> Punkbabii!
>  by HelloPussy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Freaks!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got the clippers in my hand. I hold it like I’m pouring shit out a foam cup. They go straight to the front of my head, get my dumb widows peak first since Bow had a lot to say about it. My hair falls in clumps, skittles, the whole rainbow, but not anymore. I’m gonna be as bald as a baby’s ass. It’s gonna be horrifying and I love it. I can see my peach fuzz in the mirror, and I stick my tongue out to the side to really steady my aim. I was thinking about a Mohawk, one with spikes since Bow has a lot to say about that too. 

“Dash?” There’s a knock on the bathroom door. Windy shakes the knob, but I locked it. This is the second time she’s come around and I’ve been in here for, like, over five minutes. “Open the door.” She shakes it again and I don’t even look at it through the mirror. 

If not a Mohawk I’m thinking of a buzz cut, maybe a bowl, but it’s too late for that now that there’s a huge chunk missing in the center of my fucking head. I could leave it like that, maybe a reverse Mohawk? Maybe that middle-age-pervert cut so I can finally fit in with the dudes at the gas station. Whatever I’m gonna do I should probably think fast. My hands are still moving and now I don’t have green in my hair. 

She knocks again. “Rainbow Dash, are you gonna open the door?” I hear her clinking with something, and I know it’s a butter knife since I do that shit too with our crappy locks. I’m convinced a fingernail could turn it, but Windy has small hands so maybe she can’t. Quickly, I grab the mop next to the tub and shove the handle against the knob to prevent it from opening. The lock literally rotates before my very eyes, but Windy should’ve knew I was fucking faster than her. 

I’m the fastest thing alive.

“You listen to me right now! I’m being serious!” She huffs as she tries to force her way in. I never damn well said I was playing, but I do gladly return to shaving the blonde from my hair. Multicolors are so not my style, not since leaving Cloudsdale. “I’m getting your father!” She threatens me like I’m scared of Bow. 

I scream at her to shut her stupid trap up, “Okay!” And it’s way too chipper that she probably knows I’m being sarcastic. Her footsteps disappear and I can hear her frantically yelling something downstairs like this is an emergency, like the sky is falling and a bunch of aliens are skinning our world leaders alive as we speak. I’m not shooting up heroin, I’m not slitting my wrists, yet she always treats me like this every single time I dare to shut a door in this prison. It’s a recent thing, though. Like, very recent. 

And no one was gonna stop me from cutting my hair. They can decide to pull me from track, take away my phone, and dictate who the fuck I’m friends with, but they won’t get me to keep my hair. The red goes next, and thank God I’m no longer half ginger. 

Bow’s voice gets here before he does. The guy has a speakerphone built into his esophagus. “This will be the last goddamn time you have a fucking door, I’ll promise you that!” He yells, and it makes the mirror rattle. 

“Stop cussing at her!” Windy likes to tug at his balls sometimes to test his authority. Its a dumb, like, song and dance couples like them gotta do. Macho Man must be in charge at all times, yet Windy likes to think she’s strong and independent. She watches too much Photo Finish, you know, those shitty daytime talk shows that tend to rot soccer moms’ brains. 

“Won’t you be quiet so I can talk to my daughter—“ 

“You don’t tell me to be quiet! I’m not a child!” There they go butting heads. All they ever do is argue all day then wear out their bed springs at night. It’s constant screaming between the two of them, and that too is super recent. “Get the door open already! Don’t you hear that?” I put the clippers on a higher setting so they make more noise. “I’m gonna call the ambulance!” 

“Just wait! I’m about to get in there!” He jiggles the knob with more force than Windy could muster. “I’m setting your ass ablaze the second I get my hands on you!” He’s yelling at me now. I keep clipping. Purple is gone. I got blue left and I debate keeping it since it matches my skin tone. “You’re about to get it!” He slams his shoulder against the door. 

“You better not! Not while she’s—“ before Windy could finish that sentence he slams against it again, and now a few bolts fly from the hinges. I turn the clippers off, pull my pants down, then sit on the toilet. To really stick it to the man I could take my shirt off, but Bow doesn’t deserve to see my tits. 

He slams against the door again. 

It flies open. 

“I’m in here! What the hell?!” I throw a roll of toilet paper at him then stifle a laugh when his eyes grow as large as saucers. Still, Macho Man must prove to the world that he's the alpha dog. He’s just gotta bark for us bitches like any of us are even impressed. 

“What the hell did you do to your hair!?” Bow stomps towards me and grabs me by the arm. 

“Ma! I’m on the toilet!” I shriek at her to get her husband. Windy is a sucker for whining. It’s easy to melt her heart. 

She pulls on Bow’s arm like he pulls on mine. “Don’t be so rough with her or you’ll hurt the baby!” His free hand goes for his belt and she goes for it too. “I think not!” Windy starts screaming in his face and he screams right back, and now they're both yapping bitches at each other’s throat. 

Bow drops me in the heat of their argument. Guess he isn’t gonna make good on his threat to set my raw cheeks ablaze. I get right back on the toilet to take a piss as I watch the both of them get red in the face from all the shouting. At least I got my fucking hair cut. 
> School!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What ‘bout Apple Danish?” I love Wednesdays. We get first period off for chapel, but if you’re sneaky as fuck you can totally hide away in the bathroom for that whole hour. No teacher bother’s to check since their all in Mother Celestia’s ass. And God says—eat your apples and don’t do crack. “Apple Tree?” 

“Why’s it gotta be apple anything?” I decided to wrap my remaining hair in colorful elastic bands to mourn the rainbow that was slaughtered this morning. They wrap from the root all the way to the tip like a beaded curtain. I think it adds uniqueness to my already awesome appearance. 

Applejack is in the farthest stall from the door. I can hear her stream devolve into a tinkle, before it goes silent and I assume she wipes. She flushes before she answers me. “Family tradition. I told ya this before.” Her blonde hair is in a neat Prench braid, and I swear I don’t know how she does it. So orderly and for what? We’re in a fucking charter school which is technically a public school that can get away with teaching the Bible. I used to go to an actual private school that costs, like, 15k a year, but since I was athletically gifted I got in for zero dollars and zero cents. “Apple Crumble, Apple Pie, Apple Peach Pear Orange ‘r another…”

“I like that last one.” Her braid is just bopping around like it’s got a mind of its own. I told her it makes her look so fucking plain, but apparently that’s what her grandmother wants. She comes out of the stall doing up her jean shorts. It has a hard time with the added weight so she doesn’t even bother to zip up her fly, instead letting her long t-shirt hide it. “You could go with Fruit Salad.” 

AJ ignores my comment. “What happened to your hair?” 

I had to wear a beanie to school half because Windy made me, and half because I wouldn’t be allowed inside if Mother Celestia saw I was rocking the baby-ass look. She already doesn’t like me. “What? You don’t like my side rat tail?” I twirl my head around to make my few remaining strands whip. I swear I’m like a cool ass scorpion right now. 

Applejack turns on the faucet. “I ain’t gonna lie to ya, RD. It looks pretty fricking stupid.” 

I smirk at her as I bite my nails. There’s a piece of skin that’s just under the corner of the bed. It’s like this stubborn painful shitty ass thorn that refuses to let go. I’ve been trying to rip it out since last night, but all I’m doing is forcing more spit in my fingers.

 “Good. I like fricking stupid.” I’m scrolling through AJ’s phone since Bow stole mine. I don’t use social media anyway, it’s fucking stupid, I just use it to talk to her brother without my parents knowing. “What about Apple Bloom?” I say. It’s not my idea, Mac literally texted it right now after I told him about the dumb apple names. He doesn’t even have an apple name. The fuck kinda apple is a big macintosh? 

“Apple Bloom…” AJ repeats it. She rubs her belly which is something I could never do. I fucking hate looking at mine let alone thinking about names. “Imma ask Granny ‘bout it but I like it a lot.” She comes closer to peek over my shoulders to see what I’m writing. I don’t let her see that Mac gave me the name. I definitely don’t let her see our very private conversation. “You gonna come over tonight?” She asks me. 

“Only if I can get a ride and if Bow and Windy don’t find out.” Mac asks if I can come over too. Probably not, my parents are fucking helicopters, I swear to God. If they just disappeared out of my life this wouldn’t be a problem. Mac’s like one of the coolest dudes in this fuck town, plus his truck has godly rims, and he likes me out of like dozens of hotter chicks—not that I’m not totally a number one baddie. But, like, he’s something out of a teen movie. I mean he’s that hot. I’m sure if Mother Celestia actually paid attention whenever he rolled up she’d cream her granny panties, I mean that hot.

“You in trouble or something? Can’t you tell them you’re gonna study, I mean it ain’t lying if we actually are gonna study.” 

I kinda give her a side glance in surprise. AJ suggesting I tell a half fib? Totally unheard of. “I don’t know.” I continue texting. Neither one of us say anything for a while, and that’s only because I’m talking to Mac. and she’s reading what I’m writing. He mentions a scary movie, and hell yeah I’m down for that. If only I could go. 

“What you gonna name your baby?” AJ asks when the bell for second period rings. I don’t respond because I don’t know. 
> Off the Rails!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, Canterlot Catholic is a chain of schools. They got one in, like, every major city in the country, but this one is the only school with a teenage mother program. Think of it as Special Ed but with a bunch of knocked up idiots. I’m only a month in this class and I already want to get off the short bus. It’s supposed to help us still graduate on time while learning how not to kill our kid, but what if I don’t want to graduate with my peers? What if I want to get a GED like all the other cool teen moms outside of Ponyville?

AJ and I got our babies around the same time. We literally took our pregnancy test at church, and we were literally both hysterically crying, like, so much that her grandmother had to come in, and wasn’t she in for a shock when she saw the pee sticks. I don’t remember why AJ had the tests, and I don’t want to think about why I decided to take one with her, but whatever. We’re like wombmates now. So I don’t talk to the other bitches in my class, I rather not make too many friends. It’s, like, better to just have acquaintances, you know? Like AJ is the first person I got this close to in a very long time, and that’s because I lost an old friend when I was, like, 8. It’s not important, I tell myself. It’s long ago and I have my own problems to deal with now, but I can’t help but wonder if she’s alive or halfway across the globe. I don’t like thinking about it, though. 

