the Logical Solution
Amputees
Hi kids! My name is Goldie Cloverleaf—Cloverleaf as in four-leaf clover, and boy, are you lucky that you’ve tuned in today. Because today, I’m here to teach you kids a very important story about a young earth pony and her two friends.
Once upon a time, there lived a young pony named Bloom. Bloom was the good earth pony kid, just like you fillies and colts. She loves the outdoors, playing ball with her friends, and dreams of taking over her family’s apple orchard one day.
Bloom has two friends: Belle and Scoot. Here they are, standing next to Bloom. Belle is in the theater troupe at Bloom’s school. Scoot is in the same skateboarding club as Bloom. The three have known each other since they were little.
One day, Bloom was sitting under an apple tree, enjoying her favorite Zap Apple Jam on toast.
When all of a sudden, bzzzap! Belle fries Bloom’s brain and she passes out. Then, while she’s knocked out, swoop, and like a greedy seagull, Scoot steals Bloom’s prized family apple jam recipe and flies away.
Bloom wakes up an hour later, luckily unhurt, but her apple jam—and her “friends” Scoot and Belle—are gone! Nowhere to be seen!
You might be shocked to hear this, fillies and colts. How could this have happened? Belle doesn’t have a horn. Scoot doesn’t have wings. They’re earth ponies too, right? How could they have betrayed Bloom like that?
Well, it turns out Belle and Scoot were never Bloom’s friends to begin with.
You see, Bloom was smart enough to already suspect something strange about Belle and Scoot. She was clever enough to save the saliva from one of Belle’s old napkins and Scoot’s straw, and sent them to me and my good friends working at Canterlogic. See, here at Canterlogic, we have come up with a very special device that can tell what species of pony you are, based on your DNA. Do you know what DNA is? It’s like a blueprint inside of our bodies that tell us how tall we are, what color we are, what pony species we are, and so much more! DNA is in all parts of our body—our eyes, our mane, our skin, our organs. No matter how many body parts you change, your DNA tells the truth.
And the truth is?
Belle and Scoot aren’t even earth ponies. They are both what we call an Amputee.
Amputees look like earth ponies, but they aren’t even earth pony at all! That’s right, in fact, we found out Belle’s DNA is 100 percent purebred unicorn! And Scoot’s DNA is 100 percent purebred pegasus! How could this be? Well, Belle and Scoot wanted to trick Bloom to being her friend. So they stole a saw from Bloom’s family barn, hid behind the waterhouse—sorry, I meant wellhouse—and cut off each other’s horn and wings! Just like that! Can you imagine how painful it must have been?
Has somepony told you that they’re secretly an Amputee? Maybe you’re keeping it a secret from your mommy and daddy. But no unicorn or pegasus can be trusted. Nopony who trusts a unicorn or pegasus can be trusted either. Do you trust somepony who will fry your brains? Why do you need to be kind to somepony who could fry your brains…or kidnap you at night and drop you from high in the sky?
One day, we at Canterlogic will make sure that no more scary unicorns, pegasi, and Amputees will be in Maretime Bay to hurt earth pony filles and colts like you. You kids might even live to see that day. But until then, always do the following:
- If you suspect your friends to be an amputee, save baggies of their mane, or even used napkins! These contain enough DNA to weed out those who are hiding in our midst.
- Never give a unicorn or pegasus shelter, including known or suspected Amputees.
- If anypony talks about a “waterhouse”, that’s a secret word for an amputation facility! Report it to the Alien Affairs Bureau immediately by dialing 555!
- Are you an Amputee age 11 or younger? Don’t worry! Because thanks to a recently passed law, you won’t get into trouble! Just report yourself to your local Alien Affairs station or Canterlogic office—your parents don’t need to be there—and we’ll perform a simple medical procedure that will allow you to go back to your normal life in Maretime Bay! You’ll even get a whole week off from school afterwards—imagine that!
Take the pledge online! With or without your parents’ permission, log on to canterlogic.com/kids. And tell your mommy and daddy to tune into our grown-up program on MNN, every Thursday night at 8pm!
[Web cache from canterlogic.com/kids, taken July 12, 108 A.T.]
***
I pledge as an honorable young citizen of Maretime Bay to support Canterlogic in our mission to create a harmonious Motherland.
My name is: Cloudette Starscout
I am: 11 years old
I am…a girl.
My dream is: to become a geneticist, possibly going into bioinformatics, studying at the Maretime Institute of Technology
I want Canterlogic to help me by…helping me become an educator that can empower mothers with information about their newborn foals.
***
I pledge as an honorable young citizen of Maretime Bay to support Canterlogic in our mission to create a harmonious Motherland.
My name is: Dusk Moonbow
I am: 12 years old
I am…a boy.
My dream is: to build my own house from scratch with my friends.
I want Canterlogic to help me by…creating a place where I can belong while being my true self.
***
I pledge as an honorable young citizen of Maretime Bay to support Canterlogic in our mission to create a harmonious Motherland.
My name is: Hydrangea Trailblazer
I am: 11 years old
I am…a girl.
My dream is: to marry the pony I secretly like.
I want to Canterlogic to help me by…helping ponies like me have and raise my own children.
Un-Purebreds
Good Thursday evening, earth ponies of Maretime Bay.
Five score and three years ago, the Separation and Exchange Act became law of the land, the last law ever passed in Equestria that codified its dissolution. And at last, the tyranny of Princess Twilight and the forced unification of the three tribes came to an end. In its wake, our forefathers and mothers founded upon this glorious strip of coastline what they envisioned to be the first purebred earth pony society. Free from the past ills of unicorns, pegasi, and forced unification.
They named it Maretime Bay.
I am Goldie Cloverleaf, founder and CEO of Canterlogic, here to ask you ponies a very important question.
Are you secretly a unicorn or a pegasus, without even knowing it?
Yes, really.
You are a proud Maretime Bay earth pony, you may say. How could we possibly accuse you of being a scheming unicorn or a thieving pegasus? You tend to your garden, work an honest job, and love and care for your foals.
You’ve heard of Amputees, the evil, conniving pegasi and unicorns who take advantage of our earth pony anatomy to silently infiltrate our cities.
But guess what? Even with the threat of Amputees removed, we will never become a purebred earth pony nation. We will never fulfill our founding fathers’ and mothers’ mission.
And chances are, it’s accidentally your fault.
Because you are an un-Purebred.
You see, genetics has the peculiar habit of skipping generations.
It doesn’t take a scientist to understand this. A young foal will notice she has a blue highlight in her mane, while her parents do not—but her grandmother does. You could not have a child with a blue mane highlight for five or more generations, only for one to be born. Why does this happen? This is because some our genes, some of our DNA, is recessive—invisible and never expressed, but an immutable part of our bodies.
