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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Thanks for the chapter! Well, here I was able to deduce a few things, first, Alex, apparently, did not have a romantic relationship with any of the Mane Six, second, possibly in this universe, Alex ended up accidentally instigating Opaline to follow a dark path, or she was his student and we have a repeat of the Sunset Shimer situation. That said, so far I'm shipping Alex and Sunny.
........... why did it make me want to melt the face of a punch?
He could have done many things without the need for magic, the problem is that most of the things we have created are made to kill, although the creation of these sometimes did not have that intention, it is the bad thing about living in a world where logic can kill you. kill if you're careless, I guess he wanted to go the "safe" way first
......... I don't think the moon can create something as beautiful as space. True, its beauty is random and as chaos ends up creating harmony, a few stars placed perfectly is the equivalent of putting on the ceiling from your room the green stars that light up in a straight line. It's not to screw up your life, but the day I make a nevulosa so that the sky has some variety, I'll consider giving it a 6/10
I went and found some spelling errors in the chapter.
These were found in the Alexander awnsers the main 5's questions part of the chapter.
1."Times" should be "time".
2."with s plan." Should be "with a plan."
3."Under no circumstance should have I been allowed to get access to them do easily." Should be "Under no circumstance should have I been allowed to get access to them so easily."
4."it still contains many of my father’s discoveries form his research on ancient Equestria" change form to from
5."I didn’t manage to correct the issue that brought as here on the first place." Replace as with us.
These were found in the flash back part of the chapter
6."I set to return to my previous sit with a parting kiss on her ear." Should be "I set to return to my previous seat with a parting kiss on her ear."
7."many creatures have started discretely you migrate back to their home countries." Should be "many creatures have started to discretely migrate back to their home countries."
8."Well, I’m NOT going to tolerate those believes.” should be "Well, I’m NOT going to tolerate those beliefs.”
9."These new tendencies have already stablished themselves within the population.” should be "these new tendencies have already established themselves within the population.”
10."We all had taken it very hard, but Twilight in special was on the verge of a panic attack." Should be "We all had taken it very hard, but Twilight especially was on the verge of a panic attack." Or you could just leave it as "We all had taken it very hard, but Twilight was on the verge of a panic attack."
11."I directed my attention to the young dragon and spoke with a tankful smile" replace tankful with thankful.
These were found in the Alexander tells sunny about the main 6 part of the chapter
12."I placed my arm over her sleeping form, and gently petting her back fur" replace petting with pet.
13."the girls asked me what element would represent me the best if I had been deemed worth of it." Replace worth with worthy.
14."I thanked her while retuning the gesture," replace retuning with returning.
15."More than once she confessed me that being a princess wouldn’t have been her first choice" add a "to" between confessed and me.
16."And, between you a me, she has absolutely gorgeous, as much as she chose to deny.” replace you a me with you and me. And replace has with is.
17."Ponies had a worse time when trying to seat like humans do" replace seat with sit
18."It was a small room, with a bed which looked big enough to fit my bigger heigh, barely that is;" change heigh to height
I really enjoyed this chapter! Alex messing with the ponies and telling him about his past is fun. I really like the character interactions between sunny and Alexander and I hope he can Bond with the other girls too.
Also something awakened Alexander early? I wonder if they were friendly.
Anyways can't wait for more your doing a fantastic job!
11553985
I think I fixed them all. Thanks for pointing them out.
Why are the ponies calling their lands equestria again? Not just in this fic they did it in the show too. Sure the ponies are interacting with each other again but they never refounded the kingdom of equestria they are still 3 separate city states with different rulers.
11554112
Your welcome.
11554344
I can't tell for sure. Perhaps they were referring more to the land they shared than the kingdom they used to belong to.
Also I guess lazy writing.
I've been wondering why did you have Alexander arrive after the events of the movie were wrapping up instead of the beginning?
