The Irregular Misadventures of the Equestria Girls (Volume 1)

by ShopperBrony90

Rainbow Dash's Body

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were walking around the streets holding a box of candy and more sugar treats. The farm girl was not very happy about this.

"This is boring." She complains.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rainbow asked.

"It means that the next time we get to do something for our family's debt problems, 'ah get to choose, why did ya picked the candy selling task? This is like the worst errand ever, Rainbow Dash!"

"I think it's the funnest errand ever." Rainbow Dash defends.

"Ya don't really think that. Ya just don't want to admit that you're wrong."

"Why would I admit something I'm not?"

"Rainbow, seriously, this is more boring than watching 'ya trying to read fandom." Applejack said.

"Is it more boring than your face?"

"Ah don't know, is it more boring than my fist in your face, ya' noob!"

"You're the noob!"

"No, ya' a noob!"

The two began fighting until Pinkie Pie shows up and sees the commotion. "Applejack, Rainbow Dash, stop," She pleaded. "We can all be noobs!"

They quickly let go of each other dust themselves off. "Oh, hey Pinkie Pie."

"So, how do you like being the guardians of the sweets?" She asked with an excitement.

"Oh, it's awesome!" Rainbow claims.

"This errand is boring." Applejack disagreed.

The two began fighting again, but not until Pinkie Pie caught their attention. "But Applejack, don't you like free sweets?"

She stops fighting with Rainbow Dash upon hearing the question what Pinkie just asked her. "What?"

"When I do this errand, all the sweets are free! Bye, bye!" She then walks off.

They looked at the boxes their carrying, and quickly take them to Rainbow's house too far from where they are just now. And placed on the table and started shoving sweets into their mouths.

"I guess this means I was right about this errand." Rainbow said.

---

A montage began, with the duo eating a variety of sweets and sugar and desserts. At the end, the living room was mess, both Applejack and Rainbow Dash is sick from overeating.

"Ah' need to eat something healthy, like salad or something."

"What?! Are you kidding? AJ, all these treats are free, Applejack." Rainbow said, stopping her from vomiting. "Trust me. If we keep eating, we'll feel better in no time."

"Oh, if we eat more, we'll feel better. Rainbow Dash, think 'bout this for a just a minute."

"Think? I'm not listening to a cowgirl who was wrong about that errand being cool. No, I think I'd rather listen to an awesome who's right all the time. Me." she said. Holding a donut mixed with sugar dust, chocolate sauce and strawberry sauce, and coffee dust. And eat it.

---

Meanwhile, the Rainbooms just finishing practicing at Rainbow's garage and ready to hit the road. While Applejack decided to stay and eat some salad inside the dining room. "Ahh. Ah' feel so much better."

"So do I." Rainbow said. Put a donut with other biscuits inside the blender and starts to blender, grinding all the food into juice. She drinks it, causing her stomach to grumble.

"Rainbow, I'm telling 'ya. If 'ya keep eating like that, 'ya body is goin' to abandon ya'."

"Shut up!"

"Whatever. 'Ah just trying to help. Don't say 'ah didn't warn 'ya." Applejack said, as she packed her guitar and leave.

"I showed her." Rainbow Dash said, putting a donut in her mouth.

---

A split second later, Rainbow Dash is rolling on the floor in pain. "Why isn't more food working?!" Her stomach growled again, causing her to scream in agony. She tries to pick the same donut she hadn't took a bite. "One more should do it…"

She then loses control of her hands, and it was pulling her face. Pull her to her feet, pulling her around the dining room. Her hands were pulling really hard, and her pupils disappeared. "What are you doing?!" Her hands keep pulling, thus injecting Rainbow Dash as a light blue blob of consciousness.

"Aww, let me back in!" She begged.

But her body shoves and runs off.

"Wait! Come back!"

She tries to go after her body, but stumble into a bucket on the floor. "Oh well. I'm just going to chill in this bucket!"

---

The next morning, Applejack visited Rainbow Dash's house and look around for Rainbow Dash. While hearing voices from the dining room.

"Hello? Hello?"

She sees a light blue blob inside the bucket. "Aw gross! What the apples is that?!"

"Ha, ha! Who's the loser now, Applejack?"

She then realized that light blue blob was her friend. "Wait…Rainbow Dash?!"

"AJ, in your face! I was right! My stomach doesn't even hurt anymore!"

