An Idiot Trio vs Equestria

by Beast Out

Chapter 1: Arrival at the Hive

"Hey, wake up. We're here."

Archer awoke to Kindle shaking him awake. He yawned, rolled off the couch and put his trilby on his head.

"Kay, I'm up. Where's Dartz?" He asked dowsily.

"Hive's entrance." She answered simply. "He's got your glaive, so don't worry about grabbing it on the way out."

As Kindle spoke, she slipped her fingers into her gold colored knuckle dusters. They were made of orichalcum. Tough, dense, magic resistant and very rare. Obtaining the metal had been an ordeal and a half and was a story for another time.

"You sure we should go in armed? I don't think old Queenie would like that." She asked.

"Maybe not, but if Dartz pisses her off then I want us to be able to at least try and fight our way out. Besides, Chrysalis ain't exactly known for singing about love, puppies and freedom of speech."

Kindle nodded "True. Welp, come on, time's a wastin'!"

Dartz watched his companions exit the wagon, idly spinning an orichalcum headed sledgehammer in his telekinetic grip, he lazily turned his gaze towards Birch, the timberwolf carrying Archer's glaive in his maw, its blade also made of orichalcum.

"Give it here." He telekinetically grabbed the weapon out of the mutt's wooden fangs and floated it over to Archer, who caught it with ease. After Birch went to sleep under the carriage, they were ready.

"Let's go." Dartz started his brisk trot towards the entrance.

The trilby sporting griffin glanced at the shapeshifter. Normally Dartz would have made a salty remark about Archer's sleeping habits, but he was unusually non-chatty.

"So. You nervous?" He asked, despite knowing the answer.

"Ppffft! No! Why would I be?"

As they walked through the tunnels of the gnarly stone spire, Archer and Kindle gave the red eyed changeling a deadpan stare.

Kindle spoke up. "Come on man, ya haven't made a single snarky remark since we got here."

Dartz stared at the dragoness, his expression neutral, but his ears drooped and his wings buzzed in agitation.

"Fine." He sighed. "I am… scared. I just don't want to make a bad impression."

Archer raised an eyebrow. "Since when have you cared about what others think of you? Your life goal seems to be making as many bad impressions as possible."

The glare the griffin received was sharp enough to cut stone.

"This is different. It's gonna be my first in person interaction with other members of my species. I wanna make them think I'm at least not a total disgrace to everything changelings are. You get me?"

Kindle smiled softly and patted Dartz's back. "Yeah, I get it. I hadn't even seen a dragon till we met Magma, and I was terrified of making a fool of myself too."

Archer nodded. "Don't worry man, we got your back."

The shapeshifter didn't verbally respond to their reassurance, but he did crack a smile.

"Ahem." A gruff, feminine voice cut the moment short, causing everyone's heads to snap towards a female changeling, wearing a blue chest plate and blue armored horse shoes on her fore hooves.

"Hate to interrupt your little pow-wow, but the Queen has been made aware of your presence and wants you in the throne room."

She briefly glanced at the weapons they had with them. "I see that you are armed. A bold decision, but the Queen and the rest of the hive won't be a threat to you, so long as you… behave."

After the trio were able to calm their tap dancing hearts, the unnamed changeling led them through the winding, rapidly shifting geometry of the hive.

Numerous changelings walked and buzzed about, all with the trademark feature of holes in their limbs. None of them stopped for anything, but many stared at the newcomers as they passed by.

The soldier looked towards the newcomers, specifically Dartz and his holeless legs.

"You are… well fed"

Dartz, blinked, caught off guard by the statement. "Oh, yeah. We grew up in a Griffinberg orphanage together. We're practically siblings, lotta love to go around you know."

Archer piped up. "I couldn't help but notice that your holes are smaller than the other changelings around here."

The griffin's statement went ignored. "I see. Well then, outsiders. Feast your eyes on hive central and our greatest treasure, The Mother Tree. "

At the center of the hive was a large, leafless tree, about the size of a three story building with pitch black bark. The tree was hollow, looking as if something had burst out from the inside thanks to a hole large enough to fit a semi-truck. And in the hole, a brilliant, green, glowing crystal sphere, the size of a minotaur could be seen shining brightly.

"Shiny!"

"That's a really big tree."

"Frickin' Majestic!"

As the trio looked at the tree in awe, the armored changeling smirked at their reaction.

"If you would please pick up your jaws and follow me to the top floor."

As they walked up a winding slope, Archer frowned, as in the corner of his eye, he spotted the glow of the tree briefly dim and flicker.

As they approached the throne room, the fully armored guards crossed their spears, blocking their path.

Their guide scowled. "Smoke, Mirrors, what's the meaning of this? You know these are the ones the Queen wants to see!" She hissed.

Smoke, the guard on the left gave an equally venomous glare. "Well, Silica! If you must know, the Queen only wants to see the changeling right now! The other two aren't to meet her at the moment." Her dual toned voice buzzed with annoyance.

"My name is Dartz!"

The now named Silica turned to Kindle and Archer. "Come on. Your friend's on his own for now." Her frown never left her face.

Archer sighed. "Ok Dartz, you can do this."

Kindle nodded and smiled. "Just be yourself. Oh! And don't insult her to her face!"

A toothy smirk worked its way onto the changeling's lips. "When have I ever insulted anyone in any other way!"

As he walked into the throne room, he was greeted to the sight of THE Queen Chrysalis, sitting on her throne, looking alot like she did on the show. But since this was real she was far more intimidating. Her expression was neutral, but her eyes were taking in every bit of him, somewhere between a predator trying to figure out if he was food or not and a politician deciding if he were an asset or inconsequential.

Dartz gulped.

Finally, she smiled. "Greeting Dartz. I've been quite eager to meet you."

"H-hey." 'God, I hope the others are having a better time than I'm gonna.'

-Meanwhile-

In one of the hive nurseries. Kindle held a giggling nymph in her claws as she tickled him with the tip of her tail.

"Aren't you just the cutest!"

The nymph pouted. "I'm not cute! I'm the scariest being you'll ever meet!"

"Suuuuure you are."

Archer crawled up to her, missing his trilby and more than a few feathers. "These children are freaking hellspawn." Coincidentally, a nymph walked by wearing a headdress similar to those worn by native american chiefs.

The dragon covered the child's ears, as the young should not hear such slander. "What! But they're adorable!"

The disgruntled griffin massaged his shoulder. "You're only saying that cuz you didn't get any of the anklebiters."

Silica grinned. "You agreed to help feed them."

"You insisted"

Silica just laughed. The bitch.

Author's Note:

First (technically second) chapter out. Sorry for the wait, but between studying and lack of motivation, it wasn't getting done quickly.

So, I will be using the comic's origin for changeling, but with a slight twist you'll see next chapter. Silica will be a recuring character. In this story changeling names will mostly come from bug related terms but also terms, words and phrases related to deception, illusions, missleading and ocassionally lust.

Comments

[Derpynuke]

Will they made a changeling empire rise with ideas

[Beast Out]

11585118
Dartz will make a suggestion, and the trio will end up doing a job for Chrysalis. But what happens to the hive is mostly out of their hands/talons/claws/hooves.

[Poparakelis]

temp-ca.s3.amazonaws.com/cdn-files/1781392889169002802820230722121348sst.jpg

[Beast Out]

11646070
The warped image of sauske sends me.