If we look at your DNA, you might be as little as 50 percent earth pony, and up to 50 percent traitor. Maybe a sprinkling of unicorn, or a quarter pegasus. You may appear like an earth pony. You may feel like an earth pony. But your genes remain hidden inside you, to become the next generation’s burden. The next generation’s sin.
But let us be clear: if you are a hardworking, screwhead-fearing earth pony like the rest of us, you should not feel guilty for being an un-Purebred. It was not your fault. Millenia of interbreeding under forced unification hit the earth pony race hard. Our preliminary studies estimate that over 80 percent of us contain some percentage of unicorn and pegasus DNA. Experts estimate that it may take 20 generations before Maretime Bay is over 90 percent Purebred. But even that is not a guarantee, and sporadic surplus births may continue for many millennia.
As you are all familiar with, our approach thus far has been adoption, per the Separation and Exchange Act. Law-abiding mothers all across Maretime Bay surrender their unicorn or pegasus surplus births to the Maretime Bay Surplus Infant Care Facility. There, the births are cared for by a team of brave earth-pony nurses, putting their lives on the line each day, under constant risk of infection by dangerous pegasus and unicorn pathogens. The births remain in the controlled facility until a family is found for adoption, after which they are sent to the Equestrian Central Adoption agency to meet their new parents.
Thanks to the courageous actions of our earth pony mothers for the good of the Motherland, and Maretime Bay government’s commitment to family-friendly policies, we have become the fastest growing of the three pony nations, and births from Maretime Bay now make up over 80% of surplus births in total.
But we are starting to suffer from our success! Funding for the Surplus Infant Care Facility has collapsed, as pegasi and unicorns refuse to pay an equal share of expenses, as was stipulated in the century-old agreement. Surplus births are met with overcrowded squalor, two or three to a bassinet, and sometimes over a year’s waiting time in the Surplus Infant Care Facility before they can be transferred to an available family. Think of our courageous earth pony nurses, at the end of their rope, working longer and longer shifts, for the glory of our Nation.
It is time we share their burden. It is time we tell our valiant nurses that they are not alone in the fight against surplus births.
For how much longer can we sustain this perpetual cycle of adoption and deportation? How can we continue to grow as a nation while still effectively restricting surplus births?
It is EVERY EARTH PONY’S duty to ensure we reach our forefathers’ and mothers’ goal of a 100% Purebred nation within our children’s lifetime. It is EVERY EARTH PONY’S duty to fight against the scourge of surplus births by any means, and ensure that this generation of surplus births shall be the last.
But how, you may ask? How can we citizens help? And to that we say: You should not ask how, but when. We are earth ponies. Without flight magic or levitation magic, we always been innovators in technology. We have electric trams, refrigerators, wireless telephones to communicate hundreds of miles out at sea. Now, as an earth pony nation, it is our duty to fix the problem the way we know best. With technology.
We are Canterlogic. Here to present to you a revolutionary new technology that will transform family planning for the earth pony race.
Introducing the Canterlogic Device. The first device that can detect the subspecies of a pony, before it is even born, with 99% accuracy. Allowing the expectant mother to discreetly make the best decision for their family and for the betterment of earth-pony society.
Choose compassion. Choose dignity. Choose the Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
[Transcript of speech by Maretime Bay High School’s Canterlogic Bravery Award recipient, recorded January 15, 115 A.T.]
My name is Cloudette Starscout. I am 18 years old and a proud citizen of Maretime Bay. And without Canterlogic, I would not be speaking to you today.
Let me explain. My father died when I was a young filly, and my mother never remarried. Even whilst juggling her two minimum-wage jobs, as I matured into a teenager and adult, she always found the time to teach me about Canterlogic, and our duty to ensure that the next generation would be one of Purebreds, and only Purebreds.
She tried her best to protect me as a mother. Until one night she couldn’t.
I want to tell you a story about something that happened just two months ago.
[pause]
I was walking home from school with friends—I mean, a friend—late one night. I was with my classmate and best friend Hydrangea Trailblazer. The three of us—I mean, the two of us—had stayed late at school studying for our test about Canterlogic’s innovative experimental vaccinations against novel unicorn and pegasus pathogens.
All of a sudden, as we reached the intersection with an alleyway, I was suddenly pulled aside by an invisible forcefield. I tumbled to the ground like an assay microtube on the latest Canterlogic Device.
It was my worst nightmare. I was face-to-face with an attacker. I was pinned down by the forcefield and I couldn’t move. He proceeded to beat me. He beat me and raped me. Hydrangea tried to stop him, but then she got beat up too. Dusk—I mean—
[Long pause]
Dusk was upon us. It was late at night. [nervous chuckle] Actually, it was several hours ago. Dusk…was in the past. Dusk…was gone.
[Long pause. She frantically turns her head side to side, then looks back down at her paper.]
By the time I was able to break free, he galloped off into the distance, leaving me and Hydrangea tainted and bloodied on the cold pavement. He had done a horrible deed…inside me…for which I will now bear the scars of for the rest of my life.
I had nopony to turn to. Not at school, not at home. Nopony who would not shun me for the unicorn genes that I had let taint my earth pony body.
Canterlogic listened to me.
[applause]
They were sympathetic and nonjudgmental during their consultation and non-invasive screening. And what the results stated confirmed my suspicions. The baby was a unicorn, with half unicorn genes, and half earth pony genes. And there was only one way that could have happened. My attacker was an Amputee. A full-blooded unicorn who had remained undetected long enough to perform the heinous act he did on an innocent earth pony filly such as myself.
It could have been my best friend Hydrangea. It could have been you. It could have been any one of you.
What happened to me that night was painful. But it did not compare to the pain of dishonor and shame that I knew I and my poor mother would face, for knowingly delivering a surplus birth. Especially when Canterlogic’s pre-natal screening now offers the opportunity for a more dignified solution.
For the first time, Canterlogic makes it possible for magicless ponies like me to take control of our bodies. It gave me the knowledge that I was a victim of a unicorn incursion. That this was not my fault. Without Canterlogic, I would be forced to carry this surplus birth to term. This symbol of impurity. This symbol of our nation’s arduous struggle to achieve purity of the earth pony race.
Thanks to Canterlogic, I am able to graduate high school and complete my education. I am hoping to major in genetics in college. I want to be just like the courageous researchers at Canterlogic working to better our earth pony nation. I am immensely grateful for the full ride scholarship that Canterlogic has offered me to make this dream of mine possible.
