I always wanted to give this story a makeover and improve it.

That's a nice way to say you think you know better than the original author. Without even having the decency to say it to their face (and I know the proper author already knows about these two versions of their story).

nice work

11570766
I looked trough the comments and the og creator doesn’t seem to care

11570766
I was talking about my First version of this story, that I written, not the og, by smut.

I had plans to extend this story, I screwed that up in the original, now I'm starting over.

Seriously, what's up with the pictures? Is this a porn story, or a 1st-grade primer? We know what the characters look like, so it's really juvenile to put in those kiddie pictures for a hard-core smut tale. I'm sure that's also why you're getting tons of downvotes.

That, and you're portraying Sunset as this conniving, heartless, deceitful, full-on bitch who's willing to do anything for the sole purpose of getting her futa dick sucked. Riiiight. You know what, it's your story, you do what you want, but you're not accurately portraying Sunset. This character is a twisted version of herself that exists in YOUR mind, but you'll still find readers that won't have a problem with it.

As for me? Hard pass.

11572069
Geez its just the prologue. I haven't even put up the second chapter yet.

11572069
Jeez man take a chill pill its just a fanfic if you dont like it then just dislike it and ignore it

11572069
I doubt the pictures have anything to do with the downvotes. The first version only had one pic in the middle and that have 49 downvotes and 131 likes, and that version had a ton of grammar errors.

I simply use the pics for fun visuals. I'm not the only writer who does so and its not like I can throw in pics every time so a few harmless ones isn't hurting anyone.

And as for Sunset's character, she is a conniving, heartless, deceitful, full-on bitch. The fandom itself gave her the title of Queen Bitch of CHS, I didn't come up with that.

This story literally takes place long before the events of the first movie, when Sunset is a full-on bully who acts all high and mighty, like she is better than everyone else. She literally goes about blackmailing others to get what she wants and control the students, that's her literal trait to how she was. But you make it sound like I'm the first person to do something like this.

There are literally thousands of stories on this site that shows how cruel Sunset can be and how far she'll go in her bullying. I know one where she framed a student for a serious crime they didn't commit, thus getting expelled and sent to juvenile detention, all for a very petty reason.

You haven't even seen me real Sunset in this story yet. Things change in chapter 2.

Really looking forward to this one.

Don't know quite what it is, but a dominant Sunset fucking over the other girls is always something I enjoy.

That was a good first chapter goodluck with the rest of it.