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Fight for your Life

Hitch staggered to his feet and lumbered forward. "Nice try, but you'll have to do better than that!"

His assailant swung at him, the fist barely connecting with his own face.

"Huh. Guess you're a little sloppy, huh?" Hitch lunged, but the attacker swung back and knocked him off balance. They then grabbed a hammer and turned their attention to the cab controls.

Hitch grabbed them seconds before the hammer impacted the cutoff handle. "You crazy fool! If we lose the cab controls we'll never stop!"

"Precisely," said the voice. "This train shall never stop!"

Hitch had to wonder sometimes how in the world he kept ending up in these situations.


The day had started like most other days in his life. Get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, head out, get Rebecca ready to go. All the usual things. This morning was a little different, though. His working wasn't passengers to start his day. Instead, it was a mail train.

As he backed Rebecca onto the train, he saw mail being loaded onto the train, and several of his friends boarding. "Hey guys. What's going on?"

"We'll be doing mail sorting," Zipp said. "Unfortunately, Misty's sick again so she can't work her booked turn, but Pipp agreed to fill in."

"Misty seems to be sick a lot," Hitch said.

"Well, it turns out that she lacks quite a few of the vaccinations we take for granted, so she's getting all of those," Pipp answered. "Getting her caught up on those will take quite a long time."

"But anyway, it's the three of us keeping an eye on the shipment," Sunny said. "Should be a simple job."

More carts of mail were being wheeled onboard the train, and it wouldn't be long until the train was ready to go. The mail was still being wheeled onboard. "This is more mail than usual," Rebecca noted.

"We'll be working all the way to Penzance today," Hitch said. "That means we'll have to use the turntable at Truro."

"There's a turntable now?" Rebecca asked.

"Yes, there is," Hitch replied. "Newly installed too. Should be fun to give it a go, as well."

At last, preparations were completed for the run. It was warm, and the sun was in the sky as the train sat there in the Spring day. The last door banged, the guard showed a green flag- the Ocean Mail was ready to go!

With a blast of the whistle, Rebecca's wheels dug into the rails, and the heavy train began to move out of the platform- the mail coaches shuddered and groaned as they rumbled along, clearing the station approaches quickly and soon beginning the climb out of the Fal Valley. They flew by almost as if they were flying, and the sheer speed they were covering (around 40 miles an hour), meant that the journey they were taking took them approximately 15 minutes. Things went smoothly on the first portion, and it seemed as though all was good. What a United States Navy aviator would have termed a milk run, so to speak.

Upon arrival in Truro, Hitch took Rebecca off to be turned on the turntable. Before this point, Rebecca had always been operated tender first on the return to Falmouth, but running tender first over these sorts of distances wasn't practical. Instead, Rebecca was turned on the new turntable, and soon reattached to her train.

They were only a few minutes down when they got underway again, and Hitch was confident that they could make up the lost time easily. As they flew down the Cornish hills and up the valleys, he suddenly got a call on the radio.

"-itch! Don't slow down!"

"What appears to be the problem, over?"

"I'm the problem."

Hitch had barely any time to react before he took a shovel to the face.


Zipp lunged at one of them, but they jumped out of the way and charged back.

"Take this!" they shouted, and wheeled a large mail cart her way.

Zipp rolled out of the way of the large mail cart before somebody else jumped her and tried to pin her down. "A little help here!"

Pipp slammed Zipp's attacker over the head with a sorting tool. "LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!"

Another one then charged them, which caught Pipp off guard. Suddenly, there was a bump, and everything was briefly airborne- including those onboard. Zipp took advantage of the temporary shift in gravity to kick Pipp's assailant away.

She tried to reach for her radio, but barely had time to react as everything slammed back down onto the ground. "Of course!" she said, and spoke again. "Hitch, drive as fast as you can! There are hijackers on the train!"


Hitch heard the message, but barely had any opportunity to do much about it. His attacker was now in full view.

"Fancy seeing you again, Sprout," Hitch said, getting to his feet after the blow.

"I see your eyes still work," Sprout replied. If it was somehow possible, he looked even more crazed than the last time Hitch had seen him. "And now it's time to get my revenge."

Hitch was back in action, and knocked Sprout back, aiming to incapacitate him with his attacks. But Sprout blocked them.

