Desserters

by The Iguana Man

Chapter One: The Galloping Gourmet

A juddering jolt ran through the train car, wrenching Twist out of her sleep and sending her sliding forward for a moment, feeling like something had grabbed her skeleton and shook it without bringing her skin along for the ride. Fortunately, her pillow was firm enough to arrest her movement quickly, though it did knock her glasses askew and turned half of the world into an indistinct mist of vague colours.

Purely by instinct, Twist reached a hoof up to straighten the glasses onto her snout. In fact, it had to be by instinct, since her next action made the whole process redundant – turning back to her pillow and pressing her face into it with a groan. It didn't completely keep the light out of her eyes, as a little still managed to diffuse through the pillow's fur, but it was enough to give her a bit of respite and, hopefully, allow her to recapture her sleep.

“Er, didn't think I'd ever say no to snuggling with you, Twist,” her pillow said, “but your glasses are... kind of poking into me.”

Twist blinked her eyes ever-so-slightly open, awareness and memory slowly trickling back into her conscious mind. In particular, she recalled that trains didn't generally come with pillows and, while she had occasionally thought about getting a travel pillow of her own to bring with, she didn't typically travel enough to warrant one. So, all in all, the likelihood of her having a pillow seemed suddenly rather small.

Also, pillows didn't usually talk. On reflection, that might have been a more relevant point.

Twist's eyes shot open as she realized what was happening, backing away from the stomach she'd been resting on. “Oh! Oh, I'm thorry, Truffle, I didn't...”

Truffle Shuffle grinned, leaning over to follow her as she shifted away. “It's fine, Gumdrop.” He reached a thick hoof out and around her head, pulling her firmly into a hug. “It was just a bad position, is all. You know I'm always happy to be your cushion.” He gave her a squeeze – not nearly as hard as he was capable of, lest she be put into the hospital, but enough to make very clear he wasn't letting her get the idea he didn't want her snuggles.

Twist smiled nervously, and wriggled herself around until she was facing away. Once there, her posture slumped as she rested her back against Truffle, her frizzy hair bunching up beneath her slightly. She raised her hooves to clasp gently around Truffle's leg and sighed – she loved this position, Truffle's soft-yet-firm body giving her a wonderful feeling of stability. At times, she felt that having him prop up her back like this was the closest she'd ever get to having a spine.

Still, the thought didn't stay long before it was chased out – she knew that Truffle didn't like it when she put herself down like that and she... tried to limit it as much as she could.

Unfortunately, at the moment, that was proving a bit difficult. “I know, but... I thhouldn't need a cuthhion. I thought I'd be okay getting up thith early, but...”

“Hey, now,” Truffle said as he began gently running his other hoof through her mane, something Twist could never figure out the mechanics of, given how untameable her mane was, but wouldn't dream of objecting to, “no judgment here, nothing wrong with being tired. Trust me, you're not the only one – I'd be sleeping right along with you if we weren't on a train. I can never sleep on trains – the movement just shakes my insides around too much.”

Twist paused thinking for a moment before concentrating on her own body and the feeling as it was vibrated by the train. After a few seconds, she nodded. “Yeah, I can thee it. Never really thought about it before.”

Truffle chuckled and pulled his hoof away from her mane for a moment. Even before she heard the sound and felt the wave running through his body, she knew he was going to slap his stomach and she giggled when it happened – gentler than normal, presumably for her comfort's sake, but definitely hard enough to be heard and felt. “Course not – you don't have as many insides to shake.”

Twist rolled her eyes with a smile as Truffle's hoof returned to her head. “Thtill, probably betht one of uth thtays awake – we don't want to mith our thtop, do we?”

Truffle shrugged. “No, but I doubt we would. This time in the morning? They're probably on high alert for ponies sleeping through their stops. We'll be fine if you want to get a little more rest, Gumdrop.”

“No, I'm okay,” Twist assured him, reaching down to the saddlebags at the base of the seats. Fiddling around for a moment, she pulled out her glasses case and popped it open, extracting her cleaning cloth. That done, she took her glasses off and began wiping away the smudges that had been made during her awakening, trusting in the broad form behind her to keep her safe while her vision was compromised. “I kinda want to be awake when we arrive – I want to get a good look at Fillydelphia ath we get clothe. Well,” she shook her head at herself, “ath good ath we can get with the retht of the train in the way, anyway.”