11554926
That was in my original plans, but after building the character and background story I thought it wouldn't make a lot of sense to have him there from the beginning. His knowledge of the past and his presence would have drastically change the movie's plot, and it wouldn't have made sense either to have him just following the ponies around without intervening.
The movie's is the G5 characters first test. I believed it was better to leave them to it and have introduce Alexander later, when plot starts to roll.
The same as many others FIM stories introduce their human character around season 2 or 3 instead of the beginning.
It's a shame because I lose some of the already scarce G5 content to work with, but I believe it was for the best.
Alex woke up JUST before the ponies managed to reunite the Unity crystals. Isn't that a bit too coincidental?
11555080
That makes sense.Cant have Alexander pointing out huge flaws In the movie. "Hey alex it's time to put the Crystal's together" "your missing the earth pony crystal sunny." "Oh"
On the note of people having their human characters arriving in later seasons I generally dont like when fics do that. Because they skip over important events. alot of great episodes happen in season 2. I mean if your a good enough writer you can do cannon episodes and change things up without your character causing issues. And add chapters of your own.
Kind of like how you did a tell your tell episode and changed stuff up. then smoothly transitioned into a original chapter.
11555413
I guess that depends how much effort you want to put in your story.
I will try to include material from everything G5 has offered, but I WILL deviate from the original content, whether is changing some events to including some entirely invented by my.
Will this cause the story to deviate a lot from the original plot? I don't know, there's only one season of the main series to take as a reference after all.
Still, I don't plan to build an alternative universe. I believe the story they have show us is interesting enough to follow.
The main problem is trying to bring TYT, MYM and the comics together without breaking the continuity.
11555462
I dont mind deviation from cannon material especially when it ignores equestrias downfall and conflicts with cannon ex: that episode where a message from past twilight was relayed from the harmony Crystals and next episode zipp was more interested then sunny the archaeological main6 fangirl. The way you mix tell your tale and make your mark has been great so far.
So what are you going to do about the alicorn princesses or is that a secret for now also what are you going to do about the magical creatures that used to live in equestria?
11555606
I can't tell you what exactly happened to them (spoilers if the current story/planned prequel), but I can assure you they are dead and buried. There's actually a scene on the upcoming chapter that might give you a hint. The idea I'm going to follow for them has already been explored in other fics, and I believe there are a reference in the comics (G4) that might support this idea. What I AM planning to work with is Sunny's alicorn powers and status. I think some very interesting scenes will come out of it.
For the rest of creatures I'm going to take a more careful approach. We still don't know if they will appear on future episodes or not. Sparky is the only example we have so far. I've already mentioned why there aren't any left in Equestria itself, but whether they still are on their home countries or not, I'll have to give it a careful thought. Everything regarding them will have to be invented by me since they aren't referred in any way as far as I remember. Mentioned, sure. But I highly doubt I'll introduce a griffon character or anything similar for now.
Also I'm gonna try and make Sparky less annoying. I don't know about you but it gets very tiresome very quickly.
11555622
Yeah g5 is anything but fanfic friendly and there is a reason sparky has been dubbed cocomelon dragon. So toning him down can only mean good things.
Do you have a plan for your fic if make your mark brings g4 ponies back?
I definitely can't wait to see what you do with sunny's alicorn powers and the status. I. Already picturing Alexander's mouth hanging open after he sees sunny turn her alicorn powers on and off!
11555809
I'll have first to see under what conditions they return. They better have a very, VERY good reason. Not just as an excuse to try to attract G4 fandom or anything the like.
In my planned story there could be a small chance for them to still be alive, but I think that would only steal the spotlight for the G5 characters.
The period between G4 and G5 is a complete mystery so technically anything could happen. But I fear that leash writing and fanservice will end up making their return redundant I that ends up been the case.
1. Good story so far
2. The spelling and grammatical errors are very offputting. Have you considered an editor?
11562823
Thanks for the comment. I'll see if I can find one. It's true the spelling mistakes can me pretty annoying. I'll take special care on future chapters and review the previous ones.