"I did the same training as you, remember?" he said. "I know all your tricks!"

He then launched another attack, but Hitch was only briefly knocked down. Hitch staggered to his feet and lumbered forward. "Nice try, but you'll have to do better than that!"

His assailant swung at him, the fist barely connecting with his own face.

"Huh. Guess you're a little sloppy, huh?" Hitch lunged, but the attacker swung back and knocked him off balance. They then grabbed a hammer and turned their attention to the cab controls.

Hitch grabbed them seconds before the hammer impacted the cutoff handle. "You crazy fool! If we lose the cab controls we'll never stop!"

"Precisely," said the voice. "This train shall never stop!"


Back in the mail coaches, the girls had teamed up against their attacker. Zipp and Pipp jumped on one hijacker to pin him down whilst Sunny had positioned herself behind a mail cart and shoved it forward into one of the assailants.

He jumped out of the way, and lunged forward.

Sunny rolled as best she could, but staying on the move in a moving train with a shaking floor was proving to be harder than she thought. "Where's a pony up when you need it?"

Once she was back on the ground, she slammed into her attacker and crashed him into the wall. She then pulled back and tried to find a physical object to protect herself with.

"Sunny! A little help here!"

Sunny dashed over to help Pipp, who was helping Zipp hold another down. Their combined body weight was helping to pin the attacker down, but it wasn't going to last forever.

And it didn't. The attacker pushed Pipp off him and punched Zipp in the face. Zipp quickly recoiled by slamming his head into the ground. "SUNNY! BEHIND YOU!"

Sunny wheeled around quickly and slammed the blunt force object into her attacker, sending him flying across the room as they flew over another bump again.


Hitch knew the ordeal was nearly over when he saw a police helicopter flying nearby. "The cops took their sweet time!"

Sprout looked back, and realised he was done for. "You'll never take me alive, copper!" he shouted, and suddenly he jumped from the train and down into the embankment below.

Hitch's cab was finally free of distraction, but he suddenly realised they were flying past the speed board for Long Rock depot. Which was only just outside Penzance. Which meant he was going far too fast!

He slammed the regulator shut and applied maximum brake force. The brake blocks screamed and screeched as the train slowed down, biting into the rails and the wheels. But would the friction be enough?

Sparks flew from the wheels as they slowed down into the station, doing forty miles an hour as they passed the station ramp. "This isn't going to end well!" Rebecca said, and shut her eyes.

But luckily, it did. There was no ear splitting crash, and when she opened her eyes there was about an inch between her buffers and the bufferstops.

Hitch got out and ran back down the train as emergency crews swarmed the platform. He pulled open the main sorting door to find his friends all piled on top of one person.

"What happened here?" he asked.

"Got a pair of handcuffs?" Zipp asked.

"No. Why?"

Zipp rolled her eyes. "Get some, because this guy's still dangerous."

"Get off! You're hurting me!"

Zipp looked at Sunny. "Permission to knock him out?"

"Permission granted."


Only later would the nature of the plan be learned. After the attackers were interrogated, it seemed they intended to crash the train at Penzance and get it blamed on the crew, thereby curtailing the regional rail program.

Although nobody learned what became of Sprout or even quite how he'd gotten onboard the train in the first place, his little attempt at revenge against those he'd once worked alongside had failed miserably.

As it turns out, those fighting for survival are not easy opponents.

Author's Note:

This chapter is inspired by FedEx Flight 705, a failed hijacking of a cargo flight in which the crew succesfully fought off their attacker despite being badly wounded. Credit needs to be given to the pilot, who flew the aircraft, a DC-10, through barrel rolls, near vertical dives, and even a brief moment of breaking the sound barrier- none of which the airframe was designed to do. The title of the chapter is a reference to the Mayday episode which covered this incident, and some of the dialogue references the cockpit voice recording. There's also a reference to Pacific Southwest Airlines Flight 1771 in there if you can spot it.

Sprout breaking into the cab and trying to destroy the cab controls is a reference to both the Robot Chicken short Blow some Steam (where the antagonist tries to do the same thing, much to Thomas' discomfort) and the finale of Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning: Part 1, which features a similar sequence as part of its climax.