A Stern Talking To
“Great,” Nan muttered, shifting her shoulders from one side then the other. “I’m stuck.”
Would you look around a bit, maybe I can help. Xathrid emplored.
While whispering curses under her metaphorical breath, Nan looked around to find that they were in a forest. Or at least at the very edge of one, for the pair were nearly neck deep in a road that went straight into the darkened woods. The path only went a few feet behind them before giving way to grass and weeds, marking its end.
Despite the road’s presence, there was no other sign of civilization, nor any indication that intelligent hands had attempted to tame the wild lands. The plains beyond were unmarred by the presence of smoke billowing from an unseen fire, and the skyline bore not the jagged points of a distant structure. Save for the trail there was no sign that intelligent creatures had ever been here, as there were no ruins, no toppled masonry, only nature, untamed and beautiful.
This is kinda nice, despite everything. Xathrid remarked.
“Focus, we are trying to get out of the mud remember?” Nan retorted.
Right, give me one last look around, I got distracted. Xathrid urged.
Nan rolled her nonexistent eyes before looking around them in a slow, deliberate arc. On either side of them was a creek cut through by the path they were currently embedded within. Frogs and other small creatures moved about the water, unbothered by the sudden appearance of an enormous mound of animated rock and the tree it bore upon its shoulder.
Before them was the forest, its vast expanse of dark green seemingly swallowing up the light of the evening sun. The distant fiery orb had fallen behind the branches though it had yet to descend so low that its presence was no longer felt. The last of its rays valiantly attempted to illuminate the darkened wood but succeeded only in lighting up the path and little else.
I should be able to absorb the water and allow you to simply break out of the mud, provided you are strong enough. Xathrid exclaimed.
“I am more than strong enough to manage such a task,” Nan confidently declared.
Then wait a moment and I will assist you. Xathrid added. Now how did I do that again? Oh right.
Focusing on his roots, Xathrid willed the water in the earth around him to be dragged towards his body. The moment the moisture came in contact with his exposed roots it was sucked into the plant’s body, where it was absorbed. The burst of energy was just barely enough to shake off the wilted leaves that adorned Xathrid’s branches and be replaced by green ones.
Nan felt the ground around her form dry out and harden. To some, this may be a death sentence, to the enormous stone creature it was a welcome reprieve from the mud. With a sharp pull, she wrenched her arms free and used her fists to pound the dirt around her legs to dust. Finally able to move freely, she hefted her enormous bulk from the earth and stood for the first time on solid earth.
“I don't know how you do it, having your body buried in the ground,” Nan remarked, shaking off the last bit of crumbling dirt.
You get used to it. Xathrid replied.
Nan strode forward, her heavy footsteps muffled somewhat by the soft earth. Though able to cushion her steps, the road was thankfully not so muddy that it slowed them down. There seemed to be just enough gravel atop the dirt path that the worst of it was not a problem. Why it had been built, or by whom was not readily apparent, but neither cared to dwell on that question for long.
“So, what's your world like?” Nan remarked, only to pause. “Or I suppose time period would be a better way of putting it.”
I’m still not sure he's telling the truth about that. Xathrid added. You’d think I’d have heard of you, or you, me given everything. That is unless you are only a minor figure in history, and our assumptions of our time periods are correct.
“I kind of hope I am. A minor figure that is,” Nan replied. “Though given the way things are going I think my struggle against the crown would be something for the history books.”
I too have struggled against Equestria and Celestia more specifically. Though at this moment it has been mere skirmishes, I believe that will escalate with time. Xathrid stated.
“Just Celestia? Wait, given our shared knowledge of the show that would put you after Luna’s rebellion but before her return and me right after Discord’s defeat,” Nan reasoned aloud.
That makes sense, so it is I who should be hearing of you and your… rebellion? Xathrid half asked half stated.
“I suppose that is one way the historians may phrase it,” Nan answered, her gaze wandering over a pair of deer staring out at them from the edge of the wood. “He was right, there really isn't any intelligent life here.”
Their eyes are so empty, unlike the deer I know from my time. Xathrid added.
“I have not met a deer, though I recall my ponies mentioning they dwelled in the deep woods far, far to the south. Beyond the glacier which blocks travel to the ancient lands from which ponies and if you believe the stories, all species emerged,” Nan remarked.
