The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Pone

by the Horse Writer

the Long Dark Tea-Time of the Pone

Chaos and confusion ran wild around the room, which now was a cacophony of sounds- impressively made just by four creatures, I might add. I, of course, added my own confusion to the mix.

“Okay, what? Huh?”

Oh my…

“Did you hear that, Davie? You can go home! and Flutters can get her body back!” Pinkie leaned much more on the ‘chaos’ part of the scale. Facing her pet, she excitedly added, “And you, mister, can, I don’t know, do whatever you want!”

“I suppose so, caregiver.”

“Okay, okay! Quiet down and let me explain!” Twilight tried to assert control over the situation, but to no avail.

Twilight had gotten her wish, however, when suddenly, the door creaked, silencing us all. Stepping in, a certain adolescent dragon appeared in the doorway, slurping on a milkshake.

Spike stared around for a moment at the frozen scene unfolding before him, before focusing on Pinkie, brow furrowed. “You were here all along?” he said in disbelief, laced with irritation.

Oh. We have kind of forgotten about that guy.

I tried to tell you…

***

Twilight looked over at the supplies she gathered over the last few hours. It wasn’t much, just a few Mana Holders, but it was surprisingly tough to find them. On a side note, I really should organize the basement. Someday.

Satisfied at their quality, Twilight turned her attention away from the Holders and to the oncoming operation. She was alone at the house right now, which suited her just fine. It would do no good to her concentration if someone were there.

Well, alone from ponies and dragons, at least.

Using her telekinesis, she brought the Mana Holders to the central table, setting them next to the now uncaged alligator, who was patiently waiting for her return.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

***

“So, Gummy has chaos magic, right?” Twilight spoke to the now-calmer ponies inhabiting her library. “But chaos magic is still magic. And thus, it abides by all laws of magic.” The pair/trio of ponies stared expectantly at her. “And especially the fact that it can be extracted.”

She quickly silenced the quips that attempted to rise. “I still need to work out how to extract it, but I don’t see a reason why it should be impossible.” She paused. “Either way, after extracting it, I can place it inside a Mana Holder-” At the confused faces, she elaborated, “It’s essentially a large cylinder with a crystal in it, capable of storing all kinds of magic.”

“Very creative name.” David deadpanned.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Look, there’s a reason why Magicians are Magicians and not Nomenclators.”

***

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Gummy responded. “Are you… certain this would do no harm?”

“100 percent.” She wasn’t lying- but seeing as the last time she was asked this…
Well, it’s best to hope for the best.

The main problem she had to tackle now was the extraction of the magic. As she had explained to the pair which had been there just hours ago, She was certain an extraction was possible; the ‘how’ part just eluded her at the time.

Keyword being ‘at the time’.

There, on the table, lay her solution: a paper, with a full 8-step procedure, complete with spell matrices, diagrams, and whatnot.

She anxiously glanced at it again, re-reading the lines written in it. She didn’t have to; she knew it by heart. After all, she was the one who wrote it, just hours prior. She had a lot of time while searching for those Holders.

She heavily exhaled, trying to relax. It would do no good to be stressed, to all parties involved. Alright, enough delaying it.

Twilight lit her horn.

***

“Anyways, another principle of magic is the third law of Neighton, which states ‘Spells of a certain type of magic can only be dispelled by that same type of magic’.” She recited from memory. “And as we previously established, chaos magic also abides by this rule.

“As I may remind you, Gummy caused Fluttershy and David’s condition, using what I presume was chaos magic-”

“Which means that you can’t just dispel it, right?” Pinkie chimed in. “You’ll need, like, a copious amount of chaos magic or something.”

Twilight was mildly impressed Pinkie knew such a word. “Mhm. Luckily, after the extraction, we’ll have such a ‘copious amount’.

“Now, there are still some kinks to work out, like funneling the magic, and finding the target dimension, and-”

“But you think you’ve got it.” David halted her rant before it could begin.

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Yeah. I think I’ve got it.”

***

Twilight wiped the sweat off her brow, exhaling in relief. It was tough, but it was done.

She tried not to collapse. She succeeded at that, but the exhaustion stayed. The long procedure had drained away any energy she previously had; which, thanks to the minimal sleep, wasn’t much.

