Fermented Hearths

by Test4Echo

Chapter 2 - Colored Tales

Cursing to herself as a bit of milk spilled off her spoon, Berry let her utensil fall back into her small bowl of cereal, which made the internals splash and sploosh around. Some more droplets of white soon decorated the counter as she winced from whacking an elbow on its surface while she tried to wipe off some of the mess that she caused to herself.

"Hey, it's all right," Rara calmly pointed out as she munched on her own breakfast. Mostly fresh fruits and veggies. The strawberries that she had crunched just right, despite being out of season, which made Berry convinced that either Rara had some strange earth pony magic to keep them fresh, or she got them expediently imported from regions of Equestria that didn't get harsh winter weather.

These last few days have been bucking Tartaraus, Berry griped to herself. She didn't bother answering Rara, as she was focused instead on cleaning herself, and then the table. Both of them sat in Rara's kitchen, which was also part of her tour carriage. Calling it a carriage, Berry had learned on her second day there, was rather inaccurate. A better descriptor would have been moving fortress, since not only was there the bedroom that she was in, which she learned was actually Rara's, but there were also two guest chambers for her backup performers, plus a rehearsal room, all within walking distance of each other. And, of course, the small kitchen. And a bathroom. Everypony needed one of those. According to Rara, it was powered by a matrix-enabled motor engine instead of being pulled by workers. That reduced staff needs to only one driver.

While the kitchen wasn't anything fancy, it was still chock-full of different things that she could eat. At least when she was hungry, anyway. Occasional bouts of ravenous hunger were quickly replaced by feelings of complete nutritional apathy. Although she hadn't, if she had eaten during one of those, she probably would have barely been able to keep it down.

Currently, the table that they occupied was decorated by a couple of winter flowers, in bright purple bloom. She couldn't remember the exact name of them, but she knew that she had seen them around Ponyville before, usually sheltered underneath some house's eavestroughs or in a nook of a rock or something. They never struck her as special, but apparently Rara liked them.

Aside from that, it was a typical kitchen. Pots. Pans. A few cupboards. A lot like her own. At that thought, a twang of guilt and longing struck her. She'd had to give up her house keys, which was one of the first items that Redheart had instructed Rara to enforce. Although Rara didn't say what Redheart wanted with them, or if she even gave them to Redheart, Berry could put two and two together. Redheart wanted to clear out Berry's house of anything alcoholic.

Redheart was right, too.

While most ponies just thought she frequented, and occasionally spent too much time in, The Smiling Mare or a couple of the other pubs around town, she did also have a rather large, and wide, selection of drinks at her house. Even just thinking about it caused another shot of unease to race through her, which sent her already quivering hooves into an even greater jitter.

To at least keep her hindlegs from being nothing but a jiggly mess, she took to tapping impatiently with them instead. From Rara's flattened ears, she could tell that it was annoying her, but she couldn't quite stop. If she didn't have them do something, then she would have had her mind running a mile a minute instead. Granted, it was still sort of doing that, but the worst of her restlessness could be abated in other ways.

As a ray of sunlight broke through the frosty window, which was decorated with a couple of small bands of holly along the top, it carried itself down toward the sheets of music that Rara was currently reading over. Berry had yet to actually ask about them: were they new songs, or was she just reacquainting herself with old ones?

Either way, the ink must have been extremely high quality, because it practically glimmered in the yellow sunbeams.

Picking up her spoon again, she tried to get just one single spoonful of food into her mouth. She drew a sharp breath as both her forehooves wobbled. In vain, she attempted to steady her one forearm that held her spoon as she angled it toward the food. With a violent shudder, her hoof dropped it. "Buck!" she swore as it clattered to the ground.

Rara glanced up, then followed Berry's gaze to the wooden floor, and she simply replied. "It's fine. I can clean it up after you're done." She quickly leaned back and pulled out a fresh spoon from a nearby drawer and passed it to Berry. "See? All good!" She smiled disarmingly, the sunlight glistening off her freshly washed and curled mane. Whenever Berry took more than a second to look at her, she felt completely inferior.

