Temporal Trotters

by wyattpugsley

11. The Shape of the Heart

The mirror in front of her disappears, the room lights up and the foggy images of three creatures appear in front of her. Skystar, Starry Eyes, Terrafin. Three of Posada’s closest friends and comrades. She looks up from the ground she’s collapsed on, seeing them look down upon her. The sights fills her with anger, as she stands up and pushes them away with her fin. Causing them to fade away. “I know they look down on me. They see me as broken, as incapable.”

“Do they? Or is that just how you view yourself?” The voice has changed from before, still sounding similar to Posada’s internal monologue but with less aggressive. The images remake themselves, now standing equal with Posada. “You cannot truly tell how someone feels about you. Since there lives a different Posada in the hearts of every creature who meets you. You can only assume based off how you see yourself.”

“Well, why wouldn’t they resent me? I’m a disaster. I’ve been close to destroying everything we’ve built how many times. They’d be right to hate me.”

“But you only assume that because it’s how you feel. You’re hard on yourself, you’re insecure.” The foggy images change and three more appear. Each one is now posed as if they were talking to an image of Posada. “The creatures you know as your friends see it differently. They see you for who you truly are.”

“As a worthless fraud who should have died from negligence a long time ago.”

“As a caring friend and comrade who would do anything to help others. As a leader who brought down the greatest evil in Zebrica since the Storm King. As a partner they want to spend the rest of their life with.”

She looks down at the floor, and then back up to the foggy images. “Then why don’t I see it that way?”

“Because you are broken. You said it already, and we’ve already broken it down. You’re overwhelmed, dealing with scars from the past that you never got the chance to mend.”

The foggy image of Skystar turns to the current Posada, “because you try to carry the burden of your past all by yourself.”

Followed by Starry Eyes looking at Posada as well, “you’re scared to open up and be vulnerable to others. It hurts your heart to bring up negative emotions, to discuss them with your friends. So you just ignore it.”

And finally, the image of Terrafin looks to Posada, “you bottle up your emotions until they explode. It’s not your fault, you’ve never known any other way to deal with them.”

The images all completely fade away. The mirror that appeared before is once again right in front of Posada.

“It’s true… But I don’t know if I can even change those things…”

“You might not be able to,” Posada’s reflection speaks back at her. “But you won’t know until you try. Even if it hurts, even if you fail, it’s worth trying. Do it for yourself. Do it because you want to.” The mirror cracks slightly. “Change how you see yourself. Embrace the change that comes from moving on. Try to see the Posada that all your comrades see.” The mirror cracks even more, almost splitting in half, “You’re the only one who can do it.” The mirror completely breaks into pieces, sending glass shards falling to the floor. Posada lays back down on the floor away from the shards, closing her eyes as she hears a faint voice call out to her.

***

It was over before he even knew it. His life ended at the pull of a lever. Surrounded now by nothing but primordial darkness. It feels… familiar. Yes. He’s been here before. Long before he was born…

“This is the end of the line then…” he thinks. “At least I went out fighting. I did what I could for you, mom, dad. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you two back then.”

It feels like his very soul is simply floating through the void. It feels comforting. Like a warm hug from someone you love.

“Do you have any regrets?” a deep voice calls out to Lucien, coming from no direction in particular.

“I only regret not being there for them. I haven’t regretted my path since then, I’d do it again in a heartbeat even if it ended the same way.”

“Do you think a creature has the right to end another’s life?”

“A right? No, probably not. But in the same light, no creature has a right to own another living being. The creatures who uphold and abuse hierarchies like that are monsters. And if a monster was attacking you or your family you wouldn’t just let it rampage and destroy everything, would you? No, you’d put it down. That’s what I did with those psychotic noble creatures.”

“So, you view what you did as justified?”

“I do. I did what I thought was right. I avenged my family and tried to prevent the same thing from happening to other creatures. I don’t know how well I did with the latter part, but I tried.”

“It’s a fool’s errand. Trying to bring about a revolution as one creature. But perhaps you’ll have time to change that…”

The voice fades completely. Lucien’s soul left to drift in the void unendingly.

***

Skystar looks back up at Posada and Crack Lightning but finds that her surroundings have changed in an instant yet again. She now finds herself suddenly sitting on a train. She looks out to find a never-ending sea outside the train windows with a never-ending sunset casting an orange light into the carriage.

“I moved again?”

The sound of creaking metal and squeaking wheels fills her ears. She looks over to the other side of the carriage, a shadowy figure sitting in the seat across from her. She speaks up softly, “Who… who are you?”

“I’m Princess Skystar!” The figure stands up from the seat, entering the light and revealing herself to be a much younger Skystar, about 12 years old. “I’m the Princess of Hippogriffia! And my mom’s the Queen. Who are you?” she replies.

Skystar isn’t sure how to react, “It… doesn’t matter who I am. I’m just some stranger. Are you on this train all by yourself?”

“Yeah. I went away on a trip to some fancy academy and now I’m going back home. I wanted some of my friends to come but… none of them wanted to. And my mom’s always too busy to come along so… I went by myself.”

“I see…” Skystar remarks, she knows the exact trip the younger version of her is talking about. “Do you have that happen often? Having to do stuff alone or by yourself?”