Gathering her strength, she went to check the fruits of her labor.

On the table, just where it had been a few hours ago, sat a perfectly normal alligator. It blinked at her. Twilight could only assume it was grateful.

She sighed as she patted its head. “Glad that’s done with…”

And then, there was the other product, similarly important. A few dark-gray cylinders, each about the size of her foreleg, sat on the table. And, as she had cared for in the past few hours, were filled to the brim with chaos magic.

She quickly ran a test on each of the Mana Holders, checking if they all indeed contained the sought-after magic. Another exhale of relief was emitted when all the tests came out positive.

Just how long has it been anyway? she thought, checking a wall-mounted clock nearby. Her eyes widened as she saw what it had to say. It was past noon already? She had really lost track of time.

She yawned, blinking her eyes to keep them focused. Maybe it was time to retire for the night. Er… afternoon.

***

Fluttershy has a lot of plants.

You’d think caring for animals, actual living, breathing beings, would be harder than simply watering a flower. But, apparently, plants don’t tell you what they need, or when.

Animals usually don't either, but, you know…

Lucky for me, I’ve got an expert gardener living inside my head.
I won’t get into too much detail, but over the last four days -How the hell has it been only four days?- I have learned way more about gardening than I ever cared for.

The menial tasks of caring for the plants have given me time to think, however. And I was in the middle of watering a certain flower when my mind wandered.

Huh, I thought, This might be my last day on this planet.

Not the best wording ever.

You… Fluttershy began, Don’t sound very excited.

Wha- of course I’m- I stopped. “Ugh, who am I kidding,” I said out loud. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do want to go home, but, I don’t know…”

I think I understand, Fluttershy said. If I were to come to a different world, I’d- she cut herself off. Well, I’d probably be terrified at first, but after I got used to it, I’m sure it would have amazed me. I mean, Earth surely has all sorts of interesting critters. She ended with the most excitement I’ve heard from her.

I chuckled. Yeah, Earth has some weird creatures living on it. Though to me, Equestrian animals are far weirder than anything we have back home.

I sighed. Critters aren’t the thing for me, though. I mulled on it for a moment. I think it’s the people here that make me hesitant to leave. Everyone here is just so nice… I don’t want to lose it.

Mhm, Fluttershy agreed. There is a reason why I chose to live in Ponyville, of all places. She hesitated for a moment, And, um, I don’t think leaving means cutting contact. I’m sure Twilight can figure out some way to communicate.

I blinked. That… Makes sense.

And all this time I thought that I was about to say goodbye forever! Still, that is a lot to trust a single person for; and that’s assuming everything had gone well yesterday… Ugh.

Urm, I think that plant had enough water…

I shook my head, snapping out of my musings. Oh, right. The very reason I had been out in the garden was to care for the plants. And while I’m not sure of every plant’s optimal water intake, I am quite certain it isn’t ‘absolutely drenched’.

“Uh, whoops.”

***

A few hours later, we went to check on Twilight.

After a few pleasantries, she had reported that everything had, indeed, gone well. An unexceptional alligator rested on a pillow, seeming none the worse for wear. I’m sure Pinkie would be elated to hear that. Assuming she hadn’t somehow known already.

Now, the question of what happens next arose. Do we continue to the next stage of our plan? or hold it out a little more? Ultimately, the choice was up to me.

“This place has grown on me,” I said to both the corporal and incorporeal ponies, “But, I kinda miss my home… and life, and family…”

Twilight looked sheepish. “If it’s any consolation, we can do the procedure any time; though I would suggest saying your goodbyes first…”

I nodded. “So, how about… Tonight?”

***

The cloud door in front of me opened.

“Oh, hey, Flutters, Dave.” Rainbow emerged from the doorway, the hair plastered to her head signaling just when she had woken up. “‘Sup?”

“Fine,” I answered shortly. “Look, Rainbow, I'm gonna cut to it- it’s happening. Today.”

“Huh?” The Pegasus rubbed her head. “Whaddya mean ‘it’?”

“I mean that I’m going home,” I said, then added, “And you’re getting your friend back.”

Her eyes widened. “Wha- Really?” she exclaimed. “That’s awesome! for both of you!”

Oh, uh… thank you?