Rara seemed to always clean up wonderfully, and she looked good even when tired or disheveled. Despite actually trying to wash herself today, Berry looked like she had just stepped off an ice rink that had nothing but yak skaters that forgot to put on deodorant. She felt like it, too.

"Can't do anything bucking right," she grumbled to herself as she snatched the spoon that Rara had given her and jabbed it back in the cereal. Morosely, she just stared at the food and started to sniffle a bit. Breathing in deeply, she steadied herself. Mood swings were probably the worst part of everything, but she tried to keep herself under control. Yesterday she hadn't burst out into tears randomly. That was for when she accidentally stubbed her hoof on the way back to her bed.

"Yes, you can," Rara countered from where she sat looking at her sheet music. She plopped another strawberry into her mouth, then passed a few to her. "At least eat these." Peering at her, Rara then looked around the vase of flowers and arched an eyebrow. "Have you taken Redheart's pills yet?" she inquired.

Blushing faintly, Berry shook her head. "Haven't yet."

"Then maybe try those first before you eat anything more?" Rara proposed as she tidied up her sheet music and then placed them in a small binder that was next to her chair. Folding her hooves together, she prodded, "Do you need me to grab you a glass of water?"

"I can get it myself!" Berry snapped back, although she immediately flinched and rubbed a temple with a hoof. Gnashing her teeth together, she whimpered, "Sorry. Um, I can, I can get one myself when I'm ready."

"It's not a bother," Rara declared as she hopped off and swiftly snatched a small glass from a cupboard and then filled it with a bottle from the nearby fridge. When she came over to Berry, she let Berry grab the cup, but she made sure that she kept a steadying hoof on the bottom so that it wouldn't spill. Berry sighed, cracked open a small container filled with some white pills, and popped a couple in her mouth.

After guzzling a bit of water down, she indicated for Rara to stop helping, and she managed to put the glass on the table herself. Already the jitters in her hooves had lessened, although they didn't stop. They never stopped, except for the third night of her "stay". When she started running a fever and getting sweats, Rara had reluctantly gone out to get a small, at least by Berry's standards, drink.

As she said later, it wasn't like Redheart didn't warn that going cold turnip wasn't smart, given how long Berry had been dependent on drinks. However, it didn't stop the overwhelming guilt Berry had felt from giving in to the temptation. So far after that, though, she'd been good, but it didn't stop things from being difficult.

"Hard to believe it's been almost a week," Berry mumbled softly.

"And just see how far you've come already!" exclaimed Rara, pumping a hoof in the air excitedly. "Did you ever think that you'd get through a whole week with only one drink?" She smiled, supportively and invitingly. It only left Berry feeling worse off. Why was Rara constantly so uplifting to her? Couldn't Rara see that she was a lost cause?

"I guess not," Berry finally admitted with a limp shrug. Now that her hoof tremors were little more than very light shivers, she was able to properly feed herself from the cereal bowl. She munched tiredly on the grain, the sugary goodness at least giving her a bit of energy. She popped one of Rara's strawberries into her mouth.

Through chews, she spluttered, "I guess it could be worse."

"Well, a lot of things could be worse," Rara pointed out. "But hey, don't worry about it. Every little step forward is that much closer to success!"

"Right," Berry huffed as she rolled her eyes. At that, they both fell silent for a moment, with Rara's smile faltering only slightly. Seeing that her new friend—she supposed—was obviously a bit hurt, Berry averted her gaze and mumbled, "Sorry."

"It's okay!" Rara beamed a bit brighter again. Blinking a couple of times, she exclaimed, "Oh, right! These were in my mailbox earlier this morning." She giggled. "Ponies have started to notice where I am, and I have to fight off hordes wanting some hoofsies!" Tittering again, she slowly died down when she saw Berry didn't appreciate the joke. She coughed into a hoof. "Anyway, these are for you."

She hoofed over four separate letters, all from ponies she knew at her work. In a bit of a stupor, Berry opened the first and briefly read it. Aloud, she mumbled, "'Hey Ber! Heard that you finally partied a bit too hard earlier and that you're getting some support. Us girls here will be able to handle things while you're recovering, and don't worry about Golden Ball. If she comes around moaning about our bank compared to Canterlot or Appleloosa, we'll tell her where to stuff it! All the best, Amethyst Star.'"