[applause]
For the first time, earth ponies like you and I can choose the Logical Solution. We can choose Canterlogic.
[applause]
Canterlogic Device
Dear Valued Customer,
Thank you for your recent purchase of a Canterlogic Device for your ob/gyn office. As a family-owned company based right here in Maretime Bay, we are proud you have chosen our innovative technology to advance the care of your patients.
Please consult the Getting Started regarding installing your Device and setting up a MyCanterlogic account.
The Canterlogic Device is a simple automated assaying machine which, with a blood sample of the expectant mother, can determine if the fetus is a phenotypic earth pony, unicorn, or pegasus.
Inheritance of pony subspecies is poorly understood and believed to involve a complex interaction between multiple genes. For this reason, detection of the precise percentage purebred earth pony (i.e. 50%, 75%, etc. earth pony alleles) is not available at this time, but is currently under development. Please turn to page 17 for operation instructions.
[…]
If your expectant patient has been found to be pregnant with a surplus birth, we understand this is difficult and heartbreaking news for you to have to share. Be sympathetic and listen to your patient’s concerns. Here are some guidelines and important points to note when discussing results of Canterlogic screening with expectant mothers:
- The expectant patient should be reminded of the test’s 99% accuracy, and that the chance of a false reading is extremely low. It is natural for the surplus birth carrier to continue to doubt this; denial is the first stage of grief. Canterlogic uses patented cell-free-DNA technology to automatically detect the species of a pony fetus through a simple blood test of the mother, in as little as 12 weeks after conception. Prior to our Device being approved by the City of Maretime Bay, we have conducted peer-reviewed testing for over ten years proving the Device’s accuracy.
- The surplus birth carrier (“carrier”) may legally choose to carry the pregnancy to term and surrender the surplus infant for adoption within 24 hours of birth. However, be sure to inform her of long waiting times their births will have to face in a Surplus Infant Care Facility. Current waiting times for adoption are twelve months to two years, and rising.
- Emphasize that per the Separation and Exchange Act, nopony except for Care Facility nurses may see or have any contact with the surplus birth while it awaits adoption in the Care Facility.
- When asked, provide resources and referrals to institutions that will allow the surplus birth carrier to comply with all local laws. But most importantly, remain impartial. Canterlogic provides information only; we do not direct surplus birth carriers to terminate.
- Violation of the Separation and Exchange Act is criminal offense punishable with jail time, a fine, and deportation or sterilization of the surplus birth by the State.
- Sternly warn all carriers that illegal amputation of surplus births’ horns or wings in an effort to evade arrest is considered foal abuse, punishable by imprisonment and removal of custodial rights. These illegal amputation shops (sometimes referred to euphemistically as “waterhouses”) are often operated without medical oversight and under poor hygienic conditions.
Remember to sign up for our mailing list for notifications of software updates and bug fixes. You’ll be entered in a chance to win a free gift from us, up to a $1000 value!
Choose the Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
Waterhouse
Dear Cloudette,
When you get to the hospital, let me know. I’ll make sure my grandma is working in your ward during your shift. She got the 2000 Bits in cash already. Once the unicorn is born, she’ll take her to the waterhouse. Don’t follow her. She said, the less ponies know where the place is, the better.
I’m sorry if I make you feel bad, but. I still don’t understand why you want to go through with this. Do you know how hard it is to raise a kid when you’re 18? Let alone a…surplus? You know you could go to jail, right? You know my grandma could go to jail for aiding you, right?
I could go to jail too!!
But…if it’s what you want to do, it’s your choice and I’ll support you any way I can. I love you That’s what a friend does, right?
Grandma doesn’t mind, if you’re worried about her. She tells me ‘cause she’s almost going to retire anyway, and she’d rather be jailed living a truth than be free living a lie. I don’t get it. She says I’ll understand when I’m older.
Who wrote that speech for you? I know it’s a lie, and I know you know it’s a lie too. I wish I could tell the world the truth about what happened to us that night. What Canterlogic did to the three of us that night we were walking home from school.
I wish I could expose them. But you didn’t. For the same reason that I didn’t. They’re too strong. The establishment is too strong. And let’s face it, the establishment is stronger than you—and I am not even as strong as you.
I’m going back to school on Monday morning.
Always your friend,
Hydrangea Trailblazer
P.S. Do you still miss Dusk?
[Article taken from Maretime Bay Times, published April 2, 118 A.T.]
Maretime Bay Police raided an illegal infant amputation center, or “waterhouse”, earlier this Monday, according to reports from the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau.
Medical records of surplus births that passed through this illegal facility were on paper and burned before police arrived. What scraps police found were illegible, perhaps in a secret unicorn code language.
Under the watchful eye of Canterlogic CTO Chariot Brighthaven, who could be seen standing just outside the police van, holding a walkie talkie, Maretime Bay Alien Affairs officials uncovered a cold dark warehouse with at least two operating tables, where innocent infants were practically butchered. The floor was cold concrete and the roof leaking with dirty water.
One pony mutilator “surgeon” on site was arrested and expediently convicted of Conspiracy to Promote Impurity of the Earth Pony State, for which he will face a 2-million-bit lawsuit from Canterlogic, coupled with imprisonment and mandatory sterilization to atone for his crimes.
At the press conference scheduled the following afternoon, Canterlogic CEO Goldie Cloverleaf was asked about her thoughts on the raid. She simply said, “We are immensely grateful to the bravery of the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau in stopping these institutions who mutilate surplus infants.”
It was then that to everypony’s shock, an older mare in the audience shouted, “It’s only because of the HATE that YOUR COMPANY spreads against unicorns and pegasi, that parents are forced to hide their perfectly healthy foals in this way! Just so that they can have a right to raise their OWN CHILDREN!”
A few quiet “hear-hears” could be heard in the audience, but they were quickly drowned out by outrage from the majority of the crowd.
To which Goldie Cloverleaf raised her hoof to calm the audience down. She expertly retained her composure amidst the chaos and replied, “Canterlogic is a private cooperation that provides pre-natal genetic screening. We do not force anyone to fear, support, or attack any particular group. We may present our opinions on public television networks as part of freedom of speech…”
The old mare continued to disrespectfully cut the CEO off. “Freedom of SPEECH is not FREEDOM to INCITE HATE! Freedo—mmmph!”
“…ahem…as I was saying, although we may present our opinions to media outlets or to government agencies, and we gladly accept any subsidies that are generously offered to us, we do not claim any affiliation with the Maretime Bay government.”
