Mirror Mirror

by LittleFaerieFire

33. Fading Facade

Fading Facade

Sunset

Cadance’s wings finally unwrapped themselves from around me, as the brittle gentleness in her eyes faded. Now the crystalline kindness was replaced by an unbending blade that pierced into me. I could only do my best to not falter as I gazed back into the pony that was once my marefriend’s eyes…

That was still a thought that sent strange feelings throughout my body. I knew what getting a marefriend, or even in general what entering into a relationship entailed, but it still was strange. It was something that I knew I could never touch with my own hooves. Something that I could never grasp with my mastery over magic. It was something that was entirely separate from the pony I was supposed to be. It was a fragment of impossibility that formed against all odds, before being shattered by my own hooves.

Sunset Shimmer needed no pony but herself. She would chase after the impossibility of Ascension and the Sun herself. Bathing in tragedy and horrors black enough to scar the depths of reality. I cared for none other than the pony that had both raised and discarded me. That was who I was. I needed no pony's help. With my own horn, I would defy destiny itself and rewrite the end of my tale into one where I had claimed a happy ending.

Yet I was not the one who had blurred the tale, no that was Cadance. The Princess of Love herself. She had managed to do the impossible. My heart, which I knew was as pitch black as coal, had impossibly managed to begin to beat for her. The impossibility that could have easily been quantified with nonexistence itself, occurred against all thought.

I had incinerated Love on the pyre I had forged in my soul. Any form of care had been discarded as a pointless endeavor. I had done my best to discard any and all emotions that dared bring me weakness. I was striving to accomplish a task that I knew deep within my soul was impossible. I didn’t need such feelings to bring me even more difficulties. Pointless weights that would sink me in my endless pursuit of destiny.

In my quest, nothing was sacred for as long as I was Celestia’s and she was mine, I would sacrifice Equus itself. I had already sacrificed so much of myself. All in an effort to be her daughter and her my mother. There was no price too large for me to pay so that wish of mine would come true. Yet here I was, having bound myself to one that had impeded my path. One that had stolen what was rightfully mine.

Princess Mi Amore Cadenza had been claimed as Celestia’s family. Of her blood. The two of them held a deeper connection than every other pony that walked upon Equus. She had replaced me. She was better than me in every way that mattered. Yet I had promised to stay with her.

I had bound myself to her. She was not Celestia, yet I still had bound myself to her. I had forged a promise with her, that was stronger than the pact we had made. I would be by her side until she, just like Celestia, would discard me.

I knew exactly how this would end as she offered me the poison, yet what else could I have done but partaken of her? I would be discarded once more. I would be left forgotten as both she and Equus moved on. Left to rot in the dark and cold, as I burned away ever more of my soul just to survive. Becoming a shade that could do little but exist in the shadows of Equus, hiding from the brilliant Sun that burned it so.

I had survived such an ordeal once from being abandoned by Celestia, I would survive it from Cadance. I drowned in her warmth, her love, her very existence for as long as I could. I would etch these memories of what should be beyond my very existence into my mind. The eldritch insights into something so beyond me, inscribed into my conscience.

The feeling of our lips meeting. The tinkling laughter she would only share with me, The way her eyes would light up whenever she saw me. The way that her tri-colored mane would shimmer as it clung to her. The smiles that she formed. The very Love that she represented and that she gave to me. Freely and expecting naught but my own in return. Something that I didn’t even realize I could give to a pony that wasn’t Celestia. Yet here I was infatuated by the one that I had failed to kill. The Love that I would no longer be able to claim as my own.

Yet in that same vein, she was the one to whom I had almost broken my promise. The very same thing that I had etched into my existence itself and yet I had nearly shattered it. I had once more all but blacked out, but that didn't excuse my actions. My failures. The moment I had regained control over my body and had realized my actions I had fled. I had done to her what Celestia had done to me.

It was a somber realization that Celestia was right to toss me away. There was nothing of value left here. Nothing more than a failure of a pony that refused to be extinguished. Burning any that got too close because it couldn’t imagine the pain of getting tossed away again. Yet still clung to any proffered warmth that was sent her way in a misguided attempt of pity.