“Ms. Lulu, you never said the test was today.” A hand shoots into the air after the comment was made. If the girl was smart she would’ve known it was supposed to be the other way around. 

“It’s Ms. Luna, please Trixie, and I did inform you a good two weeks in advance….As I always do.” Ms. Luna is tall and mysterious. We all suspect she lives a double life fighting crime in Fillydelphia since it’s got a bad tweaker problem and she has a big heart. I heard she’s been to jail before, and her sister was the one to put her there. Can’t trust family nowadays. “I’ll give you ten minutes to look over your notes. How about that, girls? Shall we do a quick review before we begin?” 

Everyone groans a yes. I know I didn’t study for a math test since I’m not even good at it anyway. I’ll fail this one, and Ms. Luna will just pull me aside during lunch to break down the questions, and as long as I’m following close enough along she’ll change my grade by a letter. 

“Let’s pair up while I start the timer.” 

I’m already sitting next to AJ. She has her textbook open reading through it with a constipated look on her face. I poke her side to get her attention. “Mac said he’s going to a rap concert on Friday. Since when did he listen to rap?” He always does. He’s the one to introduce me to it, but I want to talk instead of work, and this is a good enough conversation starter. 

“He don’t even like country if that’s where you’re going with it.” She pokes me back. “Racist.” 

“How am I racist?” Applejack is what the old toads would call earthen—whatever that means. It’s probably a slur. “I mean, you like country music.” 

“I was just playing with ya.” She flicks me on the forehead. I pull my beanie down. “That concert is 21 plus. He said they’ll be serving drinks so they card at the door.” 

“Just gotta pull out my old fake ID and I’m in.” I so don’t have one of those, but I suspect they aren’t that hard to make. 

“You’re 15, and look every darn day of it too.” AJ flicks me again, and now I’m about to chomp her fingers off. “Plus, I don’t like that type of stuff anyway. When my cousins are over it might as well be a whole carnival, and it’s the worst damn time.” She gets all weird again. She does this thing where she bites her lip when she’s trying to hide something. AJ can’t lie, she’s like cursed, I swear to God, so when there’s something she can’t share, she has to stop herself otherwise the truth will come tumbling out like my drunk uncle from a port-a-potty. “I pray every night they ain’t ever gonna come back.” 

“Your cousins?” I ask. She doesn’t respond. “This isn’t about you anyway, AJ. I was asking to see if I could go to that concert.” 

She has a bit of an attitude now. “And I told you you can’t cause you ain’t 21.” 

“All she needs is a little makeup and she could fool anyone.” We hear a voice butt itself in and it's from the desk right behind us. There’s this bitch named Rarity that thinks she’s the next Fleur De Lis, but she’s nothing but a Ponygram model, if that. She playfully pokes her manicured nail into my back. It’s like cat claws, even shaped like them too, and I have no idea how she passed dress code with them being so long. “I can show you a few looks after school today.” 

I turn around to look at her. She has this voluptuous hair that covers her right eye like one of those cover girls in a magazine. It puts my side scorpion stinger to shame. “Like, at my place?” I ask since she has a pretty good face full of makeup, and I could mistake her for like early twenties if we weren’t sitting in a high school. She obviously knows what she’s talking about, so why not take her up on her offer?

She has her eyes on AJ’ braided ponytail. “Sure, I’m alright with that—“ 

“Can’t. Her dad don’t allow it.” Applejack is studying the textbook again, but I can see her brows stitching like she’s trying to look focused, but she’s failing at it. 

I roll my eyes. “Please, Bow is a fucking bitch. I run my house.” And I puff out my chest. 

AJ scoffs. “Okay, Bulk Biceps.” 

Rarity laughs too, covers her mouth while she does it, as if it’s too uncouth to see her smile. She pokes AJ’s spine with those same painted cat claws. “You can come too if you want. I mean, not to just invite myself where I’m unwanted, but it sounds like her parents at least know you, and I assume you visit often?” 

“That’s only ‘cause her mom goes to my granny’s church. She knows I’m the good influence innda friendship.” AJ shoots me a look and sticks her tongue out. I stick my tongue out at her right back. “She ain’t know you.” 

I butt in now since AJ is clearly trying to hog me for herself. She’s weird like that. “Just come with us after school. Bow will get to know you, and if you aren’t acting like a total idiot, he’ll probably think you’re alright.” I’m sitting with my stomach against the back of the chair. We’re face to face, me and this Rarity chick. She tucks her hair behind her ear before sucking up water from her metal straw. There’s pink lipstick all over it. She’s got one of those over the top fancy bottles that says Vaycay Bea. It’s stupid. 

“Okay.” 

“Alright girls, shut your textbooks and get out a pencil and a sheet of loose-leaf.” Ms. Luna gets up to turn on the big lights so we can see better. I prefer it when she has the lamp on, and she apparently likes it too since it reminds her of night. She goes on and on about it sometimes if we ask the right questions. It’s the best way to get out of a lecture. “And Rainbow Dash, turn around, head forward, eyes on your paper.”

I secretly flip her the bird below my desk just so she can’t see it. AJ pinches me. I flip her the bird too. 
> Trainwreck!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here. You better rub some of the makeup off before my dad sees you.” I hand Rarity a wet wipe. The three of us are waiting on the front steps of the school. We get to leave before everyone else, like a good half hour before the final bell, since we’re in the special class. It has its perks and privileges like the fact we don’t have to wear a stupid uniform either, but Mother Celestia is still on my case about skirts below the knee. It’s only me too, I swear she lets AJ wear whatever the fuck she wants. I can’t just come to school in jean shorts and cowboy boots. 

Rarity takes the wipe. “Your parents are pretty strict, huh?” She brings it to her eyelids and scrubs the blue shadow off then moves to getting rid of her foundation. I notice she’s cotton white so without all the makeup she looks like a sheet of paper. Her lips are pretty. They’re kinda shaped like a lumpy heart. 

I sit on the steps. The stone chills my ass, so I spread my legs a little, and my stupid skirt falls down my lap. “Nah, they’re fucking crazy. Bow literally broke the bathroom door this morning because I locked it.” 

Rarity folds the wipe when she’s done with her face. I watch as she shoves it in her shoulder bag. I wonder how the hell she fits all her school shit in there. It's just that small. “That does sound pretty insane.”

“Uh, yeah. No kidding.” I itch beneath my beanie and spot Mother Celestia standing at the top of the steps looking down at us. She has a walkie-talkie in her hand and a clipboard in the next. I wait for her to go back inside before I ask Rarity, “how many weeks are you?” And I point to her poorly hidden belly under her frilly shirt. 

She looks down at it. “I don’t know the weeks, but I think I’m 5 months?” Now she’s folding her arms over it and she looks uncomfortable. “You?” 

I don’t want to answer that and I don’t have to since Bow pulls up in the SUV. He honks before he rolls the window down. There’s a Bluetooth in his ear and isn’t he just in the middle of a cherry little conversation. I get up first, motion for the both of them to follow. They drag behind me a few feet. Bow isn’t even looking at us now, but laughing while he pulls a soda from his cup holder and takes a sip. I wait for him to get nice and hydrated. 

“My friends want to come over.” I say loud enough to talk over the chump on the other line. 

“Huh?” He’s distracted, deaf and dumb. 

So I say, “Applejack and Rarity are gonna help me with a history project.” I’m trying not to have an attitude, but God, is it hard. “I can always go to their house instead.” 

He presses a button on his Bluetooth. “Who the hell is Rarity?” On cue, she pokes around me and waves. Bow waves back. He talks quieter now. “No visitors, not after this morning.” 

“It’s for a history project.” I repeat with a bit more of a whine in my voice. He hates when I whine so he usually gives in to shut it up. “Okay, guess I’m gonna fail, and become an uneducated teen mother, and just become another statistic.” 

He pushes the button on the Bluetooth again. “Hold on, Blaze. Lemme call you back.” I don’t know if they heard me, I don’t even know if that stupid button on his stupid Bluetooth mutes Bow or mutes the other person. By how irritated he looks I can only assume it mutes the other person; Blaze. He hangs up and I just get a sore feeling in my throat when I hear that name.

Bow scoots me over to get a view of AJ. “Do you guys have a history project?” He knows way too much. He knows she can’t lie. 

Applejack’s eyes are darting around for an out. “Uh, well—“ 

“Yes, it's a group project on shared ancestral grounds.” Rarity speaks up like she knows too much too. “Applejack and I are both Ponyville natives, but we are also required—hold on one second. I’ll get the assignment sheet.” She starts digging through her bag like there really is a paper about this made up project. She’s doing this for a handful of seconds, even adding in grumbles and comments like, where is it?

Bow stops her. “Alright, alright, but make sure your parents know where you’re at.” 

“I already told granny.” AJ takes her bag off as she reaches for the door handle and gets into the back seat. 

Rarity follows her. “My parents won’t mind as long as I’m home before curfew.” She scoots in next to AJ despite her taking a window seat. I decide to sit next to her since I would rather not sit next to Bow in the front or he’ll think he has a license to question my every life decision. I’m so over the lectures. 

The door shuts and we sit in silence for a minute. “We can go now.” I have no idea what the fuck he’s waiting for. 

Then he turns around to stare at the three of us. His five o’clock shadow is looking more prominent in this light. I always thought it clashed with the purple skin. “What’s your parents number? I want to make sure they know where you’re going.” 

“She said they don’t care as long as she meets curfew.” I kick the back of his seat. He’s always so fucking embarrassing and paranoid. 

“I’m not talking to you.” He tries to grab at my leg but his seatbelt stops him. I kick his seat harder just to see his face get redder. 

“It’s alright, I can give you my mother’s number.” Rarity pulls her phone from her purse. “Or I could call her right now?” She punches in numbers then extends her phone towards him. 

