Cloak and Bragger

by shadowdemon137

The Return

“Hey Spike, do you know where ‘Mythical Powers’ is?” The purple unicorn stopped her writing for a second, scratching her head with the feathery top of the pen.

“I’ve got it!” answered a green and purple baby dragon, running into the next room, out of sight. He returned with a medium sized book and handed it to the unicorn. The book became enveloped in a purple hue and started flipping through by itself as the unicorn looked for the section she needed.

Spike went and grabbed a feather duster, getting ready to do his chores. “Pretty quiet today, eh Twilight?” he said, dusting off some shelves.

The unicorn nodded, levitating her pen again and scribbling on her scroll. “It sure is. I’m actually pretty happy it’s quiet. It allows me to study in peace.”

Spike picked up a couple of strewn books and started to climb a ladder to return them. “I kinda wish something would happen though. Y’know, so it’s not as boring?”

“Make way!” came a voice from outside, soon followed by a crash of the front door swinging open. Spike stumbled off of the ladder with the books landing around him.

Twilight Sparkle turned her head, putting her pen down on the stand. “Snips, Snails, what’s going on?”

The blue stout unicorn jumped up and down feverishly. “Haven’t you heard the news?” he responded.

Twilight looked at Snips curiously as Spike came over to join the conversation. “No, I haven’t,” she said. “What happened?”

“Snails, how about you tell them?” said Snips.

The tall orange unicorn gave a slight chuckle. “The Great and Powerful Trixie has returned!”

Twilight and Spike gasped, remembering how much the azure unicorn boasted about her powers and how Snips and Snails brought an Ursa Minor to Ponyville to see if her boasting was true.

“Yeah,” said Snips. “And she’s here to apologize!”

Spike shook his head quickly at the thought of Trixie actually apologizing. He finally had to sit down, with Twilight having a speechless expression on her face.

“It’s true,” said Snails. “Come on, let’s go!”

Twilight and Spike, both dumbfounded at the thought, decided that they had to see this spectacle with their own eyes and followed the two young colts out of the library towards the main square.

-----

Twilight and Spike headed towards the Main Square, the sun shining its beautiful rays on the town. Many other ponies heard about the return of Trixie, and were either gossiping with others or running towards the square to see the boastful unicorn.

“Hey Twilight!”

Twilight looked up behind her and saw two pegasi flying towards her.

“Hey Rainbow. Hey Fluttershy. Did you hear the news?”

The blue pegasus nodded, swishing her rainbow tail around. “I heard it from Snips and Snails, and so I got Flutter here to come along.”

The yellow pegasus landed and walked alongside Twilight, hiding one of her eyes with her long pink mane. “Umm... Do you think Trixie is actually going to apologize? I mean, she is a little boastful, I guess.”

“I honestly don’t know Fluttershy,” said Twilight. “I thought we saw the last of her when the Ursa came to town. I’m just as surprised as any of you.”

“Well, she better not be saying this just to boast some more,” responded Rainbow, “or else I’m going to showcase my latest move that will knock her horn off!” Rainbow proceeded to do a couple back flips in the air to show off.

“Rainbow, you shouldn’t respond to boasting with more boasting,” Twilight said, giving the pegasus a stern look. “It just causes more problems.”

“Umm... Girls?” Fluttershy muttered.

“Oh yeah?” Rainbow said. “Well, she’s one big problem.”

“And your boasting will cause more problems,” Twilight replied, dodging an ecstatic mint unicorn running alongside a cream-colored mare.

“Girls?” Fluttershy tried her best to get their attention.

“Are you calling me a problem too?” Rainbow got straight into Twilight’s face.

“No, I’m saying you could cause more problems.”

“That means you are calling me a problem!”

“Girls!”

Both ponies stopped and looked at Fluttershy, who quickly hid herself behind her mane again.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered. “I just wanted to inform you that we are here.”

Twilight turned her head to see that they indeed arrived. Many ponies were crowding the square, eagerly anticipating the awaited news. Some merchant ponies were even selling merchandise made on-the-spot for this occasion. In front of the crowd stood a small mobile house, with a brick-red roof and a sign of a moon and two stars hanging on the side.

Twilight proceeded to the front of the crowd, followed by Fluttershy and Rainbow. She saw three of her friends already waiting for the show and headed for them.

“Hey girls,” said Twilight.

The white unicorn turned her head and smiled. The golden sun hat she made shone in the sun’s rays. “Hello Twilight. I think the show is about to start.”

“Has anypony actually seen Trixie yet?” Twilight asked, walking to the white unicorn’s side.

“Not t’my knowledge,” replied the farm pony in the middle, fixing the Stetson hat on top of her head. “I just want to see her actually apologize for boasting so much in the past, not t’mention making a fool of me.”

“Now Applejack,” the designer said to the farmer. “I thought you put that dreadful memory behind you?”

“Oh, and like you did, Rarity?” Applejack retorted.

“Well, I most certainly am over the whole charade.”

“An’ yet you’re here, instead of designin’ all day long!”

