A Changeling's Heart

by BlueHeartTattoo

Canterlot

Those month-long missions outside of the cave proved to be a modest distraction for me. It gave me enough things to focus on other than the depressing memories of home and its slow decline to nothingness. And pretending to be someone to drain love from those around you is the closest thing to normalcy a changeling like me can get in these hard times.

Though, ever since the downfall, as I travel alone for these missions, my mind began to wonder freely on… other things. A lot that had nothing to do with my culture or my mission. A certain… fantasy, if I can call it, that I play over in my head. Reason why, I have no idea—either I was bored, or my mind has really turned into mush.

This fantasy came back into mind once again as I arrived to Canterlot.

I had already changed to my pony disguise before I could even walk a hill from the entrance. It was a simple design of my making—dark lavender coat, curly dusty rose mane, emerald-green eyes and a unicorn horn for practicality if I ever need to use my magic for a distraction or escape. And to complete the façade, I quickly conjured an illusion spell to have a fake cutie mark appear on my flank—a green shield that seems to glimmer in some sort of artificial, non-existent light. This disguise has always been useful to me, as to far as I know, no pony knew someone that had looked like this. Some ponies approach me but that’s usually based on a one-sided conversation or attraction towards me. They would hardly remember me in the future, so I see no reason to change this disguise.

I make my usual business as I casually walked into town with a small pair of saddlebags on my back (they are normally packed with equestrian currency for necessities). I slowly surveillance my surroundings and its civilians. Right on the spot, I can certainly feel the ponies’ anticipation and excitement in the air. Through the sounds of the city, among the ponies’ usual chatter, I can hear them speculating about the wedding coming and their expectations on how the wedding would precede in a few weeks. I would have considered this useful information for the feeding, it is rather annoying how frequent I would come across a individual groups of them reciting the exact same sentence, almost to word! It’s as if they don’t have anything else to gap about.

It took a good chunk of time before I found exactly where I needed to go. In the far corners of town, a dark and seedy street with apartment complexes and small shops owned by middle-classed/poor ponies, lies an old-fashioned motel that I and the past changelings seek refuge for their missions. It’s not that nice compared to the other motels in the cities, as it was shabby on the outside and the inside. But it was affordable and have fewer ponies that roam inside it.

As I trot to the door, I was greeted casually with a nod from the owner, a large yet surly pony with a facial shadow and a greasy apron. I caught a green glimmer in his brown eyes confirming that the memory spell we’ve casted before still has its hold on him. Usually, the spell is temporary and alters its memory of us, but so far from what I heard from the others, it hasn’t faded yet. My guess is that he must’ve been older and messy enough that his brain got infected by some illness and it tempered with his memory.

Without even saying a word, he searched within his desk and brings out a room key for me to take. I took it and walked slowly to the sturdy yet noisy stairs. For a moment, I’ve wondered how the spell will last him or if his condition will grow worse because of it. But before I could think of it further, I avert my attention into finding my room.

Just because you’re disguising as a pony doesn’t think you have to think like them!, I scolded myself in thought.

I finally reach to my room on the top floor and open the door. While the room itself is as shabby at its building, it was still sufficient as long it has a bed, a washroom and privacy. I placed my saddlebags down by the side of the bed and sat on the bed, resting from the long travel from home. So long, in fact, that the sun had just begun setting down the horizon. As much as I would like to start my harvest during the dark, I am better getting some rest before starting onto business. The bed was close to the window, so the view that I was given seem to oversee all of Canterlot other than the palace hanging above us aside a cliff. I have to admit, the view is nice—even peaceful.

I sat up from the bed as I move towards the window and just… look. Look at anything that comes to my attention. The sun setting, the ponies that roam in the street—some reaching to their homes inside, retiring for the day and preparing what’s to come.

At the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a small family coming to the street. It was a single mother, a unicorn mare using her magic to carry a bag of groceries, guiding their two small fillies to a building I assumed was their home. I couldn’t help overhearing them.

“Hurry up now,” The mother spoke out, “We’re almost there.”

“And then we can eat,” One of the fillies asked excitedly.