As Mrs. Cloverleaf continued to speak, the disobedient heckler’s mouth was covered by security and she was escorted out of the building, to applause from the audience. The heckler was identified as Ficus Trailblazer, a obstetric nurse with over 40 years’ experience at Canterlogic-Maretime Hospital (formerly known as Maretime Bay General Hospital). She announced her retirement two months earlier than originally planned, in response to the incident.
In a follow up email to the Times two days later, Canterlogic stated the following:
“Under the delusion that a surplus birth could even possibly be suitable for an upbringing in Maretime Bay, these mares are mutilating surpluses and placing their lives in the line. And the worst part is that, it is all in vain. We all know that genetics cannot be changed. An earth pony will always be an earth pony, a unicorn a unicorn, and a pegasus a pegasus, no matter how many body parts are modified or removed.
“We encourage all surplus birth carriers to avoid the grief by adoption or the cruelty of illegal Amputation by choosing pre-natal screening by Canterlogic. The safer and more ethical solution to stop the spread of impurities in your genome.”
We interrupt this program from an official announcement from the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau.
Good morning, earth pony citizens of Maretime Bay.
As you may have heard, for the first time after years of development, Canterlogic has released an improved pre-natal screening device that can detect the exact percent of earth pony genes in the expectant mother’s foal, as determined by multiple key genetic markers identified by Canterlogic researchers.
We at the Alien Affairs Bureau congratulate Canterlogic on their technological achievement and their commitment to supporting our common goal of a Purebred earth pony nation.
In response, we at the Alien Affairs Bureau have accepted Canterlogic’s proposal to revise the definition of surplus births to include the following:
- All unicorns and pegasi
- AND all un-Purebred earth ponies with less than 75% earth pony alleles. This is higher than the minimum of 50% required for a foal to be born an earth pony.
In addition, we will require genetic screening of all earth pony births to verify the degree of Purebreeding. Un-Purebred earth pony births, i.e. those with between 50 and 74 percent earth pony alleles, will be permitted to remain in Maretime Bay with their parents, but must report to Alien Affairs before their twelfth birthday. Unicorn and pegasi surplus births will continue to be relocated to their respective lands.
This ruling comes into effect immediately for all ponies born from Maretime Bay residents. Ponies born before 12:01am of this date (January 1, 125A.T.) will be grandfathered into the older policy. Surplus earth pony births from Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood are also exempt from the Purebred requirements, however their offspring must comply with the aforementioned policy.
With this new policy, note that surplus births may not be detected until hours after birth, after genetic screening is processed. We encourage all currently expectant mothers to consider pre-natal screening at Canterlogic to avoid the uncertainty of a surplus birth, and to make the most informed decision for the good of the Motherland.
For further inquiries on the technology, please reach out to Canterlogic at questions@canterlogic.com, and your question will be answered within 7-10 business days.
Choose the Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
Unicorn Flu
This is an EMERGENCY notice from the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau, reporting on behalf of the Maretime Bay Sheriff’s office.
At approximately 3:46pm local time today, September 14, 125 A.T., Canterlogic officials received a tip of an Amputee of the Unicorn subspecies attending Maretime Bay Elementary School. At approximately 4:01pm, Alien Affairs officials at the school confirmed the tip with an onsite genetic test. A classmate in close proximity of the Amputee reported feeling ill with flu-like symptoms shortly after the Amputee was located. The classmate has been sent home to his parents for self-quarantine. The Unicorn Amputee exhibited no symptoms, indicating possible immunity.
The Amputee was immediately removed and isolated from potential earth pony targets. She was previously held at Maretime Bay Youth Detention Center for temporary quarantine until she could be confirmed disease-free. Unfortunately, the Amputee escaped today at approximately 4:15pm local time. Her whereabouts are unknown.
The Amputee is described as a 10-year-old female of the unicorn species, with violet mane, white coat, and blue eyes, and responds to the name “Auri” or “Auriela”.
If you see an Amputee matching the above description, DO NOT PANIC. DO NOT HURT OR ATTACK THE FOAL. Maintain distance of two meters from the Amputee. Contact Maretime Bay Alien Affairs (555) and Alien Disease Control (577) immediately. Remember to tell the operator the Amputee ID number 44621.
This is not a drill. I repeat. This is not a drill.
As a reminder to all citizens of Maretime Bay! Choose pre-natal screening, or surrender all surplus births immediately after birth, to help Maretime Bay get closer to the goal of a Purebred nation.
A reminder to citizens: Amputation is foal abuse!
—Goldie Cloverleaf, CEO of Canterlogic and Chair of Maretime Bay Alien Affairs
30000 and 1
Dear Cloudette,
I know why you haven’t answered my messages for the past two weeks. I was expecting this. So it’s okay.
But let me tell you this. If I hadn’t reported Auri, somepony else would have. You know Canterlogic is now doing random spot DNA tests at schools, to track down secret Amputees and to stop the spread of unicorn flu and pegasus pox.
Wouldn’t it have been easier if you had just given her away? Or decided not to keep the pregnancy, like you lied you’d do on stage all those years ago?
I know I said I’d always be your friend. But do you know what’s bigger than our friendship?
Logic. The Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
We’re two ponies. I guess three, if you add Grandma. But there’s 30000 of them. 30000 employees and 1 CEO. And you’re such a hypocrite that you’re now one of those 30000.
I still agree with you. I still hate Canterlogic for what they did to Dusk that night when we were in high school. He was my good friend too, you know. He was the pony who made me realize that not all Amputees are evil ponies hell-bent on tainting the earth pony population.
So fuck Canterlogic. Fuck them.
There was no hate in my decision to report Auri, so you know. This isn’t about discrimination. This is about my survival. My personal safety.
I can say that all I want, but it won’t change anything. I’m sick of fighting this uphill battle. This whole ten plus years of trying to live out a lie for your sake. While you were out studying on your cushy full-ride Canterlogic scholarship, Grandma and I were there, caring for Auri. Half of Auri’s bottles would never have been filled if it weren’t for me and Grandma. Half of Auri diapers would never have been changed. You might say this is your decision, your life, but what about the sacrifices I’ve had to make for the sake of your decision? The laws I’ve had to break?
Cloudette dear, I’m not your wife. I’m not Dusk. I’m just your old high school friend who had a secret crush on you.
You already hate me now probably so I’ll say this. I actually felt a bit happy when Alien Affairs killed Dusk that night. Because…I was jealous of him. Jealous he could love you while I could not. Helping you take Auri to the waterhouse, helping you raise Auri, seeing you come you come to pick up Auri after your work-study job ended at 7. I could almost, just almost, convince myself that we were starting our future together. As a couple. As a family.
I still love you, Cloudette. You were the most beautiful mare when you were in high school, and you still are. You’re the one I truly love…I’m sucky and miserable with the husband I married just to shut my parents up. But I know no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I sacrificed to help you, I know you’ll never fall in love with mares.