Twist felt Truffle's smile as he rested his muzzle against her. “Oh, it's a big city – I'm sure we'll have a heck of view. We might even see some of the decorations from outside.”

Twist thought for a moment before shaking her head. “Probably not – the whole event'th happening on the other thide of the thity from where we come in. Though...” she slumped down a little, as if to hide her blush from her coltfriend's sight by retreating into his hooves, “well, it'th kinda thilly but... I did like to imagine we'd be able to thmell thingth before we arrived. But, well...” she looked at the train car around her, almost impressed how it could seem both run-down and sterile at the same time. And, while the smell wasn't too unpleasant, it was clearly going to overpower whatever tiny aromas could even penetrate the closed capsule, to say nothing of the smells of the city around it. “Yeah, like I thaid, it'th pretty thilly.”

Truffle bobbed his head to the side a little, weighing the idea before shrugging. “A little, I suppose, but I think it's a nice thought. And, really, you're right, we should be able to smell those wonderful smells as we get nearer and it's only because trains and air and physics are so stubborn that we can't!” He slammed a hoof down on the seat next to him, clearly as a joke but still with enough force that Twist could have sworn she heard a tiny crack from the frame. Regardless, after a moment, she relaxed, confident that the bench wasn't going to give way or, if it did, that Truffle would make sure to give her the softest of landings.

With a smile, she snuggled deeper into his side and leant her head back, her eyes losing focus as she dreamed of the day ahead of her. She took a deep breath in and, though she was positive it was her imagination, she honestly felt like she could sense a tiny smell of sweetness tickling her nose. After a moment, she closed her eyes and embraced the idea.

“Well,” she said after a moment, “it'th not like we're not gonna have plenty to thmell all day, I don't think a few leth minuteth ith gonna be a problem. And that'th another reathon I don't wanna go back to thleep – I want to be awake and thharp... thhar... awake and alert ath much of today ath pothible. I don't wanna mith a thecond onthe we arrive.”

Truffle chuckled. “You think I'd let you? No chance – you've been excited for this for weeks.”

Twist turned a little to give him a knowing look. “Look who'th talking. But we've got good reathons to be. I mean thith ith...”

---

“THE NATIONAL DESSERT COMPETITION!”

Twist giggled as she watched Truffle throw his hooves out wide and bellow out the title in his excitement. She did look around a moment later to make sure nopony else was too near him when he did – she'd long since gotten used to how loud he could be be and he always made sure he was either quiet or distant enough not to hurt her ears, but she wasn't sure if anypony else would be as comfortable – but the early hour meant the crowd was thin enough that there wasn't anypony right next to him.

Furthermore, looking around at both the attendees and the many vendors, she couldn't see anyone who even seemed to notice his outburst. Apparently, a young colt standing in the middle of the path and belting out the name of the event like they were trying to call a cloud-napping Pegasus wasn't even worth registering. Though, to be fair, she was pretty sure any colt or filly their age and many even older would be that excited to be here and just wouldn't express it so openly and loudly, so maybe it wasn't as unexpected as she thought.

Still, she couldn't help but smile at her coltfriend's outcry, feeling just as excited herself about being here. Closing her eyes, she took a moment to just stand there and soak in all the sensations of the event around her – the smells of so many delectable treats crowding into her nose, all clamouring for her attention yet somehow working in harmony enough to create a delightful mix of scents and send light, teasing hints of tastes floating just over her tongue; the sounds of ingredients being poured and melted and whisked, ovens flaring and simmering and pinging, treats being eaten and savoured, even requests being made and bits eagerly exchanged with audible anticipation; the complex, shifting arrangement of temperature in the air, balancing and rebalancing between the heat of ovens and pans cooking food and the cold of fridges and racks preserving and displaying it. All of it combined into a heady feeling of place in the young filly and brought a grin to her face. While she had only limited experience with being in a professional kitchen, she still found the experience wonderful even in its frequent rush and tension, and this was both an escalation and a variation on that feeling taken in aggregate and put into the open air. Almost all her senses were engaged other than her closed eyes and sense of direct touch, and those barely even registered with her due to how the others were being engulfed with it all.