That same pity that I raged against. That I swore to burn from the souls of those who viewed me with it in their eyes. The same eyes that had sung cruelties throughout my entire existence. That swam in deceits far more dreadful than any of my lies. Far more damning than any of my promises.

One of the last few things that I still held close to were my promises. Yet I had discarded that the moment I had once more harmed Cadance. I had fled with my tail tucked between my legs. Unable to let her be the one to throw me away. Yet in exchange I had discarded her, and as I saw the sharpened steel form beneath the crystalline spears that were rallying in my p-. In Cadance’s eyes, she remembered that fact as well as I.

A molten fury burned in my veins, forcibly extinguishing the frozen shards of fear that had formed. I had survived this once. I would survive it again. I knew that this was how it would end, if anything I should be glad something like this could last as long as it did. It should prove as a testament that even the damned receive some divine favor. That even I, after all I had done, was blessed with the faintest rays of Princess Celestia’s divine light.

Baring my teeth at her as she retreated back away from me, yet her eyes still held no fear within her purple orbs of steel covered in crystal. She should fear me. They all will fear me. No, instead her eyes dared soften as they looked upon the one that had done so much harm to her that she still dared have pity for me. I was so pathetic that she still held pity for me in her heart.

A heart that I had managed to find solace within.

Was that the reason that she had allowed me to continue to leech off her warmth? Even after what I had once more done to her? After I had once more caused blemishes to appear on one that was far closer to perfection than I? One who would always be closer to achieving perfection than myself. One who was one step away from becoming equal to the Sun that I had chased after for so long?

I had forged my existence in a promise that I had shattered. I had once more proved myself to be the demon that I knew I was. That I was no pony at all, just the seedling of an apocalypse waiting to sprout. I had so little left. I couldn’t even keep something as sacred as a promise. I can’t keep anything sacred. There was no faint light that bloomed from the darkness of my soul.

I can’t keep anything in my blackened heart other than my hatred, my rage, my endless flames. I could never keep another pony's warmth. I could only steal the very heat that they gave off. I was no better than a common thief. That’s all I have ever been. A Parasite.

Stealing attention from one who should have been focussed upon those that mattered. Not me. Imagining a loving care that had never been mine. Never mine. Would never be mine. Ripping power from artifacts no matter the cost. Seeking to imbue myself with their strengths in a doomed effort to remake myself with my failures. Losing even more of the warmth that had once bloomed in my veins.

Ever since I was born I have been stealing warmth that was never mine to grasp. I stole Princess Celestia’s warmth, care, and attention away from the ponies that actually needed it. I formed my very existence around those stolen actions. Even after I had been discarded, that was who I was. Who I could only be.

Then the Alicorn before me appeared. Ruining my monumental plans to reclaim Celestia for myself. Offering her warmth for me to consume. To gorge myself upon. All in exchange for me to share my warmth with her.

She had professed that she loved me, even after everything I had done to her. She was attractive, yes, even when I utterly despised her I could see that. Yet that wasn’t why I had accepted her proposal of her love. She was offering to share her warmth with me. How could I have said no? How could I have pushed away a pony who was offering me their warmth freely?

…

…

…

Why didn’t she hate me as I hated her? Why didn't she loathe me as I loathed her? Why didn’t she love me as-! No!

I couldn’t think like that. That wasn’t who I was. That wasn’t who I was supposed to be! I didn’t need her! I never had wanted her. All I had ever needed was Celestia herself!

Celestia had ABANDONED me! She had banished me! Even when I had returned I had been replaced by another at her side. My mother had moved on, having forgotten me.

I could never forget her. She was my everything. She was my light. My Love. My very reason for continuing to exist in this world didn’t wish me to even be a part of it. My very existence was an afterthought. Only with her did I ever matter, even if she had left me behind. Yet that didn’t stop me! My magic allowed me to claim my rightful place! I would not rest until I was given what was rightfully mine! Mother would love me as I loved her!

I would do anything it took to perform that miracle, even once more killing the so-called Princess of Love. Who still somehow held pity for me. I would show her that I did not need her pity, her care, her existence, her Love. All I needed was the wings upon its side, the warmth its corpse would secrete, and secrets that I would sap from its ruptured mind.