“Yeah, that’ll do.” Bow takes it. We can all hear it ring for a moment before a muffled voice picks up. “Hey, this is Bow Hothoof, and I got Rarity in the car with me…” he goes off talking super loud and I just plug my ears to block him out. Rarity has a friendly smile on her face like this isn’t the most unnecessary thing ever. 

I lean into her. She smells like a Victoria’s Saddle store. “I’m so sorry you gotta experience this.” 

Rarity leans into me. She smells like too much perfume, but it’s not really that bad. “That’s okay. I actually find it very sweet.” She then turns to AJ and whispers to her. “I bet your parents are the same.” And then she giggles without knowing that AJs mom is dead and her dad is in prison. 

“I live with my granny.” And Applejack is hugging her school bag like it’s a teddy bear. With her braid resting on her shoulder, she looks out the window to avoid a conversation.

Rarity doesn’t say anything afterwards. There’s this distant look in her eyes. She tugs on the purple hairbands around her wrist, pulls on them, lets them go so they slap her. It leaves a red mark on her pale skin.

“Oh you’re currently on vacation?” Bow looks at me through the rear view mirror. “Whereto?” We all can hear a voice yapping on the other line. He nods but keeps looking at me as if I’m Rarity’s mom. “The Crystal Empire? Gonna go see that wedding in person, huh?“ he gives a forced laugh. The lady says something else I can’t hear. “So uhh,” and he swallows and I know he’s about to ask a super inappropriate question. “Who’s currently watching your daughter?” 

Rarity stops slapping her wrists with the bands and I kick his chair again. There he goes again just poking his nose where it doesn’t belong. “None of your business!” I yell over his shoulder and he just swatts me away and keeps talking. 

“She’s 16? I would say that’s hardly old enough to…oh, okay…no I understand.” He gives another fake laugh. “She does look very responsible.” Then he gives Rarity a smile and she flashes one back. “Alright, then ma’am it was good talking to you.” He nods like a doofus as her mother says something. “Now, what did you say your name was again?” She says something. Bow repeats it, “Cookie Crumbles, it just slips off the tongue.” They share a polite chuckle, the type that adults do when they’re kissing ass. “Alrighty, bye-bye.” He hangs up and hands Rarity her phone. 

“See, she already told you it was fine.” I remind him, but he’s just looking at the three of us from the mirror. Bow has that face that says I’m about to say something inappropriate, but this time he doesn’t, and thank God. No one wants to hear him shit on her parents just because they don’t parent like he does. Not everyone is fucking crazy, and honestly I would prefer if my royal pains-in-the-ass took a vacation too. Imagine all the freedom I’d get. 

Bow turns the ignition and takes the car out of park. 
> Spike Collar!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You weren’t lying about the bathroom door.” Rarity takes a seat on my bed. Her eyes are all over my room just scanning all the trophies and soccer, tennis and baseballs. I got rackets in the closet, bats against my dresser, hockey sticks hanging on the wall. I collect sports equipment like a junkie collects needles, and like a junkie I over use the shit too. It’s my vice, and I’m not living if I’m not beating an opponent on a field. Can’t wait to get back to that life. Windy immediately pulled me from the school’s basketball team—and I was on the boy’s team—when the doctor confirmed I am pregnant. 

Rarity plays with the medals dangling from my bedpost. I got a lot, and I’m damn proud of them. Rainbow Dash, the fastest girl in Ponyville—no all of Equestria, and soon everyone will fucking know it. 

“Told ya. They are legit crackheads.” I take my beanie off to let my scorpion stinger breathe, plus my head is sweating like crazy. Rarity screams when she sees it. “What?” I say.

She’s pointing at me like I got a giant tumor growing out of my neck. “What happened to your hair!?” 

Applejack sits crisscrossed on the carpet despite us not allowed to do that while pregnant, or so Ms. Luna claims, but she’s never had a baby so what the hell does she know? “She shaved it this morning.” 

“Yup! Everything but the blue since it matches my skin.” I shake my hair so it can run wild like a herd of horses. Despite my better efforts someone could still see where the red, and yellow, and orange is supposed to grow. I definitely didn’t achieve the shiny bald look like I wanted. 

“I just…” Rarity holds her face in horror. 

AJ pulls a few books from her bag. She opens up a history textbook like we’re really gonna do that made up project. “I learned not to question her.” 

“And you love me for it too.” I tackle AJ from behind in a suffocating hug. She fights to get me off her back. And we do this roughhousing often, but I know we would absolutely never fight for real. 

“Quit it, Dash!” The both of us start wrestling. She flips me over, pins me down. She’s way stronger than me, taller too, but I’m short just like Windy. I curse my midget genes since it often means I have to push even harder in every sport I try. But AJ is stronger than most girls our age. She's built like a draft horse, and it could be because she lives on a farm. I’m about to say uncle to get her sweaty pits from my nostrils when her phone rings. She lets me go to look at it, then she sits up as she lets it ring. 

“Who’s that?” I wipe sweat from my cheek. 

AJ doesn’t say anything, but I watch her place her phone face down on my carpet. Clearly she’s trying to hide something from me but failing miserably at it. I go to reach for her device but she snatches it before I can. It stops ringing then. 

“It was Mac, wasn’t it?” Oh, I’m mad enough to punch her for that. 

“Is Mac your boyfriend?” Rarity gets up from the bed then crawls to sit next to us on the ground. Her belly hangs below her, it looks bigger now that her shirt isn’t pressed against her body. She dusts off a spot beside AJ. “Is he the father?” 

She’s asking too many questions. I don’t give her an answer, but I do place my finger to my lips to shush her. “Not so loud.” Then I point at my lack of a door. Bow must’ve taken it down when I was at school. I’ll need to put a curtain up for privacy. 

Rarity cups her mouth and nods. 

She’s trying so hard to please us that I feel kinda bad about AJ’s cold demeanor, so I decide to answer one of her questions. I motion for her to get close and we all make a huddle. “He is my boyfriend.” 

Rarity giggles. “Oooo…I gotta see him.” I nudge AJ to get her phone. She hesitantly slides it over and I punch in her passcode before scrolling through the gallery. I find my favorite picture of Big Mac; him showing off his new tattoo on his ripped bicep. It’s his mother’s name and it’s in the exact same location of his father’s. They got identical tatts; Mac at a parlor and his dad in a cell. It’s so fucking metal, and that doesn’t even begin to describe the cute look on his face, the lifted pickup in the back, or his sexy hair. He looks like a majestic stallion. 

“Oh my god, he’s hot as fuck.” Rarity takes the phone to get a better look. “How old is he?” 

I try to stop my face from getting all red. “23.” 

She gasps. “Rainbow Dash, naughty.” Then playfully smacks my thigh, and I gotta hide my face under my t-shirt to stop from smiling so much. For a moment she’s chuckling and AJ just sits there with that annoyed look on her face. “Do you guys wanna see my BD?” Rarity is digging in her pockets now to retrieve her phone. There’s a cat chain that hangs off her fake marble case. It says Vaycay Bea. Her long nails tap on the screen while she types. It makes those clickty clackty sound like a pair of heels. 

“What’s a BD?” Applejack asks as she wipes crud from her eye. 

“Baby daddy. Oh! Here he is.” Rarity turns her phone around so we can get a good look, and Applejack gets super fricking flustered. I’m talking tomato, fire truck, strawberry juice red. 

I can’t stop laughing when I realize it. “Oh my God, AJ! He looks dead on like you!” I hold my gut and roll around like I’m an escaped mental patient. 

Rarity rubs the back of her neck. “Does he?” And I can tell she knows he does. It’s so fucking obvious. “I met him on a cruise in the Celestial Sea last spring break. We sailed by crystal glaciers and the sun was always so high in the sky.” There’s stars in her eyes. “It was absolutely beautiful, might I add.” Then she tucks more hair behind her ears. “And romantic.” And she’s looking down now from slight embarrassment. We kinda get the picture. A boat, a glacier, two lovers? She’s just lucky their little trip didn’t end with some impromptu scuba diving. “He currently lives in Los Pegasus, so I haven’t seen him since then.” 

Whipping a tear from my eye, I ask, “Does he even know you're pregnant? What’s his name? Flapjack?” 

But before she could respond, AJ shuts her textbook. “I ain’t wanna hear any more of this.” Her face is so red she looks like her brother. I can’t stop laughing, so she shoves me. “I’m gonna leave if you don’t stop, Dash.” 

“I can get the makeup and show you some easy, yet mature, looks now.” Rarity quickly says. She obviously doesn’t want AJ to go, and it’s probably because she looks like her BD. I stop laughing when Rarity empties her bag on my carpet. There’s a bunch of tubes of lipstick and sticks of mascara. She has a whole case of eyeshadow as big as AJ’s textbook. “Unfortunately, I do not have your foundation shade, but I can buy a few swatches sometime tomorrow, and then bring it to school on Friday just so we have time before the concert.” 

“That’s really kind of you, Rarity.” Makeup is so not my thing, but listening to blasting rap music with Mac is, so I’ll compromise. 

She starts preparing her brushes. “Close your eyes for me, dear.” And I do as she says. Honestly I’m kinda curious to see how this will turn out. 

“How are ya even gonna go when your parents are a pair of hawks? They hover over your every move. They ain’t gonna allow it.” Applejack’s thigh bumps against mine. I can feel her prickly hairs poke me. Neither one of us shave, not like Rarity’s bald legs. Fuck that, but AJ’s hairs hide better than mine since they are blonde over macaroon skin. 

“I got my ways.” And that’s all I’ll tell her. She doesn’t mean to, but it’s hard for AJ to keep a secret with her curse. All my dad has to do is call her grandmother, get her on the phone, and ask the right questions and she’ll reveal everything. “How much is this all gonna cost? Like the foundation and stuff?” I turn my attention back on Rarity. She’s brushing something over my eyelids. It actually feels pretty relaxing.

“Don’t worry about it, dear. Consider this my civil duty to help a fellow lady out.” She picks up another brush and I peek behind my eyelids to see her do it. “Have you guys picked a name yet?” 

I purse my lips. This is not a question I wanna answer, so I don’t even bother with lying. I just shake my head. 

