Hearth's Warming, AP Class

by Lets Do This

Your Team is Cordially Invited...

In the top room of the snow-frosted Advanced Projects tower, adjoining the Library Annex building in Canterlot, the five other unicorns in the AP group were worried as they gathered around the main worktable for breakfast. Not worried in a bad sense really, just a little uncertain what was up. They could tell Twilight Sparkle was forcing herself not to grin ear-to-ear. It was written all over the lavender unicorn's face.

Everypony tried to act natural as they sat down at the table, and hoofed round the waffles and syrup. Then the ponies looked at each other. And Starlight Glimmer finally broke the ice.

"Whaaattt...?" she asked, smiling across the table at Twilight.

Twilight proudly held up a message scroll she'd been reading. "This just came. It's from Princess Celestia! And she's requested the six of us put on the most important play of the holiday season: the Hearth's Warming Eve pageant."

"Seriously, Twilight?" Sunset Shimmer stared. "That's great! You gals know how big a deal this is, even for a group like ours? It's like, the highlight of the festivities in the Royal City."

"Oh yeah, tell me about it." Starlight nodded. "We have our own pageant in Sire's Hollow, same as every other city and town. But from what I hear none of them can compare with the Canterlot production. Princess Celestia pulls out all the stops for it. And ponies travel from all over Equestria just to be here for it."

"Uhh... I don't know." Moondancer looked queasy. "I'd be nervous, getting up on stage in front of a crowd that size..."

"C'mon, Moon-Moon," Sunset chided. "It'll be fun! And we'll all be in it together. A team, just like we always are. We'll back each other up."

"I guess so, but..."

"The Great and Upwardly-Mobile Lady Trixie Luna Moon --" Here it was unclear which Trixie was flaunting more, the new title granted her by Princess Luna, or the embroidered silk magician's cape she'd bought to go with it. "-- will be honored to present her awesome performance skills at such a prestigious occasion." Then Trixie giggled. "Seriously? An audience that size? You couldn't keep Trixie away with a stick!"

"Just as long as you remember," Sunset warned, "it's a re-enactment of Equestrian history. It's not the Trixie Luna Moon Show."

"Well, it ought to be," Trixie huffed. "On any stage, there's just one star performer. And that's moi!"

"Simmer down, Your Grace." Starlight nudged her. "And let Twilight tell it. Like I know she's itching to."

Twilight beamed. "I'm just so excited! It's a chance for us to do something really fun together. While at the same time, fulfilling our roles as the Heroes of Equestria, representing all the pony tribes."

"Yeah, I was gonna ask about that," said Moondancer. "The Princess does remember we're all unicorns, right? Isn't that going to be a little strange, us playing roles normally filled by earth ponies and pegasi?"

Twilight nodded and held up the scroll. "Celestia thought of that as well. And she says here, ahem: I feel comfortable the six of you will be able to reflect the true spirit of the season, and demonstrate that Equestria's heroes represent the interests and concerns of all the pony tribes."

"Well, hey, I'm in!" said Starlight. "It sounds a blast, no matter which tribe I end up representing."

"Count me in too," agreed Sunset. Even Moondancer nodded gamely.

"What about you, Tempest?" Twilight asked her. "You haven't said anything yet."

Tempest Shadow raised an eyebrow. "If we're doing this, Twilight, I'm in. You know that. But somepony's going to have to fill me in on the backstory here. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of time for pageants, of any sort."

"Yeah," Grubber added. "The boss didn't really go in for all that jingle-jangle stuff much." Then he quickly shut up as an iron-armored hoof pressed firmly and painfully on his foot.

"It's a reenactment," said Moondancer, in her classroom-recitation voice, "of the legend of the Hearth's Warming miracle. Which convinced the original three Kingdoms to put aside their differences and come together as a united Equestria, living in peaceful harmony under the rule of the alicorn Princesses, Celestia and Luna."

"But," Sunset added, "it's also a beloved holiday tradition. And there aren't that many things you can honestly call 'beloved' with a straight face anymore. When I was a filly, my parents would take me to see the Canterlot pageant every year. And I loved all the characters, and the costumes, and the effects, and -- oh my gosh! If I hadn't been so set on being Princess Celestia's star pupil, I might have gone on stage myself, just from watching this thing."

"Well, Sunset," Trixie sneered, "sounds like there might just be hope for you after all."

Sunset ignored her. "I call earth ponies! In particular I want to play Chancellor Puddinghead. She was my favorite. She gets to spout a bunch of completely ahistorical nonsense, and do pratfalls, and basically keeps the audience in stitches. They say a good Puddinghead can save any performance of the pageant. I'd love the chance to do that."