"That's because 'ya don't even have a body anymore! Rainbow, this is bad!"

"Yeah, if by bad you mean awesome like me! Now dump some cheese puffs into the trash can! I'm starving!"

Applejack carried the bucket with Rainbow Dash in it. "Let's get you to Twilight. She'll know how to fix this."

Meanwhile at Twilight's house, she was examining Rainbow Dash as a light blue blob.

"What happened to her body?" She asked.

"Ah don't know. It like, ditched her or something from eating too much junk food." Applejack answered.

"Well, it looks like it's not that big deal, if she doesn't mind being a bodiless consciousness for the rest of her life."

"It's cool. I don't mind."

"What?! No! Rainbow Dash, please think 'bout this!"

"Since when does being a right make you a-"

But Applejack puts a lid on the bucket. "Twilight, what do we do? We can't let her leave like this."

"I saw this happened to someone back at Crystal Prep. You have till sunset to get it back. You know where it is?" She asked.

"No."

"Then we have to go find it. Let's go."

The duo walked towards to the door leaving Rainbow Dash. "We'll be right back Rainbow Dash, just stay put." Then they left.

"What? Where you guys going? At least shove some nachos into my trash hole. Guys?"

---

Few minutes later, Rainbow Dash used all her might to get the lid off of the bucket she was in. "I guess it's kinda hard to move without my body." She then sees a hockey stick and roller blades (The one she gave to Twilight on her birthday) then, she comes up a better idea.

Applejack and Twilight hid behind the bushes and saw Rainbow Dash's body eating a plate full of salad.

"What's it doing?"

"Eating a salad." Twilight answered. "Rush her on a count of three. 1, 2, 3-"

Rainbow Dash arrives with the tape from the hockey stick strapped to the roller skates and her bucket. "Hey, guys! What's up?"

Rainbow's body stops eating the salad and runs off.

"No!" Applejack and Twilight shout.

"We told you to stay put!" Twilight scolds.

"Rainbow Dash, ya scared it away!" Applejack shouts.

"Oh, don't worry about that." Rainbow said. "Remember how I said I didn't need it? Well, I was right again! Check it!"

She then wheels forward and backward much to Applejack's horror.

"Ah can't believe you! Just stay put!" She then storms off.

When they left, Rainbow Dash gets bored. "All this being right is making me hungry."

Meanwhile, the Canterlot Movie Club, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are relaxing in Sugarcube Corner.

"Nothing starts the break without some refreshing beverage. Ain't that right fellas?" Apple Bloom asked with her friends nodded in agreement.

Scootaloo then hear something. "Wait. What was that?"

Through the window, they saw Rainbow Dash as blue blob in a bucket, skating to the front entrance. And slams the doors.

"Give me some snacks!" Rainbow shouted.

"What are you?!" Sweetie Belle asked terrified.

"It looks like bucket of blue goo." Scootaloo observes.

"What?! It's me, Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh, man! That boot with wheels stole my sister's voice!"

"No, I didn't steal anything."

"You're not stealing these voices. C'mon guys, let's bail!"

The Canterlot Movie Club members quickly made a run for it from Sugarcube Corner.

"It's me, Rainbow Dash! Aww, man."

---

Meanwhile, Twilight picks up the eaten salad. "She's close. I'll take care of the body. You go find Rainbow Dash; we don't have much time." She then looks up the sky and the sun were slowly setting.

Applejack walked past by Sugercube Corner while looking for Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Where is she?" She then sees her little sister along with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle carrying weapons; Apple Bloom is carrying a small wooden plank, Scootaloo holds a paddle and wears a helmet, and Sweetie Belle holds Rarity's mirror as a shield.

"Hey, have ya'll seen Rainbow Dash?"

"No," Scootaloo Answered. "Have you seen a magic garbage can? We need to beat the living-"

"Magic garbage can? That was Rainbow Dash! Your sister!"

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, so I guess that makes sense." Sweetie Belle said.

"So ya saying that blue goo Rainbow Dash? Big sister, what's going on?" Apple Bloom asked.

"No time to explain! Which way did she go?"

They hear Rainbow's scream few feet away as a trash collector dumped Rainbow Dash into a garbage truck. "RAINBOW DASH!"

Then Rainbow Dash was stuck inside a garbage truck.

"Augh! This is not what I want to give myself some time!" She said and starts to scream for help. "Help!"

"No-one can hear you."

"Who's there?"