However, soon enough, she found a new level of appreciation as she felt something gently push up against her shoulder and flank, the comfortable thickness of Truffle's side and belly being unmistakable and bringing her appreciation of her situation to new levels. Not only was she, for the first time since she'd heard about it and wished she could go all those years ago, at the National Dessert Competition – one of the biggest events in the Equestrian culinary world and certainly the biggest in her chosen part of it – but she was here with her coltfriend and a connoisseur of all things yummy. There were probably one or two more wonderful situations she could have found herself in, but she couldn't think of any at that moment.

After a few seconds, though, as Truffle just stood there silently, supporting and keeping contact with her, but not calling attention to himself, Twist giggled. “Tho,” she said, her eyes still closed, “I gueth you can be quiet after all.”

“Course I can!” Truffle replied, his voice rumbling through her side as much as in her ears and sending a pleasant tingle through her hooves. “If my fillyfriend's having a moment, I'll smash anything that tries to bother her and that includes my own mouth if I have to.”

Twist laughed again, even as she rolled her closed eyes a little at the idea. Despite her playful jibe, she knew perfectly well that Truffle had no problem containing himself when he needed to. He was silent enough of the time and never showed any issue stopping himself from doing something. She was even fairly sure he could forgo eating for long periods if he really needed to, though that was obviously something he and those who knew him didn't want to happen.

It wasn't that he couldn't hold himself back totally when appropriate; it was simply that when he did engage with something, be it eating something, doing something or simply saying something, he would invariably leap into it with all four hooves, throwing himself into it completely... metaphorically and occasionally literally for those rare things that could take his full weight and force without breaking. He was very much an all-or-nothing sort of pony. Not that Twist minded in the slightest – if felt like hardly a day went by she didn't feel the need to thank any deity listening that she'd not only found someone with such a love of life, but that he'd equally enthusiastically returned her affections... for some reason.

In fact, privately, she wondered if that same general enthusiasm was the only reason he was so overt and wholehearted about their relationship. After all, most ponies their age were still figuring out exactly what these sorts of emotions meant and how they worked and which one was which, and so any kind of romantic connection was tentative, unsure and, on some level, understood as a learning experience. For Truffle, though, there was no ambiguity – she was his fillyfriend, he loved her and he didn't care one bit who knew it or what they thought of it. It was hard not to wonder if this was simply how he'd be in any relationship and had nothing to do with how he felt about her, no matter how much he tried to assure her otherwise.

Then again, it wasn't like she had any doubts about her feelings for him, so perhaps it wasn't so strange. And, even if she didn't have any idea what he saw in her beyond her still-amateur cooking skills, she had enough faith in him to trust that there was something. And, if she was being perfectly honest with herself, it didn't matter as much to her as it possibly should. Whatever the reason for his affections, he still gave them and that was enough for her, and the fact that he did it with such fervour just made it that much more incredible. Perhaps being passionate about things was just his nature, but she didn't want to question it too much – just embrace it, marvel at it and do her best to join in with it where she felt up to it.

As if to underscore that point, when she opened her eyes, she found that, in the time she'd been standing there, he'd somehow visited three separate stalls and gotten small paper bags full of treats, including the soft pretzel he was currently munching on. Seeing her look at it, he smiled and held it out to her, offering a bite.

Shaking off her thoughts and doubts, Twist gave a small smile back and tore a tiny piece off the pretzel with a hoof, popping it into her mouth with a delighted hum.

“It's okay if you want to have a bit more,” Truffle assured her. “Actually, should probably say that right now for everything I'm going to buy – it's for both of us and you can have as much as you like.”

“Nm, thnt'f...” she paused as she pushed the bite around her mouth for a moment, coating her whole tongue in it before swallowing. “That'th okay, I like tathting them more than eating them... not that I'm thaying you don't, I know you love the tathte too, it'th jutht...”