Makes sense. I have apparently helped to found a small city in truly ancient lands. Xathrid paused. That would also explain the strange underground cities and the statues of the various creatures that should not be found together.
“I feel like we are theory crafting a bit too much,” Nan exclaimed aloud. “Not only could this be a wasted effort based on a lie, but it also doesn't help us here or now.”
True. I can sense that there are some discrepancies between my experiences and yours. Xathrid declared. I can't explain exactly why I think this way, only that it is a feeling.
Nan nodded.
Gazing ahead, she noticed that the road turned to the right, and more importantly, there were prints in the wet earth. Leaning down, she inspected them closely, while Xathrid did so at the same time. Though the stone creature knew little of the marks, Xathrid immediately knew exactly what had made them.
Diamond Dogs. Xathrid declared. Watch out for pit traps and the like.
“So that's what they look like without boots. Probably should have been paying attention to that little detail,” Nan remarked in a half-whisper. “And, noted.”
The motherly golem sent out a pulse through her feet, scanning the area around them for disturbances in the earth. Sure enough, she found several pit traps arrayed before them, hidden so carefully that only one such as her would have found them. She could also detect that several creatures were moving about at the edge of her detection radius though that was all the information she could gleam.
They are close. Xathrid added. A dozen or so life forms are nearby.
“I discovered the same. Likely a trap,” Nan whispered.
A trap for a creature of flesh and blood, of which we have neither. Xathrid pointed out.
“Then let us spring it and deal with our attackers on even footing,” Nan offered.
Agreed. Xathrid remarked.
Walking over to the closest pit trap, Nan extended a foot and tapped it against the top of the pit, triggering it. The perfectly constructed mass of sticks, mud, and gravel fell inward, creating a loud clatter of falling debris. This evidently was the signal that the hidden creatures had been waiting for as they surged out from behind cover.
“Let's get them boys!” called a familiar voice.
“Wait, is that Gilda?” Nan murmured.
Turning her head, the golem found that she was indeed being attacked by a sword-wielding Gilda. That was not all, however, as a couple of diamond dogs with improvised weapons, several ponies led by an earth pony with a golden skull for a cutie mark and Ahuizotl also emerged from the brush. They all had little to no armor and their weapons weren't much better off, with even the best of them appearing to be made from scrap metal.
This is just sad. Xathrid remarked.
“No kidding,” Nan added.
The stone creature and her ally simply stood there as the motley assortment of creatures attacked them. Their makeshift weapons did little against Xathrid, his ironlike bark repelling it all with ease. They did even less to Nan who merely stared down at them with a disapproving look on her stony face. Even Ahuizotl’s more impactful strikes did little to the stony creature, his fists barely leaving a dent.
“Come on guys, really lay it on! If we focus its head I bet we could cut it off!” Gilda proclaimed.
Nan’s frown deepened as her attackers rained down a flurry of blows on her neck and head area. With each impact she could feel another chip be taken from a blade, another dent added to a club. In only a few seconds half of her foes had disarmed themselves through their own attacks, leaving the remaining bunch confused.
“Are you done?” Nan asked.
“Fools, clearly that tree is animating the stone creature. Chop off its limbs and we may yet still win!” Ahuizotl shouted.
Would you mind throttling him for me? Xathrid asked.
“With pleasure,” Nan replied.
“What are you-erk,” Ahuizotl’s statement was cut off when a stony hand gripped his throat and hoisted him into the air.
“Woah there big guy. Don't do anything crazy,” Gilda offered.
“Sit down, and shut up, or I’m going to snap this guy’s spine like a wishbone,” Nan declared.
Though her statement didn't initially garner the reaction she hoped, the added pointed glare helped to drive her point home. One after another the various villains seated themselves upon the earth, shifting uncomfortably after doing so. Gilda was the last to sit down, though she did so after Nan squeezed a little harder, causing Ahuizotl’s already blue face to become even bluer.
“Fine, whatever,” Gilda muttered, tossing aside her club. “Just don't kill the stupid noodle.”
“Good,” Nan began.
Her grip loosened, though she didn't release Ahuizotl completely.
“Stars above you have quite the grip,” Ahuizotl muttered after catching his breath. “I don't suppose you could release me completely.”