"Really?" Moondancer resettled her glasses and stared at her. "You wouldn't mind ponies laughing at you?"

"Are you kidding me? Nopony takes Puddinghead seriously! It's all part of the show. She lampoons thickheaded officialness and insolence of office. It's what her character's all about. And," she added, throwing a hoof around Moondancer's shoulders, "who better to play Smart Cookie, Puddinghead's secretary and right-hoof pony, than our very own Moondancer here?"

"Are you sure?" Moondancer asked. "What if I screw up, or forget my lines, or freeze up, or --?"

"You'll do fine, Moon-Moon! You never have any problem memorizing stuff. And if you do flub a line, it's no big deal. I'll be on stage with you the whole time. I'll just pull one of Puddinghead's signature gags and have everypony laughing. Nopony will notice. After all, everypony's there just to have a good time and celebrate the holiday, right?"

"Well, okay. Plus, I can do some research on earth-pony history, so we'll be able to present their culture with authenticity."

"That's the spirit!" Sunset elbowed her shoulder. "Spoken like a natural Smart Cookie."

Moondancer winced, and managed a small smile.

Tempest by contrast was looking dour. "I hope," she said dryly, "I won't be expected to play Princess Platinum, or anything like that."

"Actually," Twilight said, "I thought you'd be perfect as Commander Hurricane, leader of the pegasi. After all, the pegasi of that era were highly regimented and militaristic."

"Hmm." Tempest nodded. "That does sound more my speed." She came to attention and rapped the chestplate of her mage-armor with a hoof. "We who are about to die, salute you! Return with your shield or on it!" She smirked. "Or something like that, right?"

"We'll... work on that," Twilight allowed.

"Huh!" Trixie pouted. "And I suppose Acting Princess Twilight gets to play Princess Platinum herself?"

"Actually, Trixie," Twilight said, "I thought you might be best for that. Being our newest member of the gentry and all."

"Oo-oooh!" Trixie brightened up immediately. "Well, of course! The Great and Powerful Lady Trixie shall present a dazzling Princess of the Unicorns!"

Twilight forced back a laugh. "I've always preferred Clover the Clever myself. It's said Clover was so diligent and creative a mage, he basically made Star Swirl's reputation! But of course, that's ridiculous," she added quickly. "Everypony knows Star Swirl was a genius all on his own."

Moondancer looked like she was about to say something, then thought twice of it and kept her mouth shut.

But then Twilight sighed. "Thinking about it though, I realized it would make more sense for Starlight to play Clover. After all, Starlight, you're my Minister of Magic. So you'd be perfect for it."

"Well sure! I'd be honored." Starlight nodded. "I've always liked Clover in the pageant anyways. He puts up with so much, and then his magic basically saves the day at the end."

"It was a toss-up," Twilight agreed, "between you and Moondancer for who'd play Clover."

Moondancer shrugged. "Works for me. I mean if it's researching spells then I'm your pony, no question. But casting them? Starlight's way better at that than I am."

"The Great and Highly-Respected Princess Platinum approves!" Trixie grabbed Starlight in a tight hug with a hoof. "After all, her Regal Highness simply cannot be without her right-hoof mage and helper-pony. We'll knock 'em dead, bestie!"

"Only if I can still breathe..." gasped Starlight, then smiled as Trixie relaxed her grip.

"But Twilight," Tempest said, "doesn't that leave you with..."

Twilight nodded. "Private Pansy of the pegasi." She shrugged resignedly. "It's okay. I'll be so busy organizing and managing this thing, it'll be good for me to have a lighter role to play."

"Well," Tempest said, "as long as you're okay with that."

"It's... okay, I suppose... I mean... I guess..."

Tempest's armored hoof smacked the table.

"Is that backsliding I hear?" she growled, her snout inches from Twilight's. "Get a hold of yourself, Private! Or I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination! Drop and give me twenty!"

Then Tempest smirked. "What, too much?"

Twilight was staring at her, slack-jawed. "You might be better at this than I thought." Recovering, she shook her head. "And I figured Spike and Grubber might together take on the role of the Narrator of the Legend."

"But Twilight," Spike said, "isn't the Narrator usually one character?"

"Usually. But I figured we'd divide up the narration between the two of you. Or have you play it straight, with Grubber acting as a comic foil."

Tempest eyed the hedgehog doubtfully. "That sounds about right for him."