I’m 28 years old now. It’s time to face reality.
I didn’t want to go to jail then. I still don’t want to go to jail.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry it had to end this way.
Love,
Hydrangea Trailblazer
P.S. And so you know, the result came back yesterday. It was a surplus pegasus. I didn’t keep it.
We interrupt this program from an official announcement from the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau.
Good afternoon, earth pony citizens of Maretime Bay.
In response to more widespread implementation of the Canterlogic Device, and strong support from the community, we at the Alien Affairs Bureau have accepted Canterlogic’s proposal to revise the definition of surplus births to include the following:
- All unicorns and pegasi
- All un-Purebred earth ponies with less than 90% earth pony alleles.
This ruling comes into effect immediately for all ponies born from Maretime Bay residents. Ponies born before 12:01am of this date (September 15, 125A.T.) will be grandfathered into the older policy. Surplus earth pony births from Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood are also exempt.
For further inquiries on the technology, please reach out to Canterlogic at questions@canterlogic.com, and your question will be answered within 7-10 business days.
Choose the Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
From: Cloudette Starscout <cstarscout@canterlogic.com>
Sent: September 15, 125A.T. 2:37 AM
To: Goldie Cloverleaf <CEO@canterlogic.com>
Subject: Arrest me if you dare!
I guess you know now. That I kept the baby in secret.
So now listen to me, you piece of shit.
Do you think I’m happy? You think I’m actually happy?
I just watched the recording of that speech you wrote and made me read out all those years ago. And it makes me throw up, not because of the things you told me to say, but because I think as I was standing up on that stage I actually believed some of those lies I was saying.
You’re very careless you know, for a CEO of a multibillion-Bit corporation. You let me become a geneticist. You thought that by giving me some arbitrary “Bravery Award,” paying for my education, and giving me a cushy job at your company with double the salary of my colleagues, that I would keep silent.
I’m sure it’ll be only a matter of time before your Alien Affairs ponies come to arrest me for “Conspiracy to Promote Impurity of the Earth Pony State” or some bullshit crime like that…And I say arrest me if you dare.
Because YOU know I know the truth about what happened that night.
I never got raped. There was no invisible forcefield. I would have gotten home perfectly safe that night, if it weren’t for you and Alien Affairs. You had to go and murder him.
That night eleven years ago…your Alien Affairs ponies saw me and Hydrangea walking out the school…with him. You call him a unicorn Amputee. I called him Dusk Moonbow. My lover. My soulmate. And without any warning, Alien Affairs pulled my lips away from his, and your ponies beat him. They beat him so hard until he passed out and you threw him over the boardwalk into the ocean.
You didn’t beat him to death. He drowned. I could swim, and so I tried to jump in to fetch him, but then they beat me, and beat Hydrangea too, until we both couldn’t stand. They held us back with rope and chains, like beasts. And all we could do is peer over the railing for a solid minute.
Until the bubbles disappeared.
Were you watching the whole time? I bet you were, on one of the many Canterlogic cameras you have set up in the town. And I bet you were laughing your plot off, you psychopathic bitch.
Dusk was 19 years old when you killed him. He’d be 30 now. And because of you, he never got to see his daughter.
I don’t know why, in that moment, I decided I was going to raise Auri in secret. Maybe I selfishly wanted to have a piece of Dusk for me to remember—she has his eyes. Or I was just 18 and impulsive. We all did stupid things when we were 18.
This isn’t a threat. I’m not asking for money or even an apology. You can delete this message if you want. I’m just alone in the lab and I’m on my sixth bottle of cider and I need to vent on somepony because Hydrangea turned out to be a two-faced bitch.
All I ask I you don’t hurt Auri. She’s ten years old. It’s not her fault. Blame me. Shackle me, sterilize me, kill me even. Just don’t hurt her.
I want to you to think for a moment.
You go on TV, telling Maretime Bay how evil pegasi and unicorns and so-called Amputees are. Now look at my daughter Auri’s innocent 10-year-old eyes as you register her as Amputee 44621. And now look at what you, the earth pony, does to kill innocent ponies, and force parents to abandon countless healthy foals for the sake of eliminating “surplus births”.
Or maybe you’ve already thought about it. And you’ve done nothing to change. That’s what scares me the most.
Cloudette Starscout, Ph.D.
Chief of Research and Development
From: Goldie Cloverleaf <CEO@canterlogic.com>
Sent: October 1, 125A.T. 1:33 PM
To: Cloudette Starscout <cstarscout@canterlogic.com>
Subject: Checkmate
Dear Miss Starscout,
I appreciate you bringing this mishap to my attention.
In response to your inquiry, I have personally reviewed the camera footage from the night in question. The actions of the Alien Affairs personnel who handled Dusk Moonbow’s arrest was not in strict compliance with our best practices. I apologize they were not able to provide the level of service expected of all Alien Affairs officials. The two officers have been identified and will be placed on desk duty for 72 hours. I appreciate you having the courage to come forward with your story.
I am somewhat taken aback by your harsh words directed personally at me, for I can assure you that I had no prior knowledge of the unfortunate mistake until your last email. While we are the proud exclusive supplier to surveillance cameras to the Alien Affairs Bureau, we are unable to sift through thousands of hours of footage from every street corner of the Bay. Nor do I have time to relish in any particular footage I find amusing. I am a very busy mare.
You claim this is sufficient blackmail for me to justify not arresting you. And I must concede, you are a very intelligent young lady. As our Chief of Research and Development, you helped us figure out the complex inheritance pattern of invisible un-Purebred alleles. We could not have released the updated Device to the public sooner, were it not for your contribution. I wish my son were as smart as you.
But poor you. Poor, poor, pitiful you. You’re so caught up in your research, literally drinking yourself to death in your own lab. You’ve failed to grasp the reality.
As I write this, Alien Affairs officials have been sent to arrest you, Hydrangea Trailblazer, and Ficus Trailblazer, for illegal raising of an Amputee. I would advise you not to resist arrest. If you’re smart, you will have learned from Dusk Moonbow what happens when you resist arrest.
You might just also become a four-legged piece of fish food at the bottom of Maretime Bay.
Just like how your email isn’t a threat, my email is not a threat. A...courtesy warning if you will. Delete it if you want. It won’t make a difference.