Then she sees a talking basketball coming out from the darkness. "Don't worry; just another bodiless consciousness. Whoa! Hey, did you work way too hard too?"

"No. I ate too much junk food."

"Yep, that'll do it. Me? I was a female triad member. I could have gone pro. My boss keeps on telling me, "If you kept on pumping miniguns like that, your body is going to abandon you!" I told him she was full of it! But I didn't get my body back in time and now look at me; stuck with a basketball for a body."

"Well, my body is still good."

"Wait, your body is still good? Then what are you doing here, dummy?"

"Hey! Who you calling a-"

"You must not want it. May I take it?"

"No way, bro!"

But the basketball runs away. Don't worry, I'll find it. So long sucker!"

"No!" Rainbow was upset. But then the trash door opens and reveals to be Applejack.

"Applejack! You were right and I was wrong! I'm sorry for being so stubborn please helped me get my body back!" She begged.

"Don't worry, Rainbow. We can still get it back on time. Even if we mess up, ya always got this!" Applejack said, holding her skate-can.

"But seriously, I need my body back."

Applejack pulled out her phone and called Twilight. "Twilight, I found Rainbow Dash."

"I found the body, but you better come quickly. We'd got a problem."

The scene cuts to the front of Canterlot High, where Rainbow's body, in a triad outfit, tries to lift a dumbbell. But immediately drops the weight. The triad's essence ejects from Rainbow's body. "Body, you're worthless! I can't believe you can't even lift a single dumbbell!"

"Hey! What are you doing with my body?" Rainbow asked. With Applejack and Twilight on her side.

"Oh, it's you!" Morphs back into Rainbow's body. "What do you think? Pretty cool, right?"

"No, not pretty cool. You dressed me up like a loser!"

"Aw, no wonder your body left you. Look, I've been tired of using that basketball for the rest of my life. There's got to be purpose on this body."

"Give me back my body!"

"Finders keepers, losers weepers."

"Applejack!" Twilight shouts.

"We tried in a nice way." Applejack intervenes. "Now we do it in the apples way."

The triad member looked at her nervously and run off. "So long suckers!"

The girls chased the member down through town and with her being inside Rainbow's body she uses her super speed to get away from them.

"I forgot that her geode is still with her so she's too fast." Twilight says.

Then, Sunset, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity pull alongside in Sunset's car. "Are you having a game, noobs?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"I really wish you wouldn't teach her those words." Rarity said.

They then jumped into the car, with Twilight at the back, holding Rainbow Dash, while Applejack took over the wheel and hit the gas hardly.

Then the chase continues downhill. And they are getting closer and closer to her body.

"I'll take it from here!" Rainbow said.

"Rainbow Dash, no!"

But it's too late. She dived forwards to her body, tumbling downside of the road. "It's too steep. We'll have to go around!" Twilight says.

Further down the road, they emerge from the bushes and started fighting.

"Give me back my body!" Rainbow shouted.

"No! Get off me!"

She somehow merged back into her body. "Get out of my body!"

The two essence pops out of her body and continue to wrestle her. "No! You get out of my body, America!" The triad's essence throw's Rainbow's essence at the car, hitting the windshield. Applejack blindly runs into Rainbow's body, sending the triad's essence flying to the sky to a nearby playground, where lands on the seat of the swings and becomes one with it. A fat child walks to it and sit on it. "Aww, dang it!"

"Guys, we did it! Rainbow Dash cheered. "I got my body back!"

"Are you sure you still want it?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't know, it looks pretty beaten up." Pinkie Pie said.

"I'm so sorry body me, I promise I will never treat you like that again." Rainbow Dash said to her body.

"Quick! Before the sun sets!" Twilight warns.

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath and morphs back into her body. And her pupils appeared again.

"Rainbow Dash?" Sunset asked. "Are you alright?"

Then Rainbow Dash screamed in pain.

---

Meanwhile at CHS, the Equestria Girls were relaxing at the band room after what happened yesterday. With Rainbow Dash sitting on a wheelchair and cast on her left arm and her right leg.

"You're right Applejack the candy selling errand is pretty lame after all." She spoke.

"Oh. About that. Those sweets aren't free." Applejack informs.

"What?"

"Turns out only Pinkie Pie gives them away for free."

"Pinkie Pie?"

"Yeah. And I guess we're supposed to do odd jobs for the next six weeks just to pay it all."

"Aww, noob!"

---

THE END