"Eh." Grubber shrugged willingly. "I'm a hench-hog. Just tell me where to stand and what to say and I'm in, gals."

"Great," Twilight said. "So I think that settles who's playing whom. Now we just need to find out where and when, and..."

As she unrolled the scroll further, an enclosed note fell out of it. Spike snatched the scrap of parchment before it could hit the floor and passed it it her. Twilight took it with her magic and read it over quickly.

And looked uncomfortable.

"Oooh... sorry, girls. I completely missed this before. It looks like the Princess had some suggestions for which of us might be right for which roles. She must not have wanted this in the text of the official request."

"And, by suggestions," Sunset observed, "we mean royal commands?"

"Not necessarily..." Twilight read from the note. "My Dear Twilight: while I would never second-guess your own choices for the roles for this play, if you happen to need some advice..."

Twilight looked up from the note. "Celestia did mention she was hoping to persuade Luna to attend, as part of Luna's efforts to reintegrate in modern pony society. So I think we should try to accommodate any suggestions she has."

"Okay, then," Starlight said. "Who does she suggest?"

"Hmm..." Twilight scanned the note quickly. "Some of these are the same as what we came up with. Like Sunset as Puddinghead, and Tempest as Commander Hurricane. And what do you know, Lady Trixie as Princess Platinum!"

"Her Majestic Solar Highness has excellent taste and decision-making skills. Trixie has always thought so."

"As for the rest..." Twilight looked up from the list. "Sorry, Starlight, it looks like the Princess feels you might be a better choice as Smart Cookie."

"Oh! Well, that's okay. Like I said, I'm happy with anything."

"Huh! I take it all back." Trixie crossed her forehooves. "Her Royal Highness wouldn't know casting if she was flank-deep in a trout stream."

"And Moondancer," Twilight went on, "she thinks you might be best for the role of Private Pansy."

"Really? Oh..." Moondancer looked worriedly across at Tempest. "I guess that's okay. It means fewer lines to learn, right?"

"And me..." Twilight looked troubled. "She thinks I should play Clover the Clever."

"That's good, isn't it?" Starlight said. "You did say you'd prefer to be Clover."

"Yeah. It's just..." Twilight eyed Trixie doubtfully. Then she shook her head. "Whatever, we can make it work. Somehow."

"Absolutely," Sunset agreed. "We're a team, no matter which roles we have. We'll get it done together."

"Uh, sure..." Moondancer looked doubtful. "I suppose I should switch my research to the pegasi? Study their history instead? Or maybe I'll just do a survey of all three tribes, come up with useful cultural notes for all of us. Things to keep in mind as we rehearse."

"Sounds like a plan," Sunset agreed.

Starlight nodded. "And I can work on a glamour spell. To allow us to look like earth-ponies or pegasi as needed, while we're on stage. Or should we use practical costumes? I wouldn't want the other tribes accusing us of cultural appropriation, or horn-washing, or the like."

"It should be okay," Twilight said. "They know who we are. And it's important for us to properly represent the characters we're portraying."

"Her Grace the Lady Trixie will be pleased to offer guidance on stage presence and projection. Plus critique of costuming. We must look and sound our best for a performance of this magnitude."

"Uhh, thanks Trixie..." Twilight said. "And Tempest --"

"Don't worry, Twilight," Tempest muttered, frowning in Trixie's direction. "You can count on me." Then she eyed Moondancer unreadably. "Just give me my lines and I'll learn them. And give Grubber his too, and I'll make sure he learns them."

"Heh! That's for sure," Grubber added with a grin. "The boss knows how to motivate learning."

"Uhh..." Moondancer looked ill. "That's good to know."

"O...kay then," Twilight said uncomfortably. "Let me just read through the rest of this, and then I'll look into booking the Royal Audience Hall for some practice run-throughs. And Spike, we should send a note to Cheese Sandwich, see if he's available to manage the stage and props for us. I know he'd do a great job. And then there's getting copies of the scripts, and arranging for an orchestra, and oh my gosh..."

With her magic, Twilight snatched the quill Spike had already picked up to take notes, and began hastily scribbling a checklist of reminders on the scroll, muttering to herself under her breath.

The rest of the group looked at each other uneasily. Somehow, the entire venture was feeling a little less exciting than before. Something felt off, definitely.

But nopony spoke up. As Twilight had said, they could make it work. Somehow...

Comments

[Wild Stallion]

"Well, it ought to be," Trixie huffed. "On any stage, there's just one star performer. And that's moi! "

I know who you're playing. Princess Platinum.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask about that," said Moondancer. "The Princess does remember we're all unicorns, right? Isn't that going to be a little strange, us playing roles normally filled by earth ponies and pegasi?"