Truffle pressed a sugar-coated hoof against her lips, bring her panicked amendments to a halt. “It's okay, I know – I didn't get this size by taking little nibbles, but that doesn't mean I don't savour the taste, we both know that. And you can take as big or as small bits as you want, it's up to you. And I'm still buying for both of us.”

Twist nodded with a small, appreciative smile. “Okay, I'll try to keep that in mind. Though I'll probaby thtill athk every time. Thorry, it'd jutht feel rude not to.”

Truffle shrugged. “Not a problem, as long as you know the answer's always yes. I'll probably just give it over instead of answering, though, if you don't mind.”

“Oh, yeah that workth,” Twist replied as the two began trotting down the central path. “Probably better you don't have to anthwer every time – I'm probably going to be athking a lot. That'th the other reathon I'll be taking thmaller biteth: I want to try as much thtuff from ath many different platheth ath pothible, and, well... I don't have your ability to put it all away, tho...”

Truffle laughed, his big belly shaking as he did. “To be fair, I wouldn't be able to if I didn't have my cutie mark helping me out.” He indicated with his head towards the knife and fork on his flank. “I'd call that an unfair advantage.” He looked back at Twist, only to raise an eyebrow at her silent giggle. “What's funny?”

Twist's laughter subsided after a moment, though her smile remained as she noted how secure both were in the knowledge she wasn't and wouldn't be laughing at his weight. “I'm just thinking... we both know it'th a good thing... and tho do plenty of rethetaurantth... not all, though” the two shared a smile, remembering his official, national limits in 'All-You-Can-Eat' places and the ban from 'Eat It All and It's Free' challenges, “but I bet there'th a lot of ponieth who'd think being able to eat tho much and get tho big would be a curthe, even if they knew it didn't forthe you to and let you thtay fit.”

“Oh, no question, there's loads of ponies like that,” Truffle gave a big grin and an impish twitch of his eyebrows. “Bet you even more I could win a tug of war against three of them at once.”

“Oh, five, at leatht,” Twist replied, returning the grin with a little less sharpness, but just as much amusement. “Thtill, even if we wanted to bet on it, it'd have to wait. If there'th one plathe in Equethtria where we won't find any of thothe ponieth, it's here – it's practically a fethtival of food and fat.”

Truffle put a hoof around his fillyfriend. “Our kind of place.”

Twist just let out a happy sigh and leaned into the hug, looking around at the ponies and other creatures around them, not finding a single adult who looked as if they might disappear if they turned sideways. Not that Twist had any real animosity towards such attitudes – to each their own, even if their own wasn't much – but it was nice to be somewhere where there was no feeling of societal pressure to maintain one's waistline.

Admittedly, that wasn't so much of a problem for her or, indeed, for most children. Ponies her age tended to use up a fair bit more energy, so they could eat a lot more sweets without worrying too much about their weight. It took a surprising amount of effort to be like Truffle. As a result, the children she could see running about tended to be the most slim of the ponies around her, relatively speaking. Admittedly, given the early hour, there were very few of them, but there were one or two that she could...

Oh...

Her pupils shrank and her throat dried out a little as she caught sight of one pony she hadn't expected to see. She felt the hoof around her shift as it felt her tensing muscles before withdrawing so Truffle could face her.

“Something wrong, Gumdrop? Don't worry, I'll...” he followed her eyeline before trailing off. Twist blinked, a little confused about why before she looked at him and saw a smile on his face.

Her eyes widening, she opened her mouth to stop him, even though she knew the moment she did she was too late. Yes, indeed, Truffle would throw himself totally into everything...

“HEY! APPLE BLOOM! HELLO THERE!”

...even if she sometimes really wished he wouldn't.

Apple Bloom looked over, startled for a moment before she recognized the pair and started galloping over, a smile blossoming onto her face. Twist gulped, doing her best to keep it silent and not ruin the moment, and backed off slightly, positioning herself to hide a little bit behind the considerable cover of her coltfriend.

“Well, I'll be! Howdy, Truffle! Twist!” The energetic filly came to a stop in front of them, giving only a momentary glance at Twist before turning her attention to the one who had called her. Twist smiled a little in gratitude, as that both helped her efforts to remain relatively unnoticed and, in her mind, validated her reason to. “Wasn't expectin' to see a pair o' familiar faces like you. What brings you here?”

