37. Hollowness Found in Shades
Hollowness Found in Shades
Cadance
Even as I glanced back at the pony that was Sunset Shimmer I couldn’t help but be drawn to her eyes. Twin pools of forceful emeralds that swam with barely concealed hate, yet not even a few hours ago I had seen something more than that hate. Where the everpresent anger that clung to my partner’s eyes, faded in turn for something kinder. Something that I innately knew to be Love.
This absence of hatred, anger, and spite. Brought forth a brilliant cyan coloration to her eyes. Where my partner resumed the role of a pony, where she could once more see beyond the great veils that clung to her eyes. Corrupting her view of the world around her, she still gazed upon me with such rapturous fervor.
The Love that had gained purchase within my partner was far less than most ponies. Hers was weak, struggling to exist amongst the great enmity that fueled Sunset. Yet this Love had still blossomed for me. It stood against the flames that fueled her crusade both for and against Celestia herself. It flowered nonetheless. That the fact was true was something that astounded me even now as it rang through my mind once more.
Even as I stood beside her, watching the ever the same Sun that had illuminated the world through a window of the Friendship Express, while the Sun had not changed. The two of us had. Borne of hatred and fear, both Sunset and I had stepped beyond such blackened beginnings. Moving towards something better. Something far grander. Towards something that I knew would irrevocably alter the course of Equus.
Stretching my wing slightly as Sunset shifted ever closer to me. No matter what she said there was nothing that she could do to prove that she wasn’t adorable. She pressed herself ever tighter against the crook of my wing, where she had claimed purchase ever since we had escaped the dining car. Sunset had even fixed whatever she had done to that rather rude pony after I asked her to.
While I certainly appreciated her efforts to protect me, I couldn’t help but believe that some of her actions were far more overzealous than what was needed. Of course, when I mentioned such a fact to her, she reminded me of the many times that I had nearly perished. Both by her hoof and otherwise.
I certainly hadn’t forgotten such events, yet I couldn't help but wonder if she was truly reminding me of my mortality or herself of such a fact. I was unsure yet I knew it wasn’t the reminder that I needed. What I had needed was for a different reminder to have come before I had nearly irrevocably shattered my partner. Such a reminder had not been brought forth until I had nearly gone too far.
I had ushered her forth with such haste that in searching for an ever greater representation of the Love that suffused within me. Something that I had to share with the pony that had brought forth such great feelings from within. I was in Love. I was Love. In all of its horrific splendor.
Greedily devouring all that my heart could claim. Encompassing any that I found within my gaze, that was what I was. Just as Celestia was her Sun, I was my Love. A truth that I couldn’t understand back when I first ascended. When I first had placed my new hoofs on the path toward my future, it had been as if I was blind. Stumbling forward into the unknown.
Now, however, my eyes have been opened to a new world of possibilities. Of understanding that had once been incomprehensible to my mind. No longer was that the truth. I, Cadance, Mi Amore Cadenza, was Love. I did not represent nor was I a meager mascot, I was Love in all of its darkened glory.
The cloying jealousy that spurned jilted lovers forth, in an effort to reclaim what was theirs. That unquenching lust for ever more perverse pleasures to be partaken, no matter what taboos were broken. The unspoken desire to taste a forbidden fruit that would be endlessly devoured, despite the consequences. That was all Love. That was all me.
I had once warned Sunset that Love was not kind or gentle. What I had failed to mention was that it was obsessive, often possessive. Love brought forth the worst in ponies. Countless travesties and horrors that could not be counted, these tragedies were born of Love.
I was Love in its entirety.
Perhaps I truly hadn’t understood what that meant myself until I had nearly gone too far in my passions. Pushing my partner towards the desired climax, unheeding her silent woes, her reservations, of her very will. I sought only to further bind the two of us together in the endless Love that still poured through me. It was only once I had placed my hoof beyond the cliff that we had climbed together, had I realized what truly lies beyond that horizon.
Only when she began to beg for my forgiveness once more did I realize how far I had gone. Her eyes were no longer cyan nor were they emerald. Instead, they were pitch black. Any designs that I held for continuing forth were utterly abandoned at that moment. Even as I did my best to correct my many mistakes, she… Sunset’s eyes held no hatred as the blackened void vacated her eyes. No, instead they were once more filled with Love as black voids bled into cyan pearls.
Did she not understand what had happened? She had even admitted that she had never thought of this form of Love. Or if she had it was muddled in with that all-encompassing desire for Celestia’s maternal Love. Congratulations Cadance you may have just managed to one-up Celestia in screwing Sunset.