"That was sweet," Rara commented, a warm smile upon her features. "What about the others?"

Tearing each of the others open, Berry quickly read them all aloud. Like the first, they were from her coworkers, all expressing their support and hope for getting better from her... her problem. When she finished the last one, she looked up at Rara and saw that the pop star's eyes were watering with fresh tears, which only encouraged her own well of emotions to burst.

With a soft snort, Berry wiped at her nose and mumbled, "I didn't realize that they cared about me that much." She sniffed hard again and grinned dopily. For once, her body felt light as a feather, not because of how drunk off her flank she was, but just because of some kind words of ponies she knew. It was... different.

It was nice.

"Because you're a likeable pony, Berry," Rara pointed out as she got up and cleared out their dishes. "I mean, even AJ didn't stay mad at you for long because you were 'stealing' my time." She pressed a hoof against her muzzle in a soft giggle. "She always did have a jealous streak in her at points."

"It still doesn't make sense," Berry mumbled as she listened to Rara start cleaning up the dishes in the sink. Although the carriage didn't have running water per se, the water matrix it was equipped with did have enough that it could keep dishes and ponies clean between recharges. All other water had to be bought.

"What doesn't make sense?" Rara inquired.

"Just, why are you doing this?" Berry swallowed hard and stared intently at her hooves. With a bit of effort, she did manage to stop them shaking for a moment, although her restless tapping on the ground had yet to halt. She didn't even realize she was still doing it until just then.

"What do you mean?"

"Rara, I'm a nobody from a nobody town. Supposed friend of Applejack or not, why are you of all ponies helping me?" Berry blew a raspberry, and kept her tongue stuck out derisively. "You're the pop star. I'm dirt compared to you."

"Don't say that," Rara interjected as she sat down. For the first time that Berry had really seen her, she looked... it was hard to exactly nail down, but Berry wanted to say uncomfortable. Uneasy, maybe? However, the look disappeared when Rara glanced at her, eyes now leaking a couple of tears that was smearing her mascara down her cheeks. "You're not a nopony, Berry. Don't ever say that."

"But why not?!" Berry huffed, crossing her hooves and glancing away. Angrily kicking a hindleg against the ground, she gritted her teeth and clenched her eyes shut. "Do you think that I just want to keep waking up without knowing what I did the night before?! Do you?!"

As a surge of anger washed through her, she whipped her head around to scowl at Rara, who had flinched back a bit in concern. Berry slammed a hoof against the table, causing the vase to bounce once or twice and almost fall over. "I don't! But I don't know anything else!" Now tears were streaming down her own face. "But it makes me happy, I guess. I'd be going out to Hearth's Warming parties starting tonight, probably, if it weren't for my. Stupid. Brain!" Bucking a hoof against the table, she finally deflated as some of the snap rage left her.

Barely above a whisper, she exhaled and stared at the ground. "Why does anypony even like me? Is it even me?" She whimpered. "Or is it boozy me?"

"Berry." Rara got up and then motioned to the countertop. It admittedly looked sparkling clean, as it glittered in the sunlight from the window. "You tried cleaning all this yesterday. Remember why?"

It was a bit hazy, but Berry gave a nod.

"You wanted to give a reason for yourself to stay. You wanted to help me help you." Rara smirked as she walked over to Berry and pressed a hoof gently against her chest. "Ponies like you because you're you. You're the bank manager, right? You help ponies with their problems, even if they're... a bit blind to it." She shrugged. "I think you could get more definite answers from your coworkers, though." Dragging over one of the letters from Berry's fellow bank workers, Rara stated, "This all sounded pretty sincere to me, and I'm a much better reader of ponies than I used to be."

Some of the jittering had already come back as Berry's blood pressure felt like it was soaring. While her mind raced, she struggled to find anything to say to counter Rara's point. The longer she pondered it, the more she concluded, deep down, that Rara was right. Still, there was no way that she could be. Not with all Berry's buck-ups.