“Not after we’ve had a chance to talk to you all,” Nan retorted.
Start with Ahuizotl. He actually had a good reason to become a villain. Xathrid pointed out.
Nan nodded, and did just that, turning to the lanky creature held in her grip. “Why are you helping these villains destroy the cosmic order of things?”
“Because that wretched Daring Do always wins. Soon all the relics will be stolen, and I will be out of a job!” Ahuizotl shouted.
But working with that guy? Xathrid added, mentally pointing to one of the very thieves that tormented the guardian creature.
“Yeah, why are you working with that guy? Didn't he steal a bunch of those very same artifacts?” Nan inquired, gesturing to Caballeron.
The ascot-wearing do-badder shifted uncomfortably between a pair of his generically evil-looking hench ponies.
“We’re on the same side now,” offered the slick, black-maned pony. “Once we win I can go rob other people.”
“As much as I despise this little thief and his pathetic underlings, I need this universal whatever destroyed if I am to keep my job and protect the relics,” Ahuizotl proclaimed.
Hoo boy. He sure got sold some snake oil. Xathrid remarked.
“Look. You’re not a villain,” Nan stated, pointing at Ahuizotl. “You are doing your job and just got a bum wrap because you never explained your reasoning to Daring Do.”
“She would never listen. She just charges in, spouts some asinine one-liner, and charges off with the artifacts under my charge,” Ahuizotl retorted, arms crossed over his chest.
“Uh can we go?” asked the diamond dog leader.
“No, just hang tight and… would you sit up straight, you’re going to hurt your back sitting like that. Good, now we’ll get back to you shortly,” Nan retorted. “Same goes for you, Gilda. I see you trying to sneak off.”
The griffin muttered curses under her breath and sat back down.
Nan turned back to the great beast held aloft in her grip. “Where were we? Oh right, Daring Do will listen if you make her listen and once she does she will fight you no longer, this I promise,” Nan stated.
“How could you know this?” Ahuizotl retorted.
“I just do, trust me. Please,” Nan pleaded.
The Golem and the monster stared at one another for several seconds before the guardian relaxed. “Fine, but could you please release me,” Ahuizotl murmured.
Nan did just that, allowing the other creature to massage his neck.
“If she doesn't listen at first, all you have to do is use a bit of guilt. That always does it,” Nan stated.
Where are you going with this? Xathrid inquired.
“Shh, I’m working on something,” Nan whispered.
“Guilt eh? Like what?” Ahuizotl asked.
“Tell Daring Do about how she's stolen what is rightfully yours, tell her about all the harm she's caused and if it comes down to it don't be afraid to shed a tear or two,” Nan continued. “Ponies are total softies, and will melt like soft serve ice cream if you apply a bit of guilt.”
“Finally, a statement I agree with,” Gilda muttered.
“That sounds like it may work,” murmured Ahuizotl.
“It will work,” Nan stressed.
“Alright, you’ve sold me,” Ahuizotl declared.
“Then say aloud that you are not a villain and you will be sent home,” Nan pressed.
Ahuizotl nodded. “I am not a villain.”
The guardian beast vanished in an instant.
“So, now you’re going to threaten the rest of us, yes?” Caballeron inquired. “Because if that's all I need to say, then I am not a villain.”
His minions all yelled the same thing, sometimes multiple times though it didn't change anything.
“Why isn't it working?” Caballeron muttered.
They gotta believe it. Xathrid remarked.
“Yes, but how will we get him to go along with it?” Nan whispered.
I got this. Repeat after me. Xathrid proclaimed.
“You guys wanna get rich, I get it. But you're going about it all wrong,” Xathrid stated through Nan’s mouth.
“What do you mean?” Caballeron retorted quizzically.
“Think about it. You could build a hotel and offer guided tours of exotic locations and ancient lost cities. Ponies would eat that shit up!” Xathrid continued.
“I don't know… I wanted to get rich but that just sounds like a lot of hard work,” Caballeron muttered.
“That is where you are wrong, dear Caballeron,” Xathrid pressed. “If you monopolize everything from the train ride from Equestria, to the restaurants, to even the souvenirs you’ll be able to ruthlessly exploit them. Plus you’ll be outside Equestrian control so you’ll be able to cut corners and cheap out on things you wouldn't normally be able to.”