“Fluttershy says thanks.” I relayed. “Anyways, I just came here to say goodbye. And thank you, for teaching me how to use those.” I gestured to the wings I borrowed.

“Eh, it was nothing,” Rainbow shrugged. “Plus, you were pretty helpless then.”

She grinned when she saw my glare.

***

“I think Fluttershy and I are both grateful for that, uh, spa thing we did,” I said to the unicorn, who seemed a bit embarrassed at my gratitude. “We both needed it.”

“Oh, nonsense, darling,” Rarity waved it off. “I’ll be the first to admit I required it as well.” she said, “Though perhaps not as much as you two…”

Oh, don’t let her play herself down like that… Fluttershy told me. She often tells me how much she overworks herself.

I, as well, didn’t want to make Rarity feel bad comparing herself to us. “Hey, the fact that we’re a special case doesn’t lower you in any way, alright?”

The unicorn smiled. “I… Suppose so, darling.”

***

“Wait, sugarcube,” Applejack said confusedly, “you're leaving? tonight?”

I, too, was confused. “That’s… What I just said, yeah.”

“But ya’ just got here!” She seemed a little annoyed. “Ya’ haven’t even tasted Granny’s famous apple fritters!” Then, muttering to herself, “Ah bet your world don’t have apples half as good as Sweet Apple Acres’...”

I wasn’t sure if I was meant to hear that last one, but nevertheless, I have. “Well, I guess we have a whole day to change that, don’t we?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow, then grinned. "Huh, well you’re in luck, sugar, ‘cause Granny was jus’ makin’ some o’ them fritters for lunch! Ah’m sure you can join in on our lunch if ya’ want.”

I smiled back. “Great! I would most definitely like to.” I am pretty hungry. I guess running around town would do it.

We began to move towards the farmhouse, which luckily wasn’t far, seeing as I found her in the apple orchard beside the house. As we walked, a question came to me.

“Hey, who is this Granny person anyway? Why’s she living in your house?”

Applejack facehooved. “She’s ma’ granny. As in, grandmother.”

“Oh.”

That is her name, though.

***

“Ugh…” I groaned as I slowly plodded my way to our next destination. Applejack wasn’t kidding about her grandmother's recipe, and I might have made the mistake of eating just a tad bit more than I could handle.

I’m sorry for doing this to your body… I apologized to Fluttershy.

Well, It was very tasty… So I guess it’s alright.

I didn’t get a chance to respond, as right at that moment, a Pink blur appeared in the distance, almost inaudible shouting coming with it.

It seems my destination was coming to me.

A blink of an eye later, the blur got close enough for me to hear it. And it was just who I thought it was- And damn is she fast!

“Davie!” Pinkie shouted as she got near, “You’re leaving?!”

I was dumbfounded. “How- how did you know?”

Pinkie giggled. “My secrets are mine to keep!”

“Uh…”

Don’t question it, Fluttershy said. It’s just how Pinkie is.

I stammered. “Uh- alright…” I shook my head. “Anyways, yeah. I’m leaving tonight.”

Pinkie made the most cartoonish gasp sound I have heard. “What?! But you haven’t even gone to one of my parties yet!” She then grew a large set of puppy eyes as she got a little too much into my comfort zone. “Could you at least stay for one more day?”

I swear to god, if I stay one more day these ponies will give me diabetes. I slide backward a little in an attempt to reclaim my invaded comfort zone. “That is… a nice idea,” her eyes lit up, “but,” and back to puppy eyes, “I do need to get back to my life.”

Pinkie sighed. “Awww…” Quickly, though, her face grew resolute. “Well, guess I’ll have to do the party the next time you’ll be here!” she jumped to the air, “Oooh, I better start getting ready!”

And as quickly as she appeared, she was gone.

I watched her recede into the distance for a moment, then shook my head. She is an odd one.

Do you think there will be a next time?

I sure hope so.

***

A few hours later, I stood in front of the library’s front door.

I exhaled heavily as I stared at the door. Moment of truth…

I knocked on the door a few times out of courtesy, then opened it. Twilight should know I was coming now, right? Either way, I got inside, and-

“Oh, hello darling.”

Eep! Fluttershy called out of surprise. I was not so easily spooked, however, simply taking a surprised step backward.