I snarled at the Parasite that still dared reach out to me with its wings, which would soon be mine. Did it truly think that I still would care for it? That I would still allow myself to be led around with my head within the noose it had gifted me? No! I was the master of my destiny!

I WOULD NEVER BE CHAINED BY ANOTHER. NOT THEN AND NOT NOW! I WAS SUNSET SHIMMER DAUGHTER OF THE SUN! I WAS THE ONE THAT HAD BROUGHT RUIN TO EQUUS AND BEYOND!

A destiny that it was preventing me from accomplishing. I allowed my hate to spread, and my rage blossomed. My once liquid life force turned to molten flames that spurred my heat to grow ever higher in temperature. Feeding the infernal machine that I had created of myself in pursuit of the Sun and its Love.

My flames had never been extinguished! Even after everything that I had gone through, my flames were the only partner I had ever had. The only partner I ever needed. I gave one more look at the Parasite. I could feel my lips begin to move into a smile as I saw the fear flashing in her eyes. Good. She would know what I felt my entire existence. She would scream as she had in the past. A cacophony of pains that brought me ever closer to my destiny.

My flames leaped at the Parasite, faster than most ponies could even comprehend. Yet I could only watch as they were extinguished before they could even burn her! The Parasite’s eyes dared soften at my faltering rage.

“WHY?” I spat as I once more attempted to incinerate the Parasite that had stolen so much from me! SHE HAD STOLEN CELESTIA FROM ME TWICE OVER! Yet even as I brought every drop of rage to bear against her. I COULD NOT BURN HER! “Why can’t I burn you?” I snarled out at the Parasite that had yet to even move as I reduced reality to ash around it.

Even in the realm of nonexistence the Parasite didn’t even deign to answer me instead it looked at me with ever more pity in its eyes as it shook its head in disappointment. She opened her mouth but I couldn’t even hear the taunts that it no doubt shouted. No, instead my gaze locked upon the pony that I somehow loved. Hated.

My vision was covered with snow as my hatred grew. Burning the snow from my eyes so that I could once more look at the Sun herself. She coiled around the Parasite as my very existence nearly faltered at the sight. How dare she. HOW DARE SHE!

I could feel Equus tremble as reality once more was molded within my claws. The Parasite’s eyes once more showed the fear it had the last time. Good. I may not be able to burn it but I would ensure that it suffered under my rage regardless. It would rejoin its mate and spawn in the hell that I forged for them.

Screams echoed around me as countless souls who had their lives ended too early clawed at my consciousness. However, I was Sunset Shimmer. I needed only my rage, my hate, my flames. I had burned all else. The shades cried as I resumed the role of tormenter.

How could I have ever forgotten? I was not the prisoner, that was to be punished. I was never a prisoner of theirs. No. I instead was the warden and these shades, the remains that were mine to torture. They were mine to reconstruct in my image. They were my playthings that danced to the song of hatred that I so dutifully spread.

My flames spread through the hastily constructed prison that had attempted to chain me. Burning through the forgotten souls. Incinerating them for now as I reminded them of their deaths at my flames. The snowfields were replaced with endless pits of darkened lava, as only my place of birth remained. Along with the void that it held. Now the only trace of light that I didn’t create myself was the faint trickle of moonlight that had once been hidden.

Now illuminated, I observed it attempting to hide in this new realm of flames. Quaking in fear as my magic seeped ever closer to it. “I have never needed to fear nightmares, for I have never dreamed.” At my words, the Moon herself trembled in anger. Did you take offense to my words? Or perhaps you remembered your shattering. Your imprisonment within the lunar body that you had once controlled.

We had both been thrown aside by the Sun herself, yet she had been brought back into the illustrious light and warmth. Something that I had never been blessed with. I could hear the faint ragings of a pony that thought she was unique. That she was the only one left in the past, as Equus, no, as Mother moved on. She was wrong. I had been left forgotten in the dark and cold, while she had been redeemed.

I stepped forward towards both the trickling moonlight and the Sun herself. My flames provided me with all the warmth I would ever need. I did not require the connection to the greater herd of ponies. I never had their compassion, nor did I heed their love. I only needed them to act as fuel for my flames. I only needed them to burn at my command!