Nan paused. “I’m not sure I’m okay with this line of thinking.”
“Hey, yeah!” Caballeron exclaimed suddenly, standing up. “I’ve got enough capital and personnel to start small, but without having to pay Equestrian taxes, or worry about silly things like food safety we’ll be rich and we’ll barely have to lift a hoof.”
“Good thinking boss!”
“That's why you’re the brains!”
“Oh thank Celestia. I don't know if I could take getting cursed again. Spending a week as a chicken was a nightmare.”
Look just trust me. Celestia won't let them get away with it for long, plus once Daring Do and Ahuizotl are working together he won't be able to steal shit. Xathrid explained. Best case scenario he adapts his business, goes legit, and ends up a decent fellow. Worst case he gets busted immediately and isn't a problem.
Nan grumbled to herself but ultimately said nothing.
“Alright, I’ll do it! I am not a villain!” Caballeron proclaimed.
Instantly the stallion vanished, and he was quickly followed by his hench ponies who all repeated his statement.
“Now onto you,” Nan stated, turning to Gilda.
The griffon wilted under the withering gaze of the disappointed golem.
“What… what are you going to do me?” Gilda muttered.
“Nothing. I’m just… so disappointed in you,” Nan declared.
“What?” Gilda retorted in disbelief.
“Come on, you’re barely even a villain!” Nan stated, throwing her arms up in irritation. “That whole thing was a misunderstanding! All you have to do is explain things to Rainbow Dash in a calm, even manner and you’ll be her friend again in no time!”
“I don't want to be friends with that turncoat!” Gilda hissed. “She tossed me aside like rotten meat at the first sign of trouble.”
“Because she thinks you were bullying her friends and you were being a bit of a jerk,” Nan pointed out.
“But so were they!” Gilda shouted.
“That doesn't excuse your actions. They may have been in the wrong, but if you had maintained a level head they would have looked like fools while you remained in Rainbow Dash’s good graces,” Nan continued.
“I…” Gilda frowned deeply and grumbled angrily.
“Look just tell her how you feel and how things went down from your perspective and I promise you things will go back to the way they were before,” Nan stated calmly.
“I can't just walk up to her and spill my guts, she probably hates me!” Gilda retorted.
“She’s Rainbow Dash. Loyalty is her thing. Look, just pretend I’m her and say how you feel,” Nan offered, sitting down in front of the griffon.
Gilda seemed ready to argue but after one look into Nan’s eyes all fight left the young girl’s body.
“Fine, so… I felt like you were leaving me behind,” Gilda muttered, quietly at first, but gaining volume as she spoke. “You moved away, got new friends and rarely even bothered to send me a letter, not like you were ever much of a writer.”
Nice work so far. Xathrid offered.
“I hoped showing up in Ponyville would rekindle things, make it go back to the way it was before but I can see now that isn't going to happen,” Gilda continued. “It was silly of me to think that, and even sillier of me to act all jealous. If I had just been a friend to you and not been quite as big of a jerk then none of that would have happened. That doesn't excuse what your rude pink friend did though!”
“Agreed,” Nan offered. “And good work.”
Gilda exhaled slowly. “That felt kinda good. I guess I ain't a villain after all.”
The griffon vanished when the final word left her mouth, leaving the dynamic duo alone with a trio of diamond dogs. Who shifted uncomfortably on the ground as their captor stood up and faced them, her hands on her hips and a disappointed look on her face.
“Slavery guys, really?” Nan declared. “I know a ton of diamond dogs who would never dare to resort to such underhanded tactics. Why are you lot so eager to do something so reprehensible?”
Xathrid offered his silent agreement with the statement.
The three diamond dogs looked at one another as if having their own telepathic conversation. It ended quickly, with the largest, centermost dog with the red vest opting to speak for them all.
“We were hungry,” he replied after a long pause.
“That's it?” Nan retorted.
“What do you mean that's it? We needed to eat and so we needed more gems, but all the veins were empty so we needed ponies to find us more!” He all but shouted.
“Yeah ponies sniff out gems good,” offered the smallest of the bunch.
Do they not know that they can just trade gems for food? Xathrid asked quizzically.