Finally, in a humiliating whine, Berry mumbled, "You're wrong."

"Am I?" Rara scrutinized Berry, a few more tears trickling down her own muzzle as she did her best to keep her voice steady. "Do you really think that I'm that naïve now?"

"No! Not that, I just—" Berry never finished, as she coughed a couple of times, and she pressed a hoof to her chest. Her heart was thrashing against her chest, and the old cravings came roaring back with a vengeance. Every prod and push from Rara only made the headache that was building in her head to soar even higher and harder.

Before Rara could say anything else, some sobs began to slip out of Berry in awkward, unmarelike hiccups and chokes. Squeezing her eyes tight, she rested her forehead on the table and whimpered, "I'm sorry."

Amazingly, Rara didn't reassure her that things were going to be all right. Instead, she was silent and merely laid one of her forehooves on Berry's. Berry could feel her clammy on her fetlock stick to the frog of Rara's hoof. After a moment, Rara gave a soft press to show that she was still there, and then she sighed, "Berry, I know what you're going through."

"You don't," Berry growled deeply.

At that, Rara let go and grew mildly pensive, which, after Berry had finally managed to get her breathing under control, caused her to look up. Rara's eyes were red with tears, which were now freely pouring like a waterfall around her muzzle. A pained, discomforted smile was on her face. In a choking voice, Rara stated, "I think you're very, very wrong, Ber."

"Only my 'friends' call me that," retorted Berry in a pouty tone.

"And I said you're one of my friends." At that, she straightened herself a bit and then pulled the chair she was using earlier over so she could look at Berry better. Mixed emotions were fighting for control of her expression, ranging from mournfulness to irritation to fear. Finally, it settled on a mild discomfort as she moaned and played absentmindedly with one of her locks of mane.

A couple of times, she started falsely, opening her mouth and maybe even stuttering once or twice, but she'd always cut herself off. Outside, a pair of foals, or some group of friends, ran past her carriage. The two of them heard the sound of laughter as they frolicked in the snow. Snow which had become much deeper.

In the back of her head, Berry wondered if she had gone on her bender a week earlier or later, if she'd even be having the conversation with Rara that she was at that moment. Since Rara was still quiet, she pushed herself back from leaning on the table. Her own eyes smarted as their raw surface met warm air, but she saw that there was only pain in Rara's own.

In a final, saddened sigh, Rara muttered, "What you're feeling right now, it's the withdrawals. They feel like Tartarus, make you question yourself, condemning you for all your 'stupid' choices, promising that if you just take another hit, it'll fix everything. Am I right?" Coldly, she stared directly into Berry's soul, which made Berry shiver.

Propping herself straighter, Rara continued, "And, maybe, when you do, it does feel a bit better." She held her forehooves an inch apart. "But only a tiny bit, right?" At Berry's continued shocked silence, she nodded. "I'm right, aren't I? You're fighting that lie right now, aren't you?"

For a moment, Berry simply stared at her, but as the poignant quiet permeated the kitchen, save for the soft dripping of water from the faucet that Rara didn't quite twist all the way off, Berry whined and shrunk back. That was all the reaction that Rara needed, to smile knowingly. With a feeble stammer, Berry countered, "Y-You talk like what it is, it's like, alive." She tapped her head. "It's just my bucked-up head." Even she didn't really buy her argument, though, which showed in her slouched posture.

"Sure, the drugs aren't alive, but that doesn't make them any less controlling, does it?" Rara arched a brow inquisitively, and Berry nodded. "Now do you see that I speak from experience?"

"Yeah..." Berry murmured before she scratched her chin. What exactly did Rara mean, though? Everything that Berry saw pointed to Rara being entirely functional and without really any problems. Outside of being a bit too famous, if that was even a possibility. Honestly, she would have rather had that problem at the moment than her own.

Momentarily contemplating her still-tapping hindleg, she finally focused on it long enough to get it to stop, although that gave her a stronger urge to start trotting around the room instead. With sheer willpower, she did manage to quiet herself entirely and respectfully looked back at Rara.

Berry tilted her head. "What do you mean by that?"

