. Surgery went well. But that does mean for the first three classes you get me, her TA. And don’t worry your little heads, the first few classes is easy stuff, going over the syllabus, talking about…”
Lemon’s voice caught in her throat as one more pony entered the classroom.
“My deepest apologies for my late arrival!” the newcomer announced loudly as she stepped into the classroom. “I lost track of the hour and I…”
Everypony was staring. Especially Lemon Hearts.
It was not every day that the Princess of the Moon herself stepped into a college classroom.
“Please, go on about your business. Do not mind me in the slightest! In fact, it may be for the very best if you pretend that I am not even here!”
Princess Luna gave a titter of laughter as she practically pranced to an open seat. Every eye was on her as she took her spot, sitting down just like any other student.
It was then that Lemon noticed what Princess Luna was wearing. Hoof warmers. A headband. A perm.
The class was still stunned to silence.
“Um, Professor, if you could continue?” Luna ventured, nervously shifting her eyes about at all the staring students.
“R-right,” Lemon stammered. “As I was saying, I’m not the professor, I’m her TA, Lemon Hearts, and I will be handling the first few classes until Professor Heartbind gets back.”
What was Princess Luna doing here?
“U-um,” she continued, her gaze jumping back to the princess every few seconds. The rest of the class had turned back towards Lemon, but they, too, kept glancing at the Princess. Luna, for her part, was smiling eagerly. “S-so, if you’ll note, I already have passed out the class syllabus out to each spot. Does everypony have one?”
“Verily!” Princess Luna cried out, and Lemon flinched.
What is happening? Some kind of surprise inspection? Why was she dressed like that?
“U-uh, w-well, I’d like to start by pointing out the Professor’s contact information. It’s on the first page. Oh, but you can’t contact her yet. Because of the, uh, surgery. But mine’s there too!”
All of her eloquence, her preparation, and her cheery confidence had evaporated.
What if she said something weird? In front of the Princess? Had she already said something weird?
“Y-yes, my contact information is right below Professor Moonbind. I MEAN Heartbind.” Maybe nopony noticed.
Everypony noticed.
“Um. Now, let’s go over the attendance policies, okay?” A few ponies in the back sat forward more. LIke they were straining to hear. Lemon’s voice was getting softer the more nervous she got.
One day in and a single mishap has completely derailed you.
Lemon took a deep, shuddering breath and closed her eyes. Silently counting to ten in her head, she opened them. It barely helped.
Many of the ponies looked concerned. Princess Luna even had a serious expression on her face.
They know you’re a fraud.
Lemon lit her horn, casting a simple megaphone spell. If her voice was going to start giving out on her, she might as well compensate.
“Professor Heartbind believes that a combination of textbook learning and in-class discussion are essential. Forty percent of your overall grade is based on classroom attendance and participation. You have two grace days; after that, any absence not cleared by the professor, or by myself, will result in…”
“So… she just showed up in class?” Twinkleshine asked.
“Yeah!” Lemon said, floating her glass with her magic. The ice clinked merrily in the glass as she swirled around the amber liquid before taking a sip. “She was… pretending to be a student, or something. But she was dressed weird. Like, she was wearing stuff from forty years ago.”
“And she didn’t say anything?” Twinkleshine asked, taking a long drink of her own beer.
Around them the student bar was mostly empty; few ponies were out drinking the night after the first day of classes.
But few students had been forced to deal with a literal immortal in their classroom, either.
“Well, some stuff. Like, telling us to ignore her, and pretend she wasn’t there. Then she… just listened. And took notes.”
“This was criminal psychology?”
“No,” Lemon said. “Intro to Marriage and Family Therapy.”
“Why? Was she… on your roster?” Twinkleshine sounded disbelieving.
“No, she wasn’t!” Lemon said. “I checked it six times!”
“So… the princess is auditing your class?” Twinkleshine laughed.
“It’s not funny, Twinkle! She threw me off my groove so hard I was barely able to get through the syllabus! I was stammering and fumbling words the entire time!”
She threw back most of the shot in a single gulp, grimacing at the alcoholic bite.
“Sorry,” Twinkle said, ears drooping. “I didn’t mean to make light. Besides, it must be bothering you; you don’t usually drink hard stuff.”
“It’d help if I knew what it was all about!” Lemon wailed. “Why was she there? Did I do something wrong? Was she there to check on me? Or…”
“Lemon. Relax. The princesses are all nice. I’m sure—”
“Not everypony is privileged enough to meet all the princesses, Twinkle!”
Twinkleshine flinched, and Lemon felt guilty. It was an old fight between Lemon and her closest friends; that Twinkle and Minuette, alongside Lyra, had been asked to serve as bridesmaids for Princess Cadance. Lemon Hearts had been left out.
“S-sorry, I shouldn’t…”
“No.” Twinkleshine slashed a hoof through the air. “Don’t apologize, Lem. You’re just stressed out.”
