Punkbabii!

by HelloPussy

Freaks!

I got the clippers in my hand. I hold it like I’m pouring shit out a foam cup. They go straight to the front of my head, get my dumb widows peak first since Bow had a lot to say about it. My hair falls in clumps, skittles, the whole rainbow, but not anymore. I’m gonna be as bald as a baby’s ass. It’s gonna be horrifying and I love it. I can see my peach fuzz in the mirror, and I stick my tongue out to the side to really steady my aim. I was thinking about a Mohawk, one with spikes since Bow has a lot to say about that too.

“Dash?” There’s a knock on the bathroom door. Windy shakes the knob, but I locked it. This is the second time she’s come around and I’ve been in here for, like, over five minutes. “Open the door.” She shakes it again and I don’t even look at it through the mirror.

If not a Mohawk I’m thinking of a buzz cut, maybe a bowl, but it’s too late for that now that there’s a huge chunk missing in the center of my fucking head. I could leave it like that, maybe a reverse Mohawk? Maybe that middle-age-pervert cut so I can finally fit in with the dudes at the gas station. Whatever I’m gonna do I should probably think fast. My hands are still moving and now I don’t have green in my hair.

She knocks again. “Rainbow Dash, are you gonna open the door?” I hear her clinking with something, and I know it’s a butter knife since I do that shit too with our crappy locks. I’m convinced a fingernail could turn it, but Windy has small hands so maybe she can’t. Quickly, I grab the mop next to the tub and shove the handle against the knob to prevent it from opening. The lock literally rotates before my very eyes, but Windy should’ve knew I was fucking faster than her.

I’m the fastest thing alive.

“You listen to me right now! I’m being serious!” She huffs as she tries to force her way in. I never damn well said I was playing, but I do gladly return to shaving the blonde from my hair. Multicolors are so not my style, not since leaving Cloudsdale. “I’m getting your father!” She threatens me like I’m scared of Bow.

I scream at her to shut her stupid trap up, “Okay!” And it’s way too chipper that she probably knows I’m being sarcastic. Her footsteps disappear and I can hear her frantically yelling something downstairs like this is an emergency, like the sky is falling and a bunch of aliens are skinning our world leaders alive as we speak. I’m not shooting up heroin, I’m not slitting my wrists, yet she always treats me like this every single time I dare to shut a door in this prison. It’s a recent thing, though. Like, very recent.

And no one was gonna stop me from cutting my hair. They can decide to pull me from track, take away my phone, and dictate who the fuck I’m friends with, but they won’t get me to keep my hair. The red goes next, and thank God I’m no longer half ginger.

Bow’s voice gets here before he does. The guy has a speakerphone built into his esophagus. “This will be the last goddamn time you have a fucking door, I’ll promise you that!” He yells, and it makes the mirror rattle.

“Stop cussing at her!” Windy likes to tug at his balls sometimes to test his authority. Its a dumb, like, song and dance couples like them gotta do. Macho Man must be in charge at all times, yet Windy likes to think she’s strong and independent. She watches too much Photo Finish, you know, those shitty daytime talk shows that tend to rot soccer moms’ brains.

“Won’t you be quiet so I can talk to my daughter—“

“You don’t tell me to be quiet! I’m not a child!” There they go butting heads. All they ever do is argue all day then wear out their bed springs at night. It’s constant screaming between the two of them, and that too is super recent. “Get the door open already! Don’t you hear that?” I put the clippers on a higher setting so they make more noise. “I’m gonna call the ambulance!”

“Just wait! I’m about to get in there!” He jiggles the knob with more force than Windy could muster. “I’m setting your ass ablaze the second I get my hands on you!” He’s yelling at me now. I keep clipping. Purple is gone. I got blue left and I debate keeping it since it matches my skin tone. “You’re about to get it!” He slams his shoulder against the door.

“You better not! Not while she’s—“ before Windy could finish that sentence he slams against it again, and now a few bolts fly from the hinges. I turn the clippers off, pull my pants down, then sit on the toilet. To really stick it to the man I could take my shirt off, but Bow doesn’t deserve to see my tits.

He slams against the door again.

It flies open.

“I’m in here! What the hell?!” I throw a roll of toilet paper at him then stifle a laugh when his eyes grow as large as saucers. Still, Macho Man must prove to the world that he's the alpha dog. He’s just gotta bark for us bitches like any of us are even impressed.

“What the hell did you do to your hair!?” Bow stomps towards me and grabs me by the arm.

“Ma! I’m on the toilet!” I shriek at her to get her husband. Windy is a sucker for whining. It’s easy to melt her heart.

She pulls on Bow’s arm like he pulls on mine. “Don’t be so rough with her or you’ll hurt the baby!” His free hand goes for his belt and she goes for it too. “I think not!” Windy starts screaming in his face and he screams right back, and now they're both yapping bitches at each other’s throat.

Bow drops me in the heat of their argument. Guess he isn’t gonna make good on his threat to set my raw cheeks ablaze. I get right back on the toilet to take a piss as I watch the both of them get red in the face from all the shouting. At least I got my fucking hair cut.