“Dash suggested Apple Bloom, and I like it a lot. I’m gonna tell my granny about it to make it official.” Applejack places a hand on her stomach before snatching it away like it hurts. I know the feeling. I don’t blame her. “What about you?” 

Rarity lights up when she gets a question thrown back at her. She’s probably excited because her female BD is finally giving her some attention. I smirk. 

“Yes! I knew it the moment I found out I was expecting.” Rarity picks up a pencil next, only it’s way darker and shorter than a regular pencil. It’s like a sharpened down colored pencil. It’s like a makeup pencil, or whatever. “I’m going to name her Sweetie Belle.” 

“That’s a darn cute one. Bet she’ll be as sweet as a muffin.” AJ leans back and uses her hands to prop her torso up. “Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.” 

Rarity is giggling. “Our babies are gonna be the best of friends. I’m calling it now!” 
> Spring!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bow usually wakes me up for school. He also tends to wake me up way too early, even on the bloody weekends. Today he doesn’t. I roll over a few times to fight the sleep away. Half of me is convinced that it’s still, like, 3 in the morning and I can so sleep more, but the sun is peeking through my blinds to tell me otherwise. Man, if only I could just ignore it. 

I hear Bow downstairs. He’s laughing way too loudly, which isn’t new. The guy tends to wake up before the sun does. Windy’s the opposite. She could sleep in until afternoon, and yet she isn’t a night owl either. She just likes to sleep. I can hear her voice too, smell breakfast, and this gets me to sit up. There’s a digital alarm clock on the nightstand next to my bed. It’s got a dirty t-shirt and an empty chip bag covering it. I snatch it off and throw the junk on the floor where it belongs. 

6:52 am.

Bow gets me up at 6. School starts at 8, and we leave the house at 7:15. So right now I might be late. I quickly throw my blanket off as I search for something to wear. There’s no time for a shower, not that I take one every morning anyway. I skip every other day, didn’t shower yesterday, so I’ll have to when I get home tonight. Fate would have it that there’s no more clean skirts in my drawer. I’d wear these same spandex shorts, but Mother Celestia would so send me home before I even step foot on school grounds. 

“Mom!” I yell at the top of my lungs to cut through all the bullshit laughing. No one responds, so I stomp through my open doorless doorframe to make demands up face and personal. I know for a fact she heard me, oh, I so know she did. My foot brushes over the same sheet I tapped up last night. Bow must’ve snatched it down while I as asleep like the prick that he is. God, I hate him so much. “Windy!” I’m skipping down the stairs at this point, tripping over my feet, but I’m agile as fuck, so I never fall. 

The archway to the kitchen is at the bottom of the steps and on the other end of that is the archway to the dining room. Windy is sitting at the table staring at her work laptop. “What is it, Rainbow?” She has this sweet little voice, and she only ever acts this sanitized at church. I even called her by her first name and that usually gets her to yell right back at me. “Why aren’t you ready for school?” I can see the screen reflecting off her glasses. Her shorter haircut is combed and it looks like she brushed her teeth and wiped the crud out of her eyes, so now I definitely know we have company. Now I’m folding my arms over my chest to hide my skittle tits. Now I’m really annoyed.

And now is time to make my great escape. “I’ll go get—“ 

“Rainbow Dash! Come say hi!” Damnit. I groan. Windy was speaking way too loudly and my presence was detected. I really rather not talk to some old lady from the church, or our schizo neighbor, or—

I see the colorful streaks before I see him. The room gets all weird, I swear it’s in my head, but the room gets smaller, darker. He looks behind his shoulder then gets up from the couch with that kind smile like he’s a kind person. “Hey, Dashie. Long time no see.” 

Bow is sitting on his lazy boy and he’s talking to him like their good fucking friends? And I guess they are, and I guess that makes sense. “Don’t just stand there and stare at him.” Bow’s getting up now. “It’s Rainbow Blaze, your mentor?” He says that like I don’t already fucking know, like I don’t recognize the guy. And he has this look on his face like he’s mad that I’m being rude, but I’m really not doing it on purpose.

 I have freaky painful knots in my stomach. 

“Hi.” I say, and now I’m really regretting coming down here braless and in tight shorts. Blaze is staring at my belly like he’s looking for something, like he knows, and I know I’m not showing yet. The doctor said I’m only 7 weeks. 

“Thought I’d come by and see if you're ready for the season, maybe do a few stretches, a test jog around the block.” He’s messing with his keys in his pocket. I can tell he’s nervous by how far his smile stretches. “But uh,” he swallows a lump down his throat. “Your old man was telling me you’re currently on a break from track. Don’t tell me you picked up another sport.” And he pretends to be shocked, betrayed by the thought of it. I don’t know why. I used to play soccer last year in middle school, and he was definitely there for that. So I kinda just shrug. 

Windy said we shouldn’t tell everyone about the baby. Some things just aren’t other people’s business. 

“Well, hey. I’m here to support you in whatever direction you decide to take your athletic career, and if you need a bit of a break I understand that too.” He smiles at me with straight rows of white teeth. My eyes are burning so bad. “I definitely see you going pro at the Equestria Games. You’ll send the competition packing.” He extends a lame thumbs up. 

My head is hanging a bit and I didn’t mean to do that. I wonder what he thinks about my haircut. I wonder if he finds it absolutely monstrous like Rarity did. I wonder if I cut it all off if he would scream too. So I don’t respond and I look at Bow with brewing tears that I absolutely refuse to let fall. 

He’s just so clueless. 

“Alrighty, Rainbow Dash. We’ll let you go.” Bow shakes his head like that was so hard to say, to do. “God, I swear she acts like we’re torturing her,” 

Blaze softly chuckles, and I take that as my chance to really leave before I say something that’ll make Bow embarrass me further. “She’s always been like that. That stubbornness will get her far.” I grip the railing, but before I go upstairs I glance over at Windy. She’s got her face in her computer, totally ignorant of this freaky asshole staring at me. Bow even more than her.

They’re so fucking clueless and I hate them for it. 

“Hey, are you game for catching hoofball this Sunday?” Blaze loses that nervousness on his mug.

“You don’t even gotta ask, man.” They both start talking sports, and I’m just climbing back to my room with my finger in my mouth trying to rip that loose piece of skin off. 
> Seven!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Good morning, Ms. Luna. This is Rainbow Dash Hothoof calling.” 

Mac waited so patiently in the parking lot until I got here. He even waited until Bow pulled off to approach me, and since I get to school earlier than most students, it’s just the two of us. It’s so romantic how devoted he is to me. 

I’m in his truck now, and he hands me his phone so I can get outta school without my parents knowing. “I’m in the car with my mom right now, and we’re on our way to my doctor's appointment.” Mac doesn’t know I’m pregnant, I don’t even think he knows his sister is too. He doesn’t really know all that intricate stuff at his home since he spends a lot of time working or hanging out with his cool ass cousins. They made a mixtape and it’s like all over the internet. I definitely see this guy becoming a famous rapper in like 2 to 3 years. 

He looks over at me with his pretty green eyes and smiles. 

“Hmm?” Ms. Luna asks about the listed doctor appointments provided to her by Windy. It’s a requirement for the class, but she should know these things aren’t set in stone. It’s all just fricking random sometimes. I roll my eyes because she’s being suspicious for no damn reason. “Yeah, it’s last minute because I’m having belly pains.” 

Mac mouths something to me. He mouths just hang up, and, like, he’s right. I don’t owe this woman an explanation. 

Ms. Luna asks to talk to my mother. “She can’t. She’s driving.” She asks to go on speaker phone. “Okay, well we’re at the clinic now, so I’ll call you back later.” And I hang up quickly before she can ask anything else. “Bye-bye Ms. Nightmare.” 

“Ain’t that an understatement.” His drawl is really deep. It reminds me of a saxophone sometimes. He has his hands on the stick shift and I can see the veins underneath his ruby skin. I lift his phone to sneak a picture and he catches me by flashing a smile. His teeth aren’t as bone straight and perfect like Blaze. He has long canines, uneven incisors, off-white all around. It shows his imperfections, it makes him human, and not just this amazing pillar of the community who’s gonna take me to the big leagues one day. “Whatcha doing over there, little lady?” He forces an exaggerated cowboy accent, playfully tips his hat, before putting it on my head. My heart is fluttering like a fucking hummingbird, and it’s so stupid, but I like how he makes me feel this way. 

“Nothing. Just getting the angle right for your album cover.” I sneak another photo, but I now put my bare feet on his lap. My skirt reels up and he steals a glance at my boyshorts. They are actual boy underwear since they are the least sexiest thing ever. No laces, no frilly bows, or stupid cute bunnies. Just a solid, boring old red. They ride up my buttcrack just the same as panties though, but the front has extra space, so I don’t mind the wedgie. 

“AJ don’t even wear those.” He pinches the meat of my thigh, bites his lip. 

I giggle like I’m in preschool. “How do you know what your sister’s underwear looks like?” I playfully joke, and he gives me this knowing look with that cocky smirk of his. 

I sit up a bit to force him to elaborate, but he quickly changes the subject. “So what we up to on Friday? You gonna be my plus one, or is this bull riding solo?” 

I take my feet off his lap and rest them on his dashboard instead. “I don’t know…Applejack said they card people at the gate. I probably can’t go if that’s true.” 

“It ain’t.” His smile drops. “Don’t know why she went and told ya that.” That doesn’t make sense since AJ can’t lie, but also Mac wouldn’t lie about this either. He looks equally confused about this, and I’m at loss for words. 

His eyes are on the road now. We get on the highway and he’s going pretty fast. We merge behind a truck with two twin dweebs in bow ties and barbershop shirts holding up a bottle of hard cider. “Good shit right there.” He’s pointing at the truck with all four fingers. 

“The cider?” I ask. 

“Ciders shit, but folks ain’t buying that from them.” Then he chuckles to himself, laughs about something I don’t know, and he won’t tell me more. 

I open his gallery app to see the pictures I took, and there’s an album with no name but a peach emoji. I can see the most recent picture is AJ just from the blotches of colors, but it’s too small to really make the photo out. The album has over a hundred photos, which I mean, it’s a lot for a guy who barely takes pics. Before I tap on it, he snatches his phone away. It’s shoved in his pocket since he drives with only one hand on the wheel. 