“I… no, it’s not okay. Even if you’re right, I shouldn’t take it out on you. It’s just… I really wanted to do right by the professor, and show her she was right to put her faith in me. Instead I was a stammering mess.”
“Maybe all you need,” Twinkle said, smiling broadly. “Is an evening of fun, a little booze, and a good night’s sleep. I know a nightclub that just opened up, and it’s mare’s night.”
That brought a smile to Lemon’s face. A bit of bar-hopping, some innocent flirting, and spending time with her best friend. It was just what she’d need to take her mind off her classroom fumble.
Besides, Twinkleshine was a great wingpony.
The next day wasn’t any better.
At least the Princess didn’t disrupt the class with her lateness.
She did, however, disrupt it just by being there.
Once again Princess Luna was dressed in some kind of throwback outfit. This time she even had a backpack and a fanny pack. The entire time she acted just like a student, only… somehow uncanny. It was as if she’d learned everything about being a student by reading a book, or something. Or perhaps by watching a play.
It didn’t help that Lemon had stayed up late drinking and flirting with a cute pegasus mare; a Wonderbolt, even. It meant she had a raging headache, even though she still had to lecture on the first chapter of the textbook.
Still, at least it wasn’t all bad. She had a second date scheduled with Fleetfoot, after all. Twinkleshine deserved some kind of medal for her champion-level wingpony-ing.
But the unpleasant mystery of Luna in her classroom held on like the lingering taste of hangover on her tongue.
She had a vague, booze-hazed memory of Twinkleshine suggesting that she just ask the princess why she was there. As if she could just go up to a Princess and demand answers. The very idea almost made her shut down entirely.
But Lemon managed to stumble her way through the lecture, as well as her two other classes for the day, somehow. Still, the shine of her first real teaching experience had faded; now she just wanted it to be over, and for Professor Heartbind to come back.
Since booze hadn’t helped, Lemon tried another tactic to help her sleep without anxiety; chamomile tea and a good book. She had a hard time focusing, though, and finally just gave up and went to bed.
The third day was even worse.
Princess Luna was not there. Lemon breathed a sigh of relief, even as she cast her eyes on the empty seat where the princess had sat the last two days. She took roll, and then started in on the day’s lecture; patient confidentiality was one of the first subjects the class would be covering.
It was only three minutes into the lecture when the Princess made her entrance.
This time she wasn’t cheerful. She wasn’t eager. And she wasn’t dressed in some strange sort of retro fashion.
“We have arrived,” she intoned regally, her voice echoing off the walls. It was enough to make Lemon shrink back, tail limp and ears pinned. “Pray continue with your lesson, Teacher’s Assistant. We shall be attentive.”
It was so very confusing.
“O-okay, I was—”
“Stop stammering,” Princess Luna demanded, standing from her seat and moving into the aisle. “Teachers must project with a clear and enunciated voice.”
“Of course, I am—”
“And you sound indecisive,” Luna said, moving to the front of the class. Her metal shoes were clicking against the linoleum floor. “How can you hope to command the respect of your students if you cannot command your own thoughts?”
“Yes, Princess. Now, we can—”
“Hold. I have questions about yesterday’s lesson. Is it really a valuable use of classroom time to spend an entire day going over a summary of the textbook? Who made the decision to do that; was it the tenured Professor, or her mere teacher’s assistant?”
Something was wrong. Very wrong. With each word, Princess Luna was growing taller and taller. There was something off about her eyes; her pupils were deforming, elongating into slits.
“Princess, what is—”
“I have concerns as well about somepony who goes out carousing and philandering instead of studying and preparing lesson plans. Are you certain you are responsible enough to perform your duties? Perhaps Fleetfoot should be aware of just what she’s getting into by agreeing to a date. You are clearly not up to her standards.”
“I…” tears were streaming down Lemon’s cheeks as she stared up at the towering alicorn. She stumbled, slumping down onto the ground. “But…”
“LEMON HEARTS! DO NOT GIVE VOICE TO YOUR FEARS AND INSECURITIES! I AM HERE, AND I SHALL SHELTER YOU!”
The voice echoed from all around her, but Lemon couldn’t place it. She couldn’t drag her eyes from the nightmare in front of her.
“Who dares?” the nightmare hissed, eyes casting about. “I am busy, and don’t have time—”
The wall behind Lemon Hearts shattered, rubble flying into the classroom. Only, it didn’t seem to hurt anypony.
Or rather…
There was nopony for it to hurt. The classroom was empty besides Lemon, the towering dark alicorn, and…
Princess Luna, once again dressed in four decades old fashion and wearing a frizzy perm.
“Sweet Lemon Hearts,” Luna said, even as the nightmare snarled and rounded towards her. “Where are you right now?”
“In Professor Heartbind’s…classroom…?”
“Try again, Lemon Hearts,” Luna coaxed gently.