“Let's find out,” Nan whispered, before raising her voice. “Why don't you simply trade the ore that you cannot eat for food that you can?”
“What do you mean?” muttered the diamond dog.
“You guys can't eat stuff like gold, and iron, but ponies like this stuff, so you could give it to them, and in turn, they will give you food. Tasty food, better than mushrooms and gems,” Nan exclaimed.
The diamond dogs blinked, a look of confusion passing over their faces.
“You can do that?” the leader whispered in a low tone.
“Yeah, and you guys have enough gems and stuff that you could be rich. You’d eat like kings if you traded with the ponies,” Nan pressed.
“Like kings,” one of the dogs murmured to themself.
“I’m going to eat an entire pig. No wait, cakes, so many cakes,” muttered the smallest of the three.
“Okay, we decided. We will try this trading thing you said,” declared the leader.
“Good, then just say those magic words, and remember to be nice when you’re trading. Do that and the ponies will give you a good deal,” Nan added.
“Whatever you say, strange lady. I am not a villain,” he proclaimed.
His fellows repeated after him, each one vanishing the moment the final word was spoken.
In no time at all, the field was empty, leaving only Xathrid and Nan.
That worked better than anticipated. Not having to kill anyone for once feels nice. Xathrid stated.
“I know, though something tells me that will change pretty soon,” Nan replied.
I mean maybe but most of the villains were either not bad guys at all, or had at least a somewhat justifiable reason for being jerks. Xathrid pointed out.
“That is a fair assessment but that still leaves Discord, and a few others who may be a problem,” Nan exclaimed.
There are a few creatures that may even be able to harm us too. Xathrid commented. Let us hope our attempts at diplomacy continue to bear fruit.
“Let us hope,” Nan repeated.
If you want to read the next updates for my biggest stories at the begining of the month rather at the end, or want to get a commission from me as well as access to patreon exclusive content, and the chance to submit story requests every month, head over to my patreon!
Join me over on patreon and get instant access to exclusive content and early looks at new stories, patreon only stories and other great stuff! Check it out!
Or just join the discord to ensure that you dont miss an update.
This update was made possible by the wonderful support of readers like you: Ech, Tailsic, Chrisb32, Nightwing, Tonoz, CoreyPeters, Thane, Renegade, Sunset Flash, Kyokimute, Monsterkittie, Louts Petals, Tacocat, Tom, MestreJ, Aang Slyver, Canary in the Coal Mine, Ceepert, Starless, Vi Watch, Facinus, M, Nfreak, Venerable Ro, Blade Tech, Cryil Shadeclaw, John Gonzales, Nightwing, Peter Coulthard, Srgtartman, Thane Kull, Victor, Dale, Dragons' Sheppard, Egery007, Gear change the earth pony, Ivar, James, Kali, Lich Lord Krosis, Menthol Qtip, Midnight Serenade, Mop Hop, Nathan Brown, Octavia Lowbar, Pacsik, Soundtea, Hannibal, Fiamgoku, Grub, Matias Duran, and Steven.
Stats
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
1,042 users online
2,143,368 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I usually dont like self insert stories, but you seem to do it well.
11734035
Hey, thanks. I like to think its because Jest is his own character which isn't just a transplanted version of my own personality.
Of all the cross-over fics I've read, this has the best and most novel interaction between main characters of different stories I've seen. It honestly seems like two species that had evolved over time to be this way.
11734322
I did not notice that. I normally don't pay attention to the description after the story is tracking
11734331
A fair assumption to make, this is one of the few times its mattered.
I just realized how is Xathrid supposed to help fight without his army of Undead?
And the argument can be made that all of My Little Pony villains are not evil. Most just have good reasons to do stupid things. Queen Chrysalis needed to feed her changelings (the queen is just too prideful to realize love freely given is stronger). Sombra was being ripped apart by the crystal heart every year (IDW comics).
The only major villains that I can think of that have no reason to be evil are Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Discord (good luck stopping Discord before he met Fluttershy or after Fluttershy dies)
Nice persuasion 100!
That was a good story so far goodluck with the rest of it.
Is this a sequel? Or a spin off?
11762323
Both, but mainly a spin off.
11762344
But isn't the previous story still incomplete?
11762346
I am aware. If you check it out it makes sesne.