Even as she snuggled into me it did little to remove the film of disgust that I brought upon myself. All but fleeing from her as I retreated to the shower. Attempting to scrub off what I had done, yet it refused to be cleaned from my coat. It had seeped in like a stain. The boiling blood that had been forced upon me, was now reinforced with what I had done.
Even when I returned and saw her splayed out on the floor… She… I…
I truly am sorry Sunset Shimmer.
What was worse was that it was almost as if she didn’t understand what I had nearly done to her. Her anger was finally forthcoming as I was prepared to face the fiery consequences of my actions. Instead, she prevented my apologies, with such utter vitriol and hatred that… I don’t even know.
She claimed that it was the highlight of her life. Did she not understand what those words meant? What that thoughtless thanks of hers represent? That what I had nearly forced upon her was…
Of course, she didn’t! This was her first true foray into Love and I had taken advantage of that just as easily as I had taken advantage of her. Not even officially dating for more than a day and already going at it like rutting beasts. No, I was the one who had ushered her forth. Unaware of the dangers that I brought with my lusts.
What would my parents think? After they had performed the greatest sacrifice that they could have done for me. What would Celestia think? After she had brought me through that strange world, protecting and guiding me through my ascension. Taking me into her home and adopting me as her niece.
How had I repaid such kindness? By usurping the will of the one who had so fervently protected me. It was almost amusing, Sunset believed that Celestia had sent along both Gentle Breeze and Rebound to ensure that I was kept safe from her. Yet it may have proven far more prudent to have them protecting her from me.
She had hurt me, she had attempted to do far worse than burn me. That was the irrevocable truth of the matter. Yet since that horrid beginning, she has placed herself between me and whatever dangers had threatened me. First, the griffon, then Discord, potential obliteration, and then that pony I could barely remember.
Brutally she disposed of the griffon. Next, she had nearly died putting herself between Discord and me. Then burning away five years of her life so that she could save me from an oblivion I wouldn’t have been able to remember. She had finally died when that pony had removed her head in a single moment. I had returned the favor by… How was it that she wasn't even considered a pony while I was an Alicorn?
I had sworn to protect all those that I could. That I would no longer need to be saved by the sacrifices of those around me. Here I was however an Alicorn on the path to true immortality, and still being saved. Not even by Celestia, no from her daughter in all but name. The very same pony that…
I could almost laugh at the unjustness of the situation. Even now she was clinging to me as if I could do no wrong. Had done no wrong, least of all to her. That I was as perfect as I once thought Celestia herself to be.
I knew now that the Princess of the Sun was the closest any pony could be to achieving perfection. She had her faults all the same. One of her greatest failures that she herself had no doubt contributed to was under the shadow of my wing. Silently watching the Sun that her mother in all but name controlled.
Screaming metal resounded through the air as if it was being brought into its well-deserved punishment. Gears shifted as mechanisms whirred, slowing the train down so that it could meet the station ahead. Even without changing our position both Sunset and I knew that this was our stop.
Hollow Shades, is a potential location for the location of an old foal’s tale. Where Sunset could find her own avenue to join me in ascension. I could feel her tensing under my wing as clouds finally covered the Sun that had been a constant companion to the two of us in the last leg of this journey. Now once more shadowed by something less than divine.
“Shall we?” Sunset asked as if I could potentially say no. That at my refusal she would obey my will and skip this potential avenue for her to take a step into Alicornhood. I knew not what color her eyes would become were I to say no. I however would never find out.
“Of course.” I agreed with an almost practiced ease, acting as if I hadn’t been replaying what had almost happened within my mind. Sunset however gave no inclination that my performance held any flaws as she slipped out from under my wing. Taking a moment longer to envision myself upon my crystalline throne, before I turned towards my partner.
She was silently still as she waited by the ethereal door. Unwavering as I moved to join her. “Could you cast your wall spell while we walk?” She looked amused at my request yet even as I placed my hoof on the door, turning it once more ethereal, her spell was cast.
“Privacy, not wall.” She chided with clear amusement coloring her voice, yet her eyes were still emerald. They still held the unending hatred that I had always seen in my partner’s eyes. That same hatred I had at times been able to chase away from fully encompassing her soul.
“That point aside.” How many spells did she know? And what was the fraction of those spells that she had taught me? Not even bringing into consideration how she could alter her spells at a moment’s notice. “Do you have any idea where to start your search for this castle?” At my question, Sunset frowned and her eyes narrowed.