There was an answer here. A truth she wasn’t quite grasping, just at the tip of her…
“A dream,” she breathed, just as the nightmare surged forwards. Luna’s horn lit, and the nightmare disappeared with a scream and a flash of blue light. “It’s a dream! A nightmare!”
“Not any longer, I hope?” Luna said kindly, moving up to her and gently helping her rise with one hoof. “Dry your tears. You are safe now. Though… I have some questions, if I may?”
“A-anything, Princess.” To be fair, Lemon was still trying to wrap her head around what was happening.
“I am in your nightmare. What you fear… is me.” Luna sounded calm, but there was a hint of something more there. Shame and regret, mostly.
Lemon felt guilty. “Um… yes. Sorry?”
“You have nothing to apologize for, my little pony. It is a consequences of my own failure that so many of my subjects still harbor fear and mistrust for me. I am truly sorry that I am not a source of comfort, but instead—”
“That’s not it!” Lemon cut in. Perhaps it was the guilt in Luna’s voice. Or maybe it was the self-hatred. Lemon had to set the record straight. “That’s not it at all!”
“You need not spare my feelings, good pony. I saw what you feared, I am used to it.”
“You don’t understand, Princess. It’s not you I’m afraid of!”
Well, that wasn’t true, and they both knew it. Luna raised an eyebrow, and Lemon flinched.
“Well, not you like that. Everypony knows you’re not like the nightmare. Everypony knows how kind you are, and what a beautiful soul you have! Nopony who looks up at the stars or the moon for even a second would ever doubt.”
Lemon was surprised at her own vehemence. Even Luna seemed taken aback.
“Then…can you explain this nightmare?”
“What kind of teacher wouldn’t be terrified when her favorite princess shows up, unannounced, to her classroom?”
Technically it wasn’t Lemon’s classroom. But it was for now, at least.
“Unannounced?” Luna said, cocking her head to the side. “But…did you not receive my message? Or see my name on your roster?”
Now it was Lemon’s turn to be confused. “On the roster? Your name wasn’t there, princess.”
“Oh! Well, perhaps there was some delay. Originally when I signed up for classes, I did so with a pseudonym. Aurora Nocturne. But the week before classes started I rethought things. I’d prefer not to hide who I am, after all.”
There had been an Aurora Nocturne on the roster. But there were always a few ponies on the roster who had pulled out last minute, or changed plans, or dropped out. She’d assumed it was one of those cases.
“Nopony told me, princess,” Lemon said.
“Strange. I sent a letter to the professor. It should have been delivered…”
Luna paused, blushing, and gave a chagrined smirk.
“...two days before classes began. While the Professor was still in surgery. I imagine the royal stationary is still on Professor Heartbind’s desk. Oh, Lemon Hearts, I deeply apologize.”
It was too much. Lemon burst into laughter. It was only a touch hysterical. “N-no harm done,” she stammered. No harm except several sleepless nights, and a large amount of pointless anxiety. “Don’t worry. I’ll fix the paperwork tomorrow. Or is it today?”
“Time doesn’t matter much in a dream,” Luna said airily, and Lemon laughed again.
“So why are you taking classes? You don’t need a degree, do you? You have… princessy stuff to do; it’s not like you need a job.”
“Verily,” Luna said. “But I did this for myself. For as long as I can remember I have been the guardian of dreams. And that has entailed a great deal of helping ponies. Through their fears, their insecurities, their weaknesses. But this modern world has rules and regulations. Most ponies need licenses and degrees to do in the waking world what I do in dreams.”
“So you signed up for classes? On a subject you already know well?”
“It did not seem fair to me to hold others to professional standards that I had not yet met myself,” the princess admitted.
Lemon felt her smile growing as she studied Luna. There was something humble in her voice, humble and proud at the same time. It made Lemon proud, too; proud of her chosen degree and the profession she was working towards, and proud of the princess who represented ponies like herself: ponies dedicated to healing minds.
“What?” Luna asked, noting the smile.
“It’s just…I’m really happy to hear you say that. Sorry I’ve been so nervous around you, Princess. I thought you were there for some kind of surprise inspection.”
“Perish the thought,” Luna replied with a laugh, and Lemon felt her anxieties and worries sloughing away. “Though, I do wonder. What was that you said about your favorite princess?”
Lemon felt herself growing pink as she ducked her head, embarrassed. “Well, it’s true. I’m a night pony, when I’m not being responsible. Nightclubs, bars, dancing. All so much better under your sky, princess. But can I ask you something? What’s up with the getup?”
“I did extensive research. Isn’t this what students usually wear?”
She sounded earnest. She sounded innocent. And eager.
Lemon burst into laughter. “Stay after class tomorrow, Princess. Maybe there’s some things I can teach you outside of psychology.”
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Somehow not the first story with this pair I've read:
- MLP: FiM
- Drama
Sometimes life takes you where you least expect--this is just as true for Lemon Hearts as it is for Princess Luna.11849671
Yup, that one was written for the very same contest!