Jetstream Sam Slices Shining Armor Into Sushi

by The_Chill_Author

The Only Thing I Know For Real

Shining Armor was at the train station with his bags by his side, he was waiting for the train to pick him up from the Crystal Empire and head off into the mountains. As he waited he was approached by his wife, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza - Cadence for short. She had Flurry Heart, their child, in a stroller as she looked at her husband.

"You'll be gone for six months," Cadence looked into Shining's eyes, "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, but it's necessary, with all of these villains running amok, we don't really have much of a choice. I have to train the newest recruits, otherwise, even you would be in danger as well." Shining raised a hoof to touch Cadence's cheek, "No matter the distance, I'll forever be your knight in shining armor."

Cadence touched Shining's cheek with her hoof and pulled him close, the two touched horns, and a brief spark of magic flickered into the air. "Please, come back home safe, okay?"

Shining smiled.

"I promise."

---

"Captain Armor!" Shining snapped out of his trance as he glanced over to the Captain of the Night Guard - Night Glide, a bat pony. "They're waiting for you."

Shining nodded and put his helm on his head, he opened the door from his cabin and stepped out into the base. He felt the cold air fill his lungs and he looked around. He saw four massive walls surrounding the base, on those walls were cannons and ballistae, inside the walls were several cabins and empty plots of land for training. These four walls had been his home for the past three weeks, the fact that it had already been that long wasn't doing wonders for his mental.

All he could think about is snuggling on the couch, Cadence wrapped around his hooves, and cuddling together by the fireplace. Three weeks of this hell, and no sign of snuggles in sight. Shining dug his hooves into the snow and marched forth, he navigated through the base and entered the training fields where he saw thirty lower-rank guards all lined up together. All of them stood shoulder to shoulder and looked ahead. Shining trotted in front of them.

"TEN HUT!" Shining yelled, immediately, all of the guards saluted. "As you all may have gathered from the various news articles and the fact that we have TWO PRINCESSES IN THE HOSPITAL!" Some flinched at the ferocity in his voice, "We need better protection for our princesses, I wouldn't be here if all of you weren't so bucking pathetic at your jobs, yet I'm here and not with my wife. And for that, I want to thank you guys and gals by demanding you drop and give me fifty."

The guards groaned and looked at each other.

"NOW!" Shining boomed, the guards immediately dropped down and began doing push-ups. He glared down at them before glancing over at a guard that stuck out like a sore thumb. A Royal Guard who was red coated and was doing the push-ups easily. He trotted over to the guard as the guard was done. "Name and rank,"

"Uh, Fire Hearth, sir, Private First Class, sir." Fire Hearth responded, a bead of sweat rolling down his face as Shining narrowed his eyes.

"You've finished before everyone else."

"...What?"

"You truly are the cream of the crop."

"Oh god."

"You came first."

"Stop."

"I didn't expect you to last that long."

"Stop it."

"You must be very hard."

"For the love of God!"

"You must be up for round 2."

"Why?"

"What are you talking about?" Shining glared, "You must think you're the toughest finishing first, huh? Drop and give me twenty!"

---

Chill was cackling and clapping his hands together. He looked to the readers, "I know you're reading this shit, Fire Hearth, have fun reading that."

---

The five-foot-eleven Samurai of the Brazillian Wind marched through the snow, remembering what was told to him.

"Alright," Senator Armstrong looked at the Winds of Destruction. All of them had gathered in a small dark room with the only lighting being from the computers screens. Monsoon, Sam. Sundowner, Mistral, and Khamsin all stood together and faced their leader. "Monsoon, Sundowner, you two have done well dispatching the Princesses. Now, we have to take care of the rest, Sam, you go after Shining Armor."

Sam smirked, "Heh, guess I'm getting the easy job."

"Mistral, you go after Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."

"Ah, splendide, I get the girl." Mistral licked her lips which caused some of the Winds of Destruction to get shivers down their spines, "What?"

Senator Armstrong looked at Mistral for a bit before turning to Sam, "Ignoring the e-girl, Sam, I'm going to need you to not kill Shining during your first encounter. Humiliate him, make him want to chase after you. Then, I want you to lure him into Fillydelphia, where you can cause as much havoc as you wish. Destroy a skyscraper or two, burn down a hospital, and make them see who we are. Who are we?"

Sam tightened his fist, "We are the Winds of Destruction."

"Ah, there it is." In the distance, Sam saw the big walls of the Royal Guard base, he smirked and put his hand on the hilt of his sword. He didn't unsheathe it, not yet at least. Sam strolled up to the wall and looked at the defenses, on the ground were two Earth Ponies with spears, and on the walls were Unicorns manning the cannons and ballistae. He also noticed Pegasi armed with swords standing guard as well by the cannoneers.

The guards took notice of him and they all aimed at him.

"STATE YOUR NAME AND PURPOSE!" They all shouted simultaneously, Sam chuckled and put his hands up.

"Me? I am a man of many names, people call me Jetstream Sam or Minuano, but you could call me whatever you want. As for my purpose, I'm here to show you my RGB lighting, I spent three thousand dollars on it." Sam grinned.

"FIRE!" The cannons were fired and the ballista bolts were shot, as they came in close, Sam crouched down and readied his finger on the trigger of his blade.

Once they were in range, he pulled the trigger and sliced the cannonballs and ballista bolts in two, letting them fall to the ground. He slashed his sword in the air and got into a stance, "Let's dance." After he said that, loud heavy metal music began to play.