“Really?” Truffle raised an eyebrow with a sardonic smirk. “You weren't expecting an aspiring cook and a professional eater to be here? I think our reasons are pretty obvious. If anything, I should be asking what you're doing here.”

“Oh, I'm just helpin' AJ out with our stall,” Apple Bloom explained before a slight frown edged onto her face. “Least, that's the theory, but you might not know it with how little she trusts me. I mean, you'd think she'd get it through her head after last time.” She let out a small huff before catching sight of Truffle's unknowing expression. “Well, last competition, it was just me an' Granny runnin' the whole thing – AJ was helpin' Pinkie get the Cakes' entry here an' Mac was restin' after nearly doin' his back in transportin' the dang thing. Still, couldn't 'xactly let the event pass by – it's a big bit maker for us, 'specially after the winter months, so we got it all set up and sold. Weren't easy, but we did it and does AJ think that maybe I'm ready to...” she paused, her hooves frozen in the middle of being thrown up into the air.

Truffle and Twist just coughed awkwardly.

Apple Bloom lowered her hooves again with a guilty chuckle. “Sorry, just a little annoyed right now, didn't meant to bring down the mood any. Ain't too bad – gives me more time to look around and it ain't like it's gonna slow down our sales none. Oh, hey, should probably ask – do you want me to save either o' you a piece o' pie or, maybe a whole one? Reckon I could talk AJ into a discount if you wanted... though I guess you can have Apple family pie any time you like, so it probably ain't that special...”

Truffle chuckled. “Oh, don't worry, Ms. Salespony – your Granny's pies are always special. That's why I'm going to say no – we're not going to take any away from all these ponies who can't buy it all year round. I mean, if you have any stock left over once everything's packed up, I'd be okay taking it off your hooves, but... well, somehow, I don't think that's going to be a problem.

“No kiddin',” Apple Bloom grinned. “The old competition made enough ponies hungry. If this new one don't get their bellies rumblin', don't know what will.

Truffle tilted his head. “New competition? They changing things up this year?”

For the first time in the conversation, Twist spoke up, looking at Truffle with a sly smile. “Truffle, did you come here without knowing what the competition actually wath thith year?”

Truffle shrugged. “You wanted to come and there's a lot of great food. That's all I need to know, in that order.”

Apple Bloom chuckled, sending Twist back behind Truffle's ample cover. “Fair 'nough. But yeah, the folks behind it're doin' things a li'l different this time. Either o' you hear about what happened with the Cakes' entry last time?”

Truffle shook his head, instantly dashing Twist's hopes she wouldn't have to answer. “Um, thome of it – Mith Pinkie told me a little. Apparently, a bunch of entrieth got almotht ruined. Not ath thabotage or anything, jutht thome ponieth couldn't hold themthelveth back from eating them.”

“Yep, turns out Pinkie just didn't realize how good of a hypemare she was. Spite of everything, weren't any kinda on-purpose sabotage.” Apple Bloom nodded for a moment before smirking. “Now, the dozen or so other entries that got ruined that year? Those were on-purpose sabotage.”

“Huh?” Truffle looked between the two fillies, unsure who would speak first, but Twist just sighed and shrugged, leading Apple Bloom to answer.

“Yeah, turns out chefs can get real dang competitive. Last few o' these competitions were swimmin' in sabotage and dirty tricks and the ponies in charge just didn't know it. So, they decided to switch things up this time to fix things.”

“Really?” Truffle's confusion didn't lessen. “If it was that bad, I don't see how they could have not known about it.”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Well, 'pparently it was kinda an 'Emperor's New Coat' situation – whole load o' folks knew it was goin' on, but none o' them wanted to actually say anythin' about it, cause either they'd done it 'emselves or they didn't wanna admit they'd been got. So, lotta folks had no idea 'bout any of it, organizers included. Was only when the whole business with the Cakes' cake went down that it all came out – it started gettin' around how it wasn't sabotage, which made a buncha folks sound surprised and got people askin' questions and talkin' about things and it all kinda snowballed from there.”