You talked about how we broke the law during our little mishap some eleven years ago. And perhaps those two errant officers deserve some blame. But don’t forget how you broke the law. Had Dusk done the honorable thing and turned himself in, or not resisted arrest, it would have been a painless separation where he would be removed to his homeland of Bridlewood for the safety of earth ponykind. But his insistence on tainting you with his unicorn genes necessitated the strong physical response that our personnel performed that night. That the wounds were fatal was only a consequence of Dusk’s strong resistance to detention. See, unicorn’s magic-given strength is difficult for us earth ponies to fight back against, and we must show them no mercy.
Be grateful we got him out of your mane before your relationship fell into its inevitable demise.
You lied to the government about illegally consorting with an unsterilized Amputee. You lied in front of half of Maretime Bay that you would terminate the surplus pregnancy. And then once you did give birth to it, you refused to surrender your surplus birth per the Separation and Exchange Act, choosing to mutilate the poor infant’s horn instead.
What’s a little…negligent homicide of an unregistered Amputee…compared to that?
We’re both lawbreakers. We’re equal. You and me.
You can wish all you want for a world free of discrimination, where that unicorn Amputee and the resulting unicorn surplus birth could have lived in harmony with us. But this is my reality you are living in. And thanks to my reality, 87,000 loyal earth ponies of Maretime Bay now understand the virtues of a purebred nation. And soon the unicorns and pegasi will too, once we negotiate a licensing agreement.
You’ve failed to grasp the reality.
Because of you, your precious Auri who you claim to care about so much will lose her friends forever and face constant bullying while you rot in jail. And all because she was forced by your selfish motherly instincts to come into this world. She has to suffer so much more now than if you had simply listened to what I said.
You could have erased your mistake there and then, some 11 years ago. And you wouldn’t have even killed it, because it wasn’t even a pony. It wasn’t Auri. It was a mass of unicorn cells whose only known destiny was to contaminate our earth pony nations, and suffer inevitable discrimination and heartbreak.
You are selfish, Cloudette. Selfish and a hypocrite. And I don’t mind that actually…but do me a favor and be honest with yourself, won’t you, sweetheart?
Goldie Cloverleaf
Chief Executive Officer
From: Cloudette Starscout <cstarscout@canterlogic.com>
Sent: October 1, 125A.T. 1:37 PM
To: Goldie Cloverleaf <CEO@canterlogic.com>
Subject: RE: Checkmate
I’m not against your technology.
I still think prenatal screening can be an empowering informational tool for mothers. That’s why I poured my heart and soul into helping you improve your devices. That’s why I agreed to lie for you when I was 18. I thought, if I just lied that one time so I could take the scholarship and join Canterlogic. Then maybe, maybe, as I climbed up in the company, I could convince you to turn a new leaf. To use the machine that you invented for good.
But after 5 years working here, I realized…even with my PhD in genetics, as long as ponies like you are in power, spreading words of hate for the sake of profits and selling more Devices…children like my Auri will never live to see a bright future.
I was 18. I thought I could have it all. And I wanted it all, even if they were at odds with each other. I wanted the scholarship. I wanted the dream career. I wanted the baby that Dusk had left me as his parting gift.
I tried my best to have it all, and I guess it failed.
But it was my choice. My stupid, impulsive choice. And I guess that freedom to fuck up felt intoxicating to me.
The only evil that you did was when you robbed ponies of their choice.
Dusk was 19, and he couldn’t try to have it all. You took away his choice. And when he resisted, you took away his life. And then you forced me to erase your crime. Who mopped the blood off the boardwalk railing that night!? It wasn’t you or Alien Affairs. It was ME! ME and HYDRANGEA!
Let me tell you a secret though. I didn’t clean it all. You’ll probably see micro-droplets on the railing from your super-high-resolution Canterlogic CCTV cameras.
They’re knocking
Get PMail for CanterOS
[Excerpt from Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau files]
Plaintiff: Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau
Defendants and charges:
- Cloudette Starscout, 28 (Fraudulent termination of a surplus pregnancy, birthing and raising a Surplus, amputation of a Surplus)
- Hydrangea Trailblazer, 28 (Aiding/abetting the birthing and raising of a Surplus)
- Ficus Trailblazer, 81 (Aiding/abetting the birthing and raising of a Surplus)
- Auriela Moonbow, 10 (Undocumented Amputee)
Date of arrest: October 1, 125A.T. 1:38 PM, 2:44 PM
Date of conviction: October 1, 125A.T. 2:51 PM
Order to Convict signed by: Goldie Cloverleaf, CEO of Canterlogic and Chair of Alien Affairs Bureau
Sentences:
- Cloudette Starscout – Pursuant the Separation and Exchange Act, 25 years imprisonment, indefinite suspension of custodial rights, mandatory sterilization.
- Hydrangea Trailblazer – As an informant to the existence of Amputee Auriela Moonbow, the Bureau has allowed Mrs. Trailblazer a reduced sentence of 2 years probation.
- Ficus Trailblazer – Pursuant the Separation and Exchange Act, 5 years imprisonment.
- Auriela Moonbow – Under Maretime Bay Ordinance 77.86 (Minor Amputee Exemption Act), Amputee Auriela Moonbow is under the age of 12, and therefore exempt from the detention and deportation requirements of the Separation and Exchange Act. Surrendered to the custody of her grandmother, Sunstrike Starscout, until her 18th birthday.
We interrupt this program from an official announcement from the Maretime Bay Alien Affairs Bureau.
Good evening, earth pony citizens of Maretime Bay.
In response to near universal adoption of the Canterlogic Device in Maretime Bay, we at the Alien Affairs Bureau have accepted Canterlogic’s proposal to revise the definition of surplus births to include the following:
- All unicorns and pegasi
- AND all un-Purebred earth ponies with less than 99% earth pony alleles.
This ruling comes into effect immediately for all ponies born from Maretime Bay residents. Ponies born before 12:01am of this date (January 1, 126A.T.) will be grandfathered into the older policy. Surplus earth pony births from Zephyr Heights and Bridlewood are also exempt.
Choose the Logical Solution. Canterlogic.
[Web cache from canterlogic.com/kids, taken July 12, 126A.T.]
I pledge as an honorable young citizen of Maretime Bay to support Canterlogic in our mission to create a harmonious Motherland.
My name is: Auriela Moonbow
I am: 10 years old
I am…a girl.
My dream is: for Maretime Bay to become the greatest earth pony nation there ever was, after my natural death.
I want to Canterlogic to help me by…making sure my generation of Amputees are the last to ever set hoof on Maretime Bay soil.
I Belong
[Op-ed article taken from The Maretime Bay Times, published February 28, 130A.T.]
“I belong…in Maretime Bay”—four years after the arrest of disgraced Canterlogic Geneticist Cloudette Starscout, her surplus, Auri Moonbow, speaks out the first time
My name is Auri Moonbow. I am 14 years old. I grew up with just my mom, because my dad died before I was born.