I could feel the Moon tremble as I began to burn that connection it had managed to form within my dreams. Mother once more stared at me in horror, as she backed away not even attempting to slay me once more. “Tell me, Mother, am I now good enough for you? Am I now perfect enough to be your daughter?” I asked my mother once more as I stalked forward toward the pony whose shadow I had escaped from.

I could see my Mother quaking in fear. Tears in her eyes. Was this all that she was? Was this all that the only pony that I had ever loved amounted to? Was this the conclusion that I wished for? Was this the result of my actions?

Ice sluiced down my spine at that final thought. A singular snowflake fluttered from the burnt heavens above as it danced mockingly before me. I was once more trapped in a dream! Snarling I tore at my face, my sharpened hooves piercing into my flesh as I shoveled the snow from my eyes.

The pain bleeds ever further into my failure. Even through my hooves, I could see Mother no longer looking at me with fear coalesced within her pink eyes. Now they only held the ever-present disappointment that formed within her orbs whenever she saw me. Blood ran from my orifices as I removed the final layer of snow that I had been entrapped within.

I was once more enshrouded within a pair of pink wings of the Parasite. I couldn’t help the frown that formed as I quickly checked the surrounding temperature finding that it hadn’t been forcibly altered. I opened my mouth to demand the Parasite to release me from its grasp only for my words to falter as I glanced down upon my hooves.

I was shackled. Wrought iron chains were around me yet they faded just as quickly as I noticed them. I glared at where they were before I attempted to once more summon them back into existence so that I could turn them into molten slag. Yet even at my silent command, they refused to reform into reality so that I could shatter them.

All I was left with was the still silent form of the Parasite that still had its wings wrapped around me. Entrapping me within its slumbering form. Even in the darkness that surrounded us, I could see through the shadow. The one that slumbered within. One who hadn’t before. The Parasite would wait for its demise.

Cocking my head as I peered down at the one who was acting as the Parasite's shadow. This was not one of my manipulations. My eyes narrowed as I stared down the shadow that froze, like all the others that soon burned under my gaze. It seems that I wasn’t the only being to make alterations, mine were not so nearly as crude as this, however. Did it truly believe that I couldn’t see it?

Even as a smile formed upon my lips and tinkling laughter spilled out, my partner’s shadow lunged at me. Faltering at the flames that seeped from my existence. Naughty little thing. Perhaps I had been too hasty to declare the Parasite, that declaration fit this one far better…

My jubilation was replaced with confusion, and my laughter silenced. Why wasn’t Cadance the Parasite? Why did I care for her? How did I care for her? Why did I refer to her as the Parasite once more? Didn’t I care for her? Didn’t she care for me?

Even as she slumbered, she still held me within her caring embrace. Her whispers resounded once more. Memories that had been burned away resurfaced, and with them a warmth that subsumed me.

“Sunset, are you alright?” I heard the Parasite ask, as its wings shifted allowing me to once more see its head. Her mouth remained unmoving, as its nostrils flared with a deep gulping of air. Her eyes even while closed, I could still see two purple orbs of ever-shifting crystals that impossibly still held concern. Her eyes somehow softened further as they met my own. A boulder of ice formed in my stomach. Chasing away the final remnants of my hate.

Pain. A pain that I hadn’t felt in ages erupted within my mind, heart, and soul. Each screamed out that something was wrong. That something had irrevocably been damaged. That I once more had been lost to the snowfields. Yet in that same moment, I could still feel Cadance’s warmth that she even now still shared.

Grimacing through the pain, mouthing the words I had responded with.

“What happened?” I questioned Cadance, before pausing. I lowered my head as I whispered out the important question. “Did I do anything?” Did I once more harm you? The boulder of ice turned to water as she softly shook her head in the negative. Thank Princess Celestia I hadn’t once more harmed her.

I hadn’t. I didn’t. I wouldn’t. I couldn’t.

Forcing the scene to replay. Chasing away the screaming laughter that beckoned me back into its embrace.

“Sunset, are you alright? You just froze and weren’t responding to me.” Even after I had done so much to her she was still worrying about me. Even now I couldn’t help but wonder if… It doesn’t matter.

“Yes, it does.” I knew it did. I just didn’t know why. Even as I straightened and forced a smile on my lips. Just as I was about to lie I could see the way that her eyes tightened. The trace amounts of disapproval and disgust began to form in eyes that were becoming less purple and more pink.