The two Earth Ponies bull rushed him with their spears in hoof, Sam watched as they approached and loosened his stance a little. As they jabbed at the Samurai, with a swift motion, Sam cut the heads of the spears off and let them hit the snow. Using the momentum, Sam spun around and cut off the heads of the Earth Ponies as well, "Four heads in two seconds, I could do better than that."

"FIRE!" Sam glanced up to see the cannons and ballistae being fired, he narrowed his eyes as time began to slow for him. he leaped into the air and landed on one of the cannonballs, and jumped over to a ballista bolt. He began to hop on the ammunition before he finally reached the wall. The guards' eyes opened wide.

"THERE'S BEEN A-" Before the guard could finish their sentence, Sam sliced their head off and looked to the other guards. The Pegasi flew at Sam from both sides, he simply smirked and jumped to avoid them. The two Pegasi smashed into one another and Sam came down, crashing his feet down into their skulls and splattering their brain matter on the ground.

Sam looked at the remaining guards as he swished the blood off his blade, some blood hitting the guards. "I'm giving you a chance to run, so, I recommend you take the chance." The guards immediately ran, disappearing from sight. He looked over the various cabins and saw a certain guard in the training fields. He leaped over to a cabin and landed on the roof, he jumped to another and kept up the pace. He grinned as he came closer and closer to Shining, and with one final leap, he shot towards Shining. Before the Unicorn could try to react, he was shoulder-checked and sent rolling across the field.

Sam adjusted himself and stood to his feet, he saw Shining on his side struggling to get up. Sam looked around and saw the guards too scared to approach, he scoffed. "Some guards you have, they don't even have the balls to even try." After he said that, a guard behind him rushed him with a sword overhead. Sam turned around and caught the sword with his cybernetic hand before shattering it into pieces. "Even still, I can see why, they're weak." With a mighty boot, he forced the guard to roll across the dirt path.

"You..." Shining stood to his feet and Sam turned to face him, "Your name, tell me your name."

"My name is Jetstream Sam, a pleasure." Sam sheathed his blade.

"Oh, I assure you, the pleasure is all mine..." Sam saw something in Shining's eyes, the very same thing he saw that night with Raiden. It was the intent to kill.

He liked that.

"Oh, good. Why, that's very good." Sam grinned as he circled around Shining, "Yes, I like that."

"Then you're gonna like this!" Sam turned to see Night Glide attempt to pierce his chest with a spear. Time slowed for the Samurai as he maneuvered his body to avoid the attack, Sam held the trigger and his hilt. He pulled the trigger and let his blade fly out, and with a step forward he cut Night Glide in two. Night Glide fell apart like a dysfunctional family and hit the ground.

It was quiet.

It was very quiet.

It was so quiet that you could hear the heartbeats of the scared guards all in sync.

Ba dump... Ba dump... Ba dump...

"I guess you could say he is half the man he once was." Sam cleaned the blood off his blade by using his arm, he looked at Shining with a grin. "With that nuisance out of the way, how about we start this dance?"

Shining quivered as his horn lit up, his sword was caught in his magic aura and he pulled it out of his sheath. He didn't say a word as he crouched down, ready to duel against the Samurai of the Brazillian Wind. Sam rushed Shining with his sword in hand, as he got ready to block the attack. Sam swung, expecting to cut Shining's sword in two, but their blades clashed and sent a spark to fly out into the skies. Sam went to the defensive as he saw Shining's sword slash at him, he kept on blocking the attacks. Sam's eyes narrowed as he saw what was going on.

"Oh, I see, you coated your blade in your magic so I could not cut through it." Sam mused as he gazed at the sweat roll down Shining's brow, "My compliments, Captain Armor."

"I don't need your compliments, I need you to get the hell out of here!" Shining barked, as he glared at Sam with eyes of fury.

Sam shook his head, "Oh no, no, no. I simply can't do that, you see, it's my job to beat you into the dirt."

"What master do you serve?" Shining inquired.

"What am I supposed to say? Jesus? Hahaha!" Shining growled and rushed Sam, the Samurai parried the attack and spun around to slash Shining's chest. But the Captain swiftly leaned back and avoided the attack, Sam went for more attacks and Shining clapped back with attacks of his own. More and more sparks flew into the sky as metal hit metal, but then, Sam sheathed his blade and pulled the trigger, however, he didn't catch it. He let his sword fly and slam the hilt into Shining's face, shattering his nose like glass and sending him rolling across the snow. Sam caught his sword as it fell down and sheathed it.

"To make this fair, I won't use my sword." He walked towards Shining and cracked his knuckles. Shining slowly stood to his feet, and picked up his sword with his magic.

"You will regret underestimating the Captain of the Day Guard!" Shining released his magical grip on his sword and fired bolts of magic at Sam. Using his cybernetic arm, he smacked the bolts away, some hitting cabins and making holes in them. Seeing this was going nowhere, Shining picked up his sword again and rushed Sam. Only to be flipped as he did so, Shining turned into a carousel in the air and hit the ground, landing on his back. Shining gasped as the wind was knocked out of him, he rolled over to his hooves only to be booted by Sam. Sam continued to kick the shit out of Shining repeatedly, and the guards were all gasping as they saw their Captain be reduced to a bloody pulp.

Sam grabbed Shining's hair and pulled him up, looking into his eyes. "I'll be back for you, bitch." Sam dropped Shining onto the ground and walked away from the base, no guard dared to try and stop him.

Shining will have his revengeance.

Comments

[PastyWaffles]

Shining will have his revengeance.

media.tenor.com/7UarUv_Z1QYAAAAd/gunna-fire.gif