At the query, Rara flinched and averted her gaze. Suddenly the flowers on the table seemed to be extremely interesting. She rested an elbow on the table, and thusly her chin on its fetlock. She licked her lips a couple of times. What was left of her mascara she wiped off with a hoof, which stained her aquamarine coat an ugly black smear.

"I should have been more prepared to answer that," she admitted as she gave a small laugh and looked back at Berry. "But I guess I wasn't." Berry simply looked at her quizzically.

Sighing and kicking a hoof against her chair, Rara gazed directly at Berry, although, after a second, Berry figured it was more like she was peering through her rather than at her. A slightly whimsical, pained expression formed on Rara's muzzle as she huffed, "Do you remember my agent, Svengallop? He liked to plaster his name on my posters in my earlier tours."

It did seem a bit familiar, but Berry couldn't quite place the history. Rubbing her chin a couple of times, she hummed and gave a defeated shrug. "Can't quite remember."

"I think you showed up for one of my test rehearsals," Rara quipped, a faint smile on her lips. She was still looking off with a thousand-yard stare. At that mention, Berry flushed and scratched the back of her neck. That she did vividly remember. For weeks afterwards, her coworkers were gushing about how she was lucky enough to stumble across the rehearsal while Rara was warming up for that night at the Helping Hooves concert.

Rara's smirk grew wider. "Yep. You were. He was that pasty white stallion with the horrible manestyle." She chuckled softly.

"Oh," Berry drawled, recognition now coming to her. "That dick?"

Rara laughed. It sounded like wind chimes blowing together in a display of beautiful, friendly chords. "Yeah, 'that dick.'" She pawed at her seat. "Well, even AJ doesn't know this, but he didn't just control my stage persona." Fluttering her eyelids a couple of times to hold back some tears, she choked out, "He even controlled me, Rara."

"Aren't they the same thing?" Berry wasn't sure if it was Redheart's drugs or the fact her mind was completely frazzled and wanting to focus on ten things at once, but she wasn't quite following.

Once more, Rara gave a laugh, although it was much more pained this time. "If only." Berry finally followed Rara's gaze to see that her very first tour poster, even before she became a hit with the Countess persona, Colors of Equestria, was on the wall. A somewhat younger Coloratura, probably just out of her late teens, was on it, wearing her mane and outfit much like how Rara did now with her tours: much looser and curled, although she already had some long bangs characteristic of the Countess. In fine print on the bottom, there was a credit to Svengallop, and a promise for a new, exciting future after that tour.

"Oh."

Rara smiled. "That was just after I got to Manehattan. Svengallop decided to give me a small, regional tour to test my chops. It went well. Ponies loved my songs, they loved me, but he thought I was too 'old-fashioned' or too 'home-filly'. I needed to be a star." She waved both her forehooves in front of her face as she finished. "So, he made Countess Coloratura, Lady of Pop. But it wasn't me, it was just a show. When we started Perform this Way, I was so freaked about playing a persona, that I literally fainted just before a show." She giggled. "Hard to believe now, really.

"Well, they woke me in time for me to go onstage, but he offered me something that could 'help' me." She flexed both her forehooves to mimic quotes. In her gut, Berry got a heavy, twisting feeling. The cereal was not sitting well with her at the moment.

"It was just a 'goodwill gesture'. He 'cared' about me, you see." She snorted. "More like cared about his ticket to big paychecks." Grimacing, she stuck out her tongue and nickered. "I didn't take it. That time. I didn't even know what he was offering, but it made me feel dirty. So, I did that show, nearly bombed after I almost threw up from nerves and forgot my lyrics. Broke down later that night." Her scowl deepened. "He offered again to 'help', but I still said I was going to be fine.

"Queue the next show, in Canterlot, and Princess Celestia was attending. Talk about no pressure. And once again, he was right there, suggesting that I try out some 'great, new invention' from some mages in Canterlot." Sighing, she scraped at her seat again. "I didn't want to disappoint the Princess, so... yeah, I accepted it. It couldn't have been that bad, right?"