“Considering what I know of Hollow Shades there isn’t exactly a castle in the open, which means that it has either been obscured in some way or it is not on the surface.” I waited for her to realize that I still couldn’t, nor did I want to, read her mind. “I am going to go around at random hoping that I can detect something.” I brushed her side with a few of my feathers and she swiftly changed her words. “We will.”
Helping her find this potential castle of the two sisters was truly the least I could do for all that she had done for me, and what I had almost done to her. All I could do now was return the smile that she sent me. Ignoring the way that my heart ached with both desire and regret.
Seeing that I wasn’t intending to continue, Sunset allowed her spell to fade. Not a moment too soon we found our way to an intended way off the train where both Gentle and Rebound were waiting. Sunset didn’t even look at them even as she slowed down.
Once more far more concerned with my actions than her own desires. The aching in my heart swelled. Meeting both of my guard's eyes for a moment before I pulled Sunset forward with me, leaving the two of them to fall into step behind us. While my actions were certainly rude, I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not right now. Not after what I had nearly done.
Stepping out from the metal behemoth of a train, into the world covered by an ever-present shade. There were a number of ponies that were getting off at this stop, yet even more were entering onto the train. Of those that were exiting the train three specific ponies caught my attention.
For as they stumbled out together, their movements were stilted. Minimalized almost as if they were attempting to not exasperate a recently received wound. Wounds that had been inflicted upon them because they had threatened a pony of mine, and they had received a swift punishment for their actions.
Turning my attention from those three I instead looked towards Hollow Shades itself. Perhaps hoping for something to stand out to me. So that I could cut through any time being wasted before we found the remnants of the castle… if it was indeed here that was.
Shaking my head to clear that thought, I mirrored Sunset’s movements as she pushed through the numerous ponies. When we broke through the near deluge of ponies at the station and made it into Hollow Shades where there were still many ponies about, they were not attempting to cram themselves together as they had been.
Silently the four of us continued our trek through Hollow Shades, listlessly wandering through the various streets. Receiving a number of odd looks from all manner of ponies, yet none of them dared impede our travelings. Was it because of the two royal guards that traveled behind both Sunset and me? Or perhaps it was Sunset herself and her general hostile attitude that was keeping the average pony at bay?
Not that it mattered in truth, as hours later while the Sun still enshrouded by clouds began to set in preparation for the night. My partner’s mood had taken a noticeable decline. No longer was she adamantly striding forth, parting through any that dared get in the path of her ascension. Now she was aimlessly meandering forward, unknowing where the correct path forward was. All the same, she refused to stop moving onward.
One hoof in front of another, we continued in near silence. Initially said silenced searchings had been a welcome reprieve from my actions, yet now it was simply another avenue for my most recent blunder to hold my attention. Even as I strained my senses, searching for something, anything, that would potentially lead to what we were searching for and distract me from my thoughts. Nothing was found.
Nothing was out of place within this town. Hollow Shades in truth reminded me of where I had grown up. Where ponies experienced their entire lives within their town's boundaries, never needing anything more than the ponies that were around them. Not that there weren’t those who desired to leave Blissville, but they were the minority…
Now, however, they were likely the majority, even with Celestia’s actions. No doubt what Prismia had done still weighed heavily upon everyone. Even after it was revealed that Prismia was the instigator of such strife… such ghosts refused to be easily dispelled, Alicorn Princess or not.
Would one day I return to the place that had been my only home and be greeted by an empty domain? Where just like the Crystal Empire that resided bereft of any ponies within my dreams, now Blissville would be left forgotten by its once inhabitants. If I was to return would I become like Umbrum? Losing so much of myself in an effort to preserve the life I once had there?
My internal, rather morose, deliberations were put on pause as Sunset’s momentum halted. Even as I glanced at her attempting to discover what she had. She may have been herself, but I was still an Alicorn. Still, I could find nothing. No new insights were brought forth as I demanded them to do so.
“We should retire for the night.” Sunset declared with the embers of annoyance clinging to her words, yet they held barely any weight in comparison to the finality of her statement. Her gaze met mine, emerald eyes softened as the flickerings of cyan began to form within.
My stomach twisted at the sight displayed within Sunset’s eyes. She truly held no hate for what I had done… Forcing a smile to my lips I was going to ask if we were going to spend the night underneath the clouded skies, only for my words to die upon my tongue. For Sunset’s eyes re-lit with an all too familiar hatred, the minute traces of cyan that had been birthed upon meeting my gaze, now smothered underneath the infernal emerald inferno.
My mouth once more tasted of ash, it was as harsh as it was brutal. This time it was not the pleasant taste of my partner as we shared the deepest portions of ourselves, no this was something far from the grandstanding declaration of Love. While this was something that was not under my purview. This was something that I had tasted before.