There was a moment of silence before Truffle let out a breath. “Wow, didn't know the food world was so cut-throat. Almost enough to put you off your appetite... well, for most ponies, probably.” He chuckled as he took another bite of pretzel. “So, how'd they change things? Not sure how you'd really stop that kind of thing.”

“Actually, was pretty simple – pretty much every bit o' sabotage'd happen while the entries were getting' transported over to the venue or before,” Apple Bloom explained. “While they're here, security's tight enough and there's enough of a crowd that tryin' to screw with each other's way more trouble than it's worth. So, the simplest answer was just to make all the contestants cook things here – give 'em all the equipment and ingredients they need and ask for and just let 'em have at it. Even opened things to the public to see, just to give folks more of a spectacle to see.”

Twist cleared her throat, hesitant to speak up once again, but feeling the need to add something Apple Bloom didn't seem to think to. “Well, kind of, but... well, it'th not a rathe or anything – it'th a dethert contetht, not a cooking contetht. There'th private kitchenth for anypony who doethn't want anypony watching them while they cook,” she pointed out, leading Truffle to nod knowingly, perfectly aware how little she'd want that kind of scrutiny. “And there'th no time limit or anything, tho it'th not thuppothed to be a cooking battle like you might think.”

“Yeah, plenty o' folks who don't like cookin' in front of an audience,” Apple Bloom nodded, not seeming to notice Twist's awkwardness. “But, hey, also plenty o' folks who love it, so it ain't like we're short o' shows or anythin'. And, yeah, ain't designed to be some big kitchen war or nothin', just a way to make sure nopony's playin' dirty.”

Truffle let out a happy laugh. “Ah, so it's not just a big celebration of sweets this year, but a chance to see some of the world's greatest chefs in action? Brilliant!” After a moment, he turned to Twist with a smile. “So, I'm guessing you were hoping to watch some of them too?”

Twist forced a shaky smile onto her face, trying to hide how little she wanted to focus of the conversation to be on her. “Well, thort of... but if we jutht go around the vendorth and try thtuff, I'm okay with that too.”

Truffle snorted. “Well, I'm not!” He turned back to Apple Bloom. “Don't suppose you happen to have a program or something? Be helpful to know when things are so we can plan around them.”

“Well, technically, no, there's nothin' official,” Apple Bloom said with a lopsided smile, “but unofficially? Just go around and listen to folks talk, that'll do it! Still, I know things ain't startin' for about an hour, so you should have time to think about it. Oh!” She clapped a hoof against the ground in realization. “Speakin' of, better get back an' help AJ – wanna be done by the time things kick off. 'Pparently, the first thing to happen's gonna be a three-way cook-off between Gustave Le Grand, Chef Ram Sea an' Hunk L. Tornado and I ain't lookin' to miss ol' Ma Hunk L blowin' those two blowhards outta the water. Hope to see you there!”

Truffle blinked in confusion as Apple Bloom turned away. “I thought you said it wasn't a battle.”

“I said it weren't designed to be a battle,” Apple Bloom said over her shoulder as she trotted away. “I also said these chefs could be real competitive. Keep up.”

There was a brief pause as the two of them were left alone once more. Truffle and Twist looked at each other before Truffle let out a small chuckle. “Well, seems we might be in for quite a show.” He paused again afterwards, his smile dipping into a more serious look. “It's okay, Twist, she's gone. You can relax.”

Twist flinched slightly, startled at the revelation her discomfort had been noticed, even if, now she thought about it, she really shouldn't have been.

However, before she could protest, Truffle's smile returned, but far warmer and gentler. “It's alright, I'm not judging you.” He reached over to stroke her cheek gently with a hoof, drawing a dreamy sigh from her along with all the tension from her shoulders. “If you want to talk about it, I'll happily listen, but if you don't, I'm not going to force you. Just... please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.”

Twist smiled and stepped forward, for once being the one to initiate a hug. “Don't worry, jutht being here'th enough.” She swallowed hard and stepped back. “Maybe I'll feel up to talking about it later, but for now, let'th jutht forget it and get back to trying ath many yummineth ath we can.”

Truffle beamed as he offered his hoof, which she gladly took. “Can do!”