Her eyes weren’t pink. Just as mine weren’t-. I couldn’t help but wrench my eyes shut but the sight of her pink eyes once more filled with disapproval for my existence was etched into the back of my eyelids. Even now I wasn’t enough. Even now I am no closer to perfection. I was no better than I was at the beginning. Mewling for some pony to save me.

To chase away the dark and cold. To bring me into the light that every other pony had found. That embraced every soul but mine.

Yes, I am, I shouted. My words were tainted with righteous fury. “No, I am not,” I whispered through clenched teeth. I was not normally this pathetic. Wishing that she wasn’t here so that I could freeze myself in a chunk of ice until I once more felt normal. Not this ever-churning mess that I had recently been. When I was alone I knew how to survive but with Cadance by my side, I was struggling to even exist.

I felt her wings leave their position around me as Cadance retracted them back to her side. I felt a void form in my gut at the loss of the connection between the two of us. Logically I knew that we would no longer be as close physically or mentally but it still hurt. Forcefully I straightened myself and cracked open my eyes to see that Cadance was but a scant few hoof steps away from me. Silently her pin-. Purple. Her eyes are purple. They always have been purple! They have ever-shifting crystals in her purple eyes. Her eyes are not pink!

Reaching out even now as she twisted around me, impossibly entangling herself in the blanket that covered us. The spell I had earlier weaved to prevent such an occurrence shattered. Proving how feeble my magic was against the might of my sleeping partner. Even as the scene continued in my mind's eye, the hoof I held against her coat gave me enough warmth to chase away that pit that had formed.

My mental tirade must have leaked as Cadance all but flinches back, even now her sleeping form moves away from me. Attempting to escape the hoof that I placed upon her. The movement exasperated the quickly growing void that I knew no amount of stolen warmth would fill. I looked upon my partner’s, and nothing more, form. I can do nothing else but lower my head and turn away from the pony who was nearly perfect if not for the wounds I had repeatedly etched into her existence.

I whispered her next words in concert with her. As I lost myself fully in the phantom of the past. The darkness lost its luster as my partner withered away. Replaced with the splendorous light of the Sun as it performed its dance through the heavens above.

“Sunset,” Cadance spoke my name and I could feel my heart pulse with excitement as my blood swam with renewed heat. “- what color are your eyes?” As she finished her question my hopes were dashed. The shadow of excitement at the possibilities of something more was once more squandered. I forced my eyes shut as I burned away the liquid weakness that threatened to reveal how truly pathetic I was.

“My eyes are the same shade as an emerald’s,” I answered, ensuring that I kept my voice level and did not allow any of the disappointment I felt through it. I was the one who made the mistake, I was the one who hurt her, and I was the one at fault. I wasn’t allowed to feel disappointed. I was the monster. I was the demon. I was the failure. I felt the liquid weakness escaping the clutches of my molten rage once more.

I couldn’t bear to open my eyes and see her reaction to my pitiful display. “If it’s all the same to you Princess I think I should leave.” I could hear the liquid failure tainting my words. I wouldn’t stand for her pity and I was not willing to risk seeing her scorn.

“Sunset, are you sure you want to be alone right now?” She asked her tone soft as she was talking to something fragile that she was afraid would shatter. I was not that weak! I have stood against Princess Celestia herself. I have contested the might of the Alicorn of the Sun. I have bested the Celestial Goddess even. I have torn reality asunder, remaking it in my will.

“I am not planning on fleeing once more.” I succinctly answered her real fear that she would lose a powerful pawn. She wouldn’t lose me as her piece, I had promised her after all. I would not break my promise. Not again. She sighs at my answer, and in my mind’s eye, I can imagine her mane flowing with her head as she shakes in annoyance.

“Sunset I don’t think you should be alone right now and as your marefriend I would like to stay with you.” She continued on speaking as if I was… Wait… I couldn’t help but tilt my head in confusion. Were we still together? I thought I had ruined our relationship. Did I not reduce it to cinders?

Something shattered beyond my sight.