Berry's gut was effectively doing loops inside her. Although this was far from her own story, it seemed to mimic it in many ways, at least with the initial hesitance to give into whatever was her vice of choice. Had she even really fought against it, though? It embraced her so readily, like a long-lost friend.

Apparently her unease was visible, as Rara just gave a small titter. "It's okay. I need to get this out." She exhaled. "So, yeah, he brought me his 'wonderdrug'." She snorted derisively. "It was powdered matrix crystals. Probably don't hear about it much because it was banned shortly after discovery by Princess Celestia. Take some matrix crystals, grind them up until they're sand, give to your junkie of choice. Even when they're not powered, the crystals have some innate magic, and when ingested..." She sighed again. "It's just one heck of a high. You're on top of the world, your mind is sharp as a tack, you can focus on anything, and you're the talk of the party.

"And that's how my first show in Canterlot went. Strung up on powdered crystals, hitting my first, truly jaw-dropping performance with it. I felt like I was the Lady of Pop. I was the Lady of Pop. At least until I crashed a few days later." Sniffing and wiping at her muzzle, she smeared some of the streaked mascara that was on her hoof back onto her nose. "The first hit always lasts the longest, and then you want that feeling of perfection so much, you need another." She grinned tiredly. "And that's how he kept me in line for so long. Only get some of it when it was close to performance time, otherwise, struggle with being normal."

"Woah." Berry mentally smacked herself for such a stupid statement.

"Yeah, woah. Managed to crank out half of my new album on that first go," chuckled Rara. Brushing aside a bit of her mane, she moaned and hugged her hooves close to herself. If Berry didn't know better, she would have surmised that Rara was second-guessing herself. "The withdrawals are probably some of the worst around. Mood swings, depression, constant migraines, uncontrollable jitters, unsatiable munchies, can even cause hallucinations." She smiled sadly. "Had most of them. Once they started hitting, that was when I couldn't back off, try as I might.

"That was why, if you ever found out, why I was so..." She winced and lightly bobbed back and forth a couple of times. With a grimace, she continued, "Why I was so out of it at first when AJ tried to talk with me. Sure, Svengallop had some control, but AJ first found me when I was just coming off, and then when she accused Svengallop of controlling me, was just in the first bits of withdrawals." With a soft whimper, she tittered morbidly. "If it weren't for him actually giving me a hit during that one rehearsal where I finally dumped him, I might not have ever done that." She stared at Berry. "AJ saved my life, in more ways than one.

"Didn't quite realize what all happened though. It can mess with your memory sometimes. Wasn't until after the show last night that it hit me that Svengallop just left. My only chance of feeling 'normal' was gone." She sniffed. "Had to quickly give AJ an excuse for why I couldn't stay for at least one day. Pretty sure that AJ believed I didn't appreciate reconnecting with her like she thought I did. That little part of Rara that Svengallop couldn't control—the me that wanted to please the foals—shattered that night. I was broken. Massively." Rara paused momentarily, clenching her eyelids shut as Berry assumed a vivid memory of that night reared its head.

After taking a few deep breaths and sniffing back a couple of tears, Rara exhaled deeply. She gazed resolutely at Berry. "All I had left were a couple of tiny packets of the stuff, which he gave me before I kicked him out as a 'just in case' when he was off getting all his five-star treatments from Pinkie Pie." Flaring her nostrils, Rara blew heavily through them and she snarled, "The snake.

"Those barely got me back to Manehattan, and then I was found later in my changing room by one of my roadies after I collapsed. If he didn't think fast and roll me over, I'd not even be here because of that seizure." She clicked her tongue. "Then, off to rehab for me! Two and a half bucking years of my life. But now I'm clean. Svengallop didn't even bother 'exposing me' because, well, I guess he thought I would be washed up without him." She snorted. "Probably helped that most paparazzi didn't know what I looked like under all that makeup, and Sapphire Shores just released a new album after the charity event, anyway."

With a sad smile, she splayed her forearms wide and exclaimed, "But here I am, just a bucked-up Coloratura, thanks to a two-timing, backstabbing, psychopathic agent."