“Girls, girls, girls!” replied the pink pony, appearing randomly out of Rarity’s hat, startling the unicorn. “You should be happy Trixie is apologizing! I mean, c’mon! It’s Trixie!”

“Pinkie Pie is right,” Fluttershy muttered. “Be happy.”

“Easy for you to say,” mumbled Applejack.

“Shh!” Spike said, riding on Twilight’s back. “I think it’s starting.”

The six ponies turned their attention towards the stage, noticing that it was getting darker around them.

‘Hmm, seems like she’s got more tricks up her sleeve,’ thought Twilight to herself, before her head filled with a voice coming from the stage.

“Welcome everypony!” The voice sounded through the crowd, clear and crisp. “You are in the presence of a pony who has traveled far and wide across Equestria, battled countless monsters and criminals, and spent years training to be the best unicorn in all of Equestria! Please welcome, the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

As soon as the voice stopped, the trailer that was in front of the crowd opened up to make what appeared to be a stage. Fireworks shot out from the newly-made stage, cracking like a crunchy leaf. Lights flickered all over the stage, and fanfare could be heard clear as day. A mist exploded onto the stage, only to disappear just as fast, and inside the mist appeared Trixie, sporting her purple starry cape and hat. A cheer from the audience replaced the dying fanfare, allowing the unicorn to soak in all the attention.

Rainbow opened her wings and prepped herself to pounce. “Why that little...”

“Easy Rainbow,” said Applejack, grabbing Rainbow’s tail with her mouth. “She is a boaster. She needs a great intro.”

“Why hello to all of my faithful admirers,” Trixie exclaimed. “And to those who aren’t faithful,” she gave a short glimpse to Twilight and her friends before reverting her gaze, “Welcome. As you may have heard, I have come, not to boast about my amazing powers and truly awesome storytelling, but to apologize. After I left Ponyville to continue my quest of self-proclamation, I thought about everything that had happened to me before.” She trotted around the stage, speaking as if she were giving another performance. “I have realized that what I’ve done is wrong, and I finally understand that I have hurt people in the past.”

“Most definitely,” Rarity replied.

Trixie glanced at Rarity with a half-caring look, then continued. “So now, before this crowd, I shall do the biggest, most dramatic performance I have ever done in my entire life. I shall apolo-”

“Maxie! What in Celestia’s name are you doing?” Another cloud of mist suddenly appeared, revealing a second Trixie on the stage, giving the first Trixie a hard stare.

The crowd gasped at the appearance of this new Trixie, followed closely by muttered chatter. Nopony could explain what was going on, not even Twilight.

“Trixie, what are you doing?” muttered the first Trixie.

“What is Trixie doing?!” the second Trixie exclaimed, inching closer to the first Trixie. “The Great and Powerful Trixie was out getting supplies for her adventures, when she came back to see that somepony had opened her stage and was performing without Trixie!”

Rainbow flew onto the stage, hovering above the two Trixies. “Wait wait wait... I thought we were going to hear someone apologize? What is all this?”

“APOLOGIZE?!” The second Trixie glared at the first one. “The Great and Powerful Trixie never apologizes, unless it is to help her performing credit. This is not the case.”

“Then,” Applejack said. “What in the hay is going on here?”

The first Trixie chuckled. “I apologize for confusing everyone. Allow me to introduce myself.”

The first Trixie spun in place, covering herself in her cloak. The bundled cloak then hovered, spinning and flashing bright lights all around. One final bright flash covered the stage, blinding the crowd for a second, then it disappeared. Standing where the first Trixie stood was a stallion, jet-black with a short sapphire mane, a long tail, and a cutie mark of a cloak with lights surrounding it. His cape turned as black as his coat, and the purple hat on top of his head disappeared, revealing his gleaming silver eyes. He took a stance, as if he just performed a legendary trick in front of Princess Celestia herself.

“I am Maxie,” the stallion responded, his earthen voice resonating throughout the crowd. “I am the big brother of Trixie. We are traveling around Equestria, doing shows and performing amazing feats for all the ponies to see and cheer for. We were stopping by Ponyville, and I had heard that Trixie had boasted a little into trouble, so I was trying to cure some bad mojo in the town by apologizing in her steed.”

“So, what is your talent exactly?” a pony in the crowd asked.

“As you have just seen,” he swooped his hoof towards Trixie. “I can take the appearance of anypony and anything.”

“Oh really?” Rainbow said, still hovering above the two stage ponies. “How about you show us something else?”

“Excellent suggestion,” he said, sounding like a stage performer. “Want to be my assistant?”

“Uhh... Sure,” Rainbow said, landing on the stage in front of Maxie.

Maxie walked around Rainbow, taking notice of every detail and curve of the blue pegasus. When he went around a full 360 degrees, he whipped his cape around his body, and disappeared within the blackness. A flash went off, and when it dimmed, there on the stage stood another Rainbow Dash. Rainbow, flabbergasted at the impostor, stood speechless on the stage.