We sit in silence for a while. It’s, like, really awkward. 

The cars are all just passing us by at high speed, and my eyes are watching them like a dog with a bone. They’re blurs, lines of color. I watch them. He’s kinda scary when he gets quiet, and I really don’t want to feel, like, scared of him. It’s my fault I know that. I know I shouldn’t have been so nosy. I bite on my nails unsure if I should apologize or not. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, so I just say, “yeah, I wanna go to the concert with you tomorrow.” And I take my feet off the dashboard and sit up straight. 

He caresses my cheek, his way of forgiving me, I guess. “Good. We gon have to fix that haircut first, though.” I kinda don’t want to, but I also really want to make him happy, so I nod and agree. 
> Screw Face!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Braeburn is Mac’s coolest cousin. He’s a cattle farmer which isn’t the cool part, he also has horses and they are gorgeous. But the coolest part is the fact he’s a bull rider and really good at it too. He let me help him out once, like the last time I was here with AJ and her grandmother. I’ve never visited with just Mac before. 

There’s something else he does. He calls it the family business, calls it apple selling, but honestly there are no apple trees here. He has this huge barn, though, and AJ mentioned something about not going in there the last time. I think he keeps the apples there. AJ also mentioned something about her dad getting 25 to life for selling the same stuff—like what the fuck? I swear this nation is wacko shitfaced crazy for that. 

“Mackie!” Braeburn calls from his front porch. He has his hands cupped over his mouth to amplify his voice, and he’s shirtless so I can see his tattoo of a galloping mare on his six pack. So. Fucking. Hot. He said he’d get a pegasus on his neck for me. I laughed then, but I’d so like to see that. “I done called you Monday and you’re only now dragging your ass down here?” He climbs down his steps with his cowboy boots and basketball shorts. They so don’t blend, but it’s all apart of that new alternative style—or I guess it’s just something he wears around the farm. It works so well, I swear to God.  “And looky here. You brought a dime piece with ya.” He bows at me then kisses my hand. 

“Real classy.” I sarcastically say, and he winks, and now my heart is fucking trying to jump out of my chest. I feel fuzzy inside and I think he can tell. God, he can tell. 

“I see ya.” He quips then pinches my cheek. His hands are cold, stiff, and I know that if he really wanted to he could hurt me really badly without much effort. “Where’s AJ? She gon join us?” Braeburn is talking to Mac but he still has his eyes on me. “Got cold booze in the fridge and some,” he flicks at his nose. It’s like an inside joke that I don’t get. 

“We ain’t here for that.” Mac takes his cowboy hat off my head. My scorpion stinger tumbles out and smacks me on the forehead. 

“Sweet Mother Marey! You get in a fight with a lawnmower!?” I can tell he’s holding back a laugh and I rather he didn’t. I know my hair looks fucking ridiculous, that’s the point. 

So I puff my chest out as I say, “Two actually.” He slaps his knee like it’s the funniest thing in Equestria, and I try not to look like a loser doofus.

 It takes him like a handful of seconds to calm down before he motions for us to follow. “Well then c’mon. Got my fucking work cut out for me.” He turns around and I can see a list of names and dates running down his spine. Most of them start with Apple. AJ was right, their family is super obsessed with the fruit. Like, Bow, for example, didn’t name me after himself, or even Windy. I’m named after his best friend. I would rather be an Apple. 

Braeburn is sagging a bit, and I can see his deep back dimples and the band of his boxers. I’m just sorta standing there staring when Mac lifts me up and places me on his shoulders like I’m some little kid. His head goes under my skirt, and I hold onto his face so tightly that I’m practically suffocating him with it. “I ain’t gon drop ya.” I can feel his voice vibrating up my belly, so I don’t tense up so much. “You gonna guide me or can I get my sight back?” I hike my skirt over his head and he looks up at him. “Now I can see those pretty magenta eyes.” And I’m blushing so much that I kiss his forehead to take the attention off of me. He rubs my leg lovingly as we start moving. It feels like I’m riding on the back of a stallion. 

I’ve never had a boyfriend before Mac. We haven’t even been together for long and I already wanna spend, like, the absolute rest of my life with him. I told AJ that last week, I told her just that, and instead of being excited at the thought of being my sister-in-law she changed the subject to avoid lying. That meant she had nothing good to say, but she’s the one who introduced us. Two months ago she invited me over, told me to stay in her room, and when she left to get us a glass of OJ, he popped in and introduced himself. AJ got all awkward when she got back, told me he was her brother, and then she wanted to do homework in the kitchen instead. She should know what love feels like, though. I mean, since she’s having a baby too. 

“Does Applejack have a boyfriend?” I ask when we get into the farmhouse. Mac shuts the door and takes his boots off. 

Braeburn turns so quickly I swear he’d snap his neck. “She better the hell not!” Even though he’s smiling, I don’t think he’s joking. Family is everything to them, so I understand her cousin being super protective. It’s kinda sweet. 

We’re standing in his living room. Inside of his house is really nice with a bunch of expensive stuff. Farming makes a ton of money, I think. Bow used to work for the news station in Cloudsdale and we never had all of this brand name shit. There’s a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall playing an action movie. Braeburn mutes it before he picks up a magazine with, like, baking soda on it that’s separated into lines. I see a credit card covered in the junk and a powdery rolled up dollar bill too. It’s weird, but I pretend not to see it since he’s trying to hide it.

 “Why’d you ask that?” Braeburn gets a dining chair, places it in the middle of the room, and Mac sits me down on it. “You know something we don’t?” He winks at me again. 

Regardless of how cool these two are, I could never snitch on AJ. Friends for life and friends keep each other’s secrets. “Nah, I was just wondering.” There must be a reason she didn’t tell anyone about her BD. I guess we really are alike. “What kinda style are you gonna give me?” 

Braeburn puts a towel over my shoulders then gets his shaving kit out. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, you’ll see.” He pops an all white cigarette between his lips but doesn’t light it. I watch as he reaches around me for his phone even though there’s a bunch of space, like, all around the coffee table and it would’ve just been easier to get it on the opposite side. I can feel his beating heart against my bald head. There’s this scent of sweat and hay on him, and I don’t know if it’s a bad smell or not. He connects his phone to a speaker before playing his music. “It’s gonna be punk, baby.”

I snatch a glance up at him when the beat starts, a vocalist cuts in, sings slowly at first. “What’s punk?” He forces my head back as he cuts on the clippers. 

“Mackie!” And he’s dragging the end syllable for dramatic effect. “Mackie, you got a lotta teach her.” Then the drums happen, and there’s screaming lyrics, and there’s this energy that no boring pop song or hymnals could ever produce. I swear I feel tingles in my toes and I swear I can’t control my smile. “That’s it, missy. Feel that shit take over.” I don’t realize I’m rocking my head to the beat until I feel the clippers nip my ear and Braeburn leans down to suck on it. 

The music just stops then, not really, but I no longer hear it. The room is dark and small again. All my mind can focus on is the sensation of his tongue and this creeping fear. 

I look over at Big Mac who is reclining on the sofa with a beer can in his hand. He cracks it open and slurps it down, not even looking in my direction. His cousin is sucking on my ear and he doesn’t react at all. He’s as purposefully clueless as Bow. I want to yell at him for that, but Braeburn is no longer touching me, so there’s no point. 

“You should come over more often. Sure can teach ya a lot.” He’s whispering in my ear. I don’t say anything, so I guess that’s why he gets back to fixing my bad shave job. I can feel his crotch poking at the back of my head, and I don’t say anything about that either. I just kinda wanna leave now, but I’m scared to say that, so I just sit there and stare at the muted movie as he and Mac start talking about the concert. 
> Big Dummy!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

School ends at 4, but Bow picks me up at like 3:30. It’s a little after noon now, and I’m hiding in Braeburn’s bathroom. He has porn mags on the back of the toilet. I don’t even look at them as I got my eyes on my new hairstyle. It looks good. He left a bit of a side swoop with the blue and he gave the rest of my head a clean fade. The top will definitely be longer than the rest of my head when it starts growing back in. 

I can hear a hiphop song through the closed door. I obviously don't know it since my parents monitor all my music because they are fucking obsessed with me. I guess I like it. I don’t even know anymore. My heart is beating way too fast to even pay much attention. 

There’s a girl on the cover of the porn mag. Pink hair, purple skin, huge blue eyes. She’s staring right at me, I swear. I try to ignore her, but her eyes are like calling me, telling me to pay attention. I sigh and I decide to just look at it to get this over with. Naked chicks with big boobs and ass? What’s the big deal? It’s, like, so not impressive. 

The cover is all crumpled. I don’t even get to open the first page before something falls out of it. It’s a polaroid and I’ve never seen one of those in person. It looks as vintage as in the movies. Braeburn has all the latest tech but an old school camera? It’s kind of quirky, I guess, so I squat down to pick it up from the back of the toilet. It’s got this smooth texture, it’s a bit wet, and I turn it around to see what’s on the other side. 

AJ is staring at me. She’s on a bed. She has no pants—

“You okay in there, little lady?” There’s a knock on the door that causes me to jump. All the blood in my face just drains as I feel like I’m back in Cloudsdale, in that community center, just dreading having to leave the female locker room. I rush to tuck the picture back into its hiding place. He knocks again. I put the magazine down and flush the toilet. 

“Coming!” I turn the tap on next and give the bathroom one last look to make sure it isn’t obvious that I was snooping. My heart is still beating. My face is still pale as fuck. Braeburn is standing right in front of me when I open the door. “I really like the cut.” I say as casually as I can. 

He’s staring at me all funny. It’s the way Blaze does sometimes and it makes me really want to just go home. “Why thank ya, ma’am.” He’s using a funny voice but it just makes me more uncomfortable. “You feeling peachy keen?” There’s this lump in my throat that’s hard to swallow down when he leans down a bit to meet my gaze. I just turn my head away. 

I’m still smiling because, I mean, I’m so not gonna show I’m scared or anything lame like that. This guy is so cool, right? I should, like, not be scared, but I’m also really confused right, and I’m just trying not to cry. “Is Mac still in the living room?” 