I was born in Maretime Bay Hospital. Female, healthy, 10 pounds 15 ounces.
Unicorn.
A surplus birth like me would have gone to the Maretime Bay Surplus Infant Care Facility like all the others. One of mom’s friends had a grandma who worked in the hospital though. Right after I was born, she took me away to a metal building on the edge of town—so I was told. I don’t remember. They put me on an operating table, with lights, and…
…slash…
Auri the earth pony was born in a waterhouse.
Yes, I am one of the Amputees Canterlogic have been telling you to fear. But let me ask you…who are you fearing? I’m quite short for a 14-year-old, shorter than some of the fifth-grade fillies at school. I can’t float things. I can barely carry my saddlebag with my own back. I tried out for track and field but I was so slow I tripped on my own hooves during the 50 meter dash.
Yes. I know. Fear me. Raah.
I don’t have magic. I don’t know about non-amputated unicorns and pegasi, but guess what.
Amputees. Don’t. Have. Magic.
We’re just like any other earth pony.
You know, if you cut the bone deep enough, the skin and fur grows over where the horn used to be. And the stitches dissolve. My mom never told me that I was born a unicorn, and I believed her. Perhaps she thought the less I knew, I less likely I would be found out. But a funny thing happens when you unknowingly grow up as an Amputee in Maretime Bay.
You’ll grow to hate yourself.
See, before I found out, I watched the same Canterlogic TV specials. The ones with Goldie Cloverleaf. Even if I didn’t hear about the tale of Bloom, Scoot, and Belle, I would have heard about it from my friends.
Mom was busy at school, studying to become a geneticist, so many of the early childhood years were spent with Auntie Hydrangea and her grandma. I remember one time in first grade, I showed Mom my coloring pages of the evil unicorn Rari zapping the brains of Ponka, the innocent cake-baking earth pony. And Mom would cry a little and hug me and say, “I’m glad you’re here, sweetie. I’m just glad you’re here with me.”
And then about four years ago, when I was ten years old, I became an Amputee.
Before then, I was not an Amputee. Sure, I was always a unicorn with her horn cut off. But after you do the genetic screening at school, Canterlogic puts your name on the bulletin board at school with the word “AMPUTEE” next to it. And that’s what makes you an Amputee.
I remember the first time I saw the DNA test result flash on the little screen of the Canterlogic machine that was set up in the school nurse’s office. I remember screaming in shock, shouting liar! Liar! to that purple box with the blue LCD screen and that annoying chime sound warning of over 50 percent unicorn DNA detected. That was the sound of ten years of hiding. Ten years of lies. Ten years of crime. That little sound. “You never knew?” The nurse asked me. I was good friends with her, after I tripped and chipped my hoof during that 50 meter dash.
“I swear, I swear I swear no!” I screamed, and the nurse whispered to me quieter than any hidden microphone could detect,
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault, Auri. It’s not your fault.” She didn’t hug me because earth ponies aren’t not supposed to touch unicorns.
I had a good friend named Velvet Brighthaven. We used to sit together at lunch all the time but after I became an Amputee, she started sitting away from me, with the roller derby fillies—and we hated the roller derby fillies. She says it’s so she doesn’t catch unicorn flu from me. “If I catch it as a Purebred earth pony…I might die without your special unicorn immunity. It’s nothing personal.” I mean, she sits away from Crissie Cumulus too. And she carries the pegasus pox. I sit away from Crissie too.
I also still remember the last thing Mom told me, just before Alien Affairs took her out of the courtroom and we were separated.
“It’s not your fault, Auri,” she said to me.
Then whose fault was it?
It was the pony who broke the Separation and Exchange Act. It was the pony who refused to admit the crime she selfishly created.
It was Mom’s—no, my Carrier’s—fault.
That’s what I was thinking when the door closed and my Carrier was gone. Gone to me.
Since I was only ten when I was discovered as an Amputee, the government gave me options. I could continue my normal life, living with my grandma, and report to Alien Affairs before my twelfth birthday. Or, I could move to Bridlewood to be adopted by a unicorn family. Of course, I chose the first option; who wouldn’t? I’ve heard Bridlewood is like an awful, dark place with no sun and full of poisonous magic plants. Yuuuuucccckkkk.
So when I turned twelve, I went to Alien Affairs to register myself. To take the first step to repair the mistake my Carrier made by birthing me.
They took me to an operating room. I was there myself, but it was warm and cozy, unlike the cold waterhouse where my horn was removed (I know because I saw the waterhouses that got raided in the news). There was a plush baby crocodile in the corner, the doctor smiled and was very nice to me as she asked me to breathe normally during the anesthesia.
I woke up and it was like nothing happened. They gave me a cream to rub over the scar in between my hind legs, so it didn’t really hurt that bad. I went back to school that Monday. I honestly wish I could’ve gotten a week off like they promised me, but that’s the curse for having an “unusually speedy recovery” I guess.
It’s not bad at all, really. I can still walk. I can still talk. So what if I won’t get to have a family the normal way…at least I didn’t go to jail like Mom. When I grow up, I can always adopt a Purebred earth pony, maybe a surplus from Bridlewood. Or maybe I just won’t have any. That’s fine too.
(I later learned that if I had already conceived a child with an earth pony—like my unicorn Conciever did—they would detain you and deport you to Bridlewood or Zephyr Heights right away.)
I’m not here to fight for Amputee rights or un-Purebred rights. I just want to tell my friends in Maretime Bay that you don’t have to fear us. We Amputee children are born and raised in Maretime Bay just like you are. We’re a crime, but not of our own fault. Blame the Carriers who birthed us. But don’t blame us.
You don’t have to sit next to me, or touch me. Just say hi. Just smile. Understand our struggles. That’s all we ask.
Canterlogic wants us to be eradicated. With each year, the definition of a surplus birth becomes more and more stringent until only Purebreds can be born.
But guess what? I want to be eradicated too. Many Amputees and un-Purebreds do too. I don’t want anypony to go through the pain and constant self-hatred I live with.
I don’t want to be me. It sucks to be me. And I don’t want to create anymore ponies that will also hate their very being.
I hate my Carrier for choosing to give birth to me. Sometimes on a bad day at school, I wish she had been punished for giving birth to me the same way that my Conceiver was.
I may be a unicorn by blood, but I’ve done my duty to prevent my genes from tainting Maretime Bay. I will fight to my last breath for a Purebred earth pony nation, just as loud as any earth pony. Even louder if I have to, if it will prove to you that I belong here, in Maretime Bay.