Taking a breath as I bludgeoned the fledgling spark of hope down with the reality of the situation. Even then I couldn't fully smother that fledgling spark that I knew was just a phantom mockery that only brought an unfeasible desire. I must have been truly pathetic as I opened my eyes in an effort to see Cadance’s form once more only to see a realm blurred. Twisted by the failure that still clung to my eyes.

Clawing at my eyes as I removed the failure. Allowing my vision to once more readjust to the reality I had found myself within. I could see Cadance stiffly standing but a scant few steps away, yet still too far for me to bask in her warmth. Her eyes were wide and filled with concern that caused the crystalline aberrations to quiver with uncertainty.

Mentally striking a spark into existence so that I would have any form of flame to confront me as I prepared myself for the humiliation and discord I would purposefully cause myself.

“Cadance, are we still together?” I barely even whispered but from the way that my-. The way that Cadance froze, I knew that she had still heard me all the same. The enhancements that she had received from her ascension were a boon indeed. It only took her a few seconds for Cadance to return to reality as she frowned at me. The crystals in her purple eyes are fragmented.

I see. Yet before I could do anything else Cadance quickly spoke up.

“Celestia’s supple ass, Sunset, yes we are still together.” She then huffs as I am still repeating her words in my mind. Her next words however utterly fragment the quickly growing warmth that had been pooling in me. “Do you no longer want to be together?” At her words the entire car that we were within darkened. A faint coiling heat formed in the currents of air that moved throughout the room.

Something reforms. Weakened yet growing in strength. Beating with renewed vigor at the opportunity it had been gifted.

“No! Of course, I still want to…” I trail off as Cadance’s smile brightens the room, extinguishing the darkness that had formed. The once-prepared permeated heat dissipated into a gentle warmth that flooded the cabin.

A whimper of pain that was not whispered from my lips screams out as it is once more silenced.

“Then we are still together.” She chirps as her smile impossibly grows larger, the very foundations of the crystals in her purple eyes flashing. “Sunset, you don’t have to worry about me ending our relationship without you knowing. I am not that sort of pony.” She concludes as once more she lifts up her wing and extends the tip towards me. Her pink feathers are nearly ethereal in the light.

I could only stare at her once more, offering a connection between the two of us as I slowly moved my hoof to grasp the offered comfort. “Would you like me to stay with you Sunset? You don’t have to explain anything but I would still like to be by your side to make sure that you are alright.” She then gave me a shallow smile horrifically scarred by a morose sadness that I had caused. “I can leave if you need to work through this on your own. But I would like to stay with you.”

I could only stare at the pony that was my partner, her words resounding throughout my mind. Shattering my thoughts into an incoherent babble of incomprehensible nonsense that I couldn’t comprehend. The desire to ask her to stay with me was insurmountable, but I knew that I shouldn’t, couldn’t, ask that of her. I was Sunset Shimmer.

The vestiges of the past recede from my sight as even now staring at my ally, my partner, my marefriend. The words I had whispered a scant few hours ago, unsaid upon my lips. I needed not to give them once again, for I had accepted the hoof that she had offered. I had clung to her wing that she extended.

I had stepped beyond my name. I had stepped beyond my role. I had stepped beyond the steeped hate that I existed within. I stepped beyond the demon that existence itself demanded I be. I put my hoof beyond Sunset Shimmer herself.

I closed my eyes once more and embraced a Love that should have been beyond me.

Author's Note:

Well its been a few months since I last posted a chapter of Mirror Mirror... oops. I am attempting to move back into my normal once a week posting for Mirror Mirror and posting updates to my other stories whenever I feel like it. But enough about that we are here for Cadance and Sunset.

Sunset Shimmer, Daughter of the Sun, Demon. A pony that has gone by so many titles that had been ascribed by others and even herself. Seeking to accomplish a goal that she knows is impossible, yet she can't ever stop in her futile pursuit. Yet despite all the shadows that cling to her she has stepped beyond what she should be, can be. All thanks to one Alicorn Princess of Love.

Her journey forwards has just begun, tribulations loom in darkened horizons.

Not much of Cadance this chapter(or in the next but aside the point), but I feel that this chapter was required for Sunset to come to terms with both herself and her actions. Accepting the consequences for what they are. + I managed to give some more insight into the world and some of the more important characters within it.

-LittleFaerieFire

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