“He’s actually ‘bout to head out real quick to pick something up for me.” My heart sinks. Braeburn sees it by how small my pupils get. “Don’t worry now. He’ll be back before sunset.” 

“Wait, he can’t leave without me because I gotta be back at school at a certain time—“ I see Mac in the hallway behind him gathering his keys from a glass bowl near the door. Braeburn is still in my way. I quickly duck under his arm before he could try and reposition himself to block me. “Big Mac, can you take me back now?” I’m practically sprinting at him. 

He turns to look at me. “Eeyup,” he’s putting on his boots, using the wall for balance. “When I get back.” 

I’m trying really hard not to cry. “No. Now.” I demand and my eyes are burning so badly. 

“C’mon, Dashie. You ain’t wanna listen to more music with me?” Braeburn’s directly behind me, touching my shoulder, and this causes me to put my back to the wall instead so I can easily see the both of them. “Listen to this one? Don’t that beat make you wanna move your body?” He sways and snaps his fingers. 

I’m clenching my fist now because that’s not what I want to do. That’s not even close to what I want to fucking do. “Big Mac, take me home.”  I was trying to sound stern, but now I’m just whining like a brat. “Please.” I add in hopes it’ll better persuade him. 

Mac and Braeburn exchange a glance. They’re speaking a telepathic language and I just feel so in the dark. There’s a moment of this. 

“She ain’t wanna stay, she ain’t gotta stay.” And Braeburn shrugs, but I can tell he’s irritated. 

Mac puts on his other shoe then opens the front door. “Let’s go.” He says it super coldly, and now he’s making me feel like I’m a bitch for wanting to go home. 

I push myself off the wall and I try to find my own shoes quick enough to catch up with Mac. He’s already off the porch. “You’re welcome whenever,” Braeburn is still standing there just watching me. I feel like if I don’t hurry I’ll be stuck in here with him. My stomach really hurts now and I don’t know why. My legs also feel funny and I can hear my heart just pounding in my eardrums. Mac’s truck beeps and he’s getting in. “My place is yours.” I just grab my remaining shoe and bolt out of there. 

I’ve never ran so fast in my life. 

When I get to the passenger side, Mac doesn’t help me up like usual. He just starts the engine and waits for me to get in by myself, but his truck is like super lifted and I’m pretty short, and my legs are shaking, and I’m just crying. He’s looking at me like I’m just so fucking annoying, and I don’t understand what I did. I didn’t mean to anger him, or offend him, or even Braeburn. 

I just want to go home. 

I eventually make it in. “I’m sorry, Mac.” And that’s me sniffling and snotting all over his seatbelt when I put it on. He doesn’t say anything to me. He just turns the radio on and drives. 
> Real Pain!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more embarrassed in my life. Not even Bow could make me want to just roll the window down, crawl out of my skin, and let the wind blow me away. I rather be dead meat off the freeway than, like, a bother to anyone really, but mainly to Mac. 

We don’t talk the whole ride back, I mean it’s absolute silence, and Braeburn lives an hour away from Ponyville. I’m looking up at the clouds wishing I had a pair of wings to fly away. I’d probably be the fastest thing in the air too. I’d probably be the fastest thing alive. 

We turn into town. Ponyville is like this mix between Cloudsdale and hillbilly central. Cloudsdale has a really nice downtown, cute suburbs, and the best track team in the nation. Ponyville is mostly lower income, religious, and full of teen moms. Not much comparison. I don’t know why Bow moved us down here. I don’t even know if I love it or hate it, but I do know I would rather be here than there. 

At least we’re not stupid Rainbow Blaze’s neighbor anymore. 

“Got something I gotta get at home. You fine with stopping by there real quick? Still got bout an hour til the bell.” Mac’s voice spooks me since he’s been so quiet for so long. 

I adjust myself in my seat. “Uh, yeah…sure,” but I can already see he’s heading down there regardless since the school is in the opposite direction of the road we’re on. He probably only said it to announce his intentions so I don’t start crying again like an absolute baby. I’m so fucking embarrassing. 

He returns to his silence. 

When I met him for the first time he was like this too, just quietly observing everything. He came into Applejack’s room looking for something, and when he saw me he kinda grinned a bit and asked if I was from AJ’s class. I found his stoic demeanor cool, and I think I still do. I don’t know what I think anymore. 

“Good lord.” He mumbles under his breath when we make it up his long driveway. I sit on my hands to add height to properly see beyond his hood. My parent’s silver SUV is parked in front of the house and Bow is talking to AJ’s grandmother with this panicked expression on his mug. They pause and look over at the truck when it comes to a full shop. I quickly duck out of sight, but I know he saw me, we made eye contact. 

This was the absolute worst thing to ever happen, and I just escaped from Braeburn’s creepy ass bathroom. I’d pull my hair out, right this minute, if I didn’t already shave it. 

Mac turns the truck off. “What are you doing? You gotta drive away.” I’m holding the back of my neck like bombs are about to fall. “C’mon. We still got time—“ 

My door swings open.

Bow grabs my arm and snatches it so hard I swear it’s gonna bruise. He’s pulling me from the vehicle, but my seatbelt keeps me attached like an umbilical cord, and this all hurts a lot. I’m crying all over again, screaming for him to stop, but now he wraps around me to undo the buckle. I’m carried out like I'm a screeching toddler. It’s so fucking embarrassing. “Daddy! Calm down!” Now he’s just like Big Mac because he doesn’t respond to me while he’s hauling me towards the SUV. “Daddy!” 

Windy gets out of the passenger side. I’m thinking she’s running towards me at full fucking speed to either hug me or scream her face as purple as Bow’s, but she passes the both of us. I shut up to witness my insane mother kick at Mac’s truck. “Bastard! Get the fuck out the car!” She’s yelling at the top of her lungs so loud that the dog in the house is barking like crazy. “I’ll kill you! I’ll fucking kill you, you freak!” She picks up a rock and smashes it against his windshield. It shatters then she picks up another rock. 

Bow throws me in the back of the SUV. “Don’t you move.” And the look he gives me makes me shut my trap and obey. I hear their grandmother say something along the lines of heavenly father and something like what are you doing? But Bow slammed my door at this point, and he too is approaching Mac’s truck. By now Mac got out to grab Windy’s wrists. Bow punches him right in the side of the jaw. Mac’s head swings and he lets Windy go. Bow goes in for another hit, and I shut my eyes now. 

I didn’t mean for this to happen. 

My stomach hurts again, and now I’m just gripping at it and trying to ignore the sounds outside, the shouting, the dog barking, the punching. I just messed up real bad and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. 

There’s a slam behind me. I look up to see Windy getting a tire iron from the trunk. My heart is racing now, there’s like, no way she has good intentions with that. So I open the door to see Mac and Bow tussling on the pavement, but I’m scared of what Bow would do if I get out. I stay put with absolutely no idea what the fuck to do. Windy raises the tire iron over her fiery head. She waits for an opportunity to strike Mac. 

“I’m calling the police!” Their grandmother is rushing towards the house. She’s a really kind lady and so doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of this. 

“Call them! Tell them you’re grandson is a fucking pervert!” Windy slams the tire iron on the back of Mac’s knee, and I scream for her to stop. Both Windy and Bow look towards me. “Get back in the car!” They say it in sync, and they’re so fucking stupid because I am in the goddamn car. I don’t yell at them though. They’re both super hyped and super scary right now. 

The dog bolts from the front door before AJ’s grandma even has a chance to step into the house. She’s barking and snarling at the interlocked men, and like if I didn’t know she was the sweetest fucking dog ever I wouldn’t be so surprised. Bow has Mac in a tight chokehold, and I swear he’s trying to kill him. The dog probably knows it too because she’s biting at Bow’s forearm and he releases enough for Mac to elbow him and slip free. Windy’s now trying to get the dog to let go of Bow and their grandmother is doing the same. “Deer lord!” She screams, and I swear her old heart is about to give out.

Mac hops into his truck, reverses, and rips down the driveway. 

I shut my eyes again expecting that to be the end of it, especially when the dog finally lets go. Instead of my crazy fucking parents allowing this whole thing to just die, the both of them are sprinting to the SUV. “Get his fucking ass!” Windy yells as she eggs on Bow. “Run him off the road!” They’re speeding after Mac, but he’s long gone. 

There’s blood all over the dashboard. Windy is screaming, Bow is screaming, and I’m screaming to just go home. 
> Windbreaker!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s raining tonight. Most times I don’t really think much about the weather, it’s just something that happens, rain I guess. I got the window open tonight just listening out, and maybe I find it a bit peaceful. It helps me not think about stuff. I can just shut my brain off and let the sound of the pattering water take over.

Windy and Bow were talking an hour ago, arguing as they always do. They were on the phone with someone, and I wonder if it’s Blaze. I wonder if they’re telling him absolutely everything despite it not being his business. I wonder if he’s going to make another surprise visit just to see if I’m still dating Mac. 

I hate it. I hate them. I hate everyone.

I hate myself too, and I hate the fact that I’m having a baby. My hand is on my belly. It doesn’t hurt like before, my legs aren’t shaking, but I can feel this heat there. Ms. Luna mentioned how small a fetus is at the start of a pregnancy. If they're as small as a bean they’ll probably not feel anything if their life ends. I just want them out of me since it’s all their fault. My life wasn’t this bad before. I was a star athlete. I was amazing. Bow and Windy won’t allow me to end it, though, and Ponyville doesn’t have those special kinda clinics. If you get a baby you're just stuck with it until it comes out. 

I roll over on my stomach. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and something. I haven’t thought about a name—

“Dashie? Are you asleep?” There’s a soft knock on my doorframe. I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Windy. She comes in despite me not saying anything. I don’t get to have a lick of privacy in this prison, so I was expecting it. She approaches my bed, lifts my covers, and climbs in next to me. “How are you feeling?” Her legs are cold. She wraps around me and pulls me against her chest. “Today was scary, wasn’t it?” 