The unicorns wanted an all unicorn cast for this play. Recruiting you was Celestia's best idea for revenge.

In particular I want to play Chancellor Puddinghead. She was my favorite. She gets to spout a bunch of completely ahistorical nonsense, and do pratfalls, and basically keeps the audience in stitches. They say a good Puddinghead can save any performance of the pageant. I'd love the chance to do that."

Somewhere EQG Pinkie Pie is crying tears of joy and pride.

"That's the spirit!" Sunset elbowed her shoulder. "Spoken like a natural Smart Cookie."

Moondancer winced, and managed a small smile.

Sounds like there's a story there.

"Actually," Twilight said, "I thought you'd be perfect as Commander Hurricane, leader of the pegasi. After all, the pegasi of that era were highly regimented and militaristic."

Sounds like a great fit!

"Oo-oooh!" Trixie brightened up immediately. "Well, of course! The Great and Powerful Lady Trixie shall present a dazzling Princess of the Unicorns!"

Called it!

Twilight forced back a laugh. "I've always preferred Clover the Clever myself. It's said Clover was so diligent and creative a mage, he basically made Star Swirl's reputation! But of course, that's ridiculous," she added quickly. "Everypony knows Star Swirl was a genius all on his own."

Moondancer looked like she was about to say something, then thought twice of it and kept her mouth shut.

You'd better not be about to disrespect Starswirl. My stallion gets nothing but hate for implementing the same polices Twilight supported by the end of her reign, and at least he was consistent on the matter.

"The Great and Highly-Respected Princess Platinum approves!" Trixie grabbed Starlight in a tight hug with a hoof. "After all, her Regal Highness simply cannot be without her right-hoof mage and helper-pony. We'll knock 'em dead, bestie!"

Always the stagehand, never the lead. Not that she would ever want it any other way of course.

Twilight nodded. "Private Pansy of the pegasi." She shrugged resignedly. "It's okay. I'll be so busy organizing and managing this thing, it'll be good for me to have a lighter role to play."

You are pretty shy. Although personally, I would swap roles with Moon Dancer. It would seem to fit better.

"Is that backsliding I hear?" she growled, her snout inches from Twilight's. "Get a hold of yourself, Private! Or I'll have you court-martialed for insubordination! Drop and give me twenty!"

Then Tempest smirked. "What, too much?"

No I think that works.

"Not necessarily..." Twilight read from the note. "My Dear Twilight: while I would never second-guess your own choices for the roles for this play, if you happen to need some advice..."

I mean you clearly don't though so...

Twilight looked up from the note. "Celestia did mention she was hoping to persuade Luna to attend, as part of Luna's efforts to reintegrate in modern pony society. So I think we should try to accommodate any suggestions she has."

Why? Seriously why?

"As for the rest..." Twilight looked up from the list. "Sorry, Starlight, it looks like the Princess feels you might be a better choice as Smart Cookie."

Does Starlight look like a Smart Cookie to you?

"Huh! I take it all back." Trixie crossed her forehooves. "Her Royal Highness wouldn't know casting if she was flank-deep in a trout stream."

That's pretty funny.

"Yeah. It's just..." Twilight eyed Trixie doubtfully. Then she shook her head. "Whatever, we can make it work. Somehow."

But why bother? You know your group better than Celestia.

Starlight nodded. "And I can work on a glamour spell. To allow us to look like earth-ponies or pegasi as needed, while we're on stage.

Sounds pretty smart to me.

Or should we use practical costumes?

Why would that be a issue?

I wouldn't want the other tribes accusing us of cultural appropriation, or horn-washing, or the like."

"Hey I'll have you know that washing things by horn is a perfectly legitimate line of employment!" Soapy Bubbles: Unicorn Maid.

"It should be okay," Twilight said. "They know who we are. And it's important for us to properly represent the characters we're portraying."

Indeed.

And Spike, we should send a note to Cheese Sandwich, see if he's available to manage the stage and props for us. I know he'd do a great job.

Oh yeah! We're getting the band back together!

The rest of the group looked at each other uneasily. Somehow, the entire venture was feeling a little less exciting than before. Something felt off, definitely.

That'll happen whenever Celestia's massive snozzle is in play.

[Melody Song]

Something does indeed feel off. I blame Celestia. I know it's likely not intentional but she might be psyching them out a little bit, it's just a play. It's important to the ponies, of course, but in the end it is just a performance