In an island bunker hundreds of miles from Hippogriffia's mainland, the nation's finest scientists and high-ranking party members anxiously await the countdown for the world's first thermonuclear bomb. In-attendance are Posada, the eccentric Communist revolutionary and Head of State of Hippogriffia. Terrafin, Posada's trusted scientist and friend, as well as project lead and architect of Operation Sunset. And finally, Posada's main advisor and very close friend, former Princess Skystar.
Today is the culmination of Posada's dreams and visions. The ability to harness nuclear fusion as a weapon, and perhaps eventually, harness it as a power source for long expeditions to the stars. However taming the power of the stars is far from an easy task, and leads to something no one could have seen coming.
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Warnings: Mentions of suicide, depictions of injuries and blood, and implicit sexual content mentioned once.
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Playing through Posada's full path in Equestra at War is recommended (because it's amazing) but not at all required. It just gives you more context on the universe and characters.
More nukes for the
NudeNuke fishInteresting
tbf as the author I don't think I really like this chapter as much as the last, it feels a bit repetitive.
What's a posada?
11587635
she's a character from the Hearts of Iron 4 Equestria at War mod!
Congratulations on finishing your first story, here on Fimfiction, (funnily enough I also started writing my first story at around the same time and it was also about Posada).
I really enjoyed your story and how you depicted the relationship between Posada and Skystar, even if I was a little bit confused about Skystar´s pacifism (both in the show and in eaw, she is very militant). I was really curious where the story was going and how it would end, which got me excited. Especially the visions and nightmares were an interesting idea to incorporate into the story and gave some nice character insight.
Now I want to give a bit of constructive criticism, so you can improve. The biggest issue with the story is pacing and the story structure, which you probably already know. At first it seemed more of a slice of life story with a little bit of combat and adventuring in it, later it was rushing to its conclusion and the climax felt a little bit abrupt. Im assuming you made the story up as you wrote it and didn´t have the Storyline completed from the start. Maybe an epilogue chapter would have closed the story more natural.
Still remember, Im also just a new writer so its possible that I could be wrong.
Despite that I think its a good story and I hope to see more stories from you. I wish you good luck writing them and good luck for the future.
11615441
Howdy!
I definitely agree with your criticisms. I did write it chapter to chapter and I feel like you can tell lol. Would've been a lot more focused if I had written the whole storyline first, then edited everything with all that knowledge in mind. I'll almost certainly do that with any future story I post. I also agree with your take on Skystar being militant. I kind of realized that towards the end and didn't want to make her as scared of fighting as in the first fight scene. I also feel like I probably could've gave more character development to Lucien and Cheery Star. Or at least develop and show off their characters in a more gradual and natural way.
Thanks for reading the story and taking the time to comment! I appreciate the criticism :). I'll have to check your story out sometime!
Many thanks for the story, and I believe it is the best Posada writing I've seen yet, but I do have a few criticisms, mostly about the ending. The ending was very abrupt, and I really wish we could have gotten a few more shenanigans with Lucien, but this isn't a full-sized work so I digress. I especially would have loved, like a previous commenter said, an epilogue of some kind, as the story just kind of ends without a significant payoff.
Sincerely, The biggest Posada Simp on r/equestriaatwar.
11638660
Hah! I've probably seen your comments on /r/eaw before, I love that subreddit. Also I 100% agree, I wish I would've done more with Lucien to flesh him out a bit. And I could've done the ending better, for sure. But I'm glad you enjoyed the story and my writing of Posada! She's my favorite character from EaW so hopefully I did her justice :). Thanks for reading.