The mother giggled in response, “Yes, then we’ll eat.”

A cry from the background caught the attention of the filly, who just turn behind to see her sister had tripped and hurt her knee. As if out of instinct, the filly rushed to her sister’s side. The mother stops in her tracks to overlook her daughters.

“You alright, Windy?” the filly asked.

The little sister nodded, as she sat on the streets, checking on her knees. There seem to be bandages around the filly’s appendages, some of them hanging loosely on her coat. There was also a pair of… shoes with skates on them? I have no idea what purpose is serve with a strange pair of shoes like that, but I didn’t care much of pony society to question it.

“Looks like you need new bandages,” the filly chuckled, “those ones aren’t so good anymore.”

The little one nod once again but seem despondent. Her sister knew the answer right away.

“You’re not still upset on what happened at practice, aren’t you?”

The little one finally spoke out, with disappointment in her voice, “I just wish I could’ve made that finish line quicker.”

“Hey, cheer up. Everypony makes mistakes. I even saw Stormy falling on his face several times—”

“That wouldn’t matter!” the little one yelled, coming frustration with a few tears falling her eyes, “What if that happened during a tournament? In front of everypony? I would make a fool out of myself and…. And let my team down.”

The little one sniffed, trying to best to not cry again. And then her sister rubs her arms in comfort.

“I know it seem hard for you, but it will get better. With enough practices, you will know better than not to fall on your face. And even if that happens, just shake it off! You’ll learn from that,” The big sister encouraged, “You got to trust me on this. You’re a tough pony—and soon, in the future, you will be the top champion of Roller Derby!”

The little sister giggled, “Don’t be ridiculous, Cinnamon! I can’t compete with the top best!”

“Not while I’m around,” the older sister smirks, making the two of them laugh from their fantasy.

“Girls, are you coming?” Their mother calls out for them.

The older sister helped her sister on her hooves before responding back, “Alright, mom! We’re coming!”

And with that, the two fillies gallop to their mother. Then I watched them walking down the street, their silhouettes growing smaller by the distance. It only took a moment for me to chuckle at that display.

As entertaining as those pairs are, I inaudibly scoffed at their fantasy. That small filly—becoming the very best at their feeble sport? I even doubted this filly could complete the training back at the changeling kingdom if given the chance.

But then something stood out in the back of my mind—I was like her.

I remember the times where I admired the army from afar as a young foal. When I was given permission to join, I worked so hard and ruthlessly to climb my way to become a good soldier—serving my queen and my kingdom. But it wasn’t always so easy. I still remember all the taunts and ridicules I suffered through. All the fights I’d initiated to defend my self-worth and my honor.

And I knew all the while who was keeping me back--- Nameless.

The brat that I was assigned to guard and watch over her ever since she was brought to the kingdom. It had to be the only explanation for all of my trials. After all, she always watches the training from the sidelines and kept cheering me on—which would always distract me and making me a fool. She was always the subject for those other trainees’ torment over her, leading to all my fights to protect her. She would always get me into trouble.

But then…..ever since I’ve stopped guarding for her after the…. Incident—I’ve improved. I just I would have to thank for queen for helping me set my head straight to the right direction. Even if that would lead me along with the rest of my clan to the lowest we’ve ever felt.

I left Nameless behind. I’d tried to leave all of that behind me—I was even assigned to kill her! And yet, even when I’m far away, she would still come back to haunt me. Nothing good ever comes from her!

But then…. Why do I feel so…. Guilty? Like I… missed her?

Before I could think further, my head suddenly hurts. Then, I could hear this faint voice inside my thought… a voice instantly familiar.

As long as we exist, the ponies will not rest until we are wiped from Equestria. Unless we do something about it. If you, as well as the rest of the clan, listen only to me and follow my commandments, I will guarantee you—Equestria will be ours for the taking.

As when the voice faded, the headaches was gone along with the complex emotions I had moment before. But I could only focus on this one fact that had me confused.

My Queen?! That was her voice. But… how?

Author's Note:

I am still in the progress of writing the next section so this is so far I wrote now. But I still plan to continue this on my own pace.