“Sometimes. Well… more like a lot of the time. I’m used to do it though! Everyone’s always real friendly and nice to me even though I’m all by myself. Sometimes I’ll even have guards to escort me around which is fun!”

Skystar looks down at her younger self with sadness, her face pouting. “Doesn’t it get… lonely never having anyone around? No one your own age?”

“It does but I’ve gotten used to it! I have stuffed animals and my drawings to keep me company!” The younger Skystar unzips a bag that was sitting on the floor next to her seat. Suddenly pulling out some stuffed animals and a notebook with sketches on it. All of which she brings to her older self.

Skystar holds the stuffed animals, tears come to her eyes once again. She remembers them… Her old stuffed bear, the flimsy but soft dragon her grandmother had handmade for her, even the hydra plush she got as a gift for her 9th birthday. And the notebook… filled with sketches of her younger self playing with other creatures her age. The younger Skystar looks at the notebook as well, flipping to another page while her older self holds it. “Sometimes I sketch me going on adventures with the friends I draw. Like here,” she points to the page, “we have a sleepover and get to play our favorite games.”

Tears fall from Skystar’s cheeks and onto the notebook, staining the drawings on it. She wraps her arms and wings around her younger self, hugging her while she cries. “You never deserved this,” she says, sobbing. “They failed you, Skystar. It’s not okay, and it’s not your fault,” she lets go of her younger self, wiping some of the tears from her face with her arm. Putting both her fins on her younger self’s shoulders, she continues, “you don’t need to be brave all the time and put on this happy facade. It’s okay to feel the way you do. To be sad, lonely, and hurt because everyone seems to have forgotten you… I promise, it’s going to get better. You’re always going to be fighting the ghosts from your past. But you’ll meet so many amazing creatures that care so much about you. You’ll have an amazing partner. You’ll be so proud of the creature you’ll become.” She hugs her younger self again, closing her eyes as tears continue to fall. The train carriage they’re standing in begins to slowly fade away, as does Skystar’s younger self. Opening her eyes again Skystar finds herself laying on her back, staring up at sun ray’s breaking through the surface of the ocean.

“I’m underwater… Oh! That’s right! We were looking for the Trident’s Paw! And then a current hit us and we got knocked out!” Skystar braces herself against the sea floor and stands up. Looking around she sees both Posada and Lucien completely unconscious. “That terrible feeling from before is gone… I guess it really did come from some sort of spell, like Lucien was saying. It seems like the dreams were part of that spell too. It’s like we all just fell asleep as we were walking.”

Skystar bends down and shakes her partner Posada lightly, trying to wake her. “Posada, Possy, wake up. You got knocked out by some spell. It’s Skystar.”

Posada’s eyelids slowly open as she stares up at the ocean surface. A few blinks later and she slowly turns her focus to Skystar who’s sitting next to her as she wakes up. “Sky…” she quietly eeks out. Carefully rising from the sea floor, she looks around to see Lucien still sleeping. “Oh man… The last thing I remember was Lucien talking about us being under a spell, and then that was it. Did you get knocked out too, Sky?”

Skystar nods her head up and down, “yeah, I was the first to wake up it seems. I was hugging my younger self and then everything just disappeared. Before I knew it, I was awake with sun rays in my eye.

Posada shows a bit of surprise at hearing Skystar talk about hugging her ‘younger self’, shaking her head slightly. “Your younger self…?” Posada says, thinking back to the things she saw and heard while asleep, “I’m guessing you had a wild dream too. We’ll have to talk about it when we get done here.” Posada then swims over to Lucien, Skystar watching from behind her. Posada shakes him firmly and tries to get him to wake, “Get up, Lucien. You were taken out by a spell. We gotta keep moving.”

He twitches slightly, opening his eyes halfway as he catches a glimpse of Posada hovering over him. Letting out a sigh he sarcastically says, “no rest even for the dead, huh?” He uses his fins to wipe his eyes, standing up after as he sees his two companions waiting for him.

“You were right about it being a spell, Lucien,” Posada remarks. “Skystar woke up first, guess she broke out of it somehow while we were still stuck.”

“Yeah… Lucky for us. Good going, Skystar,” Lucien says, nodding his head to her. “My gut tells me that was just an old spell the cult put around this place, but I really don’t know. There was that voice right before we went under which has me concerned.”

“We’ll just be on guard, I’m sure if this place was fully inhabited, we’d have come across some unwelcoming cult members by now,” Skystar says.

Posada looks out to the ruined buildings of Thistlegorm. Something, or someone, is catching her attention. She turns her focus back to her companions, who have started walking towards the place of the former cult. She follows behind them, quickly catching up.

She swims up alongside them, still feeling the pull towards Thistlegorm. “Skystar, I think there actually is something here,” she speaks up. “Or someone. It’s weird but I can sense them, it’s like I’m being pulled towards them.”

“Could be trying to lure you into a trap,” Lucien replies. “It can’t be helped if it’s pulling you towards the ruins. We’ll just continue being careful.”

Posada nods, still staring into the distance as she looks upon the landscape of the ruins. Dagger drawn in her fin; she swims on.

Author's Note:

Happy Pride Month my fellow fruits!