There’s this sadness in her voice and I don’t know why. If today was so scary she wouldn’t try to murder Mac with a fucking tire iron. Bow wouldn’t try to choke him to death. I push away from her and she only holds me closer.

“What do you know?” I grumble. 

“I don’t know much,” she admits, and I’m glad she’s finally seeing how useless she is. “But you can let me know. You can tell me.” 

I can’t. I can’t because if it was already in her stupid face, and she didn’t see it, then what can I do? What could I possibly do? And I know what she’s referring to, and I know she wants me to just cooperate, but I can’t. I won’t. 

The questions begin. “Where did you go today?” 

“School.” I lie. 

“Rainbow Dash.” She’s squeezing me now, and I just let her. “How long have you been seeing that grown man? Is he responsible for this?” 

This? Like the baby? “No.” And I don’t want to tell her that it’s only been a month with Mac because it’s not her business. 

“He fixed your haircut?” She’s running her hands against the fuzzy top. “He did a good job.” 

“His cousin did it in his living room.” I bite my tongue after revealing that. I don’t want to tell her more. I don’t want to tell her how Braeburn made me feel, how he touched me, or about the thing I found in his bathroom.

“Cousin? Is he also an adult?” Obviously. Does she think another stupid teenager could ever get away with doing a decent job at cutting hair? So I let my silence be my answer, and I think she understands, and I think she gets it. “Did his cousin also force himself on you?” And that question comes so out of left field that it gets me trying to pull away from her again. Windy is stronger than she looks, though. “Rainbow, stop!” She thinks yelling at me will ever get me to behave, but that’s not how this works. I won’t. I refuse to. “Rainbow—“ 

“Just get outta here! I don’t wanna talk to you!” I scream at her right back, and now I’m getting all in my head, and now I’m thinking about AJ and the picture in that bathroom. But Mac isn’t like that and he didn’t do that to me, and he wouldn’t, and I swear it. We haven’t even kissed, not on the lips. 

Windy is crying, and now I am too. “Oh, Dashie. Just talk to me, please.” She’s begging at this point. “Someone hurt you and I know it, so you tell me if it was him.” 

“No!” I scream just so she can get this dumb idea out of her head. 

“Then who?” She sucks in a breath. I can feel her snot on my haircut and I’m still trying to get free. “Was it daddy?” She’s whispering now. 

I could puke. “No! Of course not!” Bow was an annoying crazy bastard, but he wasn’t some perv. 

“Then tell me who!” 

My head is spinning, my legs feel funny, and I’m just back in Cloudsdale mentally. I’m running. I’m running as fast as my legs would allow me, and the wind is passing through my hair and I swear I feel on top of the world. I’m back in Cloudsdale, mentally, I’m back there and I’m not okay. I don’t feel as free like I should on the track. I don’t feel like the fastest thing alive, but like a rabbit who’s running for its pathetic life, and I don’t want that. I don’t want it. I told him I didn’t want it. I told him so many times. 

“I can’t.” I’m sobbing more than Windy. I don’t even feel her hugging me anymore, now I’m just in my head. Now I’m just stuck in a town I hate, in a body I hate, with a man I hate so much. “I can’t.” 

It was right in front of her face. Why couldn’t she see it? Why couldn’t she do something? 
> Crash!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’m at my locker. There’s stickers all over the inside of it from, like, ten years back. I didn’t place any of them there, but after my first day I did draw a cloud with a lightning bolt through it. I don’t know why, but I feel like the symbol really speaks to me. AJ drew in my locker too with her own little logo, and we both put our initials in it so in ten years whoever has my locker next will know we were the bestest of friends. I shut the door. 

Rarity is standing right next to me with a huge smile on her face. I nearly jump out of my skin when I see her. “Good morning,” she waves. 

I wave back. “Good morning.” She has a black and white shopping bag in her hands. I stare at it waiting for her to tell me what she wants me to do with it. I’m not the fucking janitor. 

Rarity is blinking like there’s something in her eye. “The foundation for the concert tonight.” And she’s still holding that smile of hers. It’s super strained, and I can tell by how the corners slightly twitch. I wonder if she has any friends. Almost everyone’s seen her Ponygram—like most teens don’t have over 10k followers—and she always looks so rich and put together in her pictures. There’s hardly ever anyone else in them though. I think I saw a cat a few times, but that was about it. 

I take the bag. “Thanks,” I don’t tell her I’m not going to the concert anymore. I don’t tell her Mac and I aren't dating anymore. I don’t tell her I’m super grounded—or maybe not? Bow and Windy didn’t say anything about my punishment this morning. The both of them just acted like things were normal, like extra normal, like before Windy took me to the doctors and my life ended. “And hey,” I pat at my pockets for any loose change. My parents tend to give me lunch money whenever I don’t pack one.  

Rarity shakes her head. “Oh, no. Honestly, no need.” To ease my mind, she adds, “it wasn’t that expensive, and I needed to pick up a few lipglosses anyway,” she digs in her purse and retrieves them to prove it. “Blossom Pink is so in this season.” I shrug because I wouldn’t know, and I wouldn’t really care even if I did. She tucks her hair behind her ears. There’s a bit of lipstick in her teeth, but I don’t say anything. “Do you want to eat lunch together—“ 

“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack is at the end of the hall with her fists balled up. It’s practically only the three of us out here this early except for a couple of the nerds that think getting to school on time will make them smarter. They are staring at her and we don’t really get stares, not as much as Rarity who’s showing. AJ’s usually really subconscious about the gawking, but right now her eyes are super honed in on me. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask as I watch her stomp right up to my locker. There are thunderclouds over her head, I swear it. I can just see the blood boiling beneath her macaroon skin, and boy, is she so about to explode. She doesn’t even have her hair in its usual braid. 

She jabs a finger into my chest. “Did you make your parents beat my brother up!?” A bit of spit sprays on my cheek. She’s asking but she probably knows the answer. 

“I didn’t make them do anything—“ 

“The cops came and arrested him last night, Rainbow! My granny damn near had a heart attack!” She jabs me again and I shove her back into Rarity. Not on purpose, or course not. I’m expecting AJ to quickly apologize since she’s raised right and that’s what a well mannered girl does, but she keeps screaming at me like everyone else. “He’s still in there cause of something you done said! You lie on him!?” I know she has a sensitive spot about law enforcement and prison in general because of her dad. Honestly, I didn’t think my parents would call the cops on Mac. If they thought I was gonna talk to any detective they’ll have another thing coming. 

“I didn’t!” People are staring at us. “I wouldn’t! My parents are crazy, you know this.” 

“When they got him they mentioned funny charges, Dash.” She winces like the thought hurts. “Mac’s truck was busted up along with his knee!? We should be the ones to call the cops on y’all!” 

When she says that I kinda feel this betrayal because, well, my parents were overreacting, but Mac was a real jerk. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe they weren’t wrong. Maybe I don’t know, but I definitely wouldn’t intentionally try to hurt AJ.

“You tell them people the truth right now! Mac ain’t did shit to ya!” She steps in my face. She tells the world our business, and maybe I’m mad. Maybe I’m just scared, and hurt, and frustrated. 

“Yeah, and what about that picture of you!?” I don’t stand down despite AJ being way taller than me, and I mean I saw her bend a fork before, and she’s got this look in her eyes like she wants to bend me like that fork.

“What did you just say?” Her drawl is intimidating right now. She’s got blonde strands just loosely dancing to the beat of their own drum, just everywhere like bedhead. There’s smoke practically blowing from her nose. Right now she’s one of her cousin’s bulls. 

I don’t back down, and mainly because I want to know what’s going on, and I’m stubborn, and I want her to realize how ridiculous and awful it is for her own flesh and blood to have such a picture of her. I can see the pain in her eyes, though. We really are the same. 

“I saw it. I know what Braeburn has in his bathroom—“ before I can finish, she punches me like Bow punched Mac. My nose is split open and it’s just pouring blood. I hold it, shocked, but then upset because I shouldn’t be the one she’s mad at. So I tackle her and we both slam against the lockers. 

I’m pulling on her hair. “Oww..you bitch!” She shoves my head back and I go for her scalp. Rarity is like flapping her arms around. She’s this dumb flightless chicken, and I’m tugging on AJ’s hair to get her to let go of my hair, and we both don’t. My grip on hers is stronger, so strong I’m bringing her head down to my level. We both twirl like a pair of interlocked bucks, just swinging our arms hoping a punch or two will land. 

“Girls!” We’re torn apart by Ms. Luna. She has a stern grip on me making the spot we’re Bow grabbed me hurt worse. “What are you doing!?” Despite it sounding like a question, it’s not. She doesn’t scream at me, like my parents or AJ, she just sort of raises her voice. She’s just sort of disappointed, I guess. 

Neither one of us gives her a response, and we don’t have to since she’s hauling us down the hall as the bell rings.
> Anymore!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

She’s on her knees with her hands grasp tightly together. I see she’s bowing, I hear her whispering, and though she has her back to me I know her eyes are shut. There’s this statue in front of her. It’s Mother Marey cradling a foal, and I’m just staring at her dead stone eyes, and I’m just wondering how her robes don’t get all dirty from muddy hooves. The foal is pure as a lamb, clean with an obsidian coat almost as dark as Ms. Luna. There’s a celestial halo around the statue's head. The stained glass windows have the sun and moon, two horned mares around it. They practically glow. 

Maybe I’m licking the blood from my nose wound. Maybe I’m just folding my arms and huffing, and wondering why I’m here and not with the school nurse. Maybe I’m hoping she’d get off her knees and stop chanting so she’d pay some attention to me. They aren’t real anyway, the statues. I don’t want a lecture on God or anything, I just kinda want her to acknowledge me. 

I wait for Mother Celestia to finish her prayer. 

It’s a minute later. I found a spot in the back of the pews. There’s a Prench textbook in one of the little shelves. I pick it up and flip through the pages to give myself something to do. There’s doodles of the Power Ponies—or I assume they are Power Ponies. The art is shit—next to a worksheet. Whoever Time Turner is, he's pretty good at this whole school thing. I know I wouldn’t get anything more than 60% on a test, let alone a perfect score.