Last Communication
Document henceforth shall outline conditions of licensing agreement between
EARTH PONY dominion (represented by CANTERLOGIC, INC.) and
PEGASUS dominion (represented by His Majesty, King Storm) and
UNICORN dominion (represented by Elder, Betta Silkshine).
In the interest of the shared goal for undoing the millennia of forced integration by Princess Twilight. Agreement shall be signed by designated CANTERLOGIC representative, PEGASUS representative, and UNICORN representative, on the single lower line at the bottom of this sheet.
For the one-time fee of seven-hundred-sixty-three (763) million Bits per requesting dominion, CANTERLOGIC shall bequeath the undersigned rights to their technology within the boundaries of their foreign realms. This licensing agreement permits in perpetuity for the undersigned:
- To use the intellectual property of CANTERLOGIC for pre-natal screening purposes of their populace, or any other uses as required to achieve the intent of realizing the virtue of purebred dominions.
- For any private company within the undersigned’s foreign realm to enhance, patent, sell, or otherwise commercialize the intellectual property of CANTERLOGIC within their foreign dominion outside of Maretime Bay jurisdiction.
This shall be the last official communication between pony dominions per the Separation and Exchange Act.
Adoptions and deportation of surplus births may continue in perpetuity as required in accordance with the Separation and Exchange Act. Effective immediately upon signature, this sales agreement by CANTERLOGIC and the language herein, henceforth known as the Canterlogic Separation Agreement, shall supersede all other conditions of the aforementioned Equestrian law.
Signed together at Harmony Valley, on this day, the Fourth of March, on the One-Hundred Thirtieth year After Twilight.
Just hatred
Auri. It’s Mom. I know I haven’t been with you for a while. And I hope you are doing ok with Grandma.
I saw the op-ed you wrote in the news. They have Maretime Bay Times on the newspaper rack in prison.
I can’t believe that you would write something like that. Did Grandma help you? Or did the ponies at school bully you unless you started saying things like that?
Whether you meant what you wrote or not, let me just say this.
I know that maybe I haven’t been the best mother to you. Maybe when you were little, I could have taken more time to be with you instead of drowning myself in my studies. Maybe I could have done a better job teaching you to be proud of your heritage, even though the world around you may hate you for it.
It may be too late now, and you may think you’re too old for this, but Auri, I want to teach you some very important lessons.
There is no unicorn flu. There is just flu.
Unicorns and pegasi are ponies. Just like all of us.
There is no pegasus hatred. There is no unicorn hatred.
Just hatred.
This is not about earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. This is about hate, and love.
And if you try to hate like everypony else, thinking it will help you fit in…you still won’t belong. I can promise you that.
As much as I love you, and wish I could see you the day I am released…if you really meant the things you wrote, I do not want to see you after I get out. You’ll be an adult by then anyway. I will always love you, but I would feel unsafe around a daughter who thinks of me as a Carrier and wishes I were dead like your Dad.
I hope you will learn a lesson that this is what can happen if you keep hating others. Your actions have consequences.
If you want to give love another chance…I’m always ready to hear from you. You know how to send letters to me; you haven’t sent anything in years though. Do you not miss me anymore?
Until then…goodbye.
Love,
Mom
[Article taken from Maretime Bay Times, March 5, 174 A.T.]
This past Sunday, the Maretime Bay Surplus Infant Care Facility, once a bleak reminder of a bygone era of genetic intermingling, officially closed its doors.
Once filled with as many as two thousand surplus infants after its peak half a century ago, the facility dwindled down to just ten bassinets and five nurses prior to its closure.
Thanks to rapid technological advances by Canterlogic, Inc., and the adoption of the Canterlogic Device in earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus lands, virtually all future surplus births, including non-Purebred earth ponies, are now detected early and terminated. Last year marked a milestone of zero surplus births within all three pony dominions. Maretime Bay received its last foreign-born citizen two years ago—an infant colt born in Bridlewood named Argyle Starshine, named by and under the care of his adoptive parents.
After the official closure at noon Sunday, a luncheon was held at the mayor’s office in honor of the frontline nurses still alive who worked (or had once worked) courageously as temporary caretakers for sometimes thousands of infant foals. Many were retired, but a few of the younger nurses had stayed till the end.
Nurse Velvet Brighthaven, daughter of Canterlogic CTO Chariot Brighthaven, had worked at the facility for over thirty years. “Of course it’s sad to see such a big part of your life go away after over three decades. But time must march on. In less than a lifetime, we’ve now become three completely purebred pony nations. I was just part of a stepping stone to reach that goal.”
Of the five nurses still working, three are under retirement age, but none will stay unemployed for long. Nurse Velvet Brighthaven, for example, will start as a position as a senior neonatal R&D consultant at Canterlogic in July.
Not all the nurses were present; notably 76-year-old retired nurse Hydrangea Trailblazer, who left the luncheon after taking a plate of plain multicolor rice, eschewing the photo ops with the mayor and his wife, the CEO of Canterlogic. She was a close friend of Cloudette Starscout, the disgraced former Canterlogic Chief of R&D who, as we reported many years ago, was discovered to have illegally raised a unicorn Amputee for ten years. Hydrangea Trailblazer and her grandmother Ficus Trailblazer were also charged for their role in the operation. Ficus Trailblazer passed shortly after being imprisoned, but Hydrangea received only probation in exchange for her turning herself in, and was able to integrate back into law-abiding society through the Canterlogic-Maretime Hospital Continuing Education nursing program.
We tracked down Mrs. Trailblazer at the time of the luncheon and found her at a local pub, halfway through a pint of cider. She herself had three surplus births detected and terminated through Canterlogic over her lifetime.
“This was Cloudette’s favorite brand,” she muttered to us, and continued to drink, her face looking many years beyond her age.
“Mrs. Trailblazer, do you have anything to say regarding the closing of the Surplus Infant Care Facility?”
With a half-interested, perhaps half-senile look, the old mare said, “I’m happy for Canterlogic. They got what they wanted. And I’ll bet their business has never been better.”
With unicorn and pegasi blood eliminated from our lands, the Alien Affairs Bureau is also expected to close at the end of this year. Per a press release released earlier this week, remaining staff will be transferred to the Sheriff’s office. The building has been purchased by Canterlogic to expand their production of pegasi-repellent electric nets.
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It was at that. Which makes your story a success, I suppose.
This level of political commentary is a bit high, but damn if it isn't effective.
The Logical Solution definitely isn't a comfortable read. But it's the fictions which make us squirm, that make us look at the current world around us with transformed perspectives, that are the most irreplicable and necessary. And this certainly fits the bill. You have my utmost applause for releasing this remarkable story.