When I first stepped into Canterlot. Whereupon I had been once more introduced to my inevitable demise. When my partner had nearly slain me with her flames, would have successfully done so if not for the intervention of Celestia herself.
The ash that clung to my mouth was a mockery of Sunset’s true taste. It was a mockery of everything that she had gone through. How she had chosen to go down the path to become a better pony than she once was. Even if she was thought of as a demon, she still believed that she could do better than that title that had been ascribed to her.
Unlike I, who had taken the first step enshrouded by darkness. Uncaring of what would happen to the pony that trusted me. In the throes of passion and pleasures, I sought only to bind her ever more to myself. While she once more sought out the light due to my influence, I had begun my journey into the darkness that had been her home.
“Are we going to head into the inn or are we just going to stand before it?” Gentle Breeze’s voice knocked me from my thoughts. Refocusing on my partner who similarly had been shaken from hers, as no longer did the emerald inferno swell with her rage. Instead, she glanced back at the two royal guard ponies with a clear distaste.
“I am not paying for the two of you. You two will have to make do with braving the elements.” Sunset snidely commented to Rebounds' exaggerated shock as he held his wings to his ribcage.
“We brought our own bits.” Gentle simply responded with a nod.
“Does that mean that you will be paying for our dear favorite P-ony?” Rebound swiftly course corrected muttering a swift apology under his breath as both Gentle and Sunset glared at him. I for some reason believed that the pony that somehow hadn’t matured since he was a colt was far more concerned about the former than the latter.
“Yes.” Sunset simply announced as she lightly grabbed the hem of my cloak and pulled me from where we had been standing in the center of the street, towards a heavily scarred building. Above the door was a half-broken shield that had been painted upon with fading and flaking red paint ‘Shattershield’. I had certainly seen better establishments in my day, we had certainly passed one that had not nearly been as visibly downbeaten.
“Did you choose this place just to mess with them?” I whispered into my partner's ear as she opened the door for me, revealing what was a den of debauchery shrouded within shadows. I could see coins being exchanged between cloaked individuals, cards were once more dealt, and even ponies flinging spells at one another in the far corner. I hadn’t been to many places like this… I hadn’t been in any places like this but I could tell what it was. A place for ponies to gather in the darkness cast by the light that embraced all of Equestria.
Sunset just gave me her best attempt at an almost innocent smile, which was all the answer I needed from her. I turned my gaze from my marefriend who was far too amused with this entire situation that she had concocted. It seems that she could multitask if she had scoped out something like this while also searching for the remnants of a potential castle.
It was almost amusing how easily Sunset fit into this place, yet even such amusements quickly faded into unease. Even if she had not had the glamor that changed her appearance, the demon that she was known as would have easily fit among such ponies. She was doing better, yes, but she was still a creature that thrived within the darkness. After all, she had said it herself, even if not stated in such words, the Alicorn of the Sun had abandoned her. Leaving her to find solace in the darkness that existed beyond the touch of Celestia’s light.
She pulled the door shut behind her with a loud thud that attracted a few gazes from various patrons. Separating the two of us from Gentle Breeze and Rebound, whether or not they would truly enter into a place like this was still yet to be decided. After all this scene was not exactly one that they could easily enter into with their armor glistening in the light of the Sun.
That said officially coronated or not I was still an Alicorn Princess who had entered into this lair of… “Dawn, does this place count as an evil lair?” I asked my partner as she pulled me through the various tables and denizens who had no doubt been enjoying themselves for some time. My question actually brought Sunset to a short pause as she just looked at me.
Confusion clearly was displayed within my partner's eyes as she no doubt contemplated the intricacies of my question. Wait… Would that cavernous hideaway that she had spirited me away to be her lair? Not that it was an evil lair of course but when one thought of a…
Try as I might I was unable to come up with any other ways to describe such a place that my partner had prepared. Especially since she had boasted that within its protections the two of us would be even beyond Celestia’s gaze. It was as equally impressive that she had the ability to create such a thing as it was terrifying that she felt that she needed such a thing. What exactly she had been planning to do while concealed from Celestia was something that I wouldn’t speculate upon. Not when I knew what had likely been my initial fate in such plans.
She had changed her mind. Even if she believed that she couldn’t have. She-. My train of thought was pierced by a shrill scream. Even with my improved senses, I could only see the blur of one pony that had been by me, as he accelerated and then impacted into a wall with a sickening crunch. Before I could even react, spears of flames burned into existence as they appeared around his now-prone form.