There’s suddenly a white handkerchief in front of my nose. It spooks me enough to get me to jump. “I didn’t intend to startle you.” I look up to see the kind eyes of Mother Celestia. She dabs at my cut, and I sorta let her. “You know, you accomplish more with words than fists.” She has a crucifix over her long dress. I watched it dangle from her neck as she cleans the blood from my face. 

“Maybe.” I would tell her I didn’t start that fight, but that would throw Applejack under the bus, and I could never do that. I should’ve watched my mouth anyway. 

We sit there in silence for a moment as she finishes up. I oddly feel very calm, like the sort of tingling feeling you get when someone gently runs their fingers through your hair. “What’s on your mind?” She asks, and I realize I have my eyes shut. 

Now I’m pulling away like she’s Windy, and I already told that woman that I didn’t want to talk about it. I’ll tell her too if I have to. I don’t care if she’s a fucking nun. 

“Nothings ever on my mind.” I have my arms folded. “Why else am I pregnant at 15.” I know how people view me, and yeah maybe not every stranger knows I’m pregnant yet, but most of the school does just because of the special class. A couple of weeks ago people were all over Rarity’s Ponygram calling her a slut, a single mother, washed up before she even got started, and I mean, if Bow didn’t delete my social media I imagine I’d receive the same sort of shit. That stuff hurts, it hurts a lot. 

“You’re a child,” Mother Celestia is sitting next to me now. “You’re expected to make mistakes. There is no shame in your situation.” Her voice is so soothing. I don’t know if she’s doing it on purpose or not. “Especially if it was not your fault.” 

My heart drops. I already know Ms. Luna snitched to my parents about yesterday, but would she really go ratting to her sister!? And would she even know about Mac? And Mac is so not responsible for this, like, at all. I told Windy this already! 

“My BD goes to a public school in Cloudsdale, and he’s, like, also 15.” I lie. 

She raises a brow. “BD?” 

“Baby daddy.” I sound just like Rarity. “So don’t you worry about it. I know I’m 100% at fault.” Now I’m sitting up straight. “We didn’t practice safe sex,” she still has her brows raised. I remember what they taught in Sex Ed. I know the right thing to say to make an adult give a sigh of relief. “Or abstinence. Anyway, just suspend me already.” Or expel me. I already have a feeling she doesn’t like me much with all the rules she forces me to follow and not anyone else. “I know it’s coming.” 

“Luna used to be a troubled girl, and I used to claim to never know until it was too late.” Mother Celestia moves the only hair I have left out of my face. “All the signs were there, her behavior was screaming for help, and yet I ignored it for my own political career.” She’s looking at the statue again. I look at it too. The sun's still shining through the windows. “I was so swamped with work that when she called me the night before her…” She stops herself. I want her to tell me more, but I don’t say anything, and she keeps going anyway. “Before I knew it, I’m sending my own sister to jail and wondering how such a sweet, lovable girl could commit such a crime, but I knew, Rainbow Dash. I knew she was suffering by the look in her eyes.” She’s staring at me now, and I’m staring back at her. “You share that look.” 

I don’t like the way she’s seeing through me, reading my thoughts, reaching my soul. I clear my throat then try to think of something to get out of the impending conversation. “I didn’t know the rumors were true. I never took Ms. Luna as a jailbird.” 

She doesn’t acknowledge my comment. Instead she rests a comforting hand on my back. “Are you ready to start your journey towards healing?” 

No. No, because I don’t need healing. I’m okay. I’m fine, and neither her, nor Windy, nor Bow know a thing about what I’m going through. 

“I don’t need your help.” I growl like I’m some rabid dog. She still has this gentle demeanor. She’s still not yelling at me when she should be. “There’s nothing wrong with me! I did it to myself!” I’m screaming through gritted teeth. I’m barking, frothing at the mouth. I’m just waiting for her to kick me out of school like she wants to, and I’m waiting for my parents to come get me with that same disappointed look on their face, and I’m waiting to bark at them too, and they bark at me like a couple of wild animals. 

She doesn’t do any of that. She rubs my back now, and I don’t mind it despite being so angry. I’m just so angry, I’m just so tired, and frustrated, and mad. And I think I’m also afraid, but I don’t want to be, and I don’t want to show it. 

“I spoke to your parents last night, Rainbow Dash.” I’m not surprised. I knew they were saying something to someone I just wasn’t sure if it was the cops or not. “They want to help you, and so do I.” I’m about to repeat myself, when she cuts me off before I can. “Whether you want it or not. I’d rather you not fall prey to the same destruction that consumed my Luna.” 

She has a Bible in her hands. She opens it to pull a photo out and hand it to me. There’s a large cozy cottage behind Ms. Luna and a group of smiling girls gathered around her. “This is what she’s been up to since her freedom. Your parents and I agreed that you should stay for a while to learn how to raise your unborn child, and maybe receive proper guidance back towards the light.” I’m staring at the picture like it just flashed me the bird. “And maybe you’ll begin to be honest with yourself too.” 

“This is a group home?” I ask and I can see that some of the girls have bellies. So now it’s just not the special class, but a whole house full of dumb stupid pregnant idiots? “My parents are throwing me away!?” 

“Of course not…“ she tells me but I’m not listening anymore. No, I’m screaming now. I’m screaming into my palms like an absolute maniac straight out of the looney bin, and I don’t care how crazy I look. I’m screaming at the top of my lungs. I’m screaming until my throat burns and my jaw along with it, and even when it burns, even despite that, I keep screaming. I swear I’ll shatter the glass, I swear I’ll break it along with everything in this room. I swear I won’t ever stop screaming.

But Mother Celestia only sits there and continues to rub my back. 
> Sick Girl Online!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo is a pretty funny sounding name. It kinda just rolls off the tongue. Scootaloo. What the hell even is that? It’s not like Windy, like a windy day. It’s not like Bow, which has like a million different definitions. It’s not like Rainbow, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Blaze—I fucking hate my name. 

Scootaloo. I kinda like it. 

The piece of loose skin beneath my nail is sticking out. I mindlessly gnaw on it like a zombie. 

“So what’s it gonna be?” Bow turns around in the driver’s seat. We’ve been parked here just sitting in silence for an unknown amount of time. I don’t keep count, I don’t care. “You gonna talk to us now?” 

I can see that cozy little pregnancy cottage staring me in the face like a bad opinion. We’re here. We’re actually here, and they are really gonna throw me away. There’s two large duffle bags beside me full of clothes and other shit from when I still did track. I scribbled my symbol on the front of it with a permanent marker so people know who owns it. Rainbow Dash; the fastest chick alive. “I can turn this car around and we can all go home if you just goddamn cooperate.” 

“Stop,” Windy smacks the arm that’s bandaged from the dog bite. “You’re making it sound like a punishment.” 

“It is a punishment!” Bow isn’t classy about raising his voice like Ms. Luna. He just amps up his base like a hollering caveman. 

It winds Windy up every time. “Don’t you yell at me!” And now they are arguing again.

I see this pink girl in the cottage window. She spots me and waves with this strange enthusiasm as if I know her. There’s this ungodly smile on her bubblegum face that should’ve made me cringe, but instead I find myself smiling too. She notices, lights up as bright as a bulb, then ducks out of view. I’m expecting that to be the end of it, for her to just disappear into the house, but she pops back up like she’s made of springs, and now she has a whiteboard in her hands. She scribbles something down then presses it against the window. It says, Hi! New Friend! With a smiley face. She then rubs her bare pink arm against the surface, scribbles something again, then flips it over. I’m Pinkie Pie! She’s super pink, so I think it suits her. 

I wonder what AJ is up to. I wonder if we’re still friends, or if she hates me forever. I should’ve known better than to get her brother in trouble, and maybe I’m wondering about Mac too. I doubt he loves me anymore. I doubt his whole family even likes me anymore after I was a big baby about staying with Braeburn, and I sent him to jail, or whatever. I wonder if AJ feels scared of him too. Probably, but AJ is the toughest, strongest, girl I know. She’s not scared of anything. 

“I’m done talking about this!” Bow slams his fist on the steering wheel, causing the SUV to let out a loud honk. “Can’t you see we’re trying everything and you just seem to get worst by the minute!” He’s talking to me, I know he is, but I don’t know why he’s so upset. I haven’t said a word the whole car ride here. 

“Oh, my little Dashie! We love you so much,” Windy breaks down into a pile of tears. I thought we went over this already? “Why won’t you let us make it better?!” She’s snotting into her cardigan, and though she has a pixie cut, her hair is all over the place. I know she didn’t sleep last night. I know I couldn’t when I was yelling at her to leave me alone. “Please just talk to us so we can go home.” 

Ms. Luna is slowly climbing down the stairs. She has this uncomfortably polite grin on her face as she debates coming closer towards the car. I notice she has someone following after her, and I will admit that I feel a bit more relieved when I realize it’s Rarity. She is a familiar face, so maybe I won’t have to be alone. I immediately want to ask if she lives here too, but I think that’s pretty obvious at this point. It would explain why Bow just sorta accepted her mom vacationing in the Crystal Empire while her pregnant 16 year old is home alone. Is that more or less depressing?

“Are you listening to us?” I’m not. “You’re making your mother cry.” I sigh. 

There’s someone on the roof. I can barely make her out, but I can see the smoke from her cigarette and her equally fiery hair. I squint to make out her facial features when she sticks her tongue out at me and flashes the devil horns. 

Okay, so this place might not be that lame. 

“All we want is a name!” 

I manage to get that piece of skin from under my nail. It slices me with a sharp pain, it peels my flesh back a little, it barely bleeds, not like my nose this morning. Now that hurt. AJ packs a powerful punch. I fucking miss her already. 

“Rainbow Dash—“ 

I open the door and grab my bags. Both Bow and Windy look shocked as if they didn’t just bring me here to abandon me. I don’t say a word to them. I’d shove my middle finger through their snouts if I cared enough to, but I so don't. Whatever, I fucking hate them. 

I hate them so much.

The concert is in an hour. Both Mac and I are gonna miss it. I don’t even know the name of the rapper who’s gonna be there, but I still regret not going.