She sighed. "And, well, that's why I want to help you. And others. You heard Nurse Redheart. I'm here for another charity drive. It's for the rehab center that helped me in Manehattan." Smiling softly, tears sparkling in her eyes and trickling down her muzzle, she stated, "Because there's a lot more ponies bucked-up, just like us."

Both of them were quiet for a moment. By now, the leaky faucet was making quite loud dripping noises in the cup of the bowl that it was filling. Rara folded her ears against her head, and neither paid any heed to the snowfall that was coming down outside, which hid the sun and made the entire kitchen appear in a dull shade of grey.

Rara winced. "Uh, don't tell this to AJ. I want to broach the subject myself."

Completely flabbergasted, Berry could only nod stupidly as she tried to process all the information that Rara gave her. Never in a million years would she have considered Countess Coloratura of all ponies to be just as messed up in the brain as her. In one way, it was rather invigorating, but also it was frightening. Whatever problems she, Berry Punch had, were nothing compared to getting hooked on a literally banned stimulant.

As that thought settled itself into her thoughts, she sighed and hung her head defeatedly. Rara let out a small hum of worry, and tilted hers. Both of them at this point were in figurative puddles of their own tears, with Berry's face matted and mussed with hers, and Rara's streaked with mascara instead.

Before she could stop them, more began to flow from Berry's eyes, and she whimpered softly. Her shoulders shook, but before she could break out into proper sobs, Rara darted over and pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong?" Rara inquired, constricting Berry a bit tighter in her grasp.

"J-Just, you know what it's like, b-but, mine, they're... nothing compared to that!"

Shushing her, Rara stroked back some of Berry's messy mane and smiled, making sure that Berry looked back at her. "Not true! Everypony's problems are different, and I'm making bucking sure that I help you start with sorting yours out! They're no less important than mine." She shrugged. "I am just farther along."

Leaning forward, Berry rested her head on Rara's chest, tears of not sadness this time, but joy, running down her muzzle and matting Rara's fur. Between choked sobs, Berry just murmured, "T-Thank you. I-I don't deserve it."

"It's what friends are for," Rara replied, giving a soft stroke of Berry's mane. Deep within her throat, she started to hum some melody that Berry didn't recognize. Whatever the case, it was rather soothing, and soon some of her crying ceased. In the bottom of her chest, she felt the first bit of hope well up inside of her.

After a minute of being serenaded by Rara, she finally returned the hug with a strong squeeze of her forearms. Rara returned it even harder, and the two of them simply stayed together, two friends, broken together.

***

Sticking out her tongue in concentration, Berry scratched out a couple of lines on one of the sheets of paper that she had grabbed from Rara's first guest room, which Rara was currently using as her own chambers. Inside that, there were stacks of sheet music, some different records and recordings, as well as notes and little reminders to Rara from herself to do something. Despite it all, it was actually rather organized.

However, despite being told that she was fine to wander the carriage to stretch her legs, work out any jitters or the like, she still had a lump in her throat from violating her friend's privacy. Still, the itching desire to do something was insatiable. As she pondered her next stroke, her hind hooves were again tapping anxiously on the floor. Although she was doing her best to concentrate and stay calm, her heartbeat thudded loudly in her ears and a bit of sweat trickled down her forehead.

Every little sound that her room made whenever the wintery wind blustered against the carriage caused her to flinch in worry, in case somepony was sneaking up on her. Occasionally the shadows cast by the single light she currently had on seemed to morph into twisted silhouettes of ponies, sometimes assembled around drinks, or maybe offering her one.

Still, she pressed on despite the distractions and worries. Hearth's Warming was only a week or so away, and being effectively trapped under medical watch wasn't conducive to doing anything for the holiday. But that didn't stop her in her mission.

"What're you up to?" she heard Rara inquire from the doorway.

Berry jerked up with a yelp and nearly dropped the pencil that she was holding with a forehoof. Frantically, she whipped a second sheet of paper, which had some half-finished warmup drawings on it, over her current object. "N-Nothing!" she exclaimed, her heart hammering in her chest. She heaved heavily as Rara didn't take the hint and instead waltzed inside.