Silence reigned as every pair of eyes was split between looking at the soon-to-be skewered pony and my partner whose eyes were curling with emerald flames. Taking a moment to make sure that I properly understood the situation, I didn’t but I had to at least make the attempt. I was an Alicorn after all. “Dawn,” As I spoke her disguised name my partner’s flame-wreathed eyes found my own.
The flames bled from her eyes, leaving a familiar set of emeralds. “I do believe that he learned his lesson.” What lesson that it was that he had deserved to be smashed into a wall and then nearly stuck upon flaming spears I knew not. However, considering that he was a patron of such a place and that he was still alive… Well, Celestia’s plan is often strange.
The flaming spears took a second longer to dissipate, leaving the entire establishment with its temperature noticeably raised by Sunset’s previous actions. Mentally, sighing before I motioned Sunset forward. It would be nice to get some sleep, perhaps Umbrum wouldn’t even be his normal self. He had to heal himself, after all. A pony could certainly hope.
Sunset thankfully continued forward, stalking forth as if were she a predator amidst a sea of prey. The silence that she had conjured through her actions was broken as we moved forth, the other denizens seeing that we weren’t going to continue our assault upon them. They still did part and allowed the two of us ease of access to the pony running the bar.
“How much for a room?” Sunset asked the gray mule that had paused his serving of drinks to watch as we made our way towards him. I could nearly see in his brown eyes the greed warring with the desire to not deal with Sunset’s particular brand of insanity.
“65 bits for the night.” The mule offered after a moment of deliberation, it looked like in the end, common sense had held his tongue. Sunset simply nodded before the specified number of coins flew out from her sack. Depositing themselves on the counter only for a moment before the mule quickly grabbed them and offered a rusted key. “Rooms are beyond to the left, you two are in room 13.” He got out as he was running one of his hoofs over the bits.
A familiar flickering red magic wrapped around the key and Sunset was once more leading me towards our room for the night. Perhaps I should have… No that would have… It wouldn’t have been good no matter the outcome. Biting my tongue to ensure that I wouldn’t leak any of my thoughts to Sunset.
“It doesn’t.” Sunset of course chose this moment to speak up, rambling about some matter that I held no context of. What exactly doesn’t I was unsure of, perhaps once more this was something that only Sunset could properly comprehend through her view of the world. Sensing perhaps my confusion at her words she paused before the door that had a rough carving of the number 13. I wouldn’t have been surprised if some pony had used a knife to scrape it into the wood and call it a day.
Her eyes once more met mine as her magic inserted the key into the look and opened the door with a click. “This isn’t an evil lair.” Oh. That’s what she was referring to. I had nearly forgotten about that idle curiosity of mine dealing with Sunset being herself… That was unfair to her, she likely held some reason to blast the pony into the wall and then continue her assault with more than enough prejudice.
“If this isn’t an evil lair…” I trailed off attempting to think of the kindest way to put these words together in an attempt to stave off another confrontation between the two of us. “What sort of evil lairs have you been in before then?” That was a good question actually. With Sunset supposedly being a demon encased within the flesh of a pony, it would make some sense if she had seen an evil lair or two. Sunset frowned at my words, her mouth opened to refute or answer my question, but no words came out. Leaving the two of us in an awkward silence that was cut with an underlying feeling of… something dangerous that flickered beyond my ability to perceive it.
“This isn’t an evil lair.” Sunset repeated, her words touched with a strange mix of conviction and confusion, but when had that ever stopped her from continuing on? “It’s still filled with ponies that haven’t been reshaped by the will of another.” That was ominous. Thankfully my partner continued with why this place wasn’t an evil lair. “There also aren't nearly enough traps.” Sunset just smiled at me, this smile wasn’t the one of false innocence from earlier, no it was one that clearly showed her amusement at my line of questions.
“I take it you plan to rectify that last point of failure?” I asked following along with Sunset’s clearly displayed line of thought. She swiftly nodded as she stepped to the side and bent into a small bow beside the entrance to our rented room.
“Princesses first.” She teased out. Rolling my eyes at Sunset and what seemed to amuse her at times I stepped forth, ignoring my partner, into the small room that held within it a singular bed. I wouldn’t repeat my mistakes, not again. Turning back to where I could see Sunset’s emerald eyes softening further as she in turn stepped in after me. Closing the door behind her as her magic seeped into the air forming all matter of spells and equations.
Most of which I couldn’t understand, yet I understood their intent clearly enough. After all these actions of hers were something that she was doing in the name of Love. To protect one that she cared for to the best of her ability.
Something that I myself had sworn to do as I had been reborn into an Alicorn.
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