Maxie responded to everyone’s surprise in Rainbow’s voice. “As you can hear and see,” he opened his wings and flew up off the stage, hovering over the crowd. “I can do everything that the other pony can do, even if I couldn’t do it in my regular state. Whether it be flying,” he landed on the stage and gave a bright flash, revealing Applejack within the light. “Lassoin’,” he pulled out a lasso and roped an apple from a tree, grabbing it with his mouth. Another bright flash went off, and Rarity appeared. “Or designing,” he used his magic to make the curtains hanging above the stage into a magnificent dress, which he displayed with no delay. One final flash went off, and Maxie returned to his original state.

The crowd cheered at these amazing feats, some even throwing roses onto the stage. Twilight trotted up onto the stage, as amazed as everypony else was.

“That is certainly amazing feats of magic,” Twilight said. “But why don’t you have your own show? And why are you with Trixie?”

“You have much to learn Twilight Sparkle,” Maxie said.

Twilight stood astounded at how he knew her name. “How did you...”

“Twilight,” Maxie responded, smiling at her. “In order to take the appearance of somepony,” he disappeared inside his cloak and came back out in the guise of Twilight, “You’ve got to know about that pony.”

Twilight sat down, dumbfounded at this magic. She never would have believed you could take the form of somepony else, let alone perform feats that only that pony could do.

“However,” he said, turning back into his former self. “I can’t do everything that the other pony could accomplish; specifically speaking, I can’t do actions that require lots of power or magic, such as Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom or Celestia’s and Luna’s raising of the sun and moon.”

“Now, to answer your questions,” he exclaimed. “I am on the road with my sister to see and study how stage performing works, and to try and solve any problems she has brought with her to each town. The reason I don’t have a show of my own is because, as my talent shows, I often hide in the crowd away from all the attention. I don’t usually boast or stage perform unless I have a reason, such as now to explain who I am.”

“How long are ya’ll stayin’ here?” Applejack said, dusting off her hat which had fallen off in astonishment.

“We only came to Ponyville to stop for supplies and a possible apology,” Maxie glanced at Trixie for a response, but only got a scoff from the proud mare. “We shall be leaving tomorrow at dawn. If there are no more questions, we shall be taking our leave.”

At the response of a silent crowd, Maxie and Trixie left the stage, folding it back into the small caravan. Trixie left to get more supplies from the town while Maxie went to Twilight and her friends.

“I have heard from Trixie that you girls are the ones who got the horn of the bull?” Maxie asked, trotting up to the six ponies.

“Yeah, what about it?” Applejack walked up to Maxie and crossed her front legs.

“Well, I know that Trixie will not learn how to apologize until much later in her life,” he said, shuffling his hooves in embarrassment. “So, I came to apologize for her.”

“I appreciate your offer, but if it’s not comin’ from Trixie, then it ain’t sincere.”

“AJ,” Twilight retorted. “At least say thanks.”

“Sorry Twi,” she turned around and confronted the unicorn. “But if that pony is too boastful to even apologize for her wrong doin’, then it doesn’t sound right comin’ from another.”

Applejack trotted off, followed closely by the other four ponies. Twilight stood in place, a concerned look swept across her face.

“They don’t trust me.”

She turned her head around and saw that Maxie stood right next to her.

“I wouldn’t say that,” she replied, feeling his strong aura pulsating in the air. She turned her head back to watch the other ponies walk off.

“It’s pretty obvious Twilight. I tried to apologize twice, and they still won’t accept it.”

Maxie looked down at the ground, sorrow in his eyes. “I love my sister, but she’s naive in life and gets herself into so much trouble. I usually have to resolve these problems, but sometimes the pain she brings is too strong for even the most forgiving of ponies to understand.”

Twilight turned her head back and put her hoof onto Maxie’s shoulder. “It’s alright Maxie. I forgive her and respect your trust towards your sister.”

Maxie looked up at Twilight, smiling through soft eyes. “Thank you so much Twilight. It really makes me feel wonderful hearing you say that. I have to go now, so if you’ll excuse me.”

He gave Twilight a hug, and walked off towards the caravan. She watched him go off, amazed at the power and grace he carried himself with. After he disappeared from view, she proceeded home to continue her studies.


Comments

[abandoned2123]

While grammatically correct, your prose felt very 'wooden' at times. It felt like a young reader's novel at times with how blunt everything was moving. The pacing was fine, but the writing feels... forced. It's hard to describe, really. I think that the matter could be easily fixed if you were to pepper your story with imagery and descriptions.

[shadowdemon137]

700745
I'm writing this fanfic in the prose of feeling like an episode. It will naturally feel childish to read, since it's made in the sense kids would read it. I thank you for the criticism :)

[abandoned2123]

700767
Ah, I see! Good on you for trying out a different style!
Might I suggest reading some older fairy tales or short stories though? There's a certain way that children's authors pull in their readers, and that's through a vibrant use of language, even if it is a tad simplistic. It is difficult though, so I wish you the best of luck.

[shadowdemon137]

700782
I will try that, thank you. Also, this is only part one out of two. I just need to finish part two.

[Woolytop]

*the part where you realize spike and Trixie are making the exact same facial expression in their tag icons.*
On topic: I'm interested in seeing how this turns out.