Checking the window, Rara arched a brow at the snow and then turned back to Berry. "Doesn't seem like nothing," she quipped with a smirk. "Pretty late, too, don't you think?" As if to emphasize, her clothing indicated that she was probably off to bed in a moment or two, since she wore a thin, semi-transparent nightgown decorated with her cutie mark.

"Not tired," Berry mumbled. Partly true. Insomnia was a bit of a pain in the flank. But if she admitted it was more that she had an idea that she couldn't get out of her brain, then Rara would probably only ask her what it was. Shrugging dismissively, she straightened the paper that she was using as cover for the other and avoided Rara's gaze. "Thought I'd occupy my mind."

Hopefully, Rara would leave, and then she could get back to what she wanted to do. Instead, the pop star sat near the end of the table, which Berry had moved, and she inquired in a friendly tone, "You draw?" Berry reluctantly nodded. "Neat!" Her pearly whites reflected starkly in the lamplight. "This might surprise you, but I'm not very good at it." Suppressing a snigger with a hoof but failing as some of it hissed out her nose, she stared brightly at Berry while her eyes twinkled in mirth.

"I might be able to write lyrics and pen a beautiful melody, but I couldn't probably even give you a good stickpony." At that, she burbled a soft chortle and scooched a bit closer to Berry's side. Craning her neck to look at Berry's sheet, she let out a soft whistle. "Those are pretty good. I didn't think you'd be an artist." She finished with a fancy, Prench accent.

"I'm not," murmured Berry as a soft blush formed on her cheeks. "Just have time on my hooves between dealing with obstinate bank customers." Groaning, she hoofed over a different paper, which she had used as her first warmup. Far from her best work, but it was a pretty harmless still life of apples or other fruits, along with a glass of water. A bit out of proportion, but she hadn't drawn for weeks at that point, so it was to be expected. "Here," she grunted.

Rara took a moment to take in the sketches. "You must have had a lot of time on your hooves, then. You sure that isn't your special talent?" She glanced at Berry's partly hidden flank.

Huffing a bemused snort, Berry griped, "Pretty sure it's about getting wasted, and that's about it."

Rara clicked her tongue and went back to inspecting the page that Berry gave her. Flipping it over a couple of times, she checked the reverse side's additional sketches, and then rested it on the table. "What're you drawing now?" she asked, getting up so she could see what Berry was holding down.

Desperately keeping the two sheets together, Berry turned the paper enough so that Rara could see that it was a rough outline of a pony. Berry breathed a silent thanks to Celestia that she had nixed the picture before she got past the posing stage. "Just refreshing my hooves at ponies," she admitted. Her hind hooves started beating against the ground again.

"Can I check it out?" Rara prodded, leaning down to start to snatch the paper.

"I-I'd rather not," Berry stuttered. At Rara's confused look, she coughed. "It's pretty rough. Not worth looking at, honestly."

"You sure? I think it looks—"

"It's just practice." Biting her lip, Berry rested both her now shivering hooves on top of the paper and stared intently at Rara. Both their gazes met for a moment, and then Rara sighed and nodded her head.

"All right. I'd like to see the finished result, though." Berry simply gave a noncommittal grunt. Walking back to the doorway, Rara started to close the door, but before she left, she peered back and declared, "Oh, I made sure that AJ invited you to the Apples' Admittedly Awesome Hearth's Warming Hoedown!" She smiled brightly. "About time you meet some ponies again!"

At that, Berry's stomach sank, and her blood ran cold. Quivering and stuttering a couple of times, her eyes widened in fear, and her ears folded against her head. "Y-You what?!"

"Berry, you have been cooped up for over two weeks. Anypony will go stir-crazy in those conditions." Rara chimed lightly, "It'll be a nice welcome back to having a social life!" Trotting out, she gently clicked the door shut, leaving Berry with a fluttering heart and sweat trickling down the back of her neck.

Letting the sketch page slip from her grip, she stared at the true piece she was doing. Currently about half-finished, an image of Rara dressed in a studded leather jacket leaning down to help somepony, who had been left shadowed against the invisible light source, out of the snow.

Berry furrowed her brow. "Of bucking course."