This Ain't Compendium: Holidays

by Xfiles90210

Prologue

Holidays

Written by Xfiles90210

Prologue

Griffin Station, the Moon

After hours of struggling, hard-thinking and standing her companions’ crude and dark humor, Twilight sparkle was close to complete the riddle and escape at last. As she was running through the base’s tunnel while holding a golden rod and a Druganov sniper rifle at the same time with her magic, the others were following her and shooting down the undead that dared to get close to them.

“So much fucking running, this is no fun”, Nikolai said while holding an FN FAL semi automatic rifle with his right hand and a bottle with his left hand.

“Keep your mouth shut for once, Nikolai”, the violet unicorn replied upset and with stress, “be grateful I’m saving your lives, bunch of apes.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, fucking annoying horse.”

“You two shut the fuck up and keep killin’”, Dempsey interrupted as she shot a zombie’s head with his M16 rifle. “All right Twilight, what’s the next step?”

“I need to put this rod on the terminal that will give the mainframe enough power to get us out of here.”

“I might be wrong, but you start to speak rike Richtofen,” Takeo commented.

“Screw him”, she said while she was still trotting to the receiving bay after stabbing another zombie with a sickle, “I’ll make that son of a mare pay for sending me here.”

“Heh, son of a mare. Gotta remember that curse,” Dempsey smirked.

After she sighed at his reply, she stood in front of the sealed door that led to the base’s exterior. Since she was a unicorn, she couldn’t wear the Pressurized External Suit because it didn’t fit. She had to either hold her breath or cast an air bubble around her, but since Nikolai popped it once and almost choked, she preferred the first option.

“Why did we stop?” Nikolai asked and then said: “Not that I’m scared or anything, but those bastards are getting closer.”

The purple mane mare rolled her eyes, took a deep breath, held it and walked outside. The others put on their PES helmets and followed her.

“How come Princess Luna could stand this lack of oxygen?” she thought as her sight started to get blurry due to the lack of pressure. A moment later, she arrived at the desired destination and she could breathe again.

“Hey Twilight, guess what?” Dempsey said, “I’m outta gun juice. You better hurry up or those meat sacks will get us.”

“Not to worry, Dempsey!” Nikolai replied with a grin, “I still got plenty of vodka.”

“You rack disciprine, Russian dog,” Takeo said disappointed, “and this weapon has armost no burrets reft.”

“That’s what happens when you grab a small, rapid one”, Twilight replied sarcastically.

Nikolai laughed and then said mockingly, “that’s what she said, Tak. That’s what she said.”

“Okay, now you all shut up and let me think how to solve this, got that?” Twilight commanded as she was putting the rod on the computer’s terminal. She looked at the screen, smiled and then she used her magic to type on the computer’s keyboard.

“You heard the unicorn, now kill those freak sacks!” Dempsey said and then he pulled out his Commando assault rifle.

“If I run out of ammo, Dempsey, then I’ll have to kill them with my breath.” Nikolai said before taking a swig of his bottle.

“I wourd say banzai, but Takeo is no criché”, the Japanese said while pulling out his katana sword.

As the trio of humans was fending off the undead, Twilight’s smile was getting wider as she was hacking the terminal with ease thanks to her magic. Moments later, she yelled with a mischievous smile: “Yes, yes! It’s finally done!” she turned to her companions and said before running to the mainframe: “Time to get out of here!”

“Great, more running”, the drunken Russian mumbled, “I knew I had to drink the stamin-up-thingy.”

“I wonder where she wirr read us to,” Takeo said while ignoring Nikolai.

“Isn’t it obvious, Tak?” Dempsey replied, “She wanted to go home, guess we’ll be back at her...” he stood silent for a moment and then yelled: “Damn fucking shit, the rapists will recognize me!”

“Cheer up, Dempsey”, Nikolai took a swig from his bottle, trying to not to drop it while running, “at least we had good time, no?”

“At reast Ponyvirre has more honor than Russia”, Takeo said.

“Says the yellow horse’s pet.”

“Shut the hell up, god damnit!” Dempsey interrupted them and then turned to Twilight: “very well, unicorn. You better have an idea when we arrive to your fucking world again or else I will kick your ass!”

“Do you think I’m stupid?” the violet unicorn asked upset.

“Yes.” Nikolai interrupted, “blue comrade is smarter.”

“Who?” the American asked.

“Nevermind, Dempsey, nevermind.”

As the three humans and the unicorn were talking, they reached the door that lead to the base’s excavation zone, the place where the mainframe is located. The violet unicorn held her breath, went outside and jumped on it. The trio of humans did the same. Then, a burst of rainbow colored lightning surrounded the platform.

“Still too gay for me,” Nikolai said while watching the rays.

“Reminds me of that blue rapist”, Dempsey shivered.

“Princess Celestia, your faithful student will soon return”, she grinned in relief and she said loudly before disappearing: “soon!”

Comments

[Antonio Eclair]

This looks like a good story, I'll put it in my read later and I'll tell you what I think after I finish reading it

[xXUSSTXx]

Fuckin hilarious. Oh and one more thing MOAR

[Edward_Richtofen]

mein godt....

I am not gay! At least... Not in zis reality..... *shrugs*

(That was QED quote, when you don't get anything: "Nothing happened, at least... Not in zis reality")

[Xfiles90210]

Story Updated: Nov / 1st

Also, I'm updating the story format for easier and more comfy reading.