“Oh, uh, hi, Rarity.” I awkwardly said. I definitely wasn’t expecting to find her here. Now paying more attention to my surroundings, I took note of all of the room’s occupants. All five of them.

“Wha-” I stammered, “What are you all doing here?”

Applejack, who was seated on a beanbag chair nearby, raised an eyebrow. “Didja really think any of us was just gonna’ miss the final goodbyes?”

“Really, do you even know any one of us?” Rainbow Dash said jokingly, seated beside Applejack.

“I… Thanks. That means a lot to me.”

Christ, what did you even do to find this kind of ponies?

Fluttershy was hesitant to answer. …They kind of found me, I suppose…

A Pink head popped out from the kitchen door. “Aaand I made a cake!” With a spring in her step, Pinkie exited the kitchen, a chocolate cake sitting on her back. “Ta-Da!” she exclaimed, proudly lifting the cake in her hooves.

She then turned to me. “Think of it as memorabilia from your stay here!” she turned thoughtful. “Well, you wouldn’t be taking it with you, so it’s really memory-abilia, plus we’re going to eat it now, I think, so it's non-permanent,” She inhaled sharply. I guess even her lungs have a limit. “So think of it as non-permanent memory-abilia!”

I was stunned. Again. “Um… Thanks? I guess?” It was then that I remembered why I came here, and to who. “Hey, where’s Twilight? I mean, this is her house, after al-”

And in perfect comedic timing, the door opened, and in came the purple unicorn I had just mentioned. “Oh, hi girls,” she said, halting in the doorway, “I see you’re all here.”

I decided to try my luck. “Hey, where’s my million dollars?”

What?

“Nevermind.”

Twilight looked at me oddly, then shook her head, getting inside, “I’m sorry I had to go, but there was this annoying errand I just had to do.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, darling,” Rarity said, “I think we all had a nice time, mingling before the main event.”

Rainbow groaned. “Ugh, don’t put it that way. This isn’t one of your fancy-schmancy 'gatherings’.”

The group chuckled in response. Rainbow just looked around confusedly. “What?”

“Nothing,” Pinkie said shortly, “Now can we eat the cake?”

It seems we had all been in consensus about that, as a few minutes later, I found myself eating some of the best confections I ever ate. It was a nice few moments to just- not think of anything important. No question of what was coming next, no need to chase anything. Just peace.

Half an hour later, after we all had our fill of ‘mingling’, we went on to the ‘main event’. Twilight went to the basement, returning a moment later with a few of the creatively named Mana Holders.

We had gathered in a somewhat-disorganized half-circle, Twilight in the middle, doing something to the Holders. The expression on everyone’s face ranged from grins to bitter smiles of farewells.

Twilight turned from her work. “Everything seems good.”

It was time.

It wasn’t just about me, however. Are you ready?

Uh… Fluttershy was hesitant, Yes. Yes, I am.

Something about her hesitancy felt off to me. We don’t have to do this now if you don't want to, I assured her.

No, no, it’s alright, She said, I mean, I do kind of want my body back…

I smiled. Me too.

I nodded at Twilight. “Alright. We’re ready.”

As I took a step towards her, a chorus of goodbyes came from behind me.

“Thanks for dropping by, sugarcube.”
“Be well, darling!”
“See you later, alligator!”
“Have fun being wingless!”

I turned back towards them. I should really stop being surprised at stuff like that. “Um, thanks. And farewell.” I gave a meek little wave and turned to Twilight. I nodded at her. She nodded back, then closed her eyes in concentration.

For what might be the last time I would ever see it, Twilight lit her horn.

Goodbye, David.

Goodbye. Hopefully see you soon?

As light began engulfing me, a thought occurred. “Twilight, so help me, if you don’t find a way to communicate with me, I will track you down, and I will annoy the hell out of you.”

Twilight grinned and rolled her eyes. “Har-har, very funny. Now git.”

And in a flash, I was gone.

Comments

[Status L]

Time for the epilogue.

[Poparakelis]

So, it ended?

[the Horse Writer]

11650198

11650214
Woops, fixed
Thanks!

[Goldfur]

Aww! I was hoping for a surprise ending, like the separation of Dave and Fluttershy works but not quite as expected. e.g. She gets her body back but finds herself looking